***Jan & Feb Mummy and Baby***

[OMGbabyno3]

Hi,

Gabriella had her jabs this week and is feeling a bit poorly I think...and is very snotty!

Had her weighed and she's piling on the pounds...she's about 19 now!!!

She's growing out of most of her clothes so need to stock up but in shops all I can find is winter stuff-how annoying!

My weight loss is rubbish! Keep losing motivation.

Have started couch to 5k though which seems good. Just need to stick to it, hard to find a time of day that's not too hot to jog though!

Older two are back at school now. And Gabriella is starting nursery next week, just 2 mornings to give me a little time and socialise her. Not sure how well I'll cope, lol.

X

 

[Kiwi_53]

Hey Brody doing good too, that's him nine months today, how the time flys! He is a right chunky monkey at 23lb 12oz but he is just a really big boy in general as he is now even outgrowing some 12-18, so very long too. We have five teeth at various stages of being through and fully in ,we have had a bit of trouble with them, but nothing out of the ordinary. My weight loss is going good, eventually got the motivation and am now back in all pre pregnancy clothes, just the last few pounds to lose to make it back weight wise too.
I have been very lucky with all aspects of being a mummy, my only problem I have is babies father, there is a lot happened during my pregnancy and they have carried on now, just wondering if there are any other single mummy's having problems with babies father?

I have not been keeping upto date with forum so really must catch up, hope your all getting on well though, and will read up soon xxx

 

[tinselcat]

Carnat, I'm guessing Bee must be a slim little girl if she's outgrowing her clothes at that weight (bet she is super cute)?

We are at about 17 lbs at just over 8 months and starting to outgrow 6-9 months due to big feet and I think the clothes shrink a bit in the tumble dryer (when I compare new & old bibs!)

Carnat & Kiwi, well done on your weight loss! Mine is currently going very slowly but I am 1 or 2 lbs above pre-preg weight.

OMG - wow, Gabriella sounds like she has grown a LOT!!

Kiwi - have been having problems with my partner but I am currently denying him access via my solicitors. What kind of issues are you having?

Bunny, Toni, Kiwi - wow so many teeth! None here yet.

xx

 

[Kiwi_53]

Tinselcat- a quick summary would be, babies dad and I split when pregnant due to him being verbally abusive with one incident of him breaking his hand due to hitting a wall due to being mad at me and excessive alcohol use. He just seemed not to handle is becoming pregnant atall, even though it was planned. Things have only gotten worse, he is controlling, to the point he has been stalking and harrassing me, and even pushing me about is he sees me, but up untill now I have been so frightened to do anything about it. I have allowed him access, but yet he will say I am keeping his son away from him. And much more. It's really a lot to explain but it's increasingly affected my son as he is nervous and scared of his father due to him only coming to see him and shouting and harrassing me, and not trying to bond with his son. I really am at my wits end now, I am not going to allow it to harm Brody, but don't k ow what to do. I just ask him to leave when he shouts, but I myself feel so nervous around him! It's strange how you think you know someone untill this happens. (I said quick summary, hasn't ended up being quick, and there is a whole lot more)
Sorry to bring this problem to the forum but sometimes feels like it all gets onto of me, and it's nice to vent/see others experiences. Xxx

 

[CARNAT22]

Kiwi, my best friend is a family barrister so I know a little about it (thankfully not first hand)

You need to make this official, you need to report your ******* ex to the police and go through the courts re access and finances etc..start screen shotting any abusive messages, keep a diary of all recent events you can recall.

On a more practical level, do not let him in your house any more. Does he just turn up unannounced?

You have done the hard part leaving him but it sounds as though he still has a lot of control over you? If he is scaring you and the baby you must, must, must report this.

Next time something happens, call the police in fact call the police each and every time it happens.

This man sounds horrendous and you need to make that final stand.

Sorry this has happened and we'll done for all the courage you have shown so far BUT go the whole hog and report this scum bag.

X

 

[Toni.C]

I have officially lost 1 stone and 7 pounds

We are currently planning Alfie's christening for October and it's getting expensive and stressful!

kiwi- I agreed with what Carnat said. Don't let him in your house and as soon as he turns up and gets abusive please call the police. Well done for standing up to it and speaking out about the verbal abuse. It must be so hard to deal with, especially with a baby involved too xx

 

[Kiwi_53]

Thanks for your advice, I have been keeping all messages and phonecalls (there have been a lot) including missed calls. Sometimes as many as 16 missed calls in a row, alone with 20 messages asking where am at and who I'm with.
Thankfully he has never turned up at the house on a day that he wasn't suppose to,but he has threatened it, so quite often feel I have to lock the door just sitting at home. But timing wise is a different storey, I have told him a time to come, and he will arrive upto an hour before and will just stroll in like he owns the place, doesn't say anything to Brody for ten minutes and usually starts harrassing me instead. He has got people on the lookout for me out and about, and they will text/phone him to tell him where I am. He is just taking it too far. I have always told him that I wanted him to be an active part of Brodys life, but as a positive part, but its becoming more obvious that Brody is a different baby when he is about and it breaks my heart to see it. I recently spoke to my health visitor who advised much the same as yourself and I do think now is the time to take proper action as you say, because his control is effecting both Brody and me now. And it's got to stop.
Again thanks for your help, and listening, sometimes it's difficult to speak about it all, as I worry so much about what will happen in the long run, regarding contact and any access he will get, as currently he has no bond and what seems no regard for Brodys happiness or wellbeing.

Still trying to catch up on the forum, seems the only chance I get to do anything is when he sleeps (so much to do in such little time haha)

Xxx

 

[tinselcat]

Hi Kiwi, that sounds very frightening and I am sorry to hear you are suffering that. I have gone on the Freedom Domestic Violence programme (a 12-week course) to understand what that means and your partner is certainly very much falling under that. Domestic abuse includes emotional abuse, is ALL about one partner trying to control the other, and you are also being subjected to bullying intimidating behaviour. None of this is acceptable, and stalking and harrassing sounds dangerous too.

If you speak with your health visitor they may be able to hook you up with some supportive services in the area (e.g. womens' centres who can offer programmes like the one I did, and other practical support) and do not hesitate to call the police if you feel in any danger. Pushing someone under these circumstances counts as common assault, and it IS a crime. It may be worth reporting it to the police now.

I reported my husband to the police about 4 months after the incident where I left him and these days the police are supposed to be a lot more understanding of the issues involved.

You may also want to notify social services, so that his behaviour goes on record (don't worry, they won't take baby away - which was my fear about them!) in case he demands access in the future.

You are able to withhold access to the baby from him - I did this via a solicitor, and he would have to go to court and spend thousands to get an order that means he is able to see the baby a certain amount of time per month, but as baby is still very young this would be extremely limited.

You may also be thinking about the impact on the baby of your ex-partner's continued behaviour - if the baby continues to be exposed to this toxic behaviour it will eventually impact him more, so that may help your resolve when dealing with your partner.

Lastly, a number of men blame their behaviour on other things, such as alcohol abuse etc. This is all just an excuse, the problem is not the alcohol (otherwise we would all turn into raving maniacs when drunk), it is the underlying person seeking to control and dominate you.

If you need more support via this forum do ask xx

 

[tinselcat]

The more I think about this Kiwi, the more concerned I am for you. His behaviour, which is already serious, could escalate at any point.

Some useful links:

https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/
http://www.womensaid.org.uk/

I think the victim support people can help you take an injunction out against him so that he can't come near you/the baby (or presumably contact you). Then if he breaches the terms of the injunction, you can call the police and they can arrest him straight away. You may feel torn about doing that to someone who was your partner for a while, but you deserve not to be frightened or intimidated in any way, and I'm sure he isn't going to stop behaving like this until something drastic is done.

Good luck hun xx

 

[CARNAT22]

I am glad you replied TC. I know you have unfortunately had some horrible first hand experience so I knew you'd have some useful advice.

X

 

[Kiwi_53]

Thank you for all of your support and advice, I am going to try and look to getting it all sorted as it's just gone too far now, and like you say, maybe drastic action is what it will take. I will hopefully be back with brighter news the next time, and will have caught up with all the last pages of updates on how everyone is doing.
Thanks again xxx

 

[tinselcat]

Keep us updated Kiwi, and good luck with everything xx Thinking of you!! x

 

[BunnyN]

Hi girls! Hope everyone is doing well!

Guess what, I got a BFP today!!

 

[CARNAT22]

OMG Bunny. Massive congratulations!!! A June baby?

I have utmost respect for you as I couldn't cope with another baby!! My two run me ragged as it is.

Lovely news though, how are you feeling?

X

 

[TS1982]

Aw Bunny I'm delighted for you xx happy and healthy 9 months xxx

 

[BunnyN]

At the moment I'm just excited, I'm sure the paniic will set in at some point, lol. Honestly not sure how I am going to cope but sure I will somehow . OH has cut back on his work hours which helps. Only 10dpo today so early days still. A few mild symptoms but not looking forward to the sickness which is bound to set in soon. We would have waited longer but I am 36 so decided to go for it. It was a bit of a shock to get prgnant the 1st month.

 

[tinselcat]

Oh wow Bunny, congratulations!! Very happy for you and good luck xx

 

[Toni.C]

Congratulations Bunny! Fantastic news. X

So many BFPs in the air at the moment, it's almost making me want to try for another one...

We've got Alfie's christening next week. SO stressful. I've got no outfit, no decorations, no food...no idea! On the upside at least he has something to wear (bound to have a poo explosion in it before the church just because it's cream, cashmere and expensive!) and we have cake to eat

 

[mrsjohnson88]

Hello ladies, I haven't been on here in forever!!! How is everyone? Can't believe my lg is 7.5 months now, totally crazy. Congratulations on the bfp Bunny and anyone else who I've missed. I'll have to find sometime to read back a bit and catch up.
I've been starting up a new business so haven't had a second to get on here so feel totally out of the loop xxx

 

[OMGbabyno3]

Congratulations Bunny!

MrsJohnson...what's your new business? Good luck with it!

We're good this end, Gabriella still doesn't eat a great deal, but is much more interested in BLW than purées.

x