Hey everyone- things just keep getting better and better, had a few crises with friends I had to deal with and then my own drama decided to kick off haha
Didn't get a chance to catch up but hope everyone is well. Im absolutely exhausted, physically and mentally and not even sure how I'm feeling about it all.
Please excuse the massive long message and feel free to skip!
Drama hit last night and the whole house descended into chaos. This time not my mum. I don't know if I mentioned it here before but my stepdad is a waste of space who grumps around, complains about everything and basically just sits awkwardly in the kitchen every night staring at people who try to eat after he comes home from work and starts sucking down beers. He has no friends, never goes anywhere and at this point I'm certain he's just waiting for death cuz he isn't even making any kind of effort to do anything with his life. He's impossible to talk to, complains about everything, has no interests and basically speaks to you like you're a piece of dirt on his shoe. He thinks he's better than us all, that we are all stupid and is patronizing as hell.
Last night we had already walked our dog and were in our bedroom when we got this knock on the door. It was mum and she said they were going to walk their dogs and could our dog come upstairs cuz she loses her mind when she sees a lead so it would be easier. We of course said yes and I was moving around the bed to go get her when my mum called down the stairs to my stepdad who was at the bottom to let her up. Due to having so many dogs we have had a baby gate at the bottom of the stairs. He opens the gate, our dog comes running up the stairs BUT when she reaches the top looks back, realises that he had lifted up a lead, turned tail and basically ran full pelt downstairs again. By this point my stepdad had closed the gate and the gate is also not the sturdiest and has been broken for a while so sometimes pops off the wall but they never bothered to replace it (its literally been like this for about 5 years) Our dog knows if she pushes it with her nose it opens and is constantly opening it and letting herself upstairs. Anyway, our dog runs full pelt, bashes the gate like a bull, it doesn't pop open like it normally does so she goes right through it taking it off the wall and basically just takes my stepdad out who was standing behind it. He's in this heap on the floor with the gate on top of him and of course we heard the crash and the yell and all 3 (my mum, me n husband) started running down the stairs to him.
We are of course concerned with making sure he is okay and not hurt but before we even got to the bottom of the stairs he absolutely LOSES his mind and starts screaming murder at my dog and basically runs towards her, she's a timid rescue dog so she is absolutely terrified and literally has her head down, tail down, slunk in the farthest part of the room trembling and actually wet herself with fear as he is storming across at her. My mum starts trying to calm him down, saying things like "obviously Siaana didn't do it on purpose, it was an accident, she didn't plan it, the gate HAS been broken for ages, it falls off constantly"...etc and tries to switch the focus back to making sure he is okay but he wasn't for hearing any of it. He starts screaming about how that's it, she's out, can't live here anymore, she shouldn't even be here in the first place, then turns on me and my husband saying we shouldn't be living here, we are taking the piss and need to basically fuck off.. I had to bribe the wee dog with a biscuit to come out of the room and up the stairs and into my room away from him cuz she was too scared to even move. I wanted to get her away from the noise and anger.
It was a much longer night after that as it just descended into utter chaos - yes more chaos than had already happened- he was screaming, smashing things, banging things, he tried to square up to me like a big hard man, my mum lost her mind at that point at him so they were both full blown screaming at each other.
The summary is that basically he wants us out, he thinks we are taking the piss by living in HIS house that HE pays the mortgage for, he said it's not his fault I made a bad choice that led me here- the bad choice being sticking by my husband through the court hell for 2 years and not just giving up and divorcing him cuz apparently I couldn't have known him that well anyway and shouldn't have bothered- He went on about how we don't do anything to contribute in the house (complete bull cuz we do and it's actually him who won't lift a finger. He won't even change the bedclothes on his own bed and keeps having mental breakdowns because mum won't make him his lunch for work everyday cuz he's some caveman who seems to think that having a wife means you have your own servant). Complained about how he pays for the internet we all use- we pay towards it on a standing order every 1st of the month. He then went on to say we don't even look after our dog and never walk her?!?! We walk her EVERY day, she goes to the beach or country park near my husbands work constantly or if it's not a great day at the very least gets walked around the streets near our house. He literally just makes up crap that isn't even true.
Anyway sorry for the length of this, throughout all that he was screaming in my face and I ended up actually shaking with rage and I frustration-cry so he seemed to think he had won until I told him exactly what I've been thinking of him for the past 10+ years- that he is a complete asshole and we wish he had never come into our lives. That he does nothing except sleep or lie about the place getting in the way cuz we can't use rooms for hours at a time and have to tiptoe about cuz he rages and how he can't go an hour without a beer sucked down his throat. That he is a judgemental piece of shit that is in absolutely no position to judge anyone else cuz he's made a mess of his own life and yes, our life isn't ideal right now but we had circumstances beyond our control that we fought against every single step of the way but his life is a mess because of his own stupid decisions. I think I said asshole about 7 times...
I am 100% done with the man, Mum has told him she wants a divorce and is absolutely disgusted with him. She's completely done too. My husband was working today and tonight so I spent the whole day out with my mum today and it actually was really nice. She was saying that he wanted to start that whole drama to try get his own way but its actually backfired on him...it's like its finally cleared the air and negative sullen atmosphere that has been hanging over us all for ages in the house and it's all out now and we have finally reached the stage that we don't care at all anymore what he says or thinks. He was slinking about today in the background and I haven't even acknowledged his existence and don't plan to... I also found out that he has been the source behind a lot of the things my mum has been saying to me. He has been putting all these nasty things in her head for weeks knowing that the best way to hurt her would be through her children. He has been telling her that we are only using her and once we are able to get a house shell not see us for dust, basically making her feel like shes worthless to us and no one cares about her, making her feel alone and also trying to control her every move. She really opened up to me today about all the behaviour we don't see.
We are looking into the legal side of things and going to make a plan.
