May babies!!!! (or April, or June - everyone welcome as we were tri3 together!)

[Mrs_B1981]

Girls, I need ur help/advice pls.

I'm not coping at all. As I type this I've had a total of an hours rest and Sam is yet again playing up. Everything is on Sams terms! I've tried building a routine but he won't allow it. He hardly sleeps in the day, settles for a max of 2 hours @ night if I'm lucky. I've seen u guys posting about babies sleeping for 3,4 hours and more and wonder where I'm going wrong. I'm starting to feel like a terrible mother.

I'm also starting to resent my OH. He works 14 hour shifts so I get minimal support and input from him. My family live 200 miles away and I'm feeling very isolated. I know my OH has no choice in working these hours but I wish when he came home he'd have some input, like take Sam for a bit. He'll cuddle him, then Sam will cry, and I get him back to deal with him. I just want some help!

I also really want to join groups and meet other mums, but I'm so tired all the time that I struggle to get motivated. Managing the journey back to the Midlands was what I thought a turning point in building my confidence in doing stuff with Sam, but my confidence has gone again and I'm back to staring at my 4 walls.

Any tips or advice on how to improve things would be greatly appreciated xxx

 

[catty1]

Mrs-B - I'm sorry to hear you're so tired. I don't have much in the way of advice but a friend of mine had a baby back in December that just wouldn't sleep. I'm pleased to say that now she is sleeping through the night and was much more settled from about 6-8 weeks so there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Do you get out during the day? Apparently babies who are exposed to sunlight between 12-4pm sleep better as it helps thier bodies make the sleep hormone (not exactly sure of the science but it was something like that). I have noticed that Owen sleeps better on days when we have been to groups and met people, I think it tires him out. Try to get out, even if you're really tired you will feel better for having other mums to talk to. My family live far away too and I know how you feel about being isolated and it really dosn't help.

You're definetly NOT a terrible mother. Sam obviously loves you so much he fights sleep so he can have more cuddles with you.

x

 

[riotfox]

Pleased Rhian is doing well, Midnight!!

Treeze, Lucas does that stiff as an ironing board thing sometimes. Think it is when he has really bad trapped wind.

Can't Stop, sounds like Lily is doing very well with her weight. Hope you get those exam papers marked soon.

Mrs B, Lucas doesn't sleep much during the day. He tends to sleep maximum of 2 hour periods in the daytime and is awake a lot. Also, I posted that he has only been waking up once between 10pm and 6am but last night he had different ideas (made me eat my words!!). You are not a terrible mother btw!! Could Sam be going through a growth spurt at 4 weeks and making him unsettled? Will your family come and see you? I think it would be good for you to go to some groups and meet some other mums even if you don't feel motivated. Force yourself to go because I'm sure you will be fine once you get there and you will enjoy it. I'm hoping to go to some next week although I am nervous about it. I would also talk to your OH about how you are feeling and ask him to help out a bit more with Sam.

xx

 

[treeze]

cantstop - i put the dentinox in her milk and she drinks it no probs...

be back on later to catch up properly - busy morning today josie has her 1st visit to school and all the parents have a meeting.. best start getting us 3 girls ready!

 

[Roo3]

Mrs B am sorry to hear you're finding things hard going at the moment. Jake doesn't sleep very much during the day, he probably naps for a mximum of 3 hours all day long so it makes the days very tiring.
My OH has also been out alot during the week (he works from home but has had to spend most of this week away from home and it looks as though this will continue for the next few weeks.) He's been leaving the house at 6ish in the morning and not getting home til 9pm most nights and even had to spend Sunday and Monday nights away so I have some idea of how you are feeling. When he did get home, he would just go straight on the internet and come up with excuses as to why he couldn't give Jake a cuddle. All I suggest is that you talk it through with your OH, thats what we did and now OH takes Jake from me when I need him to when he gets home.
I haven't got a lot of confidence either when it comes to taking Jake out. I am fine when it comes to just popping him in the car and taking him to my Dads, friends, OH parents and work but the thought of having to take him round the supermarket or in to town fills me with dread so we haven't even attempted it yet. In fact, if I have any shopping to do I ask someone to come and sit with him so I can go out if OH isn't around. Has anyone got any tips on getting out and about with a baby? I would get so embarrased if he started screaming in the middle of Morrisons!!
I really hope you start to feel better soon Mrs B.
We've had a quiet day so far today, and Jake is currently napping in his swing and I'm waiting for OH to get in so I can go and indulge in some retail therapy and me time as OH is out all weekend again so I want an hour or two to myself this afternoon!

 

[Cantstop]

MrsB - my DH also does really long shifts, he does night shifts so is out all night then comes in and sleeps all day, only getting up in time to get himself ready for work so is absolutely NO help when at work so I understand how you're feeling in that way. I get annoyed because he moans about being tired etc, but really he's still getting a solid 8 hour sleep when I obviously never get that. And he resents that he has to work while I'm off with the baby (especially when she's having a bad day, like today, it'd be much easier to be at work). I also know where you're coming from with the confidence thing, it took me until very recently to be comfortable putting her in and out the car seat and getting the car seat in and out of the (3 door!) car, and the buggy is really hard to collapse and I'm wary of taking her out in it as once she screamed all the way home from our walk and it really knocked my confidence.

Sleepwise, it's totally hit and miss with Lily at the moment, I got a bit ahead of myself yesterday as last night she only slept for two one hour periods and today she's just went to sleep at half 5 - she must be shattered so don't know what's up with her. It makes everything that much harder when you're tired on top and you don't get any time to yourself - and I've got help in my Nana etc, so I can only imagine how hard it must be with no relief available. These first few weeks can't last forever though and we'll miss them when they're gone!

If you have a list of what possible groups you could go to, just see how you feel each day and eventually you'll make it to one. Going to one will probably give you a boost to get to others too. I haven't really got any advice other than the only way to get confidence doing something is to just do it. If it doesn't go well, come on here and have a moan about it and then try again - we'll all get it cracked eventually. I'm going to take my own advice too and get out of this house! Good luck with it, and always remember you're not a terrible mother, all babies are different and some are just easier than others.

 

[Cantstop]

Thanks Treeze, have stuck it in some expressed milk to ambush her with later. She's been terrible all last night and most of today and I can only think it's wind so hopefully that'll make her feel a bit better when I get that down her. She is blissfully sleeping now (still squawking away though, so noisy) for the first time since yesterday.

And now, back to the papers... Only 160 left now!

 

[treeze]

mrs b - it's hard when you're family are far away - my dad and stepmum are only 50 miles away and even that seems too far... i would love to be 5 min down the road from them as they would happily have the kids every single day... you did so well with your trip to see your family.. hope you feel better soon x x x

had a busy day today.. Josie had her first visit to meet her new teacher as she starts school in september... pleased to say she loved it and is in the same class as her little best friend from nursery. then went to Asda as i got paid today and they had a masssive sale in george so got a few bits for us 3 girls!! They had josie's school summer dresses reduced to £2 and because I work at Asda i get 10% discount so they were £1.80.. got 2 in each size up to age 8-9 lol!!!

going to post this in the feeding section but thought i may aswell put it her too..... Does anyone have any experience of C & G COMFORT milk? I put Emma on it because she was very colicky.. screaming, crying, going stiff and red etc for a good few hours a day. i also tried infacol and then dentinox but she still seems to be doing it and suffering with wind/tummy pains.. it is definately something to do with digestion and quite often she has a massive poo and is then much better but I don't know if switching to COMFORT actually helped or not... now her poos are quite runny and yellowy/ green and really stink.. i don't remember Josies poos being this smelly!! I just don't know now what has/hasn't worked (changing to comfort / dentinox etc) and whether i should just change completely to something like Aptamil and start all over again to see if that helps... i'm a bit worried that the comfort is making her poo bit too runny and might be not even be helping her... is it ok to switch milk again... she started off on normal cow and gate, then comfort?

 

[Mrs_B1981]

Thank you for your advice and support girls. Sam obviously realised he'd made mummy very tired and settled for the first time last night. Asleep at 11, feed at 3 then asleep again till just now! He did do the most humungous burp ever before bed, I've never heard anything like it! I think that may have helped! Wonder if he'll setttle again 2nite?

Catty, I took Sam for a walk yesterday and sat him in the garden, maybe that helped as well.

Its reassuring to hear that other peoples OH are like mine. I'm going to talk to him 2moro about it all. He's very sensitive and I don't want to hurt him but I also want him to understand I need more support! Just because I'm not at work doesn't mean I'm having it easy at home!

On a lighter note, I've just popped Sam on our bed, opened his nappy for a poop check, and he pee'd all over me and the bed! Little bugger! I only changed the sheets yesterday!

 

[Mrs_B1981]

Cantstop-im exactly the same as you. Doing anything involving buggies fills me with dread! I notice ur in Sunderland? I lived in South Tyneside till last year, shame I moved, we could of battled with our buggies 2gether!

 

[smess26]

Treeze hey hun comfort milk does make the poo.runny and.green and.v.v.smelly. it.does.say on the.box its normal to be green.
How.is she on it??
X x

 

[smess26]

Also how long have you been on comfort for have you tried Colief. It's expensive.but Defo works x x

 

[treeze]

ahw thanks smess.. been on it for nearly 3 weeks now -

today we (me and hubby) made the decision to swap completely to aptamil.. to be honest we tried so many things.. milk, dentinox, infacol, rocking, swinging etc we don't know what worked and what didn't - add to that the fact we only just getting to know her and it might be that we getting "better" at comforting her and who knows what has made her better or worse over the last few weeks? Don't know if you know what i mean or not?

so decided today - switch to a different milk completely ... no infacol.. no dentinox and just see how she goes... so far she had aptimil at 2pm and 6pm and been asleep since!!!!

ps. i never heard of colief what's that?

 

[Roo3]

Had a quiet day yesterday. Jake and I went to my Dad's for our usual Saturday morning fry up, then we went to sit at my Mum's grave for a while. Jake slept for most of yesterday afternoon allowing me to rest and get some bits done.

Jake behaved very well last night, he went to sleep at about 10pm, and didn't wake up till 3 for his feed. He then slept til 6.45am so I feel quite rested today. Before he went to bed we were watching the music channels and singing Take That songs to him for about an hour so maybe that wore him out!

I am going to take him out for a walk in his buggy this afternoon as we need to get some bits from the co-op. This will be my first time taking him in his buggy on my own and our first trip to the supermarket so I'll see how he gets on!

I hope he's as well behaved tonight as he was last night as I need a good nights sleep tonight so I'm nice and fresh for Take That tomorrrow night! Woo Hoo!!!

 

[bethx]

My hubby does long shifts too Its tiring but I understand why he cant help much as hes knackered himself most the time. Mrs B its definaetly best to get out a bit, even if you feel too tired i find sitting in the house just makes you feel more tired and miserable ! Glad Lo slept a bit better for you and hope he keeps it up

Alex went to sleep at 10.30 last night woke up at 11 and fed for 20 minutes then went back down and slept till 5 am!! went back to sleep and got up at 6.30.. wasnt really happy with waking up at 6.30 but going nearly 6 hours is defo a record for us so i was still a very happy mummy ...

 

[cherelle]

I havent really been online much lately - been out and about so much i hate sitting in the house!

Mrs B i know what its like having all family far away - i live in Cardiff and all my cloe friends and family are back home in Nottingham. Ive had people over to visit but i do get lonely - most of my cardiff friends are just people i used to go on nights out with so i dont really see them now. Im getting the train back home in a couple of weeks - i hope its not too bad with the buggy etc!

Ifan pretty much needs feeding every 2 hours at the moment its really tiring especially at night. Hes having breast feeds and hungry baby forumla - about 4oz a time and then he wont drink anymore but hes hungry again no more than 2 hours later!! I hope it doesnt last.

Been out loads this week - to group, walking round the lakes, for lunch with friends and to farmers market for breakfast and into town shopping with OH today. I love my travel system and Ifan loves getting out too! x

 

[Mrs_B1981]

Cherelle, my family are in Burton on Trent, good old East Midlands, lol!

I really want to ask 2 random questions:

1) What are u guys dressing your little ones in at night? Its quite muggy here so I've been doing sleep suit with no vest, but should he just have a vest? I'm so paranoid he'll overheat!

2) Do u guys give your LO's water? I've heard u should and I've also heard u shouldn't. Again, paranoid I'll dehydrate him!

I don't see the HV again till Sams 3 month check, so I thought I'd ask u guys!

Sam is sleeping a bit better, not as good as the other night but hey ho! OH and I chatted and he is going to help more and not panic if Sam starts screaming at him!. I'm also venturing out to groups this week, and then up home on Saturday so got a busy week to keep us occupied

 

[pinkymum]

Cherelle, my family are in Burton on Trent, good old East Midlands, lol!

I really want to ask 2 random questions:

1) What are u guys dressing your little ones in at night? Its quite muggy here so I've been doing sleep suit with no vest, but should he just have a vest? I'm so paranoid he'll overheat!

2) Do u guys give your LO's water? I've heard u should and I've also heard u shouldn't. Again, paranoid I'll dehydrate him!

I don't see the HV again till Sams 3 month check, so I thought I'd ask u guys!

Sam is sleeping a bit better, not as good as the other night but hey ho! OH and I chatted and he is going to help more and not panic if Sam starts screaming at him!. I'm also venturing out to groups this week, and then up home on Saturday so got a busy week to keep us occupied

I'll answer the 2 questions first well from my experience only lol.

Last night I just put Emily in a sleepsuit and no vest, later in the afternoon though I stripped her down to her vest and just left her like that till I bedtime and just used the sleepsuit. Aberdeen is hardly ever as warm as it has been this weekend. I find it difficult to know how much layers because the weather is so changeable.
Second question - I've been told by MW's and hv's that I can give her cooled boiled water. Especially in this heat because they might just be really thirsty. Also other mums on here have said they do it too. Emily only takes a tiny bit - not a fan of water lol.

Want to apologise for not being on, it's easier to keep up on our fb group but I also like to keep up with other members in the girlies room. There's no way I'll manage to catch up on this thread.
Emily seems to be doing well, we have a loose routine. She slept in her basket in her own room last night. That wasn't planned but I have a new bed and the mattress doesn't come till this morning. Anyway I had to sleep on my sofa, she doesn't settled well downstairs at night so she went up in her own room about 8. I checked on her at half 3 because she was making her funny noises but she was still asleep. She then didn't wake for a feed till 5.45. And now she's back sleeping in her bouncy chair downstairs with me
I am a bit concerned as the last 3 days all her poos have been very runny - she farts and she gets the runs. Happened again this morning. Got hv tomorrow so will speak to her about it.

Will try and keep up more girls, just busy being a mum, keeping up with the house work and going out. And about. Was in tears the other night because I get lonely in the evenings but that's another story

That's her last night in her own room

 

[riotfox]

Roo good luck with your first visit to the supermarket with him!! I'm sure he will be good as gold.

Beth pleased Alex is sleeping better. 6 hours sounds good.

Mrs B, I'm pleased you have got a busy week planned to keep you occupied. I love my afternoon walks to get some fresh air!! I tried giving Lucas some cooled boiled water one day when it was very hot but he didn't really take to it. When it's a hot night I just put him in a vest and sleepsuit and leave the covers off. If it's really hot I will just put him in his vest and cover his legs with a light sheet.

Cherelle, it sounds like you have been very busy. Lucas has had days where he has wanted to be fed every couple of hours.

Pinkymum, it sounds like Emily is doing very well with her sleeping. She's looking so grown up now. I agree that you are kept very busy being a mum.

Well I have a busier week this week. Tomorrow I am going to go to my first baby group so I hope the people are friendly. On Wednesday he goes to be weighed and then I am taking him into school to show everybody. Don't think I will let my class put their snotty hands on him lol. They can just look while I hold him.

What is everybody up to this week? How are we all feeling?

xx

 

[cherelle]

Well Ifan seems to have been wearing less at night than your guys little ones! He always wakes up hot and sweaty so he only ever wears a vest or if i swaddle him he just wears a nappy and i use a thin sheet to swaddle.

Ive never given him water either, i did read somewhere it can fill them up so they dont know when theyre hungry? Theres probably loads of conflicting advice though.

Ifan was weighed today and hes gone from 8lbs9 last week to 9lbs15 today! No wonder hes been fedding every 2 hours!! x