Gosh people say some really stupid things don't they. I'm a really shy and private person, so noone knows we are ttc or that we have had mcs. I think I would like to be able to share but I don't know who I could share with. I don't really have any close friends any more and I can't talk to my mum about it. I told my best friend after mc1 last year and it has just made our friendship awkward as she doesn't know what to say and her two children were both first tries. I just feel like it is never going to happen and I'm upsetting my oh and adding to his stress by not being able to do this. I think the unknown is the worst, I would feel much better if someone said you will have a baby, but it won't be until x.
-
Xenforo Cloud upgraded our forum to XenForo version 2.3.4. This update has created styling issues to our current templates. We will continue to work on clearing up these issues for the next few days, but please report any other issues you may experience so we can look into. Thanks for your patience and understanding.
June mummies loss thread
- Thread starter BunnyN
- Start date
Oh bunny that is such an insensitive comment, what would anyone think it was ok to say that?!
Lou I was due my scan today as well, not a nice thought to think that right now we should be out visiting people and sharing wonderful news but hopefully we will all be doing that soon anyway, I hope you are doing ok today.
Snowbee I am really hoping you have more luck soon honey, you certainly deserve it, please don't blame yourself for this though as it is not your fault.
I had my second round of medical management today and hallelujah it was a success! Certainly not a nice experience passing the tissue and I can't quite get that bit out of my mind yet, pain wise I wasn't too bad but for the last 3 evenings I've had very bad cramps and heavier bleeding so I don't think the tablets had to do much today xx
Lou I was due my scan today as well, not a nice thought to think that right now we should be out visiting people and sharing wonderful news but hopefully we will all be doing that soon anyway, I hope you are doing ok today.
Snowbee I am really hoping you have more luck soon honey, you certainly deserve it, please don't blame yourself for this though as it is not your fault.
I had my second round of medical management today and hallelujah it was a success! Certainly not a nice experience passing the tissue and I can't quite get that bit out of my mind yet, pain wise I wasn't too bad but for the last 3 evenings I've had very bad cramps and heavier bleeding so I don't think the tablets had to do much today xx
So glad it finally worked for you Lyndsey. Although I find it strange the things we wish for and congratulate each other for these days. Who would have thought passing tissue and getting BFNs could be good news? Sorry you found it a bit traumatic. I haven't passed all the tissue yet despite all my bleeding Monday. Part of me really wants to see it for myself for some kind of closure. Part of me is not sure if I want it stuck in my head. At the moment I'm passing small amounts of tissue every time I go to the toilet so not sure what there is really going to be left to see anyway. Sorry to share tmi. I don't want to gross anyone out or scare them but its not the kind of stuff you can share in daily conversation so its nice to say it somewhere.
Last edited:
Hi bunny, I know it is so strange isn't it. I had a similar conversation with the nurse this morning!
And that's what I thought, I didn't want to share too much about it as I know it can be disturbing even though most of us have been through it and I know ladies who haven't lost may read this too.
If you think it will get stuck in your head then I do advise you not to pay attention to what comes out, your situation sounds very similar to mine, did you find out at ~10 weeks that baby stopped growing about 6 weeks? And sac kept growing to 9 which is why it was 'missed miscarriage'?
And have you considered medical management to help it along at all? I didn't find it an easy decision the first time but I was going insane waiting and needed it to be over, no regrets xx
And that's what I thought, I didn't want to share too much about it as I know it can be disturbing even though most of us have been through it and I know ladies who haven't lost may read this too.
If you think it will get stuck in your head then I do advise you not to pay attention to what comes out, your situation sounds very similar to mine, did you find out at ~10 weeks that baby stopped growing about 6 weeks? And sac kept growing to 9 which is why it was 'missed miscarriage'?
And have you considered medical management to help it along at all? I didn't find it an easy decision the first time but I was going insane waiting and needed it to be over, no regrets xx
I kind of feel like if I don't see that not seeing will be stuck in my head forever too. We found out at 10+2 and baby made it to about 9 weeks. I'd rather let my body deal with it naturally but if nothing more happens eventually we have to see our other options. I'm a bit worried about medical management because I have a history of severe reactions to medications but then the same goes for a d&c. Monday I thought I was going to end up with an emergency d&c but the haemorrhaging stopped just in time.
Last edited:
Eryinera
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Dec 19, 2013
- Messages
- 7,618
- Reaction score
- 0
I think I have until Friday to get a bfn then I'll have to go back to be scanned and discuss other options then. I think I'll be OK though. If you have a bfn 3 weeks after the bleeding started it's very unlikely you'll need any other treatment or so i was told. I hope in a weird way we get bfns soon.
I saw the first one the second there wasn't much to see and the third time I chose not to look if you get me. So I've had experiences with all three. I don't think any way is easier. The 2nd removed my choice in the matter which was hard in a way. The third I feel kinda guilty about. I don't know whatever decision you make its not easy. People may read this later who Ave not gone through it but I'm not going to hold back I needed to know this information the first time round and I couldn't find it anywhere it was like miscarriagea are things that women go through but it must be hushed and swept under the carpet as quickly as possible and we mustn't talk about it. I don't know why. I've spoken to so many women since and heard so many tales. I've had so many tears shed on my shoulder. I don't know why its so hidden away. There should be a brooch like the cancer awareness ones that women and men can wear. I don't know my heads all over the place at the moment.
I saw the first one the second there wasn't much to see and the third time I chose not to look if you get me. So I've had experiences with all three. I don't think any way is easier. The 2nd removed my choice in the matter which was hard in a way. The third I feel kinda guilty about. I don't know whatever decision you make its not easy. People may read this later who Ave not gone through it but I'm not going to hold back I needed to know this information the first time round and I couldn't find it anywhere it was like miscarriagea are things that women go through but it must be hushed and swept under the carpet as quickly as possible and we mustn't talk about it. I don't know why. I've spoken to so many women since and heard so many tales. I've had so many tears shed on my shoulder. I don't know why its so hidden away. There should be a brooch like the cancer awareness ones that women and men can wear. I don't know my heads all over the place at the moment.
Last edited:
Oh bunny I didn't realise it grew to that stage, I am very sorry to hear this. I get what you mean about worrying about not seeing as well, I don't know what way to sway you to be honest and maybe you just need to wait until it happens and decide then. I don't think seeing it will scar you at all, just that some people may find it difficult to stop thinking about.
Oh Eryinera I do think people should know, I just don't want to share gory details that may upset people but actually even the information the nurse gave me about what to expect didn't prepare me as it was very different to what I pictured so I suppose if I did read it somewhere then it may have prepared me better.
And I do feel very strange talking to people who have no idea that I am going through something so serious and upsetting. One of my very good friends txt me yesterday just for a catch up sort of thing and asked what I'd been upto and I completely lied, same with my dad and my in laws, they have no idea at all! We have our reasons for not telling them but it does feel wrong and very odd, I feel as if we are missing out on the sympathy we deserve (I hope that comes accross the right way). I am in agreement with you Eryinera, it does seem to be hidden away and I'm not sure why that is xx
Oh Eryinera I do think people should know, I just don't want to share gory details that may upset people but actually even the information the nurse gave me about what to expect didn't prepare me as it was very different to what I pictured so I suppose if I did read it somewhere then it may have prepared me better.
And I do feel very strange talking to people who have no idea that I am going through something so serious and upsetting. One of my very good friends txt me yesterday just for a catch up sort of thing and asked what I'd been upto and I completely lied, same with my dad and my in laws, they have no idea at all! We have our reasons for not telling them but it does feel wrong and very odd, I feel as if we are missing out on the sympathy we deserve (I hope that comes accross the right way). I am in agreement with you Eryinera, it does seem to be hidden away and I'm not sure why that is xx
In a way I'm glad I made it so far. I had a chemical my 1st pregnancy and found it really hard to deal with. I got pregnant a month later and it sounds really strange but I counted the time until if I did have a MC I would have something to see. Thankfully that pregnancy went okay and she is 2.5 now. In some ways this has been easier because we know what we are grieving. We got a scan picture of our baby. Its heart had already stopped but it looks perfect and is somehow peaceful looking. Physically its been 1000x worse though. It is kind of sad getting to that stage because it seems like we got so close and if we do get pregnant again it is going to be a long time before I can relax.
Last edited:
millielaura
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2014
- Messages
- 12,533
- Reaction score
- 14
My first loss was at 14 weeks and this last loss at 12+2 so there was no way not to see. My loss at 10 weeks and then my twin loss where they measured 5 and a half weeks I did my best not to look. My first loss traumatised me quite a bit but then maybe I would of regretted not seeing more.
I get what you mean about the chemicals Bunny, with my chemicals it's kind of like a really heavy period and thinking the start of baby is in there whereas with m/cs you can see baby and know what you are grieving over etc. Xxx
I get what you mean about the chemicals Bunny, with my chemicals it's kind of like a really heavy period and thinking the start of baby is in there whereas with m/cs you can see baby and know what you are grieving over etc. Xxx
russellmuscle
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Feb 13, 2012
- Messages
- 11,994
- Reaction score
- 0
I didnt look, but I just knew. Im glad I didnt see - because at the time I MC I didnt even know I was pregnant yet!!
I read an article a lady had caught her baby and cleaned him down - he was so tiny, She buried him herself.
Part of me thinks thats an amazing thing to do, but I personally couldnt and probably wouldnt. I get alot of people dont under stand it.
xxx
I read an article a lady had caught her baby and cleaned him down - he was so tiny, She buried him herself.
Part of me thinks thats an amazing thing to do, but I personally couldnt and probably wouldnt. I get alot of people dont under stand it.
xxx
Last edited:
millielaura
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2014
- Messages
- 12,533
- Reaction score
- 14
My OH asked about what will happen to baby and could we bury him. I said no though as I reallly don't like the thought. They can do seperate services at the hosp but again I didnt feel like I could. I did take one pic of his foot though xx
If we have anything to bury we would like to bury our baby. We have picked a place already but I dont think we will really tell anyone else. I don't think there is any wrong or right way you just have to do what feels right for you.
How are you all today? Friday will be 8 weeks since my mc, I've still not had a period since (and I now don't think I've ovd either). I've got to go to my gp and get a bleed induced now, great. This happened after my last mc too and my cycles were messed up for over 6 months, I really hoped my body would play ball this time.
Physically I'm fine (apart from my body obviously is still messed up and won't go back to normal) but mentally I'm really really bitter. I feel snappy and short tempered about all sorts of things that wouldn't usually bother me and I'm worried I've turned into a rather horrible person. I'm hoping this is only temporary! I don't even want to say how I'm feeling but I'm worried keeping it in will make it worse. I'm so jealous, it hurts so much to see that of the group of ladies who mcd at the same time as me last year I'm the only one still here waiting. I'm sad to see people returning to ttc number 2 when I was here before they ttc number 1. Please tell me these feelings will go away as right now I hate myself for thinking this way. I don't want their babies, I just want our turn!
Physically I'm fine (apart from my body obviously is still messed up and won't go back to normal) but mentally I'm really really bitter. I feel snappy and short tempered about all sorts of things that wouldn't usually bother me and I'm worried I've turned into a rather horrible person. I'm hoping this is only temporary! I don't even want to say how I'm feeling but I'm worried keeping it in will make it worse. I'm so jealous, it hurts so much to see that of the group of ladies who mcd at the same time as me last year I'm the only one still here waiting. I'm sad to see people returning to ttc number 2 when I was here before they ttc number 1. Please tell me these feelings will go away as right now I hate myself for thinking this way. I don't want their babies, I just want our turn!
millielaura
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2014
- Messages
- 12,533
- Reaction score
- 14
Awww snowbee I feel the same!! Defo normal! Xx
Millie I can't begin to imagine what you have been through and are going through, have there been any investigations into why this keeps happening?
I do hope you start to feel better soon snowbee, I am sure those are very normal feelings, I have had similar thoughts after only one loss. I hope your body is back to normal soon and you can switch your mind to ttc mode and have something to concentrate on xx
I do hope you start to feel better soon snowbee, I am sure those are very normal feelings, I have had similar thoughts after only one loss. I hope your body is back to normal soon and you can switch your mind to ttc mode and have something to concentrate on xx
millielaura
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2014
- Messages
- 12,533
- Reaction score
- 14
I've had bloods done today and also having an op in the next couple months to look at the state of the scarring I have as they think that may well be affecting things xxx
russellmuscle
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Feb 13, 2012
- Messages
- 11,994
- Reaction score
- 0
the mile stones are the toughest to get through.I was fortune not to know, I did look up my EDD but not scans etc.
xxxx
