****July 2018 Mummies - Tri 2****

[_GG_]

Oooh happy scan day Laura xxx

 

[Shanivy]

Lol Shep if OH wants to cuddle me he needs to cuddle my pillows too haha. I put one behind my back, one between my legs and one in front of me I need to buy a pregnancy pillow I think. I'm still half on my stomach too xx

KHTW thank you 21 weeks for you tomorrow omg I feel like last month we posted our bfps lol Xx

 

[Shanivy]

Ooh going to a busy one today!! Good luck Laura for the scan I'm sure your little girl is still a girl lol. Thanks I'm feeling a bit better now, just sometimes everything piles up, especially when you have our own issues at the same time xx

 

[sarah1986]

Good luck all of you with your scans today!! Look forward to finding out the sex's that's if your finding out of course xx

 

[malagueta]

Hi ladies! Four scans today, good luck all. Can't wait to see what you're all having, those who don't know (if finding out).

Thanks for the discount code Sarah. I think I'll have a look online later to see what's available.

Been a bit AWOL this weekend as had family over visiting. I had a bit of a stress about money last night but some of you guys' MILs sound more stress inducing! I don't understand why they feel the need to encroach so much and force themselves upon you. Mine isn't so bad but has kind of invited herself to stay at ours indefinitely after baby is born to cook and clean and generally help out. On the one hand I think this might be helpful but on the other I feel stressed thinking about it already as I never feel particularly relaxed in my own house when my inlaws are here. Ah well, when baby is here maybe I'll end up feeling like I have a free pass to say what I like and tell them to leave when I want!

 

[_GG_]

Hi ladies! Four scans today, good luck all. Can't wait to see what you're all having, those who don't know (if finding out).

Thanks for the discount code Sarah. I think I'll have a look online later to see what's available.

Been a bit AWOL this weekend as had family over visiting. I had a bit of a stress about money last night but some of you guys' MILs sound more stress inducing! I don't understand why they feel the need to encroach so much and force themselves upon you. Mine isn't so bad but has kind of invited herself to stay at ours indefinitely after baby is born to cook and clean and generally help out. On the one hand I think this might be helpful but on the other I feel stressed thinking about it already as I never feel particularly relaxed in my own house when my inlaws are here. Ah well, when baby is here maybe I'll end up feeling like I have a free pass to say what I like and tell them to leave when I want!

Ask her...in fact, talk to your husband and tell her that if you need her you will call her but that you and husband will be taking baby home alone together and starting your family life together. Thank her deeply for the offer, but I personally would insist.

You will NEVER get that time back. The first of everything you do at home will be shared with her as well. Of course if you want that, go for it, but it would be a big fat NO for me. I can't imagine having to struggle with deeply personal things like trouble pooing or dealing with swollen bits with anyone but Dan in the house. I will be fiercely precious about our first few days with baby. Visitors not a problem, a little help lovely, but no way would I have anyone stay...not even my own mum.

Don't be steam rolled into anything you're not 100% happy with.

 

[PeanutButter]

Hi ladies! Four scans today, good luck all. Can't wait to see what you're all having, those who don't know (if finding out).

Thanks for the discount code Sarah. I think I'll have a look online later to see what's available.

Been a bit AWOL this weekend as had family over visiting. I had a bit of a stress about money last night but some of you guys' MILs sound more stress inducing! I don't understand why they feel the need to encroach so much and force themselves upon you. Mine isn't so bad but has kind of invited herself to stay at ours indefinitely after baby is born to cook and clean and generally help out. On the one hand I think this might be helpful but on the other I feel stressed thinking about it already as I never feel particularly relaxed in my own house when my inlaws are here. Ah well, when baby is here maybe I'll end up feeling like I have a free pass to say what I like and tell them to leave when I want!

Ask her...in fact, talk to your husband and tell her that if you need her you will call her but that you and husband will be taking baby home alone together and starting your family life together. Thank her deeply for the offer, but I personally would insist.

You will NEVER get that time back. The first of everything you do at home will be shared with her as well. Of course if you want that, go for it, but it would be a big fat NO for me. I can't imagine having to struggle with deeply personal things like trouble pooing or dealing with swollen bits with anyone but Dan in the house. I will be fiercely precious about our first few days with baby. Visitors not a problem, a little help lovely, but no way would I have anyone stay...not even my own mum.

Don't be steam rolled into anything you're not 100% happy with.

I wouldnt allow in laws to stay when baby is born. You need to have time just the 3 of you to find your feet. Also need to be comftable. When i had dd i was basically naked all the time cos breastfeeding and hurt my boobs to wear anything. If you dont want her there say so dont go along with stuff you dont want.

 

[malagueta]

Hi ladies! Four scans today, good luck all. Can't wait to see what you're all having, those who don't know (if finding out).

Thanks for the discount code Sarah. I think I'll have a look online later to see what's available.

Been a bit AWOL this weekend as had family over visiting. I had a bit of a stress about money last night but some of you guys' MILs sound more stress inducing! I don't understand why they feel the need to encroach so much and force themselves upon you. Mine isn't so bad but has kind of invited herself to stay at ours indefinitely after baby is born to cook and clean and generally help out. On the one hand I think this might be helpful but on the other I feel stressed thinking about it already as I never feel particularly relaxed in my own house when my inlaws are here. Ah well, when baby is here maybe I'll end up feeling like I have a free pass to say what I like and tell them to leave when I want!

Ask her...in fact, talk to your husband and tell her that if you need her you will call her but that you and husband will be taking baby home alone together and starting your family life together. Thank her deeply for the offer, but I personally would insist.

You will NEVER get that time back. The first of everything you do at home will be shared with her as well. Of course if you want that, go for it, but it would be a big fat NO for me. I can't imagine having to struggle with deeply personal things like trouble pooing or dealing with swollen bits with anyone but Dan in the house. I will be fiercely precious about our first few days with baby. Visitors not a problem, a little help lovely, but no way would I have anyone stay...not even my own mum.

Don't be steam rolled into anything you're not 100% happy with.

Thanks for the advice GG. I have mentioned it to my husband but he's Spanish and has a very laidback attitude and thinks it's too early to think about things like that!

I laughed at the trouble pooing part but realised it's very much true! You are so right with the fact that we won't get the time back and first everythings, and this is my main concern.

I also read one of your posts miles back in this thread when catching up, saying your side of the family was supportive, helpful and just a phonecall away if needed. My family is like that too: happy to help out if needed but also willing to leave us to our own devices if that's what we want.

It must be a MIL thing. If I end up having a son, will I one day become some crazy MIL too?!

 

[Shanivy]

Hi ladies! Four scans today, good luck all. Can't wait to see what you're all having, those who don't know (if finding out).

Thanks for the discount code Sarah. I think I'll have a look online later to see what's available.

Been a bit AWOL this weekend as had family over visiting. I had a bit of a stress about money last night but some of you guys' MILs sound more stress inducing! I don't understand why they feel the need to encroach so much and force themselves upon you. Mine isn't so bad but has kind of invited herself to stay at ours indefinitely after baby is born to cook and clean and generally help out. On the one hand I think this might be helpful but on the other I feel stressed thinking about it already as I never feel particularly relaxed in my own house when my inlaws are here. Ah well, when baby is here maybe I'll end up feeling like I have a free pass to say what I like and tell them to leave when I want!

Ooh definitely decide if it's what you want. Personally it would make me unsettled. With the struggle with breastfeeding, post partum bleeding and recovering in general, Id be uncomfortable having my in laws there.

Even things like bringing sheets downstairs to wash that you've leaked blood onto without them seeing. Having your nipples out constantly trying to figure latching if baby's is slow at it. Hormones making you emotional every five minutes when things don't quite go to plan. Having to give her time with the baby every so often if she's there. Just generally figuring out how to be a mum. Silly things.

It's definitely helpful having someone make a dinner and clean up, but figure where your comfort level is with it. Would you really ask them to leave or just put up with it? If she lives close by she could be a big help without actually staying. You're choice however not hers hun xx

 

[malagueta]

Thanks for the advice GG, PB and Shan. It's good to hear opinions from people who've had babies already too as I wasn't sure if I was maybe overreacting to a kind offer of help. My mum passed away 5 years ago and my one aunt who is really involved with me and interested in my pregnancy has no children so sometimes I feel like I'm going into a lot of this blind as I have no close family members to ask how they dealt with these situations.

My inlaws only live an hour away in a small town but they act like it may as well be on the other side of the moon and they never just come for a day, they always stay overnight.

I'm definitely going to discuss this again with hubby as the more I think about it the more I don't think I want them to stay for several days. Visits are fine but I don't think I'll be able to deal with anything longer than a few hours to begin with. Luckily hubby is quite easy going and agrees with me on most things so if I put my foot down he'll talk to them and sort things out.

 

[PeanutButter]

Also she might try to take over if she thinks your doing something wrong. Which isnt nice!
An hour away is nothing!!! My family andd my in laws live an hour away and we go once a week for a few hours.

 

[malagueta]

Also she might try to take over if she thinks your doing something wrong. Which isnt nice!
An hour away is nothing!!! My family andd my in laws live an hour away and we go once a week for a few hours.

Exactly! An hour is nothing. I am used to travelling fair distances (minimum three hours) to see my family but my inlaws make out that an hour is a massive thing.

 

[Shanivy]

And shes a mum too, so really she should understand where you're coming from. She maybe may have had her mum there for her , but I doubt she'd want her in laws there when was recovering from having your OH. You don't need to play host when you've just given birth and I'd honestly be surprised if she's offended. Even if she's is that's not your problem.

An hour away is easy! I wish mine were an hour away, my in laws are moving just around the corner from me They'll have dd for me when I'm in labour which is handy. But they've been well warned if I have my homebirth to not even think about "popping round to see how you're doing" because I'll kill them lol. Xx

 

[Katyx3]

Morning all! Sorry to jump in here but I am new to this site.
I’m Katy 28 from Chester (technically live in north wales) my EDD is 8th July this will be our first! Our anomaly scan is at 14:50 I’m so nervous but hope (really hope!) to find out gender!
Hope you lovelies are all doing well xxx

 

[PeanutButter]

Welcome katy! Congrats in your pregnancy. Fx your LO doesnt have its legs crossed then aha
Thats 5 scans today aha.

 

[PeanutButter]

And shes a mum too, so really she should understand where you're coming from. She maybe may have had her mum there for her , but I doubt she'd want her in laws there when was recovering from having your OH. You don't need to play host when you've just given birth and I'd honestly be surprised if she's offended. Even if she's is that's not your problem.

An hour away is easy! I wish mine were an hour away, my in laws are moving just around the corner from me They'll have dd for me when I'm in labour which is handy. But they've been well warned if I have my homebirth to not even think about "popping round to see how you're doing" because I'll kill them lol. Xx

Are you hiring a birhing pool or anything?
Omg hope they dont, dont need that while your in that amount of pain!

 

[_GG_]

Malagueta, an hour away is perfect. They can pop in every day if they want but do set ground rules.
My in laws live just over 2 miles away and they think it's to the moon and back. This Christmas, all three wanted to come and their two dogs. We have r dogs and only a 2 bed bungalow so can you imagine 5 adults and 6 dogs in one house with one bathroom? They stayed in a local B&B. I know that this means they'll want to be with us all day so Dan and I have already set some compromise plans in place.

1/ no visitors before midday and applying this to both sides of the family to be fair.
2/ when baby sleeps and I want to sleep, visitors leave, if they've not been here long...Dan will take them out for a while.
3/ if they get too on top of us, we'll suddenly need a few things from town and as they're "only here to help" what better way than to fuck off shopping for an hour, lol.
4/ no visitors after 7-8pm, I'll be a new mum, not a stepford wife and seeing as MIL likes to demand I cook or bake, even at a time when I was beyond exhausted and stricken with grief after losing the second of two foals within a week...I have no reason to think that will change. Which leads to number 5..
5/ when here, visitors sit and accept what me and Dan are comfortable with. Of course have cuddles, but my baby, my final say and same for Dan. I had to physically remove my niece from my sister's MIL when she was a newborns as she refused to give her back to my sister. Any of that shot in my house and Dan will get your coat and send you to your car to only come back when you have some respect for us in our home with our baby.

Yes, I sound kind of harsh. Reality is, with anyone we know other than his family, we'll be super chilled out as nobody else is like them. But with them, we are being very black and white even now. It's most certainly not too early to get this sorted...actually, the longer you wait, the more emotional you will become and more likely to be bullied Into something you're not happy with.

I've not had a baby before, but I know I will be crippled with my pelvis after being sedentary in a hospital bed for a few days and will have to be careful after a c section so I will no doubt need help and don't want to burden Dan with all of it, so I will just be tactical with asking for help when they are here.

On top of that, I know very well that all MIL is really concerned about is getting perfect pictures of her seemingly being the worlds best gran to put on Facebook and fool the world into thinking she's so bloody wonderful.
She won't actually want to help. She spent almost a week last year telling me she just wants to help so I said I hadn't had chance to do a bathroom deep clean for a while. She still moans about it, lol.

All those who have had babies already will I am sure, tell you just how undignified your first few days and weeks can be...so visits no problem, but staying...hold firm...I could tell in your first post that you weren't comfortable with it.

I am sure hubby will be on side if you spell it all out to him

 

[Shanivy]

Morning all! Sorry to jump in here but I am new to this site.
I’m Katy 28 from Chester (technically live in north wales) my EDD is 8th July this will be our first! Our anomaly scan is at 14:50 I’m so nervous but hope (really hope!) to find out gender!
Hope you lovelies are all doing well xxx

Hey glad you came over. Scan number 5! Welcome and feel free to join in. Would you like me to pop your date up on the first page ? Fx you can update me to blue or pink lol.

 

[_GG_]

Morning all! Sorry to jump in here but I am new to this site.
I’m Katy 28 from Chester (technically live in north wales) my EDD is 8th July this will be our first! Our anomaly scan is at 14:50 I’m so nervous but hope (really hope!) to find out gender!
Hope you lovelies are all doing well xxx

Welcome Katy. Wow...5 scans in one day, it'll be a very busy thread this afternoon.

Congratulations. This is my first as well, at 39 so might be my only one, we'll see. This thread can move very quickly and today will be no exception with 5 of you getting anomaly scans. It's a great place though xx

 

[Amy207]

So... what an eventful scan that was.... the radiographer used the words difficult, awkward and I just said the word your after is stubborn....

So they managed to get nearly all measurements said all looked ok and healthy measuring correct, so I asked if possible could she sex the baby (my other half’s face lit up.....) after just over 5 minutes she couldn’t tell us anything said she couldn’t even hazard a guess.

Baby lay with hand in the mouth sucking it while legs were crossed and kept turning away from us...... all I heard my other half day was bloody typical stubborn child takes after you, he’s not wrong

So because I know all is ok with baby I have booked in for a private gender scan on Sunday, which I said when I booked I am not leaving till they tell me even if they have to shake me up side down!! So still team Yellow....