***July 2016 trimester 2***

[Unicorn]

I just think consideration needs to be given to even thinking that you don't want your child and that you love one child more than the other because of their gender let alone making a permanent record of it. I can't even imagine thinking that I would prefer one or the other knowing that I may be carrying the one I want least! And I'm sorry but I really don't think it's about not understanding 'gender disappointment', I think it's about considering the bigger picture of gender in the world and wanting our children to experience all the privileges of being born into an advanced, open minded culture, where you'd expect them to be cherished for being whoever they are, most of all by their parents.
Again, not meaning to criticise at all and please don't be offended, I just couldn't read posts like this without saying my bit xx

 

[Lou1103]

It is a shame as they are all lovely little blessings.

I'm over the moon we're having a boy but i must admit it seems a lot harder to choose names, anyone else having this issue?! X

 

[Phoenix85]

It is a shame as they are all lovely little blessings.

I'm over the moon we're having a boy but i must admit it seems a lot harder to choose names, anyone else having this issue?! X

I'm the opposite! lol

I prefer my boy's name to my chosen girl's name lol. That's half the reason I'd prefer a boy

I found it a lot easier to pick out boys names I like enough to use than girls names this time round.

 

[Lou1103]

Before i knew what we were having i liked loads, now i just feel a bit mehh about them! I do have one 'love' but my husband hates it
And now girls names are flying at my from everywhere and i have a few loves lol.. Would probably be the opposite if i was having a girl. At least we have lots of time!! Xxx

 

[Phoenix85]

I was like that. Before I got pregnant and for the last few years I was dead set on names I'd have if I had another baby.

But about a year ago I changed my mind on my boys name (had thought for several years now I'd have Jesse for a boy but changed my mind and have another name I prefer now, though still like Jesse, and Cody, and Nathaniel lol. )

With girls there was only one girls name I wanted for years now, but since getting pregnant I feel a bit 'meh' about it... I still love it as a name but I am finding it really hard to imagine having a child with that name... does that make sense?? lol
Like I can totally picture having a child called my chosen boys name, but not my chosen girl's name.

Yet in the first trimester I would have the occasional dream about having the baby in my arms, and in every single dream the baby was a girl. LOL.

I'm not finding out the gender though. When he or she is born I will have to see how I feel.

My last DD was nameless for 4 weeks as I couldn't settle on her name (I had two in mind but couldn't decide between them), so if this one is another girl she may go the same way.

 

[Lou1103]

That makes perfect sense. We agreed provisionally on a name (won't be a definite til we meet him) but since we agreed I really can't see it suiting my child lol

Oh i can imagine that being really stressful! My inlaws would nagging us to pick a name!!

It's such a huge commitment though, they have it forever (unless they change it) but it's a big deal!

 

[RoisinC]

I just think consideration needs to be given to even thinking that you don't want your child and that you love one child more than the other because of their gender let alone making a permanent record of it. I can't even imagine thinking that I would prefer one or the other knowing that I may be carrying the one I want least! And I'm sorry but I really don't think it's about not understanding 'gender disappointment', I think it's about considering the bigger picture of gender in the world and wanting our children to experience all the privileges of being born into an advanced, open minded culture, where you'd expect them to be cherished for being whoever they are, most of all by their parents.
Again, not meaning to criticise at all and please don't be offended, I just couldn't read posts like this without saying my bit xx

Gender disappointment is very misunderstood and these types of comments show exactly why. I chose to be honest and open about my feelings - many don't for good reasons. I needed time to feel sad, adjust to the new reality of a little boy, get over my hopes for a little girl and accept how I felt. I am glad I allowed myself to do this without guilt or shame which would have made things so much worse. Nobody can judge what kind of parent I will be or assume I won't cherish my child. We all have hopes and dreams about our families for many many reasons which others don't know or understand. Pregnancy and parenthood are hard and being kind and honest with yourself is half the battle. If others misunderstand this then so be it. I love this baby (and all my kids) unconditionally already and always will.

My heart breaks for anyone with fertility issues, and people who try month in month out in the face of disappointment are heroes in my book by the way xx

 

[Ttc1234]

We are team yellow and finding it much harder to find a boys name we both like. We have a girls name picked xx

 

[Phoenix85]

I agree. I was quite upset that my daughter was not a boy and even shed a few tears after the scan.
Of course I was still glad to be having a baby, but I grieved for the baby boy I wasn't going to have.

I soon got over it though and focused on my baby, and when she was born we did immediate skin to skin and I did attachment parenting with her Co sleeping breastfeeding full term, slings, the works, and we have a great relationship, wouldn't change her/it for the world.
Doesn't mean I don't get to want a baby boy still.

 

[SesameSeed]

Team yellow and really struggling with girls names. The one that we both like, my mum thinks belongs to a pet rabbit!!

 

[Purple]

what you guys dont understand is that we will not love the kid any less because they are not the gender that we wanted. i have a son and daughter and i love them equally. i will carry on loving my children equally - the gender that they are doesnt change the way that i feel about them (and i know this is the case for all women). some people are not fussed with what they have (they are the ones who dont understand) - but the ones who really want a certain gender and know that this is their last child cant help but to feel a certain way, i wouldnt call it disappointed but to be honest i felt angry (not upset). but i am over it now.

yes it is very hard coming up with a boy name, i promised my husband and kids that they could name the baby if it's a boy and i will name the girl but now that the time has come i want to be involved in the naming..

so far we have:

malachi
zachary
tyler
aiden
benjamin

hmm lets see, it's scary because names are such big deals.

 

[Purple]

Well spoken RosinC; i second everything that you said.

It's been less than 24hours and i have already come to terms with the fact and i am happy to be having a boy .. 2 boys and 1 girl is fine with me.

 

[Purple]

I agree. I was quite upset that my daughter was not a boy and even shed a few tears after the scan.
Of course I was still glad to be having a baby, but I grieved for the baby boy I wasn't going to have.

I soon got over it though and focused on my baby, and when she was born we did immediate skin to skin and I did attachment parenting with her Co sleeping breastfeeding full term, slings, the works, and we have a great relationship, wouldn't change her/it for the world.
Doesn't mean I don't get to want a baby boy still.

You hit the nail on the head!

At the end of the day, let's just thank God for our lil blessings. Roll on JULY! yeeeeey

 

[Redbootz]

Hey haven't been on here for a little bit. Lots to catch up on. Hope everyone had good news with scan appointments

I have had a stressful week and have been so run down. I fainted at the weekend and I have never been so scared, and have had a few dizzy spells after that. And now I have a possible throat infection and some odd mouth sore insode of cheek! I see the doctor tomorrow anyway so hopefully can reassure me that all will be ok. So today I am not working and other than walking the dog slowly I am going to be sitting on the couch watching catch up tv! I think I have just been so stressed lately and worrying about everything maybe it's just the stress causing all the issues and lack of sleep due to hip pain.

See we are talking about names. We didn't find out the gender as we want a surprise so have to pick girls and boys names. Girls names are easier and boys names are harder I like lots but OH isn't as keen on them. As long as we have a couple we can decide when baby is here.

Has anyone had there bump touched? I went to the dentist last week for my gums (another issue) and the receptionist commented on she thought I was tiny (I am short and little) but she then walked over and touched my tummy! I was shocked as she just did it and I didn't know what to say!!

 

[Unicorn]

I love the name Malachi But we're going for Hendrix this time and possibly Malachi if we are lucky enough to have another one
Oh no Redbootz, that sounds awful, I hope you get some rest and are feeling better soon. Hubby decorated the nursery this weekend and didn't want me in the house, so I spent the weekend at my parents and my mum had a cold. I have now woke up this morning with a sore throat and a cold, not how I wanted to spend my second week off work, but the nursery looks lovely
I've only had family touching my bump so far, which is fine, I quite like it xx

 

[Purple]

ah redboots i hope you feel 100% soon. yes boy names are so hard to choose!
haha! oh my gosh! i cant believe the lady you dont even know actually came and touched your bump! i am so shocked and she is so brave! wow.

well everyone just found out that i was pregnant last Friday so no one but OH and DD touch my bump. i hate being touched so much that this is one of the reasons that i dont want a baby shower.

 

[Charliebump3]

We was going to have Charlie for a boy but we are really struggling to come up with girls names! Felicity and olivia are top of the list at the moment. None of which are jumping out at me!

Sorry you have been feeling a bit run down Redbootz I hope you feel better soon xxx

 

[SesameSeed]

We like Freddie for a boy and Bonnie for a girl. Not really got any other names that we both agree on. Everyone I've mentioned it to hates the name Bonnie, but it hasn't put me off x

 

[lucylu87]

We have a few names , like Eliza, Elsie and Ruby. For a boy it would have been Luca or Harry xx

 

[Purple]

@CharlieBump, I like Olivia as it gives more nickname options. Felicity is also nice, i like the fact that it means "intense hapinness"

@SesameSeed, yes it's so hard agreeing on a name, i was getting really anxious last week, i feel better now as i think hubs will give in and let me choose. Both names are cute (freddie and bonnie) and will suit your kid, people will get used to it.

@Lucylu87, i love Elsie and Ruby alot. Eliza reminds me of "dolittle"

I hope you all have a nice week.