**June 2019 Testing Thread**

[soffphie]

Also my lovely dog / puppy is lovely! She knows when im upset. I think its cause i got her as a temp distraction to ttc! Crazy! And I think all shes known is me in a mess and upset shes been extra cuddly today she will look at me and ill say its ok and she was try and sit on my shoulders and smoother me with kisses. Ah i just love her so much sometimes. Oh and shes a big labrador who tries to sit on my shoulders if you can imagine

 

[chattychar1990]

Sorry that you feel like you are falling back into your old ways @soffphie. This journey really is a hard one, especially when you have been on it for so long.
I think you are really brave for noticing that you are feeling so low and you have booked some counselling. I think it is definitely what you need. You will be able to let all your emotions out and this will be good for you.
Going forward, i would just try to relax. Get rid of your OPK's (i have done that) don't track anything, don't look out for any symptoms and see how you go until you and your DH go for your private testing that you are looking into.
I thought i was totally obsessing over it and it was bringing me down so that's why i decided to just relax and let it all go and i really hope it makes a difference.
Us ladies are always here for each other on here so don't feel like you can speak to us all.
Big hugs to you hun i hope you start to feel better very soon. x

 

[soffphie]

Sorry that you feel like you are falling back into your old ways @soffphie. This journey really is a hard one, especially when you have been on it for so long.
I think you are really brave for noticing that you are feeling so low and you have booked some counselling. I think it is definitely what you need. You will be able to let all your emotions out and this will be good for you.
Going forward, i would just try to relax. Get rid of your OPK's (i have done that) don't track anything, don't look out for any symptoms and see how you go until you and your DH go for your private testing that you are looking into.
I thought i was totally obsessing over it and it was bringing me down so that's why i decided to just relax and let it all go and i really hope it makes a difference.
Us ladies are always here for each other on here so don't feel like you can speak to us all.
Big hugs to you hun i hope you start to feel better very soon. x

Thanks. I watched a video on utube today and cried a lot and felt less alone. Infertility and depression are easy videos to find, i feel less alone a bit. Thanks for your kind words i hope counselling will help me better cope with my emotions and when im caught in them i dont do anything rash and stupid that later with a clear head i regret. Thats my biggest issue at the moment processing every emotion from depressed to worried about anything and everything.

 

[xMillie]

Hi guys i just wanted to put a thread as with everyone im sure the time of BFN's are the worst.
been 19 months now this coming month. been really down, upset and wound up today. more then normal. so much so its made me wonder if its worth carrying on this. i have always had a touch of anxiety and depression but ive just noticed myself falling more and more into it again, it left me in 2017 and i never thought it was possible to feel it again and here i am. im angry, im worrying and im lashing out (not violent way just being horrible to people etc). its been going on for a few months now but its just got worse and worse since the beginning of this year. im sorry to post this here, but i am so at my wits end. i just feel like im going crazy and slowly losing it. its impacting my life so much. its frustrating as also my husband says he doesnt feel like that (depressed and what not) that we have a good life and why would he be unhappy? i just dont get it at all. i said to him are you really happy in life? and he said yes basically.
im being referred for councilling by the doctors and have first appointment soon (telephone) 17th. i think i need it now. again, sorry to write this here it just feels like no one understands and i am completely on my own and hiding this big secret and pretending how happy i am to everyone.

I’m sorry Sophie, it really is a hard journey. If it’s something you really want of course it’s worth carrying on x

I know men feel it less, or maybe they just don’t want to show emotion. Like my husband says he really wants a baby too but says he very rarely gets sad about it because it’s something he can’t change, so he just gets on with life and doesn’t see any point letting it bother him. (I so wish I could do 100% that!!)

Councilling is a good place to start and I really hope it will help you. If you ever want to chat or rant about anything I’m sure there are lots of ladies here too that wouldn’t mind listening as well.

 

[soffphie]

I’m sorry Sophie, it really is a hard journey. If it’s something you really want of course it’s worth carrying on x

I know men feel it less, or maybe they just don’t want to show emotion. Like my husband says he really wants a baby too but says he very rarely gets sad about it because it’s something he can’t change, so he just gets on with life and doesn’t see any point letting it bother him. (I so wish I could do 100% that!!)

Councilling is a good place to start and I really hope it will help you. If you ever want to chat or rant about anything I’m sure there are lots of ladies here too that wouldn’t mind listening as well.

Thanks Millie been feeling awful so got DH to leave work early. I ended up crying at him like ugly crying & he said it was his life goal as well but hes knows its ganna happen. I dunno how he can be so bloody positive.

 

[Kickingk]

Hi guys i just wanted to put a thread as with everyone im sure the time of BFN's are the worst.
been 19 months now this coming month. been really down, upset and wound up today. more then normal. so much so its made me wonder if its worth carrying on this. i have always had a touch of anxiety and depression but ive just noticed myself falling more and more into it again, it left me in 2017 and i never thought it was possible to feel it again and here i am. im angry, im worrying and im lashing out (not violent way just being horrible to people etc). its been going on for a few months now but its just got worse and worse since the beginning of this year. im sorry to post this here, but i am so at my wits end. i just feel like im going crazy and slowly losing it. its impacting my life so much. its frustrating as also my husband says he doesnt feel like that (depressed and what not) that we have a good life and why would he be unhappy? i just dont get it at all. i said to him are you really happy in life? and he said yes basically.
im being referred for councilling by the doctors and have first appointment soon (telephone) 17th. i think i need it now. again, sorry to write this here it just feels like no one understands and i am completely on my own and hiding this big secret and pretending how happy i am to everyone.

So sorry that you are feeling so low Sophie. We are on cycle 16 which came to abrupt end with AF yesterday at CD23- this has never happened to me but I am finding the more months that go by the more symptoms I get and the more irregularities I come across that get my hopes up and then dashes them just as quick.

It is good you are getting counselling to put you in a better place.

Moan/thread/rant as much as u need to here sometimes we need to let it all out to people who understand our situations and heart ache. The little monthly cry in the shower when the witch turns up. My OH doesn’t get upset and is at the point of ‘if it happens it happens if it don’t then it don’t. He doesn’t understand why I get so sad- but then they also doesn’t have the witch as a monthly reminder like we do. I think our mindsets would be totally different if we didn’t have the symptoms/af as a constant reminder.

I go through various emotions when AF arrives too. I have a cry, then try and positive spin it and then get a little angry that I am failing/broken. I hate this cycle and I hate not feeling good enough. But there is nothing i can do about it but keep trying.

My dog looks after me too at home which has been amazing and I keep surrounding myself with my friends and planning holidays/weekends out to keep my mind busy.

Big hugs to u, I am/we are here if you need to talk xx

 

[xMillie]

I agree, it’s so much harder when af shows up or we know it’s coming. Its a horrible reminder that we are not pregnant and have got to wait around another month before we could possibly even be pregnant again

 

[MayBMore]

It's a bit quite on here hope everyone is ok?

Sorry to read that you are having a horrible time Soffphie, it must be mentally exhausting on this roller coaster of what if? What if?... and then feeling rock bottom again. I'm not surprised it is triggering for you. Sending hugs xx

 

[MayBMore]

*quiet* - not quite!

 

[chattychar1990]

I agree @MayBMore - it’s the quietest thread I have been on!
Sending lots of dust your way ladies xx

 

[SugaryIris]

16dpo, This progesterone is delaying af so much, I have the worst hormonal acne of my life, big cystic acne all over!!

I’ve been given a second test day at 18dpo so I am stuck in this hellish hormonal limbo for another few days!

 

[Hendy1]

8DPO for me, no unusual symptoms. First week of the TWW went really fast but think these next few days are going to drag!

 

[chattychar1990]

16dpo, This progesterone is delaying af so much, I have the worst hormonal acne of my life, big cystic acne all over!!

I’ve been given a second test day at 18dpo so I am stuck in this hellish hormonal limbo for another few days!

@SugaryIris - i really hope you implanted late and you will get your BFP on Friday xx

 

[SockVortex]

6dpo for me (though it’s a guestimate). Nothing unusual to report.

 

[chattychar1990]

8DPO for me, no unusual symptoms. First week of the TWW went really fast but think these next few days are going to drag!

@Hendy1 - i really hope its your turn very soon, you've been on this journey far too long xx

 

[Hendy1]

@Hendy1 - i really hope its your turn very soon, you've been on this journey far too long xx

Thank you Char, it feels far too long to me too

 

[SugaryIris]

@SugaryIris - i really hope you implanted late and you will get your BFP on Friday xx

Thanks hun, you are sweet but I’m sure it’s not the case, my boobs have stopped hurting etc which is usually a sign af is on the way xx

 

[soffphie]

Thank you Char, it feels far too long to me too

we are around the same time of starting the ttc journey. it IS too long. hope your ok? have you began fertility testing yet?

 

[xMillie]

@soffphie hope you’re feeling a little bit better today x


Could you put me down to test on the 26th please? I had my peak opk yesterday so I think l’ll be around 12 or 13dpo then

 

[chattychar1990]

I am CD14 today - haven't used any opk's this cycle and have been DTD as and when we please. I got a feeling i may be ovulating today, i feel a little uncomfortable in the stomach and if we going by last cycle i ovulated on this cycle day.
Really wanted to take the laid back approach as i know atm we aren't very likely to conceive after getting the OH results so just taking each day as it comes tbh.
Appointment is next Tuesday so counting down the days. xx