??May & June Mummies 2016??

[Siskin]

So glad I found this thread! It's great to read how everyone's getting on and selfishly I am relieved to discover that some of the difficulties that we've been having here have also been experienced by other people!

Yorkslass, I sympathise totally about the weight gain thing. Arthur (2.5 weeks) still hasn't regained his birth weight despite what seems like constant breastfeeding and expressed topups. He looks well to me, and has plenty of wet and dirty nappies, but I feel like some of the midwives and health visitors are hung up on the numbers. Every time I find out he's only gained a little bit of weight I feel like they're judging me for being a bad mother! (They're probably not, but my hormones are haywire and I feel a bit paranoid.) One midwife told me to express after each breastfeed - during the day he feeds every couple of hours; how on earth am I supposed to find time to do that?! When does Rowan get weighed again?

I am really struggling with the lack of sleep too. Arthur is very alert feeding frequently all day, and then would happily sleep long stretches at night (!) but as he's not up to his birthweight I am waking him through the night to feed him. It takes ages to get him awake enough to latch on, then he feeds pretty consistently for 20-25 minutes on the first breast and 10 minutes on the second. Then by the time he's been winded, nappy changed, clothes changed after posseting up milk, I feel like it's almost time for the next feed. When am I supposed to sleep??! I honestly don't know how people manage this stage without cracking up due to exhaustion. I got so tired at the weekend that he was crying for a feed and I could hardly rouse myself to open my bra. Someone tell me it gets easier!

 

[Siskin]

Also, I posted this on the original June mummies thread, not knowing this one was going here:

For the people who had vaginal deliveries - how has your recovery been? I had a straightforward delivery and a second degree tear, but 2.5 weeks on I'm housebound as I have pain in my pelvis/vagina if I stand for longer than 5 minutes, and a sensation that my insides are going to come out. The midwife and the GP both say that there's no prolapse and I should "give it time" but I'm going a bit crazy at being so physically restricted. Pre-pregnancy I was fairly fit and active. Has anyone experienced similar?? (I naively thought after a vaginal delivery I'd be up and about as normal immediately afterwards!!)

 

[Maud]

Hey Siskin. The pelvic floor takes a real battering during birth so it can take some time to feel normal again and if your MW and GP aren't worried then try not to (I know how hard that is- I had a 3rd degree last time and had all sorts of worries but all healed fine). Are you doing your pelvic floor exercises? Best advice is to do them as often as you can manage - during every feed is a good way to do them regularly as newborns feed so often.

I also had a second degree tear and part of it doesn't seem to be healing yet (split still visible and can feel the odd twinge down there and don't find it comfy sitting cross-legged). Have a feeling the midwife didn't stitch that bit as the rest has all healed up fine. Not sure how long it should take unstitched but I'm otherwise feeling good so just going to keep an eye on it.

On the breastfeeding it does definitely get easier. It just takes time for baby to get efficient at feeding and for your supply to build up. Is your OH being supportive (bringing you things, helping with nappy changing etc overnight)? How are you waking him? Have you tried stripping him to wake him and changing nappy between breasts? We had to wake to feed to start with with our first and hated it but it won't be forever so try to hang on in there x

 

[Phoenix85]

I am really struggling with the lack of sleep too. Arthur is very alert feeding frequently all day, and then would happily sleep long stretches at night (!)

I wish Phoenix was that way round! She's 6 days old today and for the last two nights has fed solidly from midnight to about 4.30am, THEN she sleeps all day... but I'm waking up at around 7/8am and have had to be up. I'm not good at napping in the day either.

I had a second degree tear but declined stitches. First 4 days I felt like that when stood up but felt better yesterday and normal today so going to attempt to go out tomorrow lol.

Oh, about expressing, I have most luck if I express from one side whilst she feeds from the other. It's a bit tricky at first getting baby latched and supported and getting the breastpump set up on the other one, but it's worth it when you pump more in less time.. maybe give it a try?

 

[Tigger87]

Have you seen these Haakaa breast pumps? They seem to be going a bit nuts over them on Facebook lately - one squeeze, get it on, and it stays and expresses whilst you feed? I don't have one, so not speaking from experience, but may be worth a try. Recommendation is not to get a cheap imitation because even though it says BPA free it may not be, and that can be very bad for you and for baby!

As far as weight gain issues, we've had the same. Luckily all my HCP have been amazing and supportive, my GP was the best. He thinks she was just born bigger than where she was "meant" to be. She's dropped from the 100th centile line to 75th now at 6w old last week - they've said another centile drop and we'll have to see peads and possibly blood tests to check for anything bad, but he thinks she's fine. Cardiac issues are a concern for a baby not gaining weight I think, but there's usually other signs. I've found the pressure to top up really interfered with us - I got massive oversupply (that may now be calming down!) that's then caused a milk bleb and my nipple is SO painful at the moment. I'm really having to give myself a talking to before feeding her on that side.

Is everyone else's house a total pigsty? Hubby does what he can, but between toddler taking out every toy he owns EVERY day, and me not getting the time to tidy up when madam won't be put down (I find cleaning/tidying in a sling quite difficult).

I'm genuinely at a point of thinking I'll just go back to work, put the kids in nursery, and let someone else deal with all the stress of looking after them all day. It makes me sound absolutely awful!!!

 

[Phoenix85]

Well my mum's been in a couple of times and cleaned up (no partner so just me so she's helped lol)
But she didn't do anything yesterday and today I washed up, wiped surfaces down, emptied & re loaded the dishwasher, cleaned the bathroom and vacuumed the living room.
Impressed with myself... I'm sure it won't last lol.
I am going to try to keep on top of it though.

And yes Phoenix was in the sling whilst I did it but her head kept lolling at a funny angle and I had to have one of the passes across her head so it didn't flop back when I leant over.

I've not attempted to wash or mop the floor with her yet... think I will have to have on of the older two hold her whilst I do that.

 

[Fruity01]

Hi ladies

Do you mind if I join you all? I am a June mummy but didn't post in the forum during my pregnancy. I've just stumbled across this one by chance as I been looking to see how people were getting On post birth but there was not much info in the June mummy's section. Hope everyone is doing well in their motherhood journeys.

Freya was born on 5th June at 38+1 weeks. I'm struggling at the moment with terrible sleep deprivation. I have a 5 week old who sleeps perfectly while feeding off me or when lying on my chest but as soon as she's put down she's fully awake and screaming to be picked back up. I've tried settling her with Her with a dummy (didn't want to do this) but she won't accept it and will only settle when comforting off my breast.

I also have a 14 month old which I feel totally guilty for as he has no choice but to play on his own most of the day due to baby being stuck on me. Today I made a decision to try feeding her a bit of formula milk which worked wonders as she settled for a couple of hours in her crib and this allowed me to play with my son and get some stuff done. I thought to myself righ that's it I'm getting all the bottles out and my prep machine but as I'm setting things up I felt guilty for giving up so easy so stopped what I was doing and left it at that.

She's been asleep since 4pm waking once to be bathed and fed and then a further feed at 10pm. Got her back to sleep in my arms took her upstairs and bam wide awake so I'm back downstairs typing this post waiting for her to go back off again.

Has anyone got any tips on how I can comfort baby with the putting her on my breast? I'm almost trying to force her to accept a dummy just to give me 5 mins or so but she isn't having any of it :-/

Fruity.

 

[Blueclass]

Hi my baby was born the 7th and very nearly.called freya. Our is the same you put her down and bam she is awake screaming to be picked up and on breast or chest. I have forced her to have a dummy which I didn't want but I need some time to myself. It does not work all the time and still when I put her down she wakes. She has formula and breast and formula seems to help. Don't feel bad about thinking about using formula. I did and still do a bit but I keep telling myself she needs a happy mummy and her bring on boob all day every day was not making me happy. Plus you have another child to look after and think about. All I would say is really think about it my milk has suffered alot and iv had to introduce more and more bottles as im not able to give her enough.
All you can do is your best and say you tried. Do what's best for you and your family. If you give a bottle of formula express so your not missing a feed I think that's where I got wrong. Plus I cant express as much as if lie as she wants to be on me all the time.

What slings does everyone have, I want to buy one so I can clean the house whilst she is on me. Plus I go away with hubby's family in a week or so and they steal my baby and I don't get cuddles so I want to have one so she is on me. X

 

[Fruity01]

Thanks blueclass.

I really liked the name Freya all through my pregnancy but hubby wasn't so keen so had to just wait till he come round to my way of thinking lol. If he stood his ground though the other names I liked was Edith and Florence (really liked the old fashioned names).

I guess my reluctance to give up comes from giving up so easily on my first child after having latching problems I gave in and put him on formula at two and half weeks old. He then had colic and reflux so it was a nightmare for months after that then. Now my newborn has reflux and already on medication for it.

Even though I've not had problems with my milk supply I've not managed to express much off due to baby being on me so often. However the times I have managed to get some off its been around 4-5 oz at a time so plenty for a feed. I'll be off to playgroup this morning so that will be used while there as I'm not comfortable BF in public even tho there is only 3 adults there and they are both my friends I would never BF in front of them.

I eventually got to bed last night and had a few hours sleep and then back up at 6am with toddler so I've decided I'm not going to fret over it and get myself back to a happy place again and if that means using formula then so be it. At the mo I'm using the ready made stuff till I get my prep machine all set up again and my thinking is the longer I delay setting it up the more likely I am in sticking to BF as buying the ready made stuff is expensive lol.

I've also bought a sling to help get about the house tried it out when it arrived on Saturday and baby fell asleep immediately in it. But I have to master putting it on as her face is covered when in it which isn't supposed to be. This is the one I bought. It's very comfy on as well.

http://www.naturalbabyshower.co.uk/products/boba-wrap-black

F.

 

[Blueclass]

Thanks il look now. Freya was my hubby's frav name and if we have another child and it's a girl that will be her name as I won the battle of names this time lol. Yes the longer you delay it the more likely you are to carry on, I also have premade stuff and powder. I don't bf or express in the night it's the day I tend to do it as I don't have the energy. I'm sure what ever you do will be the right choice so take it easy and try not to get to stressed about it. I bf in public and use a apron type thing. X

 

[Fruity01]

My sister offered me her apron to use for being out and about but I'm quite comfy just taking expressed milk with me. Tho I am sure if that wasn't enough or we were out longer than expected I'd do it where I was. I did BF while eating my dinner in John Lewis' restaurant the other week and felt quite liberated but I was tucked away in the corner and had pram to Shield me too lol.

I need to invest in a nursing top or two for that reason aswell instead of having to lift my tops up all the time.

 

[jenni16]

Good on you for persevering girls I'm still gutted that bfing didn't work out for us. I made it to two weeks, then just gave in to the pressure of getting Belle's weight up and put her exclusively onto formula. Next time, (if there is a next time!) I'm determined to do it properly, I've learnt so much from it this time.
I took Belle back to the doctors again yesterday for her constipation. He prescribed movicol and said to go back in a week if no better. Well she's not pooed since yesterday, she'd been going 3+ times a day while on the lactulose, but was really struggling to actually go as it was so hard bless her. I've also noticed that she doesn't seem to be taking as much milk the last few days. She was almost taking the full 5oz with each feed, now I'm lucky if she even has 3 and that's only 5 times a day :-/ the doctor said to give get cooled boiled water between feeds, but I don't want her filling up on water and not taking the milk so not sure what to do.
OH thinks there may be a blockage or twist in her bowel somewhere, it was something they were concerned about when we were readmitted for her weightloss but said all seemed fine after an xray. I don't know if we're just being paranoid or if we should be pushing for her to be properly looked at? I don't know :-/ xxx

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[Fruity01]

Jenni I understand how you feel when you gave in to pressure and changed to f/feeding. I done that on first baby Ashe refused to latch at times and I just couldn't cope. Looking back I regretted giving in but at the time it was best decision.

This time round I'm struggling coz newborn on constantly on me and I have a 14 month old to look after too and I don't think it's fair on him that I'm too occupied with her. I've used my last bit of expressed bm now and won't be expressing any more. I think the next step is to gradually change to formula as I need to get her off my boob from comforting as well as feeding. She's still refusing the dummy but I have to persever through this. She's dead tired now but refusing to go to sleep unless she's suckling on me.... Wonder who's gonna give in first!

Regarding constipation. Have you tried doing bicycle legs with the baby and also tummy massaging? That may help and when rubbing tummy area I think you need to do in a anti clockwise motion. May also be worth trying the formula for constipation too. First born was on the cow and gate for colic and constipation (he had colic) and I never had a problem with him going.

F.

 

[StephyLou]

So happy I found this thread, is lovely to read how everyone's getting on.

Thea is 3 weeks 3 days today and even though I was ready to quit at 6 days we've continued with breastfeeding but I tend to want to quit every evening around 7pm, I'm on the other end of the supply problem spectrum, I have a really fast let down so she tends to gulp and choke after 5 minutes, luckily its not a problem at night as being half asleep seems to give her more self control.

I feel guilty for wanting to quit because her weight gain is in the 75th percentile and HV is happy with her altertness ect, it's just difficult to see her struggling. I'm determined to see BFing out to 6 weeks when my HV promises me she'll be strong enough to control my let down a bit more.

I wondered if any second mums have experience with this, my concern is she's only getting the formilk because its overwhelming her and even though her poo's are the correct colour they are so watery, HV says she must be because she's putting on weight but i'm just not sure.

 

[jenni16]

I get that too, a big part of stopping bfing was the amount if time it took, I just felt too bad for my 22mo. At least with formula, we can sharr the load (when OH is feeling helpful that is!)
We've tried all that Fruity. We changed to aptamil colic and constipation and it seemed to make the problem worse but helped her reflux. We then went back on to regular milk, adding gaviscon but she still wasn't right so she ended up on a dairy free milk for cmpa/i - the same as her brother. We tried stopping the gaviscon as that is known to cause constipation, but the reflux was back so had to stick with it which is why she was prescribed lactulose in terms first place to try and counteract the effects of the gaviscon. I swear the doctor and hv are fed up of seeing us lol. She had one dose of movicol yesterday and has had one bigger poo of a slightly better consistency today, more paste - like than rabbit droppings (sorry tmi!).
Xxx

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[Maud]

.

I wondered if any second mums have experience with this, my concern is she's only getting the formilk because its overwhelming her and even though her poo's are the correct colour they are so watery, HV says she must be because she's putting on weight but i'm just not sure.

My milk came in fantastically second time around so that (combined with a better latch than my first) Kara only takes a few minutes to feed off each breast (doesn't stop her cluster feeding through the evening though). She does sometimes struggle with my let down and lets go and gets a face full of milk (and I get a soaking wet top!) I don't worry about foremilk/hindmilk tbh. Kara is clearly getting what she needs in those few minutes. All very different to my first who would feed for 45 minutes at a time!

 

[YorksLass]

Hey folks - hope you're all doing well!
Siskin, just spotted your post - Rowan is still being weighed, dammit! I just don't let it bother me though - to me, she's doing fine.I think she was so bloated with mucus and amniotic fluid when she was born that her initial weight was bollocks anyway! She spent the first week just bringing everything back.
She is a very lazy feeder though - I have to constantly poke and prod her while on the boob. Another problem now is that I have a painful lump in the left breast that I assume is a blocked duct, so taking tips from everywhere I can to try to get things flowing better, as I fear mastitis :-S

 

[YorksLass]

Ooh, and yes - I'm still getting that pelvic floor pain if walking too long too, 2nd degree tear also!

 

[Fruity01]

Awe jenni that sounds bad bless her little soul. I just remembered now on top of the colic and constipation formula and ranitidine (for reflux) my first was also on colief drops till I eventually weaned him off them from 5 months ready to be weaned onto solids. I think it was these drops that kept him regular too.

I also have a good flow of milk and Freya sometimes chokes on the fast let down. I was told about the foremilk and hind milk as Freya has had reflux issues too. HV told me to try expressing from the breast first and then put baby on to get the hind milk as its a fattier milk and may settle her more. This hasn't been done tho as I just don't have the time to express. Also, when baby has finished feeding HV said to put her back on if she is looking for the breast again within the hour as she would get th hind ill that way. So that's what I been doing leaving her feed which is never very long, I get her winded settle her and once she's ready she goes back on same breast for the remainder of the milk.

I've no issues with her weight either she's gaining well born a very painful 9lb 13oz and last weigh in was 11lb 5oz! Everyday I say the same.... That's it I'm giving up and going on formula yet I'm still waiting for that day to come lol. I gave two feeds of formula yesterday to Freya and it settled her lovely but I need her off the breast as she just isn't settling till she has had a suckle to send her to sleep.

F.

 

[jenni16]

It's just so frustrating trying to get it right for her luckily she's such a chilled baby so it doesn't seem to bother her too much.
She's got her first jabs today so not ready for this! She still seems so small. My mum has offered to have Oscar so I can concentrate on Belle for a bit, hoping she's not too bad. I think Oscar was pretty good and barely cried, but there's the new meningitis vaccine now which they say gives a fever.
Who else has had jabs already? How were your little ones? Xxx

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