can you actually afford to have a baby?

[tabbi]

i know i can't say much as i am unemployed (until jan 2013) and my partner doesn't work (he starts new job in september as a eca) and we have 3 children between us, both of mine i was on contraception when i got pregnant. implant and depo both unplanned but none the less wanted.
its not fair that everyones tax pays for us i worked til i was 6 months with my daughter through and agenency and my Oh worked up til november 2010 he had to leave his job as he ex complained about his hours.
we don't want to stay on benefits and have been working out the cost of childcare for where we are as we had to move a distance (130 miles) for daughter safty. and we know its going to be on hell of a stuggle. we know that we cant afford anymore children for quite a few years. we have both been looking for work my partner is starting as an emergency care assistant i have found loads of jobs i can do, just need one that can keep us afloat its the problem with having children well on benefits.
this women shouldnt be wanting IVF for another, mine were accidents but planning is different thing. its wrong x x x

 

[hesty14]

I can afford my child but have saved hard to be able to and will need to go back to work to continue to. I work full time and so does my hubby and we have done since we were both 16. Maternity pay and child benefit is the first government money I have ever had.

I have a cousin (3 yrs older) who has two kids, 12 and 4, never worked a day in her life and does not intend to. She has always had the latest phone, tv etc, smokes, goes out regulary and at times had more disposable income than I had. Has a bigger house which she does bot pay a penny for and gets most bills paid. But she still pleads poverty and says how hard done by she is. It seriously winds me up and the amount of times I have had to hold my tongue from loosing it with her and her mum.

I have got to go back to work to provide for my daughter and keep a nice roof over her head. I won't be able to spend everyday with her like my cousin does with her kids, I will miss stuff but I would not change anything as my daughter will grow up knowing you have to work for things and it is not handed on a plate. My cousins 16 yr old has no intention of looking for a job and thinks that everything will be given to him and he wont ever need to.

I just want to clarify that where there is a genuine reason for a person to have benefit, like illness, loosing job etc then this is fine it is what the system is intended for it is people like my cousin (who there are many of judging by her friends) who think it is there right when they has never put anything in.


On tapatalk so can't see tickers
Excuse the typos, phone has mind of its own.

 

[Elfs Mummy]

A lot of the comments however are judging people on benefits as a whole not many want to be on benefits but sometimes it's necessary to survive !

 

[EssJayPea]

A lot of the comments however are judging people on benefits as a whole not many want to be on benefits but sometimes it's necessary to survive !

That's not strictly true. The majority of comments are understanding towards people who fall on hard times or are unable to work due to medical reasons. It's the culture of freeloaders which make people angry. Examples of this are sadly not rare x

 

[mumsy4]

The fact is where there are free handouts people are going to take them.

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk 2

 

[Young Mum 21 x]

saying everyone has a right to have a child is utterly insulting to those ttc for years and years and the heartache that goes along with it.

So what sort of people shouldnt have the right to have children?



It's the system that's to blame, people on job seekers should be out doing community work! They are the ones making it far to easy to have kids and never do a days work again! I'm better off not working however I'd rather work and so does OH, it's a nice feeling knowing that you'v worked hard for what u have.

 

[misscrazycooki]

Think thread should be locked and deleted any time benefits are mentioned there is a full scale war.

20/06/2012 - Elliott born at 129 x

11/02/2011 - Leo born at 11:37 x

 

[Iriki]

This is a real bug bear of mine, I'm definitely of the school of thought that if you can't afford something then you don't do it / buy it. That applies to planning your family too.
This is an extreme example but if you couldn't afford to feed, house and provide necessities for a pet, be that a dog, horse etc, would you get one? No. You wouldn't. Why should the principles be any different for starting a family ?
Benefits are there for a reason. They're a stop gap, emergency situation not a long term financial solution.
Every child deserves to have their parents provide for it to the best of their abilities, this means waiting till you're financially stable, have suitable living arrangements and savings in place for a "rainy day" scenario. You plan holidays, weekends away, career progression, shouldn't you give some thought and planning to one of the most important decisions anyone can make, that of starting/ expanding your family?

 

[monkeynut]

I am of the thought that if you can't afford something without relying totally on others/benefits then you shouldn't have it.

That includes children.

We saved for a year before I became pregnant, it had made the whole experience and pregnancy a pleasure as there has been no panic and worry over money etc.

 

[Iriki]

I am of the thought that if you can't afford something without relying totally on others/benefits then you shouldn't have it.

That includes children.

We saved for a year before I became pregnant, it had made the whole experience and pregnancy a pleasure as there has been no panic and worry over money etc.

Absolutely.
The world does not owe anyone a living - you live according to your means or save until you can afford to do the things you want.
Children are expensive & parenthood is stressful enough without having financial worries as well!

 

[tabbi]

I am of the thought that if you can't afford something without relying totally on others/benefits then you shouldn't have it.

That includes children.

We saved for a year before I became pregnant, it had made the whole experience and pregnancy a pleasure as there has been no panic and worry over money etc.

Absolutely.
The world does not owe anyone a living - you live according to your means or save until you can afford to do the things you want.
Children are expensive & parenthood is stressful enough without having financial worries as well!

I totally agree, here although i am on benefits, i am starting work again in january 2013 when my son will be 6 months and daughter starts pre school. its not a situtation i wanted to be in therefore am bringing myself n partner out of. i know my partners ex when she found out she was pregnant, she quit her job and started claiming benefits, she moved into her parents so she could get a house which she now has, and her son has everything most expensive clothes toys it all...apart from a loving mother as she is never around.

she knew that she couldn't afford the baby yet still trapped my partner by saying she was on the depo when she wasn't. he was willing pay out of his own back pocket for the said child. but even on benefits demanded £4000 plus half of what he would need for his first year of life. SOME people are on benefits for life and others who struggle. I want off and the earliest i can work i intend too my partner is waiting to start his job so come september we will be off JSA and only be in recepit of CTC and CB, we will be getting there x x x

 

[EssJayPea]

Tabbi, you're a perfect example of how benefits from the state should be used. Good luck to your oh with his new job in September and your own next year xxx

 

[tabbi]

cheers, my Oh is becoming an ECA which is a trainee paramedic so proud of him for going for it x x x

 

[Humesy]

This is a real bug bear of mine, I'm definitely of the school of thought that if you can't afford something then you don't do it / buy it. That applies to planning your family too.
This is an extreme example but if you couldn't afford to feed, house and provide necessities for a pet, be that a dog, horse etc, would you get one? No. You wouldn't. Why should the principles be any different for starting a family ?
Benefits are there for a reason. They're a stop gap, emergency situation not a long term financial solution.
Every child deserves to have their parents provide for it to the best of their abilities, this means waiting till you're financially stable, have suitable living arrangements and savings in place for a "rainy day" scenario. You plan holidays, weekends away, career progression, shouldn't you give some thought and planning to one of the most important decisions anyone can make, that of starting/ expanding your family?

Here here!! x

 

[Humesy]

Tabbi, you're a perfect example of how benefits from the state should be used. Good luck to your oh with his new job in September and your own next year xxx

Definitely! This is what we pay taxes for, so if were in this situation we can survive, but thats what it is -- 'survival'

I dont think anyone doesnt have the 'right' to have a child but i think everyone should want the best for their child, and that means leading a good example and being able to give them the life you want to give them, every child deserves that xx

 

[lisey27]

I don't usually get involved in these threads but this is one subject that I do get annoyed about. People should live within their means, not ttc when they are not in a secure financial situation. I am totally supportive of the need for people claiming benefits when they fall pregnant unexpectedly, have a disability or lose their job etc. but not people who continue to have one baby after another...I know people that have 6 children and never intend to work a day in their life, they will continue to have babies. My son is 10 now and I have wanted a baby for years now, I have held off until I could save and afford it so it annoys me when I see yet another "bump picture" on facebook of someone that already has 4 children and has never worked a day in their lives!
I think its acceptable to for people in genuine need to claim benefits but not those who rinse and take advantage of the system. The government need to do something about it, my personal opinion is they should help with only a certain amount of children and then if that family continues to have babies then their money will not increase-it could be an incentive to go and work, or not to bring several children into the world when they are not financially secure to do so.
I am meaning no offence to anybody at all and like I said, I get that some people need help and support, my issue is with people having loads of children and not intending to support them themselves x

 

[misscrazycooki]

Can just add that as i have not much experience in jobs but i have had a few. Its such a shame there is no help to those who wish to work but if your only going to be an extra tenner off it really puts you off going back. I have looked at it and minimum wage just doesn't cover it half the time also in joint claims you have to carry partner so that blows your help when your earning nothing

20/06/2012 - Elliott born at 129 x

11/02/2011 - Leo born at 11:37 x

 

[misscrazycooki]

People only see those who abuse it and half the time those on benefits are not taking all they can get.

20/06/2012 - Elliott born at 129 x

11/02/2011 - Leo born at 11:37 x

 

[lisey27]

Theres lots of help now though for low income families, working tax credits, child tax credits, help with childcare etc, they all work as a top-up for earnings. I agree, Its hard when you have no experience or little experience but there will be someone out there willing to give someone a chance, we all have to start somewhere.
I dont think anyone on here is angry or annoyed by genuine cases but its hard for people to be ok about some that take advantage when they have such a massive clump taken off their wages from taxes that then pay for people to continue to have children when they can't afford it x

 

[Iriki]

Yay for Tabbi, as someone has already said, it's refreshing to see someone using the benefit system as a stepping stone and a means to an end

Nice to see we can have a civilised discussion about this topic too without people jumping all over anyone just because they have different opinions or life experiences