Young Pregnancy

[Naaat]

So basically, is anyone here or have they ever been through pregnancy quite young?
I'm 19 and pregnant, I know these days people have kids younger than that, but seriously, sometimes older people make me feel like complete crap for being pregnant in my teens.
Sometimes when I go to the clinic, there'll be some older pregnant women there, and some of them just look at me like I'm dirt.
It's like, ugh you don't even know me or my story, so why judge me straight away?

Believe me, I couldn't be happier to be pregnant, and I don't think 19 is too young to be pregnant. I think everyone is different and know when they are ready to have a baby. No one should say "You are too young to be having a baby!" because everyone is different, in my opinion. So everyone matures at different time. And if they feel they can handle a baby, then who are we to stop them? It's their decision.

It's just horrible when I come across some snobby woman who thinks I'm an irresponsible little girl for getting pregnant while I'm still young. Believe me, if I felt I wasn't ready to have a child, I wouldn't be having one.

I guess my point is at the end of the day, some people can make me feel really bad, and lower my self-esteem so much, and it's just not fair. They don't know me, or what happened, or what I've been through. They have no right to judge. Even my mother sometimes makes me feel bad, she won't mention to anyone that I'm pregnant. People find out from other people and before that she'd be like "Don't tell anyone!" as if it's some big deal that will bring shame upon the family or something. Don't get me wrong, my mum is excited about the baby, and she is happy, but I think she's also embarrassed about it sometimes. I don't know.

So yeah... lol sorry for the long post. XD

 

[Lacey's Mummy]

I was 20 when I was pregnant with lacey, had her at 21 and I'm 25 now having little man and I still get judged!! I don't care though, I found the pregnancy easier being 20 working full time now than what I am finding it now and just think when your baby is 18 your still be young enough to go out together clubbing etc! My mum was 34 when she had me and I always felt different to other children as she was older than the other mums and she never took me out to the park etc cos she carried on working full time!
I wouldn't worry about it Hun, I'm glad I've had my children young x x

 

[x_MrsE_x]

have a read through this thread....

http://www.pregnancyforum.co.uk/ask-a-mum/123125-were-you-young-mum.html

Should make you feel alot better

 

[AugustMum]

Youre totally right. People completly think they can judge younger mothers. My mother had my sister at 18 and me at 21 and I dont consider that too young. Infact, my parents did a better job than most at raising us

Im 22 and expecting my first, and I find that even I get funny looks!!! Even FOB thinks that people will judge us, and he said he felt like a stupid teenager when we went for the scan, and felt like people were looking at us.

Like you said, as long as the person having the child believes they can do it, and be a good mother, then whos to question otherwise.

Theres alot of us on here who are considered young mothers and everyones doing a fab job! x

 

[Naaat]

Yeah exactly, that's what I thought, when my kid is 20 I'll be 39 lol still young enough to go clubbing.

My mum was older having me too, my mum was 41 having me but she had my brother when she was 23 so there was an 18 year gap between my brother and I. Which added to the feeling different to other kids who had siblings around their age lol.

But yeah I don't think it's a bad thing at all to have kids young. Some people are just too judgemental to be honest. >_<

 

[MrsR]

I had my daughter at 18 and I'm now 24 x I'll be honest I must have walked around with my head in the clouds as I never noticed anyone being nasty but I did notice that once she'd arrived some people were really eager to help and some people just sneered at me struggling to hold a baby, fold down a pram and carry shopping onto a bus x x the only time I was 'embarrassed' was when my mother (I loathe to call her that) met an old friend of hers and said 'yes this is our grandaughter. A mistake and regret'. EXCUSE ME?!!!!!!! I do not regret my daughter and would never ever call her a mistake. I informed my mother and her friend of such and walked of with DD. My mums come more to terms as DD has grown up and is delighted now and that Sebs on the way x x

 

[Naaat]

Oh my god, that's an awful thing to say! Gah!
Yeah my mum kept saying "It's my fault your pregnant! I should have stopped saying I wanted to be a grandmother."
She wanted my brother to have kids lol seeing as he's in his late 30s with none so far. My mum actually always said she'd get one from me before him haha.
But yeah I said to my mum she should stop looking at it like it's a bad thing, like someone needs to be blamed for it. A new life into this world is something special, a gift, not something to place blame on.

And when people say young mums will be on benefits for the rest of their lives and won't have any career goals, well my cousin is the perfect example to prove them wrong. She had her son at 19 and she built her way up. It's now 20 years later and she's working VERY high up for the NHS, earns almost £40,000 a year, has her own (quite huge) house in the country and has done very well for herself. Her son didn't stop her achieving that. She looked at her son as a reason to do better. So she could afford to give him everything. And she has. She's been a great mum and she's made a great life for herself.

 

[bearsmummy]

I'm 20 and having my first but i look way younger then i actually am and i get so many nasty stares and comments. It drives me mad! I was id'd the other day for lottery and the person couldn't accept i was 20! Its so annoying! Just ignore them hun its up to you at the end of the day and if you feel ready then its no business of theirs!
xxx

 

[TheHolster]

God I hate people who are judgemental!
Its nobodys business what you do, when you have your children or when/who you choose to be with.
We all have choices to make in life!
Dont let them get to you hun! *hugs*

 

[isobel84]

Im 25 and my OH is 32 expecting our first, everyone says its a "perfect" age, but to be honest, we are both really really scared to become parents so i dont belive in "perfect ages to have children".
I saw a girl the other day with a baby, she didnt look older then 14 (might have been i dont know) and my sister said something about it, i said to her "shes probably as good as any other mum!"
We judge so quickly, there is alot of unresponsible young mums out there but just as many unresponsible mothers that are " the perfect age" XX

 

[kellylou]

I am 28 and will be 29 when I have the baby but look 21 and the amount of people that look down at me as they think I am younger than I am and it really bugs me. Its not just at the drs or the hospital tho it is in general everyone seems to think they are so much more better it is annoying xx

 

[Annie050408]

Well i'm 30 and have been told by 3 separate midwives that they thought I was only 16 until they saw my wedding ring and then checked my notes to see how old I was so I am sort of experiencing people looking at me thinking I am a teen mum too - which is odd for me!!

I say only you know if you feel ready/mature enough and it's nobody else's business. It's so hard to please people these days- you're either too young or need to get a move on because you'll soon be past it!!

 

[vixforever]

I'm 18, 19 in August. I hope you've read my thread hun as their are so many different stories and experiences on being a young mum. I fell pregnant with my DS Jacob at 16 and had him at 17 he is now 16 months old and he is the light of my life and so is my 21 week baby bump xx

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

I was 19 when I fell pregnant with my first, and had #2 a year later! I can honestly say tho I never got any looks in the streets or anything! I've probs been walking round withmy head up my arse tho! I literally look no older than 16 tho! Last year I was even at work if I was getting my gcse results the next day

my mum was a bit like yours, just not really accepting my pregnancy til #1 was here! She lives her to pieces now tho!!

 

[evie_smith]

I was just 18 when I fell pregnant with DD and had been trying for her for 7 1/2 months ... I got such looks an old woman even looked me up and down and sucked her teeth gutted and turned around - she was right infront of me in a queue so as she couldn't escape I had a LOUD conversation with her lol I then got preg with my son three months later I found out I was ten weeks pregnant @.@ I was like omg!!! And I kept bumping into the same bloody woman lol!!! Not my prob I used a condom had sex once and it broke to produce my little boy but it didn't make my I'm not irresposible and it's not
like will be havin one after the other arguements look very convincing

I'm now 21 and my third baby is due just then a month after I'm 22 I get id checked allllll the time when I got wedding bands on and two kids and a bump lol!! When I'm with my friends from the local sure start I told them my age and they couldn't believe me said I acted allot older so I think people do judge too quick x reason for having them all so young -my hubby is 35 this month lol but no body sees that when they see a young woman and bump enit x

 

[Momma`Kat]

Its like everything now a days though, Old women sneer at the music, the cars, the fashion, etc now, just because it wasnt the way it was done then.

Im 18, Baby due near my 19th birthday and im the same age as my mother when she had me, And I dont see anything wrong with it.

At this time in our lives, our bodies are healthier and more capable of carrying a child than if we were older. Biologically speaking, we are at the perfect age to have children. Its just fsahion that satates to the world that teenage mums are bad things.

You also have to remember the reputation of teenagers now a days. Drinking, Drugs, Partying, Sleeping around.. My health visitor was SHOCKED, and i mean SHOCKED, that i dont drink, i dont do drungs, and that i hate clubbing. It just depends on the individual person, If you are responsible, there is no problem.

 

[evie_smith]

Same as me no drink no drugs no partying no smoking never smoked never taken drugs and only enjoy a glass of wine of a Friday night/evening that's about it lol she asked me
like five times tho even adviced me to drink 3 units a week haha!! X

 

[Naaat]

It is bad how teenagers are all getting stereotyped these days! We're not all drug addicts or binge drinkers!
People say "You're not ready for a child" well all I can say is, everyone learns from having their first child! So whether we're 16 or 39 having a first child, we're all in the same boat lol.

 

[ashtonsmum]

got pregnant with my son at 20 had him at 21 and now im 22 and pregnant with 2nd, im also married yet people still look at me like im some teenager pregnant with a randomers kid, i used to be annoyed but now i jus laugh they have nothin better to do than judge, people who do that huni are just annoyed at something in their own lives they judge others to make themselves feel better, basically ud never have a baby if u went on what other people say or do, its ur life enjoy it and ur little miracle its so worth it congrats xxx

 

[NicciLove]

It is bad how teenagers are all getting stereotyped these days! We're not all drug addicts or binge drinkers!
People say "You're not ready for a child" well all I can say is, everyone learns from having their first child! So whether we're 16 or 39 having a first child, we're all in the same boat lol.

What a briliant way to put it! I totally agree with that comment.

Im 26 and having my first but ya know if i was ready 10 years ago i wouldn't havent been any more/less prepared than i am now and so it makes no difference!