Diary of an IVFer

[Dippy]

Hi Helen,

Remember me from our days on the 30 and TTC board?! I just wanted to let you know that I have been reading your diary, so please keep on writing it. It's hard to know what to say, but just wanted you to know that I think you are doing great, stay positive and remember that the ultimate prize will be worth it in the end. I have got two friends who are getting ready for their first IVF consultations, they have no idea what to expect, so I have been able to relay some of your experiences so far. Thanks for that and best of luck.

 

[Helen]

Tuesday (continued)

Hi all. Thanks for your messages. It's been a pretty fraught day all in all. On top of all this going on, one of the new bosses came up to meet everyone so I've been looking after him all day. Just dropped him at the station, so I've been able to get off work early. Phew!

Hi Dippy. Yes of course I remember you! Amazed how far on you are already. Popped into the 3rd trimester for a quick check on the other 30+TTC lot the other day and discovered Hayley is well over due and Lindsay has a 2 month old! Blimey!! Where did all the time go! How are you getting on with things?

Finally spoke to a nurse around 3:30 ish. They can't fit us in this month as my consultant has so many hols. She is off now, back for 3 weeks and then off again. The nurse was v nice though and listened to my strange descriptions of bleeding that isn't really.

Discovered that the prescription we were given 27 days ago expires after 28 days. Could wait and get another one, but want to feel like doing something so off tomorrow to go and collect drugs. Means parting with yet more money......we've spent £3,883 so far on appointments and treatments. We're expecting the drugs to be another £500-1000. Going to some industrial park to collect them. Rung them up and they said nothing is marked on the outside. Makes me feel dodgy and shifty, but I suppose they do it to avoid being broken into. Will have to keep some or all of the drugs in the fridge at home until ready to use.

Have got an appointment with the nurse booked for the 17th August for us to have injection lessons plus a mock embryo transfer (because I've had laser surgery to my cervix in the past they need to check they will be able to transfer the embryos ok) and another scan (yup internal ) and to "sort my cycle out". Not quite sure what that means but no doubt will find out.

Nurse also booked me in for more dates just in case this is AF (still not convinced) and now original date of 23rd September is 2 weeks out. I bet my name is all over the diary now!!

H

xx

 

[Helen]

Wednesday
Went to collect drugs today. More time off work. Dropped prescription off on way in 1/2 hour late and then picked them up on way home left 3/4 hour early. Advantage with new bosses is that they aren't there so I'm not having to explain my absences to anyone.

HUGE box for drugs...

and lots of them. Some of which were ice packed and we are storing in the fridge till we're ready....

and others that don't need storing in fridge...

Overwhelming, but exciting. Worked out if have normalish cycle this month could be starting by 10th September.

H

xx

 

[Helen]

BTW that little lot cost over £700

H

xx

 

[HayleyB]

wow!!
Thats a big box, and a big price tag!!!
All be worth it in the end!!!

 

[TipsyDipsy]

Good luck hunny i'll be thinking of you and keeping my fingers crossed.
*crosses fingers*

 

[Helen]

Thursday

Actual price £721.08. Total spent so far £4,604.08.

Today is the first day that I have felt that if this doesn't work, I'm ready to take a break from TTC for a while to concentrate on us and our relationship. We're feeling the pressure of it all and getting crabby with each other. We're going away for August bank holiday and I'm really looking forward to spending some time with him. Just the two of us.

H

xx

 

[Helen]

Friday
Updated my ticker to reflect latest AF. 30ish days to go. Amazing and completely unreal. Doesn't feel like this is happening to me and to us.

It doesn't matter how much I know we can never conceive naturally, I still hope each month for a miracle and to get a BFP. I'd love to be one of those women who say... "well we were just about to start IVF and I happened to get pregnant". I know it can't happen, but you can't help fantasising.

Not sure if I put this earlier, but I told a friend when we were due to start and she said "Oooh a summer baby, how lovely!" and it completely took me by surprise. I haven't thought that far ahead, I can't. We're just taking one step at a time and dealing with each mini-milestone, the next one being our next appointment at the hospital on Thursday. I've arranged to work from home that day, don't really want people noticing how long I am away from my desk. Thankfully most people (the ones who don't know what we're up to) have stopped asking if I am ok. I think they must think something is seriously wrong given all the doctors appointments I've been having. I don't like lying to people, but why should I announce this personal and private thing to the world?

H

xx

 

[Wobbles]

I think I'm right but ... Are you set back another month now Helen? I hope I'm wrong!

 

[Helen]

Nope, hopefully 2 weeks earlier cos of early arrival of AF. Was going to be 23rd September (ish), but should now be around 10th September (ish) depending on AF.

 

[Helen]

Friday eve

Just been reading an infertility forum that I check on now and again and there were two things that freaked me out. Some of the women were talking about how much weight they put on during their IVF cycle. Anything from half a stone to 3 stone Yikes!!! I think you might find me in the TTC losing weight thread in a couple of months time if this doesn't work.

And.... one of the women had to take out her belly button bar for the egg collection procedure. I hadn't planned to take mine out either at all (during pregnancy) or unless I was so big and pregnant I didn't care any more. I don't want to take it out if I'm not and especially if I don't get PG in the end!!!

H

xx

 

[Rachael]

Hiya Helen

Wow recieving your booty box of drugs makes it feel very real doesn't it?

Helen, couldn't you get your Primary Care Trust to fund your drugs? - When I did IVF in 2004, although we paid privately for treatment, as we were eligible for NHS funding (But did not want to wait 3 years on the waiting list) we asked our GP about having our drugs funded.
Our GP then made a request on our behalf for funding and it was agreed, so we saved around £800 on drugs....Just thought it was something you could perhaps consider, as £800 is a lot of money. If you want any additional details, please feel free to PM me.

Lotsa

in advance Especially for the dreaded

 

[Rachael]

Hiya Helen

Some of the women were talking about how much weight they put on during their IVF cycle. Anything from half a stone to 3 stone

Don't worry too much Helen - I put on half a stone whilst I was cycling - But only because I completely changed my diet to make sure I was getting enough protein (good egg quality) which meant I increased my calorie intake considerably compared to normal (I was also a bit underweight at the time, so really needed to make an effort to eat properly - Oh those were the days!) The drugs themself had little effect on my weight.

Also I did not have to take my belly bar out for EC. I think the lady who had to take hers out must have had Egg Collection (EC) done under general anesthetic (I was sedated) then she would have had to remove any jewellery - As a rule, you will not be required to remove your belly bar for EC.

 

[HayleyB]

You're always welcome in the ttcers weight loss thread!!
but like rachael says you'll probably change your diet then change it back after you've had your bub!!

xox

 

[Helen]

Sunday

Had some great advice from Rachel on claiming back cost of drugs. THANK YOUUUUUUUU!!!!!

Definitely going to be ringing GP next week to see if we can get some funding.

Seven days since starting AF and still bleeding and still slowly. Sigh.... come on, come on!!! Hurry up next AF!!!!!!

H

xx

 

[Wobbles]

Hope you get it Helen x

 

[Helen]

Tuesday

Day 9 and still bleeding. Seriously fed up now, not least cos love life out of the window as a result. It just hasn't been heavy this month, just constant. Grrrrr

Had an email from a friend the other night that I haven't seen for a while to tell me that she is 15 weeks PG. Promptly burst into tears. OH wonderful as usual cuddling me and comforting me. Sort of expecting it because a mutual friend said a while back "Has she told you her good news?" Doh Is there a good way to tell a frustrated TTCer that you are PG? Probably not. Need to email her back, what do you say... "Congratulations, BTW we are starting IVF next month"?

Rung my oldest friend tonight. She's recently moved even further south so is probably about 2.5 hours away now. Haven't told her about IVF. She knows we were trying without any luck and hasn't asked me about things since around January. I don't know how to bring it up. Yet strangely told someone else at work yesterday. One of the other managers has just got back from paternity leave and I ended up blurting it all out to him. He was really sympathetic, but I'm left befuddled with myself for telling a relative stranger when I can't tell my nearest and dearest

Had a real panic yesterday when I got home. OH has been at home studying and we'd had a power cut. Not a big deal you might think, except that I have £700 worth of drugs sitting in the fridge needing to be kept at a constant temperature. OH thankfully had kept his eye on things. Power had only been off for an hour and temp hadn't risen about 6 degrees. Phew!!

Rung GP surgery today to find out about getting funding for drugs. Apparently there weren't any doctors in today and so have had to make an appointment for Thursday. Have hospital appointment at 11 and then that at 5:45. Never spent so much time knocking around waiting rooms.

H

xx

 

[Helen]

Wednesday

Day 10 and still bleeding although is easing off now, thank goodness. Had thought about ringing hospital and postponing my appointment, but decided that as it's easing I should still go. At least that way the subject will come up. It's a bit gruesome for the nurse faffing with the scan and the mock transfer but I bet they've seen worse.

Emailed that friend back last night and said congratulations, followed by a brief update on us. It was quite difficult making it not sound like sour grapes.

H

xx

 

[Wobbles]

Aww Helen it is very hard

Glad your meds were ok

 

[Helen]

Thursday

Went for appointment at hospital today with nurse. Told her about my dodgy cycle this month and that I was still bleeding on day 11! Bit of a shame but she couldn't do the mock embryo transfer (MET) because there is a risk of infection. We just have to wait for the bleeding to stop and then re-book that.

She decided that she would have to do a PG test just to be sure. Had to wee in this huge jug while she waiting outside. Thankfully as had to go with full bladder for the MET that wasn't a problem. Had that awful surge of excitement even though I knew from temps and bleeding that it couldn't be. Didn't have time to get disappointed though because there was so much else to do.

Had the injection practice for Prostap (the first injection I take to stop body doing it's own thing). OH has big fear of needles and just couldn't cope with it. I was quite brave and managed on practice go to stick this needle right into my tummy. Needle is about 1.5cm which doesn't seem that long until you are hovering it over your own body!

Then had an internal scan (Yup more stirrups! ) to check on lining of womb and ovaries. Apparently I had a cyst on the left one which seemed to have filled up with blood. Nothing to worry about apparently. Lining was quite thin, although that is to be expected because I am still bleeding.

Then we were off to another bit of hopsital for blood tests for sexual nasties (again!). The tests we had done at the sexual health clinic are only valid for 3 months and by the time we start it will be just past that. OH was not happy that someone would be sticking a needle in him!

Then this evening have been to GP to talk about drug funding. He said that our PCT is effectively bankrupt as it took on some huge debt when it was formed and that the chances of us getting funding were pretty slim. He offered to write a letter backing us to see if we can get something but that it would take months to get an answer on it.

After we got home he rang back to say that he'd looked into it and as we are on the NHS waiting list, we should also write a letter asking for funding to make it a two-pronged attack and see how we get on. Not really holding out much hope, but you never know.

H

xx