June mummies loss thread

[MrsS15]

I'm not a june loss mummy but just wanted to say I'm so sorry for all you ladies who have lost their little angels I hope everyone gets their rainbow's soon xx

 

[snowbee]

I think I've decided to get a ring with the birthstones the babies we have lost should have had. I've been a bit negative and wondered if I should have something I can add to but I've not seen anything else I like and I'm allergic to most metals so finding something has been very difficult.

Is anyone else doing anything to commemorate your loss?

Longer term we are going to plant a tree for each but now is not the right time for that.

 

[Eryinera]

Currently I'm just going to get a few floating charm pendants and Pandora beads on a cord and create my own necklace once I've had my rainbow I'm getting a tattoo. I want a matching tat with oh as well I've got a few ideas. The tat with oh are two rodes entwined I may have a big open flower for my son (hopefully another for my rainbow) and closed buds for my losses.
Or I want a nice gothic angel with maybe multiple pairs of wings for each loss holding a rainbow. Or some baby dragons in each birthstone colour flying over a rainbow . I just need to find a tattooist I trust with such an important tat!

 

[LyndseyB]

Snowbee that is such a lovely idea. I was looking at charms earlier thinking I'd either get wings or a star for the bracelet I wear all the time but didn't find any I really liked.

A ring is such a good idea, pandora do stacking rings of you were wanting more than one birth stone, and then it would be easy to add to (which I pray you never have to do). Thanks for the idea as I think that's what I will do xx

 

[kanga86]

Sorry to see you all in here, but glad to see you are all supporting each other. I was part of a group of ladies in here in 2011 when I had my mmc and it really got me through the horrible time we were all going through. I plan on getting a tattoo for all my babies, so 4 sets of footprints and 1 set will have wings. xx

 

[BunnyN]

I was wearing a necklace with a heart pendant when DD was born. I am wearing it in all her newborn pics. OH bought me another one when DS was born which I wore at his birth. We decided to get a heart pendant to remember this baby. We looked on Friday after our scan but didn't find anything we liked. We went out yesterday to find one. Leaving the house I was quite crampy and going down stairs was uncomfortable. We went to two shops and found a heart pendant I love. It is simple and small but it feels like me. I put it on in the shop and while hubby was paying I started feeling a very heavy feeling down there and whispered to hubby we had to leave quick. That is were the afternoon started to get a bit exciting. It got a bit scary by the evening but everything is okay now and the worst is over. Physically it was a challenge but emotionally it wasn't actually as bad as I expected. l am sure sadness will come and go but I feel calm now and like we have had some closure. I will tell, the whole story later when I get the chance.

 

[Eryinera]

Aww hun I'm glad the worst is over x x emotions will be on a rollercoaster for a long time now I'm sure x

 

[russellmuscle]

I am shocked at how un-phased I feel? I know we all deal with things differently. Having a loss definitely hurt me, but not like to the point I cried my eyes out. It has left me with an emptiness, a void which obviously wont be fully replaced but I am longing for a baby now that I have lost. I do think losing baby before finding out I was pregnant and the fact I was actively not trying with a coil in kind of skewed my loss process I guess.

Sometimes I don't get me? I wonder if I have a wee black piece of coal instead of a heart..

xxxx

 

[Eryinera]

I feel the same. But I tried for the baby and I knew I was pregnant. I guess I've had tri 1 spoiled so many times I just expect it to fail. I told everyone I'm not courier myself as preg until Ive seen the hb after 7 weeks ideally after 9. I think if I ever do make it to tri 2 I think in a weird way I'll find that will unlock so much. But I dunno. I know how you feel though.

 

[LyndseyB]

Bunny I am so glad that bit is now over for you, the pendants sound lovely and will always be a loving reminder. I have decided I love the Pandora moonstone ring and will be able to wear it everyday so will buy that as soon as I get near the shop (easiest one to get to is about 15 miles away).

Russelmussel please don't feel like that, there is nothing wrong with you honey, I find it very difficult to understand myself as well and we all react differently and have different emotions, of course you were going to feel different losing before you even knew it was there, I don't think there is anything wrong with the way you feel.

I had my 2nd scan this morning which was basically to confirm that they were right last week (it's a regulation apparently), which of course they were. It has been at least 5 weeks since my baby stopped growing and I've not had any big bleeds or clots so I have booked in for medical management tomorrow morning, at least now I know when it will happen and I can start to put this behind me and look to the future.

This baby was very much planned but over the last week I wasn't sure I wanted to ttc right away, I was struggling to deal with my emotions and believe that this was really happening. I am feeling a lot more head strong now and have decided I want to be a mummy as soon as possible so we will ttc as soon as we can (hubby was already set on trying right away).
Those ladies who have been through this before, did you find sex difficult after mc? I'm already worrying that I will become emotional and not be able to enjoy it.

I hope you are all doing ok today, sending lots of love to each of you xx

 

[snowbee]

Good luck for tomorrow Lyndsey, hope it all goes well. Personally I've not had any difficulty with sex post mc, occasionally afterwards we have been a bit sad that there isn't a baby 'in there' anymore or wondered how long my stupid body will take to kick out another egg and if I'll be able to keep one in the next time. I'm desperate to be pg again but I know if I do it will be so hard to believe there will actually be a baby at the end. How is everyones ohs? Mine is still really upset about it all, he has been crying today over it and is generally quite depressed and I feel like shit for making him feel this way.

 

[BunnyN]

I am shocked at how un-phased I feel? I know we all deal with things differently. Having a loss definitely hurt me, but not like to the point I cried my eyes out. It has left me with an emptiness, a void which obviously wont be fully replaced but I am longing for a baby now that I have lost. I do think losing baby before finding out I was pregnant and the fact I was actively not trying with a coil in kind of skewed my loss process I guess.

Sometimes I don't get me? I wonder if I have a wee black piece of coal instead of a heart..

xxxx

Our first pregnancy was not planned and also lost it before I was sure I was pregnant. It was a very early loss so physically was no big deal but really messed with my head. This time has been far worse physically but in some ways the grieving process has been simpler. Of course we are still grieving but at least we know were we are coming from if that makes sense.

Yesterday got scary. I lost a lot of blood and lost consciousness. Was going to rush to hospital but there were complications with the ambulances and the hospital we wanted to go to (long story) but by the time it was sorted I was stable and our MW friend was there so we decided to stay at home. I am on bed rest now.

 

[Eryinera]

Oh gosh hun I hope you are all right x x {{hugs}}

 

[russellmuscle]

BunnyN

Take care of yourself and rest up! I hope your okay!!

xxxx

 

[BunnyN]

Yesterday and the night went well so I think things are going to be fine now. Once I am good enough to walk I'm going to get a scan, maybe today or tomorrow.

Lyndsey- I hope the next days go okay for you. It must be really hard to wait so long. My experience was a bit dramatic but at least it was over quickly. In a lot of ways the waiting for it to happen part was worse than the actual thing for me despite it not going very smoothly. If you don't mind I'd be interested to know your experience with medical management. I was so desperate to do it naturally this time but after how things went if we ever have to go through it again maybe I need to consider other options. As far as sex goes my plan is not to see the first times as TTC, just try and enjoy being close. I do think I might find it a bit emotional though.

 

[Eryinera]

That's how Im going to look at dtd or rather in my case I've been so bloody horny but not been able to do owt I think the first time will be seconds long and scratching an itch lmao after that I'll be just taking it easy reconnecting and things. I had a bit of hope when we were watching the lady on home and away go through her mc and oh told her to go for blood testin so I think he is still thinking we should try again. Interestingly home and away (or neighbours whichever) did a mc story last time I had a mc too.

 

[platypus]

good luck for today Lyndsey and glad you are on the mend Bunny - sounds scary.

I had medical management with my 2nd mc. it was a mmc detected at 12 weeks but baby had stopped growing at 8+2.

I went in in the morning and took the tablets, it took a while for them to work but by mid afternoon I started cramping. in my case it felt like a labour (well how I think one goes since i'm yet to get my take home baby). I remember sitting on a chair at the computer trying to distract myself and felt a whooss of water come out. it soaked my maternity pad completely but i'm guessing that was my waters breaking. the cramps then rammed up and the bleeding started, it was heavy for me. I passed a few large clots in the toilet and the cramping and the bleeding slowed right down and the cramping stopped. I assumed then that it was over so went for a shower, but when there a large clot came out which really scared me as I wasn't expecting it. it was baby I then bled or a further week and felt like my abs had done a zillion sit ups. By evening I went to bed and it was completed.

 

[Eryinera]

Hope all went well today lyndsey x x

 

[BunnyN]

Thanks for sharing platypus. I'm feeling like I did a zillion sit ups today, I'm glad to know its normal.

 

[Eryinera]

My bleeding has started to slow today so that's good news I guess wish the hpt was a bfn though. How is everyone else feeling today?