****July 2018 Mummies - Tri 2****

how do you all deal with busybody annoying people who judge everything about your pregnancy and tell you what you should be doing/thinking/feeling?

On a Friday a bunch of people from work go to the pub after work l- just a casual anyone can turn up type thing. So last night I went and the first thing someone said to me was “can I just ask what we’re you thinking??•” (you’ll have to imagine the shocked tones!) like wtf has it got to do with this random woman from work that I don’t even really know. Then she was questioning that we’re not finding out the gender. Honestly never knew it would be so controversial with 95% of the people we’ve told. “Oh but otherwise you can’t buy anything for the baby until it’s born” “unisex clothes are all grey” “i can’t knit anything unless I know pink or blue”... clearly I’m on another planet but I think kids are kids and if I have a girl and she wants to wear dinasours why not?! We have loads of nice baby things that are colourful and have animals on and why can’t you knit in yellow, or green, or multicoloured if it offends you so much that on some days my
Boy might wear pink?

When I told my team I was pregnant before Christmas one of the ladies was straight away saying I shouldn’t have told them because I wasn’t 12 weeks and how stupid was that and everyone waits until 12 weeks... I was 11+4 and had had 4 scans by then so I knew everything was going well but why should I justify it?! Then the next day I was going for pizza after work and she was like well you know you won’t be able to do that when the baby comes... what eat pizza is banned? Or going outside? It’s not even like I go out often and I never really drank before the pregnancy so it’s not like I need to make massive lifestyle changes

and, why is it as soon as people find out your pregnant the first thing they do is start telling you their traumatic labour story and how you can’t possibly imagine the pain / how much sleep you’re not going to get. Literally had a conversation with a friend who was trying to tell me to be scared of labour because it hurts so much I should start worrying now. I was like erm there are so many things that could go wrong for me in the next 6 months I think I’ll save the worrying for you know keeping the baby alive long enough to get to labour. It’s like there’s 3 types of mums - the ones that want to scare you, the competitive ones that want to tell you how they had a 72hr natural birth and conceived in 6 seconds and then the nice ones that are supportive and actually tell you useful things

Then there’s the well meaning but factually incorrect people like my mother who within ( mins of finding out I was pregnant decided the consultants were wrong to want to induce me at 38 weeks because the baby’s lungs won’t have developed. Again, I think the consultants might know more than you and they wouldn’t do it without a bloody good reason! Then the next week she was telling me I have to be induced at exactly 38 weeks or the baby will die because she read it online. Ffs it can be anywhere up to 38+6 according to the actual doctor but of course she knows best...

That’s without all the extra shit I seem to get because of my diabetes “oh so you’ll have to have a c-section then” “you’ll give birth to a 10 pounder” “aren’t you worried your baby will have diabetes” “yeah but a cake won’t affect your blood sugar” seriously either do some research, ask, or just fuck off!

Sorry, not slept this week and it’s so exhausting not reacting to people’s annoying comments. I know they mean well but it’s so ignorant and unhelpful and from people that have been through it so must surely know how annoying it is! I need some good sentences to shut people down when they get like this so I don’t get to my third trimester and start punching people
 
Just realised how long that post was! Feel free to ignore I really just needed to get it off my chest!
 
Just realised how long that post was! Feel free to ignore I really just needed to get it off my chest!

Vent away...it's what this place is for.

As for comeback lines, a particularly useful one...especially when said with deadpan indifference is, "Hmmm, interesting, thanks".

If it's things like finding out the gender or questioning things you're doing, try saying, "funny how we humans are all so different isn't it!"
Or, if it requires a full response, "yeah, I'm starting to think people believe we're making decisions just to piss them off, but we're actually just listening to our doctor and making it about what we want. Each to their own and all that."
 
Just realised how long that post was! Feel free to ignore I really just needed to get it off my chest!

Vent away...it's what this place is for.

As for comeback lines, a particularly useful one...especially when said with deadpan indifference is, "Hmmm, interesting, thanks".

If it's things like finding out the gender or questioning things you're doing, try saying, "funny how we humans are all so different isn't it!"
Or, if it requires a full response, "yeah, I'm starting to think people believe we're making decisions just to piss them off, but we're actually just listening to our doctor and making it about what we want. Each to their own and all that."

Love that last one GG! Cheered me right up
 
Katy I've realised just to ignore everyone and everything and focus solely on you and your little family. People piss me off way too much and have way too many opinions and I truly wanna punch them in the face with a brick but now I just don't even entertain their opinions, just walk away or ignore them haha x
 
Katybaby hey your first rant! lol wouldn't worry rant away. I think everyone has done. GG tried to set fire to her husband with tampons. Haha!

Sometimes you just have to be downright rude with people. It's weird how everyone seems to think they have a right to touch the bump or give life advice once you become pregnant. Honestly sometimes you need to say " You know what, what I do with my pregnancy or my diabetes is really none of your fucking business" Or "Do you actually know anything about diabetes because as somebody who has it, it just sounds so ignorant when you ask these questions"

But then again I can be pretty rude when I need to be and I know that isn't everyone's style. Sometimes though people just need to be told. Usually once somebody's been bluntly put down about it, they wise up. After all it is rude/unnecessary to ask these questions normally when you aren't invited to give your opinion . Why should pregnancy be different? Xx
 
Last edited:
Just had the realisation that soon we'll all be halfway through the pregnancy :)
 
eek Jem you're right and how exciting! I'm some ways time flies in other's it's so slow

I agree with the others Katy. my answer for most things is to put on a really uninterested face or quite obviously look at my husband and raise my eyebrows

my oh agreed this week that once we know the sex we won't discuss names with anyone as we were already sick of people offering their view. we dont mind suggestions but when people say "i dont like that... " it gets me so riled up. it's worked out okay anyway as husband as said can decide by myself so I'm not even going to tell husband
 
Last edited:
Shep were completly different as soon as we have a name were telling, idc of people don't like it I've made up my mind, and i really can't stand people constantly just shouting names at me. Was annoying with dd middle name. Arghhhh I'm angry thinking about it.

Katy just do a yeahhh OK, and yawn, show them your really not intrested or just start speaking to someone else. I got called rude for walking away from a conversation about my mcs I didn't even bring up, sorry but why would I wanna talk about it to you or at all.

Happy 15w jem. :)
 
Shep were completly different as soon as we have a name were telling, idc of people don't like it I've made up my mind, and i really can't stand people constantly just shouting names at me. Was annoying with dd middle name. Arghhhh I'm angry thinking about it.

Katy just do a yeahhh OK, and yawn, show them your really not intrested or just start speaking to someone else. I got called rude for walking away from a conversation about my mcs I didn't even bring up, sorry but why would I wanna talk about it to you or at all.

Happy 15w jem. :)

Oooh, that's one of the few times I have no problem being rude straight back. Usually with, "Actually, I think it's rude to start an uninvited discussion about my uterus and losses, so look in the mirror if you want to throw accusations of rudeness around".

I had an old chap in a supermarket once come right up close to my face to tell me how rude I was for wearing "outdoor clothing" in a supermarket. I had clean wellies on in the middle of summer. I laughed initially and his wife came and pulled him away. a few aisles later, he tutted very loudly and then said, again loudly, "so rude, so very rude". So... I put my big voice on and said even louder, "Actually sir, I think you'll find the only person who has been rude here is the man that approached a single female in an intimidating manner for no reason other than snobbery. Next time, wind your bloody neck in."
 
eek Jem you're right and how exciting! I'm some ways time flies in other's it's so slow

I agree with the others Katy. my answer for most things is to put on a really uninterested face or quite obviously look at my husband and raise my eyebrows

my oh agreed this week that once we know the sex we won't discuss names with anyone as we were already sick of people offering their view. we dont mind suggestions but when people say "i dont like that... " it gets me so riled up. it's worked out okay anyway as husband as said can decide by myself so I'm not even going to tell husband

Same. My gran told me she hated Ivy's name. "Oh really, hmm okay"
"You don't like the name?"
*stupid rude fake whisper* "I actually hate it. But you've still time" Fuck you then

I'll be announcing once he/she's born. I've seen that it seems once baby is here's nobody says anything about name choice. I'd never dream of saying something about someone's name preference!! Xx
 
Last edited:
Katy feel free to rant, this is the best place for it!
Some people are assholes and there is no point wasting time being angry at them. Ignore, ignore, ignore!

Happy 15 week Jem!

Shep we will be doing the same. Oncw we have a name for this baby we will keep it a secret. Can't stand getting negative opinions from people x
 
PB my mother in law does that. It does my nut in. We already have our girls name and have told her a million times we don't need girls names. Literally the other night she's like

"Sophie"
"Rebecca"
"Debra"
"We don't need girls names"
"Jason"
"Jane"

Grr you stupid idiot!!
 
Last edited:
Shep were completly different as soon as we have a name were telling, idc of people don't like it I've made up my mind, and i really can't stand people constantly just shouting names at me. Was annoying with dd middle name. Arghhhh I'm angry thinking about it.

Katy just do a yeahhh OK, and yawn, show them your really not intrested or just start speaking to someone else. I got called rude for walking away from a conversation about my mcs I didn't even bring up, sorry but why would I wanna talk about it to you or at all.

Happy 15w jem. :)

Oooh, that's one of the few times I have no problem being rude straight back. Usually with, "Actually, I think it's rude to start an uninvited discussion about my uterus and losses, so look in the mirror if you want to throw accusations of rudeness around".

I had an old chap in a supermarket once come right up close to my face to tell me how rude I was for wearing "outdoor clothing" in a supermarket. I had clean wellies on in the middle of summer. I laughed initially and his wife came and pulled him away. a few aisles later, he tutted very loudly and then said, again loudly, "so rude, so very rude". So... I put my big voice on and said even louder, "Actually sir, I think you'll find the only person who has been rude here is the man that approached a single female in an intimidating manner for no reason other than snobbery. Next time, wind your bloody neck in."

Outdoor clothing as opposed to? Pretty sure I've never saw anyone being escorted out of Tesco for wellies. Some people are such assholes. I'd have been so pissed if somebody came up to me like that for no reason! Haha it's actually making me mad thinking about it and it wasn't even me. Pregnancy hormones are kicking in! Lol xx
 
Happy 15 weeks Jem!

I hope you managed to squeeze in some rest GG

I love you girls! My OH said I should just ignore it and let it go but I was like no it’s really annoying!! I’m definitely trying the eye roll

Wow shepherdess! Do you tend to like similar names then? My OH and I have an understanding that I pick but he can veto... there aren’t very many names we both like!!
 
Happy 15 weeks Jem!

I hope you managed to squeeze in some rest GG

I love you girls! My OH said I should just ignore it and let it go but I was like no it’s really annoying!! I’m definitely trying the eye roll

Wow shepherdess! Do you tend to like similar names then? My OH and I have an understanding that I pick but he can veto... there aren’t very many names we both like!!

haha no actually, boy names we kind of agree on but girls names he hates all of my suggestions but said the other day "these are getting weirder and weirder, you just pick and let me know. make sure I can spell it" haha they're not even that "out there" but he would pick Charlotte or Eve or Rachel whereas I like slightly more different ones.

I always wanted to call DD Edie but he didn't like it and when I have birth and they asked me her name I just told them without even discussing it (bad wife haha). this time it's highly likely to be Edie. he loves DDs name now but didn't during pregnancy
 
Yeah, got my eyes closed for half an hour, better than nothing.

Happy 15 weeks Jem.

Off to the pub now. Half of me wants it to be really busy and make lots of money. Half of me is desperate for it to be dead so that I can just prep veg, cook a load of Yorkshires and fuck off home to bed at 9pm, lol.

Ugh...If I have any trouble sleeping tonight, I think I'll actually cry, lol
 
Thanks everyone.
Ugh I'm so bored of weekends. We never do anything exciting anymore because I can't drink. It's so shit. I feel so down today and getting upset about irrational stuff!
My mum is looking to move to the town my sister lives in which is 20 mins away from me (she currently lives 10 mins away from me) and I don't see why she has to choose my sisters town and can't be open minded and look for both of our towns. Just find it really unfair and seeing it as she's obviously choosing my sister.. I know it's not the case but my stupid irrational mood is making me think that!
Just had enough!
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Members online

No members online now.

Latest posts

Forum statistics

Threads
473,596
Messages
4,653,911
Members
110,081
Latest member
monicurka
Back
Top