***** January 2015 Mummy's *****

[CARNAT22]

Have noticed it recently at work but thought I was imagining things, although now I am convinced I am not.

Both people I work most closely with are being quite hostile and bitchy?

I've worked with my manager for 13 years (she drives me mad, she is completely chaotic but we've always rubbed along OK) and I've worked with other colleague for 10 years (I would consider her a friend), they have both been "off" with me of late and now it's openly hostile.

Feeling quite sad actually as obviously they are both pissed off I am on maternity leave again and they've had to train a replacement again blah, blah, blah.

Examples are my manager speaking to me really aggressively in front of people, correcting my emails and cc'ing other people in [not unheard of generally but she is doing it a lot] but my colleague is taking the biscuit.

We have a shared email drive and she is going through and asking me out loud 'is this done?', 'did you do this?', 'can you close this?'... most stuff has been done I've just not moved the emails but everyone else we sit with can hear this constant barrage of what appears to be me not having done stuff I should have???

Also colleague is leaving stuff for me that she should do, ignoring emails I am sending (asking her discreetly if she has dealt with this and that) but the most upsetting thing is that she is all but ignoring me.

We always take turns to make tea, I did this morning as normal and when it came to this afternoon's tea I eventually asked if she was making some and she said she didn't fancy it. Not a problem, I just made my own cup and then she went down after and made herself a cup, She is 40 years old for the love of God.

She has made a lot of references to me "swanning off again" and "having a year off" but now she is just being nasty. She also told me I could have Xmas Eve as she didn't want to take it and then a few days later suddenly she has to take Xmas Eve off... I know for a fact she will be spending Xmas day in her PJ's, eating pizza and ignoring the festivities as she hates Xmas...

My manager I can handle as she is a law unto herself anyway but my colleague is really getting to me. We sit next to each other and usually have a lovely ambience between us???

Sorry for the moan.

Manager is off from Friday and colleague from 24th so I don't have long to suffer.

Really shocked at how spiteful some people can be!

X

 

[BunnyN]

Kiwi yep that is a bit of a jump with your BP. That's what they look for.... big differences. As I'm always high end of normal it wouldn't be so bad if I had those readings - theyd still monitor me though - but I can see why they are keeping a very close eye on it with you.

X

At my last MW appointment my bp was 145/100 which isn't very good. She was a bit worried about but then she took it on the other arm and it was a bit lower so she said she would use that reading. She also believes me when I tell her the readings I get at home are a lot lower. I think you are right though CARNAT. I have the tendancy for high bp anyway so its not such a big jump for me. Although half the pregnancy I had low BP for me. It got down to 100/58 at one point! That made me feel really dizzy though. My BP seems to have the tendency to go up and down really easily. If I rest a lot it seems to help to control it so I'm kind of half on bed rest to try and keep it down. That way I'm managing to keep it around 135/83 most of the time but as soon as I do too much or get stressed it shoots up higher.

That is quite high Bunny, but if the MW is satisfied then I'd try not to worry too much.

My cut off point is 90 for my diastolic reading, they aren't too worried about the systolic though. If I hit 90 and it doesn't reduce then it's off for monitoring! Ironic that I hate having my BP taken, it shoots up in a medical setting and the result is going to have it taken several times in an hour??? Hoping to avoid it this time, had it with James at 38w. Although with old fashioned BP monitor {where they actually use a stethoscope} my BP was fine!

As I say try not to worry, if you get OK readings and aren't feeling any other symptoms then I am sure all is just perfect. I am sure your MW has told you to look out for headaches, swelling etc.

X

I think the only reason she wasn't as worried as she would have been is because she knows I get lower readings at home and I had high bp last time too but have never had symptoms of PE. I have the same problem as you with white coat syndrome! It also didn't help that LO threw up in the car on the way there and we arrived late. She did lecture me about resting a lot and looking out for any symptoms of PE though. Every time I get a slight headache it makes me worry now! I'm boarderline for going on meds for it but I'd rather avoid that because the BP meds I know you can take during pregnancy are bad for asthma.

 

[ceecee22]

Nat, that sounds really frustrating. Nothing worse than bitchy colleagues but my pet hate is someone trying to call you out on something in front of other people. They only do it to make themselves look better, but it's so petty.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think you were pregnant when you went back after James mat leave were you? It's not your fault that the government give women 12 months off for maternity and it's kind of a given that once most people have a baby, another one follows in the next couple of years. They'd have really hated me as I went back from maternity leave already 18 weeks pregnant!!! Do you think your colleague is jealous that you are having a baby? (don't know her situation re: partner and kids but guessing none if that's how she normally spends Christmas day).

You'll just have to grit your teeth, dig in and count down the days until you finish. Are you getting some time off over Christmas so you get a break?

 

[BunnyN]

That sounds like a stressful environment to be working in all day Nat :/. Have you thought about asking her straight out? You caould say she doesn't seem herself recently, is she stressed about something or have you done something to upset her? Even if she doesn't admmit anything it might embarass her into being nicer.

 

[CARNAT22]

Tapatalk is down and I've not been able to get on.

Jolly hope all is ok?

Kiwi are you still set for induction tomorrow?

X

 

[tinselcat]

Jolly - hope you and your girlie are ok

Carnat - that sounds very unpleasant and I feel sorry for you. There's no need to be spiteful & it's not like they haven't had plenty of notice to sort things out either. As you've been with the company for a long time, it's also not like you've just arrived and are milking them unfairly - as a woman of child-bearing age, you're entitled to actually have a family!!

Is it possible to have a quiet word with either of them to say that you're finding their behaviour to be upsetting?
Otherwise, I don't think you should sit there and take it. If your colleague is loudly asking if you've done work or not, then 'loudly' copy the management team in on those emails you're sending to find out about the tasks that are her responsibility.

It may seem childish but I've learned that if you don't defend/speak up for yourself in a work environment, everyone's opinion of you sours while people's perceptions of incompetence/laziness etc get spread - unfair or not. Go girl!! xxx

 

[Jolly81]

Oh nat, she sounds awful! I agree about gritting your teeth and you will soon be leaving, and with Xmas in the middle hopefully that will break things up for you. I know you're the kind of soul to be the bigger person, so just keep being who you are. In fact it will annoy them even more I seriously hate stuff like that.

We're ok, lots of movement today so I'm happy. Sorry I didn't reply earlier, hopefully didn't worry anyone!! Work is driving me insane at the moment. There's so much sickness and My team are making so many mistakes and the reviewers of their work is missing them which is resulting in lots of time and effort trying to explain to senior management why it's happening. Today I started at 7am and wasn't able to go to the loo and get something to eat (I missed brekkie too) until 2.30pm!!!! I'm pregnant!!!!!!!

Luckily I only have 7 working days left. I stay v calm on the outside at work as I'm fighting for promotion which I find out about next week or so, so I have to keep my game face on, but I'm SO DONE!!!!!!

Phew!!! Rant rant rant!!!

Hope you guys are ok?

Kiwi good luck tomorrow if it all goes ahead!!! Xxx

 

[ChickenDinner]

Good luck for tomorrow Kiwi - hope it all goes smoothly x

Nat, sounds like some proper jealousy going on there, pure and simple. I think if you ask her quietly if she's okay and if you'd upset her, she'll probably feel very silly indeed carrying on like that if you've tried to resolve it with her x

I'm starting to get all wobbly with a likely induction next week, I haven't done half of the things I meant to do before hand. I don't think I considered how tired I'd be. Just had a recovery day today after managing all of 2 things yesterday.

Hospital bag still not packed, but most of it in piles on the floor ready. I've got 3 sizes of clothes, 5lb, 7.5lb and newborn and midi nappies just in case. I think she'll be an alright size but I'm mindful of when my niece was born and they thought she was going to be about 8lb at least and she came out 5lb13!

How is everyone feeling about Christmas? It's doing my head in personally. It's a time of year I always love and enjoy regardless of the situation, but this year it's irritating me every time someone mentions it. Maybe because it's one more thing to organise, I don't know

 

[BunnyN]

Has there been news from Kiwi in the last couple of days? Hope all is going well.

 

[Kiwi_53]

Hey girls sorry for not getting i. Touch, but got my last steroid injection lastnight, and am getting told the plan this morning at 8. They are still hopeing to induce today, but they have had a seriously busy time yesterday, and the monitoring is all looking okay so they are happy that is not today defiantly before the weekend. It's just trying to find a space for me, as its a very busy hospital and a very sudden thing. But at least we're in the right place and nothing too bad is happening so far. Will try and keep you all posted, but hopeing today is the day. Xxx

 

[ceecee22]

Good luck if it's today Kiwi. We'll all be thinking of you.

Chicken I hadn't realised that you were being induced early too, must have missed that post. Eek, more december babies. I don't feel overly ready for Christmas this year and it's usually my favourite time of year. Think it's because my parents have moved away recently and we were supposed to be going to them. Not sure I want to be 2.5 hours away from home when I hit 37 weeks as that's when my son was born, but not sure I can face cooking a Christmas dinner here at 37 weeks when I just just to relax. Bah humbug haha

Jolly I feel your pain on pushing for a promotion so having to hold your tongue. Can't believe you had to go several hours without using the loo or eating though...that's terrible for anyone but totally unacceptable when you're pregnant!

 

[CARNAT22]

It's def going to be soon Kiwi, so if not today use this as an opportunity to chill and relax.. I know being in hospital must be so boring but you won't get much rest afterwards

I am sure induction has thrown you through a loop too Chicken, it must be a nightmare to be thinking about Christmas and a pre-Christmas induction.
I had James in Mid November and was only getting into the swing of things by Christmas time (he was 5-6 weeks then). I reckon a nice low key Xmas in your PJ's this year???

Glad your naughty little girl gave you some reassurance Jolly. I am in complete shock about the toilet/ food situation. I have a weak bladder without being pregnant so that just makes me break out in a cold sweat. I'd have wet myself - a few times probably Good luck with your promotion hun!

I still have 15 working days left

Have decided I might take a duvet day tomorrow (IE a sickie), I've never done it before... well not for years and they always used to be hangover days lol.

We're going to be out quite late tonight and I just feel like I need a day indoors to chill? Although James wakes up early and he is hardly condusive to a relaxing day so maybe I will come to work after-all.

Had a crappy sleep last night. James was moaning and whining from about 1am -2.30am [in his sleep - bad dream??], then OH was snoring and I was crunched up on the side of the bed as the cat decided she wanted to sleep with us?

Going to take the higher ground today and just ignore my manager and colleague if they are still being a bit catty.

Even my HR lady pissed me off yesterday. I was making half a sandwich about 4pm and she came into the kitchen and said "every-time I see you, you're eating"... She just got a look. She is one of those women obsessed with weight and when I lost a fair bit of weight a few years back she like a groupie - I am her daughters age?

Anyhoo best make some toast and crack on with the day!

X

 

[BunnyN]

Kiwi- it must be fustrating being kept in suspense but I guess as long as they are keeping a careful eye on him and he is okay it does nothing but good for him to get the extra time.

NAT-sounds like you need a duvet day!

 

[Kiwi_53]

Well been assessed and I am getting induced today, but when they checked me I was already 2cm so they just sweeped the membranes and am waiting for a spot on labour ward and they will pop my waters! So really is getting close now girls so nervous for what's to come, but so excited to meet baby! X

 

[CARNAT22]

Oh wow Kiwi, 2cm already is amazing! Especially at 37 weeks?

Means baby is def ready to come and meet you both.

Will be stalking to see how it all goes for you.

Lots of love.

X

 

[BunnyN]

Being 2cm sounds really positive. Hopefully he won't need too much encouragement to come out!

 

[ceecee22]

Eeeek, Kiwi, how exciting. Can't wait to hear how it's gone and for pics/update etc My waters randomly popped with my son when I was 37 weeks and I was 4cm when I got to the hospital an hour later. Guess a lot of people start dilating quite early without noticing. Have you been feeling much extra pressure down there?

Is anyone crampy at all? I've been a bit crampy since last night and I wondered if it was because the student midwife and my normal midwife had a right old prod and dig into my tummy yesterday to see what position baby was in. It was uncomfortable when they did it and a bit tender. Not sure if the cramps are from that or just because.

 

[CARNAT22]

I certainly didn't dilate without noticing it.

I noticed every single, horrible, painful moment of the 36h it took to get me to 5cm.



X

 

[Mrs_W]

Good luck kiwi. Hope everything goes ok.

 

[megsmeadow]

Best of luck kiwi!!
Nope I didn't dilate without assistance either, the two sweeps I had my cervix was very high and posterior. The first mw even commented she had little fingers so no way she could reach, cheeky mare, don't know what she was implying!!