Babylicious
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yep im hooked [updated with pics iv put on weight!]
- Thread starter trixipaws
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glad you've got your appointment!
.... 
) xx
trixipaws
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ok not updated for while... am sorta struggling right now with my inate programming to lose weight, and trying to maintain a healthy weight for my pregnancy. its SO hard 
and i dont like admitting it to DF coz i kno it wears him down feel so alone!
stayed at my parents' last nite and my lil sis was up from down south for her birthday- so it was back to the old skool with my "old" family (mum, dad, sister- rather than fiance, daughter and bump!)
anyway my mum cooked a meal so we all sat around the table like old days- it was nice! but marred by my sis being her usual bulimic self! we all had chilli and rice with salad- she only had salad- which i thought well its a bit weird not joining in but maybe she'd rather do that than eat then throw up, which is good- but later while we were sat talking she scuttled off to the kitchen to "tidy up" and i could hear her eating the food- then i saw it later in the bottom of the loo
i love her so much, but i think DF is right its best that i dont see her hardly. she does set me off. i felt fat for eating my whole dinner while her stomach was empty! and of course her waist is tiny compared to my bloated pregnant belly lol but i still felt fat next to her! she's not good for me, sadly that upsets me, but i wont confide in DF about this coz him and her hav only just rebuilt bridges and i dont wanna put them back.
oh also iv put on some more weight! i am 7st 10 now- the midwife weighed me last week. i know thats healthier than what i was only 2 months ago even if i wasnt pregnant but i cant help panicking! and hoping half of its water retention! i AM VERY bloated lately, so i do actually think some of it could be just water and not actual weight/fat. eeeeep i shouldnt be thinking like this tho! honestly right now i feel i am putting all my energy into fighting off evil thoughts and behaviour! cant get an app with my special doc for at least 2 more weeks either- gah this is hard!
and i dont like admitting it to DF coz i kno it wears him down feel so alone!stayed at my parents' last nite and my lil sis was up from down south for her birthday- so it was back to the old skool with my "old" family (mum, dad, sister- rather than fiance, daughter and bump!)
anyway my mum cooked a meal so we all sat around the table like old days- it was nice! but marred by my sis being her usual bulimic self! we all had chilli and rice with salad- she only had salad- which i thought well its a bit weird not joining in but maybe she'd rather do that than eat then throw up, which is good- but later while we were sat talking she scuttled off to the kitchen to "tidy up" and i could hear her eating the food- then i saw it later in the bottom of the loo
i love her so much, but i think DF is right its best that i dont see her hardly. she does set me off. i felt fat for eating my whole dinner while her stomach was empty! and of course her waist is tiny compared to my bloated pregnant belly lol but i still felt fat next to her! she's not good for me, sadly
that upsets me, but i wont confide in DF about this coz him and her hav only just rebuilt bridges and i dont wanna put them back. oh also iv put on some more weight! i am 7st 10 now- the midwife weighed me last week. i know thats healthier than what i was only 2 months ago even if i wasnt pregnant but i cant help panicking! and hoping half of its water retention! i AM VERY bloated lately, so i do actually think some of it could be just water and not actual weight/fat. eeeeep i shouldnt be thinking like this tho! honestly right now i feel i am putting all my energy into fighting off evil thoughts and behaviour! cant get an app with my special doc for at least 2 more weeks either- gah this is hard!
Slinky Sarah
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you are doing really well hun you CAN do it. You ARE doing it. You can fight it and you are doing so well at fighting it keep going.
FWIW i drank and ate shit the first pregnancy (i didnt no at first like) and still lost whilst eating healthy and doing everything TTC wise, so dont fret about that ok. Take care chick here if you need me xxx
FWIW i drank and ate shit the first pregnancy (i didnt no at first like) and still lost whilst eating healthy and doing everything TTC wise, so dont fret about that ok. Take care chick here if you need me xxx
for you.This makes me very sad indeed, because you are absolutely gorgeous.
I spent the majority of my upper teenage years in treatment for anorexia. At my lowest weight I was 86lbs, just over 6 stone and even at only 5'4" I will say now that I looked terrible. And that right there... took a hell of a lot of therapy!
I wouldn't get so down on yourself for feeling you can't cope because it isn't that easy! I know. Try your very best to remain positive and focused. Think of everything you have and what you want for your kids in the future. That kept me going. The need to be a mum drove me on further. Periods got messed up, friends left me and I felt like I messed my entire family up, which I did. I didn't want any of that.
You will have your days when everything is too much but everyone does! Problems like these don't just disappear over night, it takes a long time and a lot of will power! I really hope everything starts to go well for you and if you ever need to talk I'm just a PM away!
Katie
xx
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