can you actually afford to have a baby?

[twinkles]

Yes we can afford our soon to arrive first child....but we are both self employed which goes against us with maternity and there is no paternity for oh but that's another crazy discussion!!

We can only afford to start our family because I have built up my business for
10 years, most weeks only having one day off a week, but working so hard means I can now expand my business enough to employ someone meaning I can take 8 weeks maternity and my business doesn't need to close...my husband again works every day he can, fisherman so weather permitting but he often works 20/30 days with out a day off...all of this has now payed off because we can afford this child and still have our holidays and treats, meals out etc without feeling guilty because this is our money....

but what really pisses me off is people who chose not to work feel that we owe them something, that they have the right to say to us about having 'another' holiday or 'you can afford it' 'your lucky'...there's no jobs, the pay is crap, it's not worth it etc or the people that do work but think that 16 hours a week is enough because they can still claim benefits under that threshold and it's not worth working any more hours....this is where it's wrong! You get penalised for working! If everyone who 'could work' actually just got on with it and worked this country wouldn't be in such a mess but unfortunately it's to easy to fiddle the system and play the game, yet my husband can't get a penny for when he takes 2 weeks off for the birth of our child, speaks volumes!!!!

 

[Iriki]

^^^^ could not agree more!
I'm an older mom because we waited till we were financially secure, married and in our own home to start a family.
We're self employed too - dairy farmers, our days start at 4.30am and during calving can finish as late as midnight.... We're lucky in that we can work around the kids, they can come to "work" with us etc but it also means we can't sit on our laurels. I was back in the milking shed, milking cows 7 weeks after I had my daughter.... That's the way our lifestyle is. We work hard but it provides us with a good living, the opportunity to spend time with the children and provide for them as we want to.
To me, it's a no-brainer... If you're on minimum wage then it's not appropriate to start a family. It's simple economics, you won't be able to afford it. Give it time, establish a career, make sure you're in a financial position to provide for your family. Why should it be anyone else's responsibility and why wouldn't you want to give your children the best in life that you can and instill in them a work ethic and healthy social values. If you ask our nearly 4 year old why we milk the cows , he'll tell you it's so mummy & daddy can make money to buy food ...... He already knows you need to work to get money and we wouldn't have it any other way.
At the end of the day our financial situations dictate the kind of house we buy, the cars we drive, the holidays we take.... It should also play a significant role in when we decide to start a family. If you can't afford to house, clothe and feed your child YOURSELF in addition to all your other living expenses then you're really not in a position to start a family. And that's not discriminating against anyone .... It's simple economics.

 

[misscrazycooki]

That's the un fairness of this argument. Yes some people milk the system. But i intend to go back to work once my two boys start school as i want to see them grow up. I am helping and pushing my partner to find work which he is trying but the job centre have messed us around since day one. They refuse to give him funding for his fork lift truck license even though he has the experience behind him and only needs a refresher for it. And you know what i couldn't give a crap about what you lot think anymore yes i am on benefits and yes i got pregnant whilst on them but i was receiving Treatment to find out why i couldn't get pregnant at the time and my first son was a shock and surprise as i didn't think i could get pregnant. I think this thread needs locking its just annoying as like i said before nothing but one up manship saying people on minimum wage don't deserve a baby is wrong.

I have never been handed everything. I don't have a house even though i have asked and pleaded when i left my partner a while back. Unless your foreign you don't get a sniff anymore.


20/06/2012 - Elliott born at 129 x

11/02/2011 - Leo born at 11:37 x

 

[diane]

I don't agree with ttc whilst on benefits, but to say that you shouldn't start a family whilst on minimum wage is absolutely out of order! My husband and I are both on minimum wage, we struggle by and budget every month but we have NEVER claimed benefits, never been in debt, we go on holiday once a year, pay our own rent, own a car etc...
We work hard jobs and hopefully one day we will move further up the career ladder but to say you shouldn't start a family on minimum wage is incredibly insulting when we can afford everything we need for ourselves and our baby.

 

[mumsy4]

Wow, what happened to love conquering all.
My parents were millionaires and crap at parenting. I live a humble but happy life and my kids have everything they need but above all LOVE.
financially having a 4th child wasn't a sensible idea, but money isn't everything, I can afford to give him/her/them all the love they need.





Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk 2

 

[misscrazycooki]

Wow, what happened to love conquering all.
My parents were millionaires and crap at parenting. I live a humble but happy life and my kids have everything they need but above all LOVE.
financially having a 4th child wasn't a sensible idea, but money isn't everything, I can afford to give him/her/them all the love they need.


Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk 2

I agree x
I think as long as the child is loved and cared for what difference does it make my mum had a bad time with my real dad and ended up on benefits. I still went out and worked for a good 5 years before i had my son. I intend on going back. My children are loved and have everything they need as well as a family.

20/06/2012 - Elliott born at 129 x

11/02/2011 - Leo born at 11:37 x

 

[cosmicgirl]

I'm a bit sick of people who are on benefits telling working folk that they cannot state their opinions about people on benefits, why can't we have an opinion?
I have worked damn hard to get to where I am today, I have missed my children growing up to go through uni, I have missed my baby stages to work. I am dragging my painful pregnant arse to work 40 hours a week to pay for this child and will do until I am 40 weeks pregnant.
So yeah, I get mighty pissed off when people rinse the benefit system and we are flaming paying for them!
Why the hell should people with zero intention of working get to sit at home enjoying their children whilst I pay for them and miss my children growing up?
People who are able to work but don't should be made to earn their benefits IMO, like a community service type thing.
The system is very very unfair.
My neighbour for example sits out in the sun all day with her kids, I'm often trogging off to work whilst her and him are living it up in a house that is paid for, enjoying a nice BBQ with the kids and their non working friends while I'm dragging myself to work!
Who's the mug there? Me!
I am not including people who have fallen on hard times and don't want to be on benefits or disabled but hell yeah, I have a bloody opinion on people who ttc on benefits with no means to pay for these kids.
I make no apologies but it seems that everyone people have an opinion on people on benefits, they get slammed or called a bully.
Mothers should be encouraged financially to work, childcare should be heavily subsidised.
Parents should be helped financially to return to study.
I WOULD be sooo much better off financially if I didn't work, that is fact, but that doesn't mean I'm going to sit at home.
I'm teaching my children a good work ethic and contributing to the economy.
And that is MY opinion.

 

[mumsy4]

I don't agree with ttc whilst on benefits, but to say that you shouldn't start a family whilst on minimum wage is absolutely out of order! My husband and I are both on minimum wage, we struggle by and budget every month but we have NEVER claimed benefits, never been in debt, we go on holiday once a year, pay our own rent, own a car etc...
We work hard jobs and hopefully one day we will move further up the career ladder but to say you shouldn't start a family on minimum wage is incredibly insulting when we can afford everything we need for ourselves and our baby.

EXACTLY this!!
It's one thing to comment on people ttc on benefits, but it's another thing to start on people who WORK whether that be for the minimum wage or not.
Some people are just so rude.

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk 2

 

[cosmicgirl]

I don't agree with ttc whilst on benefits, but to say that you shouldn't start a family whilst on minimum wage is absolutely out of order! My husband and I are both on minimum wage, we struggle by and budget every month but we have NEVER claimed benefits, never been in debt, we go on holiday once a year, pay our own rent, own a car etc...
We work hard jobs and hopefully one day we will move further up the career ladder but to say you shouldn't start a family on minimum wage is incredibly insulting when we can afford everything we need for ourselves and our baby.

EXACTLY this!!
It's one thing to comment on people ttc on benefits, but it's another thing to start on people who WORK whether that be for the minimum wage or not.
Some people are just so rude.

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk 2

There's no problem with people on minimum wage, if anything - hats off to them because a lot of the time they would be better off on benefits yet they still work.

 

[misscrazycooki]

Tell you what you go to power then and change things as of now moaning about it won't change anything and if your that arsed and depressed in work give it up instead of bitching also will add

YOUR TAX ISN'T JUST FOR BENEFITS ITS FOR HEALTH CARE AND EMERGENCY SERVICES SO DO SOME RESEARCH.

20/06/2012 - Elliott born at 129 x

11/02/2011 - Leo born at 11:37 x

 

[VikkiR]

saying everyone has a right to have a child is utterly insulting to those ttc for years and years and the heartache that goes along with it.

So what sort of people shouldnt have the right to have children?



.

If you had read my previous post I said it is not a right to have children, but a privilege, not everyone sadly gets to be parents.

 

[mumsy4]

Cos please read a couple of posts up and u will see what I am referring too x

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk 2

 

[cosmicgirl]

Tell you what you go to power then and change things as of now moaning about it won't change anything and if your that arsed and depressed in work give it up instead of bitching also will add

YOUR TAX ISN'T JUST FOR BENEFITS ITS FOR HEALTH CARE AND EMERGENCY SERVICES SO DO SOME RESEARCH.

20/06/2012 - Elliott born at 129 x

11/02/2011 - Leo born at 11:37 x

I am well aware of what my taxes pay for thank you very much, I work for the NHS and am aware of the funding that goes into that, using shouty capitals just amuses me.
If you are going back to work I said I wasn't talking about you so why get such an attitude?
It's a debate an we are all entitled to an opinion.
No actually I enjoy my work, there's not a chance I will leave and sit at home on benefits but thanks for the advice!
I want to pay for my family myself, thanks anyway.
Oh And by the way, I'm entitled to my opinion as much as anyone.
I have stated (as have many others on here) that I have nothing against people who have fallen on hard times or cannot work due to disabilities.
Is that ok with you or do I have to agree with YOUR OPINION!!!!

 

[cosmicgirl]

Cos please read a couple of posts up and u will see what I am referring too x

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk 2

I didn't see that, I know what you mean, that's wrong in my opinion.
People on minimum wage need a bloody medal hun don't they?
The rate of minimum wage needs seriously looked at, it's not right x

 

[cosmicgirl]

Anyway, enjoyed the debate (mostly) its nice we can give our opinions without it getting too heated but I'm off out now for a nice day with my kids (if it doesn't rain!)
Enjoy your day ladies

 

[misscrazycooki]

Cos please read a couple of posts up and u will see what I am referring too x

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk 2

I didn't see that, I know what you mean, that's wrong in my opinion.
People on minimum wage need a bloody medal hun don't they?
The rate of minimum wage needs seriously looked at, it's not right x

Its that low because of the amount of foreigners coming over. I have had many a conversation with job centre agents and they all agree the job market and incentives are crap and should be looked at

20/06/2012 - Elliott born at 129 x

11/02/2011 - Leo born at 11:37 x

 

[Titch85]

I also think that benefits should be equal to minimum wage, or less! This would encourage people to go back to work, to take the jobs that are just above minimum wage because it means there's more money coming it. It's totally wrong that people can get more money on benefits than working. It makes a mockery of the people working 40+ hours a week.

 

[cosmicgirl]

I also think that benefits should be equal to minimum wage, or less! This would encourage people to go back to work, to take the jobs that are just above minimum wage because it means there's more money coming it. It's totally wrong that people can get more money on benefits than working. It makes a mockery of the people working 40+ hours a week.

Agree, but they also need to help parents who want to work with affordable childcare x

 

[Roo3]

I'm a bit sick of people who are on benefits telling working folk that they cannot state their opinions about people on benefits, why can't we have an opinion?
I have worked damn hard to get to where I am today, I have missed my children growing up to go through uni, I have missed my baby stages to work. I am dragging my painful pregnant arse to work 40 hours a week to pay for this child and will do until I am 40 weeks pregnant.
So yeah, I get mighty pissed off when people rinse the benefit system and we are flaming paying for them!
Why the hell should people with zero intention of working get to sit at home enjoying their children whilst I pay for them and miss my children growing up?
People who are able to work but don't should be made to earn their benefits IMO, like a community service type thing.
The system is very very unfair.
My neighbour for example sits out in the sun all day with her kids, I'm often trogging off to work whilst her and him are living it up in a house that is paid for, enjoying a nice BBQ with the kids and their non working friends while I'm dragging myself to work!
Who's the mug there? Me!
I am not including people who have fallen on hard times and don't want to be on benefits or disabled but hell yeah, I have a bloody opinion on people who ttc on benefits with no means to pay for these kids.
I make no apologies but it seems that everyone people have an opinion on people on benefits, they get slammed or called a bully.
Mothers should be encouraged financially to work, childcare should be heavily subsidised.
Parents should be helped financially to return to study.
I WOULD be sooo much better off financially if I didn't work, that is fact, but that doesn't mean I'm going to sit at home.
I'm teaching my children a good work ethic and contributing to the economy.
And that is MY opinion.

Agree 100%.

This has been said lots of times but I'll say it again. Noone is having a go at people on benefits who have found themselves there unexpectedly or have got pregnant unplanned whilst on benefits. The problem lies with people on benefits who have no intention of going to work and actively ttc whilst on benefits with no regard to how they are going to pay for that child.
I struggle every month to pay for my lo. I work 2 days a week so I can afford to take him places and buy him the things he needs.
Oh and I have not treated ourselves to anything new for well over a year. We saved up to have our baby so we could afford to support him on our own. When the saved money ran out, I went back to work. I do not expect anyone else to pay for the baby I chose to bring into the world.
And I know that the taxes I pay also go towards the NHS etc, but a large chunk goes to benefits.

 

[Elfs Mummy]

Cos childcare is extortionate I work 3 nights a week and am going back to college in September by working those 3 days I am going to be £200 worst of each month than if I was on full benefits I currently can't afford to loose that amount of money. The way the system is is so unfair and I'm having to consider leaving work and going back on benefits so I can afford to look after my daughter. Not everyone chooses to be on benefits and in most cases the blame can't be put on those claiming I hate being judged for being on benefits but when I come and work I'm worst of it doesn't make sense. Some people screw the system, some people have children so they don't have wi work but most of those on benefits just want what's best for their children and that could mean they have to stay on benefits but it doesn't mean we should be judged for that at the end of the day we all just want what's best for our children x