***June Mummies 2016 Tri 3***

[Ttc1234]

Aww congrats stephylou and yorkslass-lovely pictures! I'm getting so excited awaiting my arrival now - 11 days u til due date lol x

 

[Maud]

Hmm, might have to try the hot water bottle tonoght. We were recommended it with our first but it didn't work for her, but I really don't like sleeping with a baby in my arms so think it's worth trying again this time.

 

[Blueclass]

Yorklass and stephylou what beautiful babies.

I'm combination feeding as summer has jaundice and we are having lots of latching problems. I think it's because of the bottle, she gets confused. My nipples are so sore I dread feeding time and actually feel like crying when feeding her. I understand if your having latching problems you may consider combination feeding but I'd seriously consider it. I'm seeing a consultant tomorrow and if that don't help she will be formula fed. When they don't latch right your body does not produce enough milk and if it's making you sore like myself it makes it worse as baby is more hungry and wants breast alot more. Iv got to the point where it's so unbelievable painful even the shower is a dreaded task as the water hitting my nipples hurts. I can't actually go on like this, it's not good for me or her. I'm also becoming more and more upset/frustrated that the one thing I should be able to do and I can't. Iv felt this way for a little while now and everytime I think or discuss it I break down and cry. I believe the bottle is to blame as she is confused how to latch now. I'm telling you this so you think about the choice you make. I don't want others to feel like this as I feel shit! I don't want to give formula but I don't produce enough just to express. Xx

 

[Phoenix85]

This is why I get into arguments online lol. I've tried to say it so often on forums, it really can make it so difficult to successfully BF.
My first baby went the same way when I introduced formula top ups at around 10 weeks which is why since then I've always tried to discourage people from introducing bottles or dummies early on.

I really hope you get some good help Blueclass.

Personally I would suggest getting a Supplementary Nursing System. You can hire them, or your Lactation Consultant may be able to get you one if you ask her. Then you could top up without bottles.
Your baby is young enough for you to turn this around if you were to persevere with it.

Also if you really don't want to use formula you could get donor breastmilk if it's something you'd be comfortable with. There's a facebook group called Human Milk 4 Human Babies.


Oh and also you could look into taking Fenugreek tablets to boost milk, there are also laction teas and cookies you can buy (or make) if you google it.
there's domperidone too but I'd try the natural supplements and lots of skin to skin first before resorting to that.

Good luck x

 

[Blueclass]

I have a electric breast pump which I use but it doesn't get much, as I don't have much to get out. I have started taking fenegreek tabs. If I can get the latch right and it don't hurt I may be able to continue but if I can't I won't suffer anymore. It will be heart breaking and just thinking about giving up hurts me but a happy mum is important for her and right now I'm utterly miserable. X

 

[lucylu87]

Congratulations to all on ur beautiful babies. And congratulations for persevering with breastfeeding. I hope to be able to do the same. Take care and don't let it worry you too much there are plenty of thriving formula fed babies around Xxx

 

[Pearl999]

Blueclass have you tried nipple shields? My lo won't latch on me without them, still having the occasional bottle of expressed but I have found medela nipple shields a god send, she doesn't get confused switching from me to bottle and avoids sore nipples (alittle bruised but not cracked!)
Eventually I'd like to get rid of them but at the moment the only way she will feed! X

 

[Maud]

Blueclass, have you tried showering with a bikini top on? With my first we had awful trouble with breastfeeding and that was the only way I could shower.

 

[YorksLass]

Sorry you're having such a hard time with it blueclass - I feel like it's a huge learning curve for both Rowan and I too... after it being wrong for 2 days and not knowing, and now being taught by 2 community mws, sometimes I feel like we're turning a corner but sometimes it's still very frustrating! I get my partner to help with the latch if he's there - I control the boob and hold the head and he helps by guiding her head and mouth over the nipple when he sees her open up properly - we've had the best latches that way. Make sure you're comfy too - I've made it a secondary use for my pregnancy pillow, moulding it as an arm support. I've gotten to the point where, yes, the nipples are very painful, but only for the first part of the feed, then it settles a bit.
Keep talking to mws and hvs, and I really hope you find your way to what you want to be doing. But most of all - don't feel guilty about anything! However things pan out, you're still providing for her. It's not like we can tell apart children according to whether they were bfed or ffed when they're older, I'm sure

 

[Blueclass]

Summer is 2 weeks today and iv decided iv done all I can with bf. I was up till 4.30 this morning with her using me as a dummy every time I got her of and in her cot she cried. She constantly wants feeding even tho she has formula aswell. I can't keep up with the demand of expressing the bottle feeding that then breast then bottle with formula. I'm going out today to buy a dummy as she needs something to comfort her and it can't be my boobs they hurt to much. Last night it didn't hurt and thought wow she got it but this morning we are back to it hurting. I had a big cry last night as I feel I can't provide the one thing I should be able to and feel crap l. Iv decided my mental health is more important as il be no good at all if I start to get depressed. I believe it would be alot easier if she never had a bottle but on the advice of hospital I did it and it's buggered everything. If I have another child I will try again but will not use bottles now iv experienced this. X

 

[Blueclass]

I'm hoping to only use the dummy as a bed time thing, I don't want to give her one as it is. I'm just desperate for some relief x

 

[Siskin]

Congratulations to everyone on their babies. I've been on here since the start of my pregnancy but haven't posted much lately. Feel like everyone has given birth except me! Booked for induction tomorrow after an unsuccessful sweep.

Can I ask a question of the posters whose babies have arrived? My mother and mother-in-law are both keen to see the baby ASAP once it's born. This is complicated by the fact that my mother lives several hours and a plane trip away, so would have to come and stay. My mother in law is closer, but still a 3 hour round trip. While we all get on, I wouldn't say I'm particularly close to either of them and my personal feeling is that I would rather just have me, my husband and the baby in the house for the first wee while until we get to grips with things. I think the mother and mother-in-law are a bit upset at this prospect and both are subtly pushing me to accept visitors earlier than I had planned.

Without having done this before, it's difficult to know how I'm going to feel about people coming and staying. What have others done? Did you want people around or have you limited visitors? I don't know what to tell them. It would be so much easier if they could just drop in for half an hour, but that's not an option.

 

[YorksLass]

Oh you're still hanging in there siskin! Hope to hear arrivals news soon
My advice would be, no matter how things look now, you can never know how you'll be feeling when the time comes. I'd said I was fine with both sets of grandparents dropping into hospital in visiting hours, but after the unexpected surgery I felt awful - immobile, fragile and out of it - and could have done with not having visitors at all. I think both sides decided not to hang around long when they saw the state of me anyway! You need to put you, partner and baby first, so if you're uncomfortable in any way with seeing people straightaway, let that be known and make sure you get your space. There's plenty of time for visits when you're ready

 

[YorksLass]

And blueclass - do not feel bad about your decision! You're being a mum to your little 'un, that's all that matters

 

[Phoenix85]

Congratulations to everyone on their babies. I've been on here since the start of my pregnancy but haven't posted much lately. Feel like everyone has given birth except me! Booked for induction tomorrow after an unsuccessful sweep.

Can I ask a question of the posters whose babies have arrived? My mother and mother-in-law are both keen to see the baby ASAP once it's born. This is complicated by the fact that my mother lives several hours and a plane trip away, so would have to come and stay. My mother in law is closer, but still a 3 hour round trip. While we all get on, I wouldn't say I'm particularly close to either of them and my personal feeling is that I would rather just have me, my husband and the baby in the house for the first wee while until we get to grips with things. I think the mother and mother-in-law are a bit upset at this prospect and both are subtly pushing me to accept visitors earlier than I had planned.

Without having done this before, it's difficult to know how I'm going to feel about people coming and staying. What have others done? Did you want people around or have you limited visitors? I don't know what to tell them. It would be so much easier if they could just drop in for half an hour, but that's not an option.

Oh no! Good luck for tomorrow, hope it's a speedy and easy labour for you

Do you have any other family near by who could occupy your mum & MIL a bit? Like give them something else to do (and see) other than hang around you?

The other thing you could do is consider staying in hospital for the full 3 days or as long as they will allow you, that way your mum & other family would be restricted to general visiting hours which is usually only an hour or two once or twice a day.

I think if it were me I'd tell my mum I was happy for her to come but would rather she wasn't staying with me at my house. Maybe if she'd be OK with checking in to a B&B or hotel instead it would take the pressure off you a bit. I think it'd drive me mad if my mum were around all the time.
My mum lives locally but thankfully still works part time and is always busy so shouldn't be round too much (I hope!).
When I had my first she would come round to my house and was constantly telling me what to do and what not to do.
Same with my second actually, mostly I ignored her with my second, but one thing that annoyed me was the MWs etc had said not to bath the baby for the first week or two and just wash hands and face with plain water once a day or when needed (like if they'd puked lol) and wash their bottom every nappy change, so that's what I'd been doing, but when my mum found out about 8 days in that I hadn't bathed her she practically forced me to bath the baby

anyway, can totally understand you not wanting them around too much.

Your MIL is probably easier to pacify as you could say that you have the MW coming or other things 'scheduled' so she can come on x day but only stay til x time.
Your mum will be harder to schedule with her being a plane journey away.

 

[Alrm198]

Congratulations to everyone on their babies. I've been on here since the start of my pregnancy but haven't posted much lately. Feel like everyone has given birth except me!

Nope I'm still waiting too! 40+3 at the moment, so about a week behind you Hope the induction goes well for you tomorrow - best of luck

I second what Phoenix has said. Might be best to ask if the family members wouldn't mind staying in a B&B in order to give you all a bit of space and adjust at your own pace to becoming a new family...

 

[Maud]

Siskin the best thing to do is to tell them that you (or ideally your OH) will contact them after baby is born to arrange visits as you don't know how long you will be in hospital or how you will be feeling.

When my first was born I was totally exhausted by the time I was discharged from hospital (literally couldn't even walk and had to be wheelchaired to the car!) and wanted no visitors. Combined with feeding issues and high levels of stress I just wanted to be left alone with OH and baby to get settled. We spent the first couple of days in bed doing lots of skin to skin to bond with baby and help feeding.

My OH dealt with all visitor requests and made sure people knew they couldn't stay very long so I didn't get overwhelmed. I certainly couldn't have handled any guests staying in the house, even my own mum.

Second time around has been totally different and we have been welcoming people around ( on the condition that they bring lunch for everyone ). You just won't know until after baby is here so better to be clear now that visits will have to be on your terms.

 

[Alrm198]

Morning ladies
Still waiting to meet our Lil Miss wall2: )
I've been getting mild period style cramps on and off since the weekend and my bump feels firmer than ever but still not a great deal going on in terms of her actually wanting out...
I'm at the stage now as well where I want to go out still but I don't want to go on my own in case my waters break!

 

[Siskin]

Thanks everyone. You've confirmed what I was thinking - I wasn't sure if I was being selfish. Heading to hospital soon, quite scared!

Alrm, I had the same worry about waters breaking, but decided it was unlikely and that even if it did happen, it wasn't my fault and people would either ignore me or be helpful. It's a good thing I did as otherwise I would've spent the last 2 weeks indoors, bored out of my mind! I wouldn't worry about it and if you want to go out, just go.

 

[Alrm198]

Thanks Siskin

I hope everything goes well for you today! Don't be scared, try to change it to excitement - you'll get to meet baby soon!