June mummies loss thread

[snowbee]

11 dpo for me now and another bfn. Not long to wait now and I should get my blood test results tomorrow (so if that shows I didn't ov then that will put a stop to the testing!).

Day off tomorrow and I'm going to take all my Christmas decorations down.

 

[russellmuscle]

Im taking mine down tomorrow. I usually do it before as its OHs birthday today, and Jacksons on the 9th but Ive been living in a bubble since being off work.

11dpo is early tbf. I got bfn for 8 days after. Be patient my love.

xxxx

 

[BunnyN]

I just got a nice dark positive OPK . I am CD 22, so it looks like we might be officially back to TTC. Guess what we will be doing after the kids go to bed . Really I should wait another couple of weeks and get my haemoglobin tested again but I really dont want to wait another cycle to start trying, especially when they are so long, so I think we are going to call it close enough.

 

[Eryinera]

Poo good luck hun x I tested today bfn. Not even an evap to get excited by lol

 

[BunnyN]

Aw sorry, do you know for sure when ov was?

 

[snowbee]

I'm out. Onto my second clomid cycle now.

How is everyone else doing?

 

[BunnyN]

Sorry snowbee, at least its good that your body is getting back to normal with cycles I guess?

I'm a bit lost with my cycle now. Going by OPKs I would have said I'm 2dpo now but I had a scan the day Î would have guessed Ov was and he said it looked like I will o in a few days time. Maybe the LH surge was just a false try and my body will have another go in a few days or I wont ov at all this cycle, or maybe he was off with his guess and I ov'd the next day or something? I dont know much about how acurate the scans are.

 

[snowbee]

The scans are usually fairly accurate as if you had ovd already the follicle would have burst. If he said he could see it and it was large I would think he was fairly accurate. Or maybe you are growing two this cycle!

I feel really rather sick today (and last night), it's been so long since I had a proper cycle I think I've forgotten what af is like!

 

[russellmuscle]

Ive not OPKd this cycle and have 0 clue where Im at apart from CD 12.

Had some cramp this morning. Usually 28d regular cycle but my ewcm has gone. I usually cd14.. Who knows.

Im smepping though. Hope I caught the bugger

xxxx

 

[BunnyN]

Hi girls! How are you all doing? Are you starting testing about now russellmuscle? Hoping you caught your egg!

I am CD36 with no sign of ov or af which is fustrating but at least my anemia is better so when I finally do ov we are okay to TTC again.

 

[LyndseyB]

Hi Bunny! Oh that sounds frustrating, do you just have to wait to see what happens? I'd be going out of my mind stuck in limbo.. sorry I'm sure that's not helped lol. Very glad that your anaemia is better

I'm still totally up and down, I think I had a chemical last week, had all the pg symptoms and had 4 faint positive tests but then AF showed 2 days later (which was 2 days late).

Going to try SMEP this month even though what we are doing seems to be working, and I've changed my diet quite drastically even though it wasn't bad to start with, I feel like a woman possessed tbh! Other than changing my lifestyle, I;m trying to take a relaxed approach so far as symptom spotting and recording etc goes, will just be keeping myself busy in the tww. I'm on CD7 today so start SMEP tomorrow and try to concentrate on other things.

I hope everyone is keeping well xx

 

[russellmuscle]

Oh goody another smepper. Ill update you in my thread.

2 bfps so far. And all is sounding good for penut butter.

Good luck hun.

xxxx

 

[BunnyN]

Sorry to hear about you chemical Lyndsey. How are you coping with that?

It is fustrating being in limbo. I'm glad I had the scan the day I thought I had ov'd because it showed I didn't. Otherwise I'd be driving myself crazy testing, though I've done a few ICs just incase they got it wrong, lol. I've not had a positive OPK since my scan, 2 weeks ago but no af either. I'm hoping maybe that means I'll still ov this cycle but there isnt a hint of it yet and I usually start getting darker lines for about 3 days before so unless I get a positive out of the blue it means I wouldnt be ovulating until CD40 at least which seems a bit crazy to me and maybe I just wont ovulate this cycle? Who knows, lol.

 

[Louloubelle84]

Around this time I 'should' be having my 20 week scan. I should be seeing my baby again and getting excited about telling my son whether he would be having a baby sister or brother. But life can be shit and in fact I'm not having a 20 week scan. Instead I sit here thinking about what should have been and it seems all around me people are falling pregnant and I'm not.

So for the next hour I will mostly be sulking about how it's not fair and wondering why it seems so hard for us to fall pregnant this time. And if one more friend or colleague tells me they are pregnant I might just scream.

(I'm not really some bitter old woman, I am genuinely happy for those around me announcing pregnancies but it's hard to take when we have been trying so long).

 

[snowbee]

Loulou I can understand your frustration, it is such a hard journey to make. This Jan marks what should be the first birthday of pregnancy number one and what should be the 20 week scan for pregnancy number two. Instead we are still waiting for a baby after more than three years. It makes you wonder why it has to be so difficult for some people and yet so easy for others. The constant happy announcements just add salt to the wound.

I'm CD18 and I think I'm oving now. This is clomid cycle two, so fingers crossed this will be the one.

 

[BunnyN]

Hugs. I would have been 20 weeks this week too.

 

[Louloubelle84]

Got my FX for you snowbee really praying its your turn. After my mc I never said 'why me' or 'it's not fair'. I made a point of not being like that and instead tried to focus on the positives in my life. Just sometimes it's so hard to not say to myself 'its not fair'.

Recently a colleague of mine (we used to be close friends but not so much these days) told me she was pregnant and i Was very happy for her as she has just got married etc. So the other day she sends me a photo of herself in a dress with a baby bump to show me how big she is for 13 weeks. She knows I had a mc and as we are not that close anymore it really pissed me off to be honest. Why would she do that?? If we were still good friends it would have been fine but she doesn't ever message me any more and then that out of the blue! Also my oh best mate said last month they are not having any more kids. Then the other day turns round and says his wife is 5 weeks pregnant. It's so hard not to get insanely jealous. God I sound terrible but I hope you all understand what I mean. I am happy for all these people but it makes it harder to bear sometimes. Like adding salt to the wound even though it's not intentional.

Hope you are OK Bunny. Xx

 

[LyndseyB]

Sorry to have ignored your question Bunny, I couldn't (and can't) bring myself to actually think about 'how I feel', the only way I can stay positive is to not think and even then I am still thinking too much, I think I can go 5 minutes at the most without thinking about it!! And I don't think I have had one single nights sleep where I haven't dreamt about babies or being pregnant, I don't think I've had any nightmares or dreams about the mc so I suppose I should be thankful for that.

I am the same with the pregnancy announcements, don't let yourselves feel bad for thinking like that, it is completely fine to think like that in our positions, we just can't voice it openly as that wouldn't come accross very well to anyone else..

I'm trying not to think about weeks and where id be but what I do find strange is that when I was pregnant time seemed to stand still when I wanted it to hurry up and now it seems to be flying past and I feel like it is running out and I'm never going to have the baby I deserve! In reality I know there is no rush, I have plenty of time but I don't want to wait, I've waited enough!!

Hugs to you all ladies, we will get there, I know we will it is just so hard to see at times xXx

 

[snowbee]

Hello ladies, how is everyone doing?

I can't believe how fast time is going. I've hit a bit of a wobble this week, I'm finding it so hard to be positive and carry on. I was holding on to a scrap of hope that this cycle would be the one but 13dpo and bfn so gutted.

 

[BunnyN]

Hi snowbee! Nice to hear from you. Its funny I was thinking of this thread today. I was wondering if anyone from the group is pregnant already. I havent been on much recently. Sorry you have not had your BFP this month. I am 8dpo so will be doing a bit of crazy testing in the next few days . Hope everyone else is okay.