can you actually afford to have a baby?

Discussion in 'Home Life & Finances' started by cocoflakes, Aug 6, 2012.

  1. cocoflakes

    cocoflakes Well-Known Member

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    Can you actually afford to have a baby? Obviously in this country people cope and get by because everyone gets some kind of help but can u really afford it?

    & did you get pregnant on purpose?

    I know one girl who has one child already, is unemployed and no intentions of looking for work and wants another baby, her child now does not go without and she never palms him off on anyone and is always with him but shes planning on IVF for another baby and i asked if shed feel shes being judged trying for a baby when shes not working nd her fella isnt either. (hes doing like an apprenticeship)
    she doesnt seem to care because she wants a baby so much.
     
  2. VikkiR

    VikkiR Well-Known Member

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    At the risk of being shot down in flames I think it's irresponsible to put yourself in a position to get pregnant if you can't afford it. I also disagree with the taxpayer paying for such as well and I really get mad at people having babies who have never had a job and those intent on never getting one. I am fortunate to have a good job, as does my husband but having children is not a right it's a priviledge but I don't want that priviledge of paying for other peoples children in that situation when I've worked so hard for my salary. It's different when people who have worked fall on hard times, but for those that have never worked through choice I wouldn't pay them anything x
     
  3. cosmicgirl

    cosmicgirl Well-Known Member

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    I agree.
    I saved and saved to have each of my babies.
    Both myself and my oh both work full time also and pay for our children ourselves.
    If you can't afford to pay for your child then I don't believe you should plan one.
    Ttc on benefits is a no no for me, just my opinion.
    Accident happen - fine.
    People need benefits as a stop gap in a crisis or if made unemployed - fine x
     
  4. willowwisp

    willowwisp Well-Known Member

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    I agree with both replies so far. We waited until we could afford to have this baby. We aren't entitled to any funding or help with costs (other than MA) and I actually find it quite upsetting when people who refuse to support even themselves then ttc. We effectively had to pay our tax bill and wait to have a family, when others are having families on our tax bill without lifting a finger!

    I also don't begrudge people who end up in unfortunate situations financial help. I'd like to think if things every went horribly wrong for us we'd be looked after too. Genuine need is totally acceptable.
     
  5. Sue Clare

    Sue Clare Well-Known Member

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    Totally agree. I work 40h per week and my oh works 60h per week to support our family.
    If you can't afford kids without benefits, you should not be planning any!
    Xx
     
  6. Humesy

    Humesy Well-Known Member

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    I agree and as someone said, if people fall on hard times, thats what benefits are for.

    TTC on benefits for me is a HUGE no-no.

    If anything I get greater satsfaction of paying for my own child.

    Did anyone see that thing on fb?

    "Im working hard, and doing overtime and saving to get an iphone, like the one the woman in the queue with foodstamps has?!"

    I found it ironic but it's sooo true. I know people on benefits who are out and about and can afford to give their kids the best of the best and yes, my son doesn't go without but I work damn hard for probably the same money others get for effectively sitting on their arse! xx
     
    #6 Humesy, Aug 7, 2012
    Last edited: Aug 7, 2012
  7. SunnySue

    SunnySue Well-Known Member

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    I dont think you can ever really 'afford' to have a child, they are so expensive and there is a never ending list of stuff they need and want. BUT to TTC when you absolutely know that you have no real source of income (apart from benefits) is just irresponsible. Of course these things happen and some people find themselves in situations that they just didn't plan for but to do it intentionally I think is selfish and irresponsible.
    Sorry if I have offended anyone or sounded judgemental but this is something that I feel quite strongly about.
     
  8. Beximillian

    Beximillian Well-Known Member

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    Agree with everyone else! We can afford our baby....when I go back to work! We accepted it would always be a real possibility and were okay with that - there's no way I could stay on smp any longer as we're £900 short a month. It's time the government stopped paying out so much money for women who have always been on benefits having families, it's not right. It's completely unfair that us taxpayers struggle for what they get for nothing.
     
  9. diane

    diane Well-Known Member

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    In all honesty I don't agree with ttc when on benefits/nowhere to live etc... I think doing so is very indictive of this country's attitude of "I want it now, so I'll have it and why shouldn't I?"
    We don't earn a massive amount but we have both never been without jobs since 15 and 16. We are very careful with our money and don't spend it on cinemas/days out/clothes etc which means we will be able to afford our child.
     
  10. Sammyxo

    Sammyxo Well-Known Member

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    I didn't plan my pregnancy and am having two which has been a bit of a shock but I know we will get by. I don't ever want to rely on benefits or anything like that and had a good well paying job that I took a break from in January and am skilled to get something again once I am able to look for work (although signed off work due to illness at the mo.)
    My OH works for himself 7 days a week but it's just not enough to support us all so he's looking for a second income whilst saving everything he can to afford to pay upfront rent for us in our new place. I make and sell things on Ebay as well as setting up websites etc to bring in some extra income.
    I want the best for my babies and will work my ass off to provide for them. I completely get that sometimes people get in sticky situations and need help with benefits etc. Right now as i'm signed off work ill I can't look for a new job and when I was no one would hire me as clearly I'm going on maternity leave soon, so all I can do is get some help. I would never ttc on benefits, it's crazy people do but I suppose if they can get away with it then they will!
     
  11. NaomiiLeiigh.

    NaomiiLeiigh. Well-Known Member

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    I think it all depends on personal circumstances! (every reason is unique)
    Are lo was nethia plan or non plan (if it happens it happens type thing) & I donnt think we were in the wrong for doing this
    As my oh cannot work due to medical issues & will not be able to ( I am his career but was looking for part time work & when bubba grows up. I will hopefully find part time work) but I cannt help but feel half these comments are aimed at me & my partner.
    We are on benefite yes does that mean we find life easy no (the government are trying so hard to make it difficult for us although we are intile to what we get) & we defo donnt go around buying iPhones/ laptops & clothes etc.
    (we also have to pay tax they just help us so it's money we Don't see)

    I also think bubba is going to be lucky to have mummy & daddy around all day NOT SAYING PEOPLE WHO WORK BUBBAS ARENT LUCKY! (must express that) just putting my positive spin on it x
     
  12. Zazu

    Zazu Well-Known Member

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    I agree with most replies, I would only plan to have a baby if I honestly believed I could afford to provide for that baby x
     
  13. VikkiR

    VikkiR Well-Known Member

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    I wish there was an opt in/out tick box of types of benefit claimants we could choose (or not) to contribute to as to where our income tax is paid. It would be interesting to see what kind of revenue each benefit received. I wonder if certain benefits or types of claimants were void, if it would make a difference to the birth rate within that demographic. I agree in principle of 'Every Child Matters', but we are increasingly living in a nanny state. It is not the governments responsibility to look after the nations children but their parents. Wasting money on vouchers for fresh food is ridiculous, if a mother to be can't afford fresh fruit and veg, how the heck can she afford to buy formula, clothes and nappies because child benefit certainly doesn't come close. Money is a scarce resource and in my opinion much better spent on healthcare and education. Unfortunately, too many people are abusing the system and it's costing all the 'decent' people in some form or other. There is no shame in falling on hard times, nor being medically unfit for work, the sad thing is there are many deserving people who are too proud to claim, or who do not know that they can claim and I speak from experience as I have in the past worked for DWP where some were claiming incapacity benefit who were not only fitter than I was, but was getting more money than me and I was working a 40 hour week. There were many who entered the building limping one one leg, and exited limping on the other, but that's a whole other story x
     
  14. mumsy4

    mumsy4 Well-Known Member

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    Hmm the answer to the question would be yeah we can afford a 4th baby...but sacrifices have to be made as they have for every child. My oh works full time, and when baby starts nursery I will go to work, and then that's when we''ll be able to afford little luxuarys again.
    But for now every sacrifice is worth our babies :)

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk 2
     
  15. EssJayPea

    EssJayPea Well-Known Member

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    I agree with what the others have said 100% and were all justified in putting their opinions across as this was what the OP had asked for. I really don't think this was aimed at you and your oh personally so no need to take offence. Your partner receives benefits for ill health and that's completely what they exist for.

    Anyway...

    I think Ttc or even ntnp whilst on benefits is completely irresponsible and is indicative of how buggered this country is. OH and I work full time and now that I'm on mat leave, we're really having to cut back to afford things. We're middle of the road people and unfortunately are in the group who get the least.

    The super rich have ways of dodging tax and some people on benefits know it's in their interest to remain that way. For instance, there's a program on channel 4 this Monday called 'tricks of the dole cheats' which, although certainly does NOT apply to everyone but adds to the frustration felt by those who work hard and get nothing.

    We've saved hard over the years and increased this when we decided to Ttc. We get absolutely no help from the government - help we could really benefit from.
     
  16. Mrs N

    Mrs N Well-Known Member

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    What I find most concerning is that person is tesching their children that they do not have to work for anything!! Im lucky enough to be able to afford to stay at home with my lo but I am going back one day a week so I can take him to all the classes and buy him toys etc.
    I think it is irresponsable to consider getting pregnant (planned) if you cannot afford it!! As far as im concerned that person is spending money on their child that I could be spending on mine or on someone who works hard but still struggles!!!
    xxx
     
  17. Kayelle

    Kayelle Well-Known Member

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    Oh works full time and then some, I was working the same when we got pg. I was fired while I was pg. I wasn't allowed job seekers, and now we are struggling on oh wage alone. Oh and I been paying taxes to low life bums never intending to do anything, yet now we need help.someone may aswel kick me in the face. If I go back to work I will be paying for childcare and nothing else so no point!
    So basically we have to struggle, neither of us have had new clothes in a very long time, I am still wearing mat clothes, we have cheap Asda food like rice or almost gone off turkey every single night (don't worry baba has everything he needs) yet some shit ass people have never worked nor do they intend to are walking around with 5 kids , designer clothes, new cars and playstations that I bought!!!! RRRAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

    P.s. this is not aimed at those that genuinely need the help as thats what the system is there for. I just hate that the genuine ones like oneof you that posted are finding it difficult yet some find it easy.
     
  18. Kayelle

    Kayelle Well-Known Member

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    I meant cheap ass food not Asda lol
     
  19. Roo3

    Roo3 Well-Known Member

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    I agree that ttc on benefits or when you can't support that child is unforgivable. I have worked full time from when
    I graduated uni until I went on maternity leave. I know work 2 days a week. My oh is self employed and earns a good wage but we still struggle from month to month. We are hopefully going to be buying a bigger house this year and then we will be stretched financially but it's the best for our family.
    I get annoyed when I hear people say they can't afford to eat etc but they are ttc. I have to bite my tongue.
    We have booked our first family holiday, 3 nights in a caravan in Skegness. That's all we can afford, yet I hear people on benefits say they are going abroad for 2 wks etc. it makes my blood boil that the tax payer is paying for that luxury for them.
    Benefits are to help people live, not go on holiday or buy the latest gadget.
     
  20. saraian26

    saraian26 Well-Known Member

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    Yes I can afford all my children, my husband works - im trying to start a business up from home. My children are not dressed in brand new designer clothes - we shop in primark and I get the odd preloved bit off ebay for them - I love used next clothes! but my kids are clean and tidy, we have a nice home, cnt ask for more then that.

    When my little one is older il be ttc again I think - not 100% sure though. But I wouldnt be ttc if I was soley on benefits. People like that drive me mad.
     

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