June mummies loss thread

[Louloubelle84]

Fair play snowbee, I don't think I would have gone. You are very strong.

I have a colleagues baby shower today. I will stay for a bit but not too long I doubt. I also am at a wedding tomorrow where the bride is pregnant so that's enough pregnant ladies for me!

 

[MrsS15]

Hi ladies,

I would have been due early July but do you mind if I join?
I'm feeling horrendously low at the moment. I've been pregnant twice since then and lost both of them too (early losses). I'm a children's nurse so constantly surrounded in babies but I seem to be able to compartmentalise that, it's family and friends around me that pain me. I had to delete my fb because the amount of people openly announcing their accidents just tore me in bits

Random question but are you all still positive that you'll get your baby? I've lost that completely. Cannot visualise having a baby in my arms at all now xx

 

[Louloubelle84]

Hi MrsS, you are most welcome. Sorry to hear you are having a rough time. Some days are harder than others.

I also have started to picture my future with just one child and I just accept that is the way it's going to be. But today I went to a colleagues baby shower and it made me feel happy for her as i remember the feeling g of carrying my child, labour and having my baby in arms and I now feel more determined to do anything I can to make it happen for me again.

I'm not ready to give up, I need another to add to my family and then we will be complete. So if it takes me years and years then so be it. I'm feeling strong today. Tomorrow might not be such a good day but I'm going to make the most of my positive thinking whilst I can.

Have faith and stay strong. Obviously there is the possibility that neither of us will have another child but we have given it our best shot and at the end if the day, we are blessed already with one child and that is something positive to focus one.

Sending you a hug xxx

 

[snowbee]

Hi MrsS, sorry to hear you are feeling down. You are very welcome here. I'm not positive about having a take home baby at all at the moment. We have been ttc for 4 years now, two pregnancies and two mcs later I'm having fertility treatment. I'm on my last cycle and as the others haven't worked I can't see why this one would be different. It seems to take me so long to fall pregnant then I lose them. It is very disheartening, and of course I'm not getting any younger, I'm 35 this year I haven't got time to mess about! It is strange though as although I feel like this today I do get days where I can see if happening, well I can imagine being pregnant again, I struggle with converting that to having a baby. Do you have any children already? We don't and I do find it hard to accept that we may not have any, it just seems to very unfair.

 

[Louloubelle84]

Snowbee FX this is the cycle for you. What are your next steps after this? As tough as it is, do you ever consider giving up? It's all so emotionally draining.

If I said to my OH I'm done with ttc he would be ok with that. But I just don't feel ready yet. Sometimes we say enough is enough but secretly I don't think I will e er stop. Lol xx

 

[Keeponhoping]

I was hoping I could join in if that's ok. Louloubelle, you sound so positive which is what I need at the moment! I've recently had a pregnancy of unknown location which hospital followed route of ectopic and was eventually given an injection to end the pregnancy. I am lucky enough to have a 3 year old little boy and like you want to complete my family and give him a sibling. I'm currently waiting on my first period since my injection, never wanted a period so much to know that my body is hopefully getting back to normal. Like you have good and bad days. Trying to focus on what I have rather than what I've lost and any other addition in the future will be a blessing!

 

[Keeponhoping]

P.s. wanted to say I'm sorry to have gate crashed the thread, lucky to have a supportive husband and his family. My family however are not so supportive with comments from my mum such as ' can your sister have your Moses basket' which was my Little boys when he was a baby, I said I didn't want to give it away, is precious!. My sister is due her second child in august. They both know what I've been through, has been a long 8 weeks. Then was told by my mum I had baby brain but with no baby, then she continues to buy baby clothes in front of me when I've told her not to as finding that hard. Sorry for the ramble just needed it off my chest.

 

[snowbee]

Keeponhoping welcome. Sorry to hear your mum is so thoughtless! Mine is the same. It doesn't help you feel any better does it.

Loulou we do get one cycle of IVF after this but at the moment I'm not eligible so need to lose a few kgs, which I find really difficult due to pcos. I'm not giving up, my husband wants children so badly it would totally break him if it doesn't happen. I don't think we will ever get to the stage where we stop trying and go back to contraception, surely that would just be totally pointless for us now. I'm CD18 today and got a super positive opk, the best one I've ever had, so fingers crossed for an egg (or two, I'm not adverse to twins!) and I'm hoping this cycle could be the one.

 

[Eryinera]

No such thing as gatecrashing this thread. I'm sorry for your loss. Sometimes people are insensitive luckily I have a thick skin and I'm determined but I musthink admit I sometimes find it hard. Esp as my cousins keep falling pregnant around me. It feels so cruel I can't see myself ever stopping despite me wanting to stop at 30 but my husband is the one less enthusiastic. The ball will always be in his court.... literally lol

 

[BunnyN]

Today was my due date. I am pregnant again so I know I have a lot to be thankful for but I felt like I needed to tell someone. Every one is so busy thinking about the new baby I dont think anyone remembers that it would have been my due date today.

 

[Eryinera]

Thinking of you gun my due date was last week x my grandad in law died today. Sad to think he could have met his new grandchild but he was suffering so it's best this way. Your little angels will never be forgotten. X x x

 

[PeanutButter]

9th june, my first due date is here Thought I'd be feeling worse but I have hope for this cycle as I'm ovulating. Hopefully this day will bring me luck

 

[snowbee]

Bunny and Peanut, thinking of you, hugs.

My due date was last week, sad to think I should have my baby by now but like Peanut I think I ovd over the weekend so hopefully June will finally be third time lucky?!

 

[PeanutButter]

Fx snowbee xx

 

[tinselcat]

Bunny - my thoughts are with you and the baby you lost.
xxx

 

[Redhead]

Today was my due date, and I to am pregnant again which I'm so grateful for, but I can't help but feel a sense of loss, I've mentioned this to noone, not even my husband, and I don't think he's remembered, which is OK because we are looking forward now.

 

[BunnyN]

Today was my due date, and I to am pregnant again which I'm so grateful for, but I can't help but feel a sense of loss, I've mentioned this to noone, not even my husband, and I don't think he's remembered, which is OK because we are looking forward now.

Thinking of you and your lost baby today.

Its a strange feeling because you are sad for the baby you lost but if you hadnt had you wouldnt be pregnant with the baby you have now. I would have done anything to have changed things then but now I just want this baby to stay safe. I still cried when I realised it was my due date though. I hadnt cried about our loss since I found out I was pregnant again. Some how I feel like I need to remember the date because our baby deserves that. I wanted to do something special but I have been so ill with the HG I didn't have strength for it.

 

[Redhead]

Today was my due date, and I to am pregnant again which I'm so grateful for, but I can't help but feel a sense of loss, I've mentioned this to noone, not even my husband, and I don't think he's remembered, which is OK because we are looking forward now.

Thinking of you and your lost baby today.

Its a strange feeling because you are sad for the baby you lost but if you hadnt had you wouldnt be pregnant with the baby you have now. I would have done anything to have changed things then but now I just want this baby to stay safe. I still cried when I realised it was my due date though. I hadnt cried about our loss since I found out I was pregnant again. Some how I feel like I need to remember the date because our baby deserves that. I wanted to do something special but I have been so ill with the HG I didn't have strength for it.

Thank you, sorry for your loss too. I was at work and kept busy most of the day, and even had to deal with one of my team members crying due to some work conflict and kept myself together.. I told my husband last night when we were in bed that it wouldve been the due date, and he was just like "oh" and carried on reading, I was a bit annoyed but I know he didnt have that attachment as it was so early on and obviously never had to deal with the physical side of things, but it wouldve been nice to have been asked how I was feeling or something, nevermind.

Like you its strange to feel sad, but feel so happy to have another little baby growing inside you, I feel so protective of it, but the first 3 months I almost pretended it wasnt happening and tried not to get attached as I couldnt bare to go through the heart break again. Im 25 weeks today, and im just doing everything I can to love and help this little baby grow but I still have the fear every single day, I check the toilet paper when I wipe and I panic when I dont feel it for a while. I dont think that fear will ever go away!

 

[BunnyN]

I told OH. He gave me a cuddle but then our two toddlers jumped on us and we didnt really have a chance to talk or anything. I havent had the chance to to worry much because I have been so sick I couldnt think about much else. Its the only good thing about beeing sick. Starting to to feel better now but 13 weeks so past the worst worry time.

 

[snowbee]

It must be hard for everyone to have forgotten the lost babies.

Noone knew about ours so therefore noone has forgotten as noone knew! I think I would find it easier to accept if I was pregnant again. As it is I've lost two babies who would now be 18 months old and a week old. So in theory we would have the two children we wanted so badly. Instead nothing. It is heartbreaking. I truly thought when we started ttc 4 years ago we would have two children by now, how wrong was I.