please help me

[LouLou1986]

my 6 year old is a horrible child, it hurts me to say this and i have been in denile but it is true shes rude, screams a lot as if shes being murdered god help what my neibours think, refuses to eat food unless its what she wants, she never sits still, hurts people on purpose she kicked a male friend in his bits twice for no reason, and she is making my life missrible, me and my fella are constantly argueing on how to deal with her, and to be honest at times i just want to strangle her!!

i dnt know how to deal with her anymore ive tryed being nice ive tryed being horrible it doesnt work!!

 

[FebMum2Be]

It must be such an upsetting situation to be in.. Have you spoke to her teachers? Does she act up in school? Has there been any big changes at home? Have you thought about counseling for her? Sorry for the questions, but if it was me, if the behavior in school and at home was consistent I would def consider counseling.. Nothing too heavy for her.. Maybe just trying to understand what's in her mind.. I hope things calm down soon

 

[MrsR]

I would also check what her behaviour is like at school. Do you have a set discipline routine for when she is naughty? What are the consequences of her behaviour? x Try not to worry about what the neighbours will think if she screams and has a tantrum x I'd definately set up a consistent discipline routine ie she gets two warnings about her behaviour and then is put on a naughty step or in her room (without toys) for 6 minutes or something similar. That way she is learning that her actions have consequences. Also try not to get bogged down in her bad behaviour, when she does something good-no matter how small-reward her. Maybe you could set up a sticker chart where by if she gets a certain amount of stickers in a week you all go to the park or she can have sweets etc. Maybe you could try to involve her in meal choices and get her to help who ever is making the meal? Also think of doing meals where you have like an indoor picnic so it's something different for her (my daughter loves indoor picnics and we make a den and all gather in there and eat). Try not to argue in front of her, wait until she's in bed to speak about how you're going to discipline and both come up with a plan (obviously the same plan) together. You need to show a united front. Good luck x

 

[LouLou1986]

the school has asked the adhD nurse to come in to see her, im so stuck, i just picked her up and chucked her in bed last night and now she has a bruised face im so upset i feel like sucha failure!

 

[FebMum2Be]

How do you feel about the adhd nurse coming in hun? If it's an all round behavior issue I think bringing in professionals will be the best thing for you both.. Children are very hard to understand sometimes.. Has she always behaved this way?

 

[LouLou1986]

like a failure to be honest, i give her loads of attention i buy her what she wants she is the child that has everything but she still misbehaves!

 

[MrsR]

You're not a failure x instead of just buying her what she wants when she wants it I would suggest making her earn it through a sticker chart or similar for good behaviour. We have a 6 year old and she has to earn her pocket money by keeping her room tidy and doing little jobs around the house. What kind of discipline system do you have at the moment? We give a 1,2,3 count and have never had to get past 3 to the consequence. We also make a point of telling her why certain behaviour (talking back at the moment) is unacceptable, request an apology and then make sure that we have a hug and let her know that that incident is done and finished and we forgive her and move on x I think the ADHD nurse might be a good idea, is this a concern of yours?