*** January 2020 Mummies ***

[Lollypop79]

I'm struggling too but more on a personal level. The oh keeps finding excuses to be nasty with me and picked a fight every day since Wednesday. I just feel so rotten the whole time, my grandmother's funeral is today and barely slept since I've been crying all night... Yesterday was the worst.
We had a bday dinner with my in-laws and aside from being grumpy and antisocial, the oh said he had never felt so embarrassed by anyone in front of his whole family. Because he wanted to go see his cousin after the party, I asked him if his cousin was at his mother's house or his girlfriend in front of his dad. This was a so embarrassing apparently. Then he took our DD from the play area and decided he wanted to leave. I still had some fizzy water on the table which I had just ordered and tried to down it asap while I quickly sat down. My MIL told me to slow down and asked me why I was in a hurry. I told her the OH wanted to go and then he got even more angrier. I quickly picked up DD toys and books, said our goodbyes and left. He walked DD to my car and started strapping her into the car seat. I got in and put the bags down, closed the door, turned around and helped him put the tablet on the back seat, when I turned around again to get the extra battery on the passenger seat to charge it, he said, "later" and closed the door. I have no clue what I did wrong. He came home 40 minutes after me and I just locked myself into my DDs as he was getting angry again because I asked him what I did wrong room. I slept on a duvet on the ground, but I barely slept a wink. I have to get ready for the funeral but I look awful... I feel a bit lost...

Aw i’m so sorry Kitana. It’s awful of him to be like that to you. Especially after everything your going through with your grandmother passing away.
I don’t get why he is being like that so can’t really offer advice apart from to let him get on with whatever is going on in his head. Your not alone you’ve got all the January mummies to listen and lend an ear to listen. Try take a shower. They do wonders and see how you feel. Today was never going to be an easy day.
But please don’t sleep on the floor again. You need to look after yourself and the baby xx

 

[DeniceF]

I'm struggling too but more on a personal level. The oh keeps finding excuses to be nasty with me and picked a fight every day since Wednesday. I just feel so rotten the whole time, my grandmother's funeral is today and barely slept since I've been crying all night... Yesterday was the worst.
We had a bday dinner with my in-laws and aside from being grumpy and antisocial, the oh said he had never felt so embarrassed by anyone in front of his whole family. Because he wanted to go see his cousin after the party, I asked him if his cousin was at his mother's house or his girlfriend in front of his dad. This was a so embarrassing apparently. Then he took our DD from the play area and decided he wanted to leave. I still had some fizzy water on the table which I had just ordered and tried to down it asap while I quickly sat down. My MIL told me to slow down and asked me why I was in a hurry. I told her the OH wanted to go and then he got even more angrier. I quickly picked up DD toys and books, said our goodbyes and left. He walked DD to my car and started strapping her into the car seat. I got in and put the bags down, closed the door, turned around and helped him put the tablet on the back seat, when I turned around again to get the extra battery on the passenger seat to charge it, he said, "later" and closed the door. I have no clue what I did wrong. He came home 40 minutes after me and I just locked myself into my DDs room as he was getting angry again because I asked him what I did wrong. I slept on a duvet on the ground, but I barely slept a wink. I have to get ready for the funeral but I look awful... I feel a bit lost...

Awwww, @Kitana, I'm sending you a virtual hug As women I feel it's so automatic for us to think "it's my fault" when people around are unhappy but really everyone is responsible for their own emotions and how they communicate them. It can be hard to think of a boundary but it's also healthy to acknowledge "this is what he is going thru, and I can give him space to process his emotions" while taking a step back, feeling your own space and giving yourself self-love and self-care. Especially now with the funeral, I hope you also have the space to feel your grief but also feel the love of your family and everyone else who is there for you. Remember, this too will pass and you will feel better and your OH will get over his thing and be there for you. And in the meantime, like @Lollypop79 said, we're all here for you.

 

[NicoMaria]

Sorry I don't always have time to chat but just thought I'd add a blue to a very pink January! We found out we're having a boy yesterday! Hope you are all doing well xx

 

[Lollypop79]

Sorry I don't always have time to chat but just thought I'd add a blue to a very pink January! We found out we're having a boy yesterday! Hope you are all doing well xx

Aw lovely. Congratulations. Can’t wait to find out myself. 25days to go till my scan xx

 

[Kitana]

Thank you ladies. In the morning, I left for the funeral alone. I got ready and dressed at my parents' home. I told the MIL what happened and I think they had a good chat since he was there a bit before the funeral started together with his parents and our DD. Sometimes you just need to call for help. They were shocked he told me that he was so sick of having me around the house, he will have to get used to it though. 5 more months until our second DD is born and I won't be leaving the house just because he wants to be alone. We've made up and I hope he will be a bit more considerate in the future...
Thank for listening to my rant!x

 

[Kitana]

Sorry I don't always have time to chat but just thought I'd add a blue to a very pink January! We found out we're having a boy yesterday! Hope you are all doing well xx

Awww congrats!!

 

[Lollypop79]

Hey ladies. How is everyone? I already know the answer but need some reassurance. I’m 15 weeks 5 days and I know generally you don’t feel baby move for a while and in any sort of pattern to count but I’ve generally. Felt a little almost everyday. I’ve not felt anything for a day and a half and i’m starting to worry. It’s normal though isn’t it. Baby to small to feel all the time? I keep thinking at the scan the baby was moving lots but didn’t feel it only when quite a big movement xx

 

[chattychar1990]

big hugs to you @Kitana xx

 

[DeniceF]

Hey ladies. How is everyone? I already know the answer but need some reassurance. I’m 15 weeks 5 days and I know generally you don’t feel baby move for a while and in any sort of pattern to count but I’ve generally. Felt a little almost everyday. I’ve not felt anything for a day and a half and i’m starting to worry. It’s normal though isn’t it. Baby to small to feel all the time? I keep thinking at the scan the baby was moving lots but didn’t feel it only when quite a big movement xx

I'm sure it's normal! After I felt it for the 1st time, next time was only a week later, then again a few days later... I think I can sense it better now but still only with stronger kicks and in certain positions. Breathe calm and happiness to the belly and don't worry

 

[Lollypop79]

I'm sure it's normal! After I felt it for the 1st time, next time was only a week later, then again a few days later... I think I can sense it better now but still only with stronger kicks and in certain positions. Breathe calm and happiness to the belly and don't worry

Thankyou. It’s all I needed to hear. I know this but it’s good to be hear it from someone else xx

 

[Kitana]

I wouldn't worry too much either @Lollypop79, like @DeniceF says, it might take a while before you feel "regular" movements. I also have days where I don't feel her at all and days where I've felt her several times. They are still so tiny and 15 weeks is still early for movements. My midwife told me you can start to feel them at around 20 weeks a lot more regularly.


@chattychar1990 Thank you hun! It's so much better now with the oh, even my mother had a chat with him and he's been so much nicer to me. Luckily everyone is on my side because I thought I was overreacting, but they all think he was being very rude and inconsiderate. Hope it stays like this for a few weeks at least! Thanks for the support!x

 

[Outofsync]

I’m 19 plus 3 no bump, can’t feel anything I was a uk size 16-18 pre pregnancy but not put any weight on!! Everything was fine a couple of weeks ago at scan and got anomaly scan at 21 plus 4 so hopefully start to feel something and see something soon! Had some stretching pains but no flutters like everyone says I should be looking out for!

Not been on much as working loads of extra hours now in lieu so I can leave early for maternity! Hope everyone is ok?

Kitana im sure hubby was just having a bad day defo make him sleep on the floor though not you! Me and hubby have been snapping at each other a bit more than usual think it’s down to been a bit tired from working extra and he hasn’t been helping out but it all resolves in the end! Xx

 

[Kitana]

I’m 19 plus 3 no bump, can’t feel anything I was a uk size 16-18 pre pregnancy but not put any weight on!! Everything was fine a couple of weeks ago at scan and got anomaly scan at 21 plus 4 so hopefully start to feel something and see something soon! Had some stretching pains but no flutters like everyone says I should be looking out for!

Not been on much as working loads of extra hours now in lieu so I can leave early for maternity! Hope everyone is ok?

Kitana im sure hubby was just having a bad day defo make him sleep on the floor though not you! Me and hubby have been snapping at each other a bit more than usual think it’s down to been a bit tired from working extra and he hasn’t been helping out but it all resolves in the end! Xx

That's smart! But don't get too exhausted by working too much!

The oh has been working loads and has a lot of stress but he shouldn't use me as a punching bag, certainly not when my grandmother passed away and me arranging the funeral. He was really selfish. But let's hope it stays like this for a while.

When it's you first baby it takes a while before you can feel them. Is your placenta at the back of at the front? With my previous pregnancy, my placenta was at the front, which acted like a cushion when the baby would kick. I could barely feel anything until about 22-24 weeks.

I don't know if you take baths but my DD would always kick up a storm when I took a bath, and this little one seems to like it too!x

 

[chattychar1990]

@Kitana - so glad he has got hes act together and treating you alot nicer. Men really can be di@ks when they want to be!
Supporting you always xx

 

[DeniceF]

Hi ladies, I just came back from a "detailed scan" at week 18+3 days (that's set as I was temperature charting when we conceived and was confirmed at the 8 week scan). Our boy is big and measuring at 19+2 on most of the indicators - head circumference, femur length and even measuring at 20+1 for abdominal circumference! So I imagine him as having a round belly like mine

Unfortunately I didn't get a printout of the whole body visible, just the individual views the doctor was looking at But here's his first "embarassing" shot:

 

[Zara96]

Hi ladies, I just came back from a "detailed scan" at week 18+3 days (that's set as I was temperature charting when we conceived and was confirmed at the 8 week scan). Our boy is big and measuring at 19+2 on most of the indicators - head circumference, femur length and even measuring at 20+1 for abdominal circumference! So I imagine him as having a round belly like mine

Unfortunately I didn't get a printout of the whole body visible, just the individual views the doctor was looking at But here's his first "embarassing" shot:
View attachment 87037

Oh how lovely bless him so amazing seeing them on the scan nerve racking but so lovely. Got my 20 week scan tuesday. What week are you sorry ? Xx

 

[DeniceF]

Oh how lovely bless him so amazing seeing them on the scan nerve racking but so lovely. Got my 20 week scan tuesday. What week are you sorry ? Xx

Just got to 19 weeks today Good luck with your scan on Tuesday!

I also just found out that I have diastasis recti - my abdominal muscles have separated and the gap between is 4 fingerwidths...If I do anything that causes my core to tighten, my belly turns into a toblerone-shape. Its not causing me any discomfort yet but I've been reading about it and other than avoiding certain moves and exercises, seems like I can't do much until after the birth... Does anyone have experience with it?

 

[Kitana]

@DeniceF I don't have any experience with diastasis recti but I'm so afraid to get that! I used to work out a lot with my previous pregnancy, even crossfit until I was 6 months until I could barely walk after a wod due to the SPD.

Luckily we had a physiotherapist among the coaches who told me to take it easy because of the chance of diastasis recti. I had never even heard of it before he mentioned it! I was very careful after that, like you said, avoid using your abs, push yourself up with your arms when getting up, roll out of bed in the morning. I had physiotherapy after birth and also did lots of ab exercises to strengthen the muscles again. I don't think it will go away but you can avoid worse damage. Some women get surgery to attach the abs back together again.x

 

[Zara96]

Just got to 19 weeks today Good luck with your scan on Tuesday!

I also just found out that I have diastasis recti - my abdominal muscles have separated and the gap between is 4 fingerwidths...If I do anything that causes my core to tighten, my belly turns into a toblerone-shape. Its not causing me any discomfort yet but I've been reading about it and other than avoiding certain moves and exercises, seems like I can't do much until after the birth... Does anyone have experience with it?

What causes this to happen ? what is it my lovely? Never heard of this before. X

 

[Baby Ali]

Hey ladies. How is everyone? I already know the answer but need some reassurance. I’m 15 weeks 5 days and I know generally you don’t feel baby move for a while and in any sort of pattern to count but I’ve generally. Felt a little almost everyday. I’ve not felt anything for a day and a half and i’m starting to worry. It’s normal though isn’t it. Baby to small to feel all the time? I keep thinking at the scan the baby was moving lots but didn’t feel it only when quite a big movement xx

Hi am from December mummies am pregnant with number 4
U start to feel the baby from 18 weeks
I started feeling baby movements from week 20
So dnt be worried or scared they r tiny b4 week 18
Hope this helps xxx