Young Mums

[HeppiBean]

Hey, I've been on another pregnancy forum and a lot of people are very unfair towards younger Mothers and Mothers-to-be. I'm 18 and although I maybe am young I feel ready to take on this responsibility with my partner.
What's everyone else's opinion on younger girls having children?
xx

 

[songbird]

Hi hun
I was a youngish mum when i had my dd i was 21 and now im a older mum as im 30 so i have been both sides.
I think that age is not always an indicator to how a person will cope with being a parent. My cousin was 16 when she had her daughter and she is a excellent mum she is now married and ttc her 2nd but having problems.
I have respect for all mums no matter their age the important thing is that they put there baby first. What upsets me is what i saw New years eve a young pregnant girl getting very drunk at the pub i was at. (this is again is not because of her age i would have felt the same no matter what the age) I had just found out about my pregnancy and wsa on the diet coke making up excuses as to why i wasnt drinking lol

Good luck with your pregnancy hun

 

[FebMum2Be]

I was 18 when I fell pregnant with my son and was 19 when I had him, I honestly wouldn't change it for the world. I got the bad end of it too, but I knew I was ready once it happened and I was so happy about becoming a mummy, I have said it many times, and I will continue to say it, age doesn't define what kind of mother you are going to be, I think because of some young mothers who have been on the likes of Jeremy Kyle etc, kind of give us a bad name.. I know I'm just a good mother as any mother at any other age, my son wants for nothing, has my time and my love, he is teaching me, and has made me a better person.. If I hadn't of had him, I would probably be out drinking and spunking my money on useless things, he has changed me so much, for the better. I have had people speak down to me like "how are you coping" in a patronising voice and I just feel like saying, I'm coping the same as any other mother? Why would my age make a difference? Sorry for the rant, but after being on the receiving end of it I feel so strongly about, but at the end of the day, I know I'm a good mother, I know the facts and that's all that matters xo

 

[HeppiBean]

Thank you songbird, this is what I've been trying to tell people, that any Mum can be good/bad and age isn't necessarily a factor.
As for what you saw New Years Eve, It's so irresponsible, I personally had my last cigarette and glass of wine on Christmas Day and was so proud of myself that I'd managed it! I saw somebody I know lose her baby because of drug use and couldn't sympathise with her when she did... She should have used some more common sense.

And 'feb', don't worry about ranting, I feel like doing the same
xx

 

[flopsybunny]

I agree that age doesn't and shouldn't define people. There are many people who are older in years but very immature just as there are people who are young in years but very mature. What is important is knowing and accepting and understanding the responsibility and sacrifices of having children. I am 23 and don't feel young or old to be having a baby - feels just right to me but I also feel ready mentally. I know loads of girls my age that should definitly wait until they have babies because their maturity levels are too low.

Don't listen to people who try to put you down - you know best!

Xx

 

[pinkymum]

I also don't think age matters either there are lots of great young mums. I think it really depends on the person. You can get crappy older mums and crappy younger mums. I guess I'm considered an older mum being nearly 30. I needed to wait because I wasn't well enough and it wouldn't have been fair for me to have a baby. It's sad that people tend to stereotype and judge young mums. My mum is a district nurse and she was telling me the health visitor at her work was saying a lot of the younger mums could teach the older mums a thing or too lol.

 

[midnight]

i was a young mum too i had my 1st at 18 and i survived i think its actually easier dealing with the sleepless night than it is now but this is my 5th and im almost 30 i would like more sleep lol, age doesnt matter the way i see in i will be 46 when my youngest is 16 i will then get to do everything people do when they are younger only i will appreciate it more and i will have my children/grandchildren here to enjoy it alongside me

 

[Emmamb]

I was a young mum,fell pregnant at 15 and had him at 16,then had my 2nd wen I had just turned 19. I'm 28 now and just had my 4th.

There is a lot of bad press about young mums but I managed with support from my family and then partner who was 19 and able to buy us a house and provide for us til I started workwen my son was 5 months old-I've since worked continuosly,finished school with straight grade c's,went to college a few years ago and did nvq 2&3 in hairdressing. There's a lot more support offered for younger mums now and my advice would b to take anything offered.

Oh and I need to add that my eldest (12) announced he wants to be a doctor and with his grades there's no reason he won't be-who'd of expected that from a schoolgirl mum? Lol xx

 

[TeenMum17]

Well im 17 and im pregnant with my first. Much to everyones disbelief i have only been with one boy who i was with for 4 years before he left me when he found out i was pregnant. I left school with 12 GCSE's and i am currently working towards my NVQ 3 in Childcare which i hope to complete before the baby comes. Im a very mature person and i always have been with the things ive had to deal with growing up. I know ill be as good as any older mother because people seem to think that because were younger the love mothers feel for their children wont be there, but of course it will. Im not proud that im sitting here in this possition however i am proud of how im dealing with it and how i havent run away. Im not gonna be one of these mums living off benifits and not working. When the baby is old enough im going to go back to college to do my NVQ 4 and then to Uni to do my proffessional status in childcare.
I hate stereotypes.

 

[abbiecourt]

i was pregnant when i was 18 hun who cares what they say hun u know your going to be a good mum!! its not nice when people judge without knowing the person gurrrrr.

 

[clairebear22]

I'm 30 (yesterday!). We're pregnant with baby no.1 and I hate how i'm considered an 'older' Mum! I don't feel old at all (apart from the hip pain at the mo lol) yet to the medical people I am!!

I think it shouldn't really matter what age you choose to become a Parent, as long as you're ready and you can provide your little one with love and security who cares what age you are! x

 

[pinkymum]

I'm 30 (yesterday!). We're pregnant with baby no.1 and I hate how i'm considered an 'older' Mum! I don't feel old at all (apart from the hip pain at the mo lol) yet to the medical people I am!!

I think it shouldn't really matter what age you choose to become a Parent, as long as you're ready and you can provide your little one with love and security who cares what age you are! x

Happy Birthday for yesterday I don't like being considered an older mum either, although I'm feeling a little older with all these lovely pregnancy aliments

 

[TeenMum17]

happy birthday!

i have to agree; its discrmination in its own right. If your under a certain age your a "young mum" if your over then your classed as an "older mum" its like they are trying to say your parental ability is affected because of your age.

 

[hopefulmummy]

The problem is is that nearly all of the young mums I've seen or had experience of (15, 16 years old) have lived off benefits and only got pregnant to get a council house of their own. They produce child after child, never work, smoke and blow all their benefits on rubbish.

Obviously there are a lot of young mums who are doing wonderfully, and there are a lot of older mothers who are terrible parents. There is a stereotype in our society amoungnst certain social groups that look down on young parents, mainly because of what they see on the streets and on TV.

It's really great to read about all the girls on the forum trying their best to get qualifications and do the best for their babies.

Personally, I'm so glad I didn't have a child when I was younger (I will be 28 in August), as I would have really felt as though I'd missed out on lots of fun - university, learning, going out, working, travelling. And I would never ever advocate someone purposefully have a baby at a very young age. However, if it happens, it happens and those that do their best only deserve our respect.

 

[cherelle]

I agree with you hopefull mummy. Although I am only 23!

I have been travelling in south east asia, studied, lived in numerous house shares/flats by myself from an early age and had so much fun in my life already. I think older generations sometimes dont realise that for some people adult life and responsibilty starts younger than it used to and lots of people are suprised about my life experience at only 23.

I also agree that a lot of young mums see having a child as an option to an easier life living on benefits etc though and i think thats very sad x

 

[amandapanda]

I'm 30 (yesterday!). We're pregnant with baby no.1 and I hate how i'm considered an 'older' Mum! I don't feel old at all (apart from the hip pain at the mo lol) yet to the medical people I am!!

I think it shouldn't really matter what age you choose to become a Parent, as long as you're ready and you can provide your little one with love and security who cares what age you are! x

If you and Pinky are 'older mums' at 30 what the hell does that make me?? I'm 38 on Monday!!!! Lol xxx

 

[Rachey]

I don't think age matters at all, fair enough yeah you could have a young Mum who drinks/takes drugs all through pregnancy, but you could also have an older pregnant woman doing exactly the same. Evey girl is different and will be ready for children at different times. Personally, I think as long as you can give your little one all the love in the world, that's what matters, no matter what age you are

I agree with the hopefullmummy and cherelle too. A lot of younger girls do get pregnant just to get a house and then live off benefits all their lives, which isn't right.

I'm only 18, me and OH both work and privately rent our flat. We are moving back to my Mums in April for a year, which isn't ideal, but it gives us the chance to save for a mortgage which in the long run can only be a good thing for us and baby

x

 

[tinytoes]

I dont think age matters at all , im 22 and I have Aoibheann and am pregnant again . I find I am constantly having to defend myself .. "oh your just a scrounger with no job and no family" . Actually . I get no benifits , I am qualifed and choose to stay at home and care for my daughter for now and am in a happy relationship . People are very quick to judge .. but I know there are bad eggs out there who get pregnant because they have friends who have children , or who have benefits or a house .

 

[TeenMum17]

I refuse to live off benifits for my entire life as that will just make all my critics correct. I will have to go on Income support whilst im at college studying for my NVQ 4. But as soon as im qualified and baby is old enough to start daycare then i will begin working with children as either a childminder or a nursery nurse.

 

[tinytoes]

I refuse to live off benifits for my entire life as that will just make all my critics correct. I will have to go on Income support whilst im at college studying for my NVQ 4. But as soon as im qualified and baby is old enough to start daycare then i will begin working with children as either a childminder or a nursery nurse.

its not even about benefits , despite my last post . A good mum (of any age) does whatever she has to for her child , whatever way she can and it sounds like your doing just that xx