can you actually afford to have a baby?

[redbear]

There are defiantly flaws because we are on minimum wage minus the petrol we would actually be better off on full benefits! I looked into childcare and its more than my wage! or close enough that its just not worth it i would rather have time with my babies than work for nothing. Its ridiculous minimum wage shouldn't be so low, after childcare you should still have money left if you work!
If we could work for more than minimum wage we could but at the minute there is no better paid jobs it took him a year to find that one, he is a qualified Joiner and used to be on £9 an hour as an apprentice until he was made redundant. If we waited until he was in a better paid job we would be waiting a lot of years yet. x

 

[Happyfeet]

There are defiantly flaws because we are on minimum wage minus the petrol we would actually be better off on full benefits! I looked into childcare and its more than my wage! or close enough that its just not worth it i would rather have time with my babies than work for nothing. Its ridiculous minimum wage shouldn't be so low, after childcare you should still have money left if you work!
If we could work for more than minimum wage we could but at the minute there is no better paid jobs it took him a year to find that one, he is a qualified Joiner and used to be on £9 an hour as an apprentice until he was made redundant. If we waited until he was in a better paid job we would be waiting a lot of years yet. x

Well said! It's blooming hard out there! My husband took his minimum wage job because it was the very first job he was offered whilst on JSA. I'm proud of him for going out and earning the bread we put on our table, even if some people out there don't recognise the fact that he's providing for his family the best way he can at the moment.

As it happens, I don't care if he sits on minimum wage or close to it for years - times are hard at the moment, he's lucky to even have a job! Do I think it's a fair wage for his skill level? No. But there are all levels of educated people in the same boat so we have to pull our socks up and crack on.

I'm pregnant and don't give a stuff if somebody thinks it would have been more mature to wait however many years until he earns more. With my troubles with being pregnant and the fact that this baby has been on the cards for 2.5 years, I'm embracing it with both hands, skint or not, we'll make it work.

 

[diane]

Exactly! I still can't believe minimum wage is being brought into this! As long as we can provide clothes/food/shelter etc for our children, then really, where exactly is the problem with having a family whilst on minimum wage? We could wait around for years and years to maybe move up the career ladder, but for some people, that NEVER happens.

 

[Iriki]

I agree, minimum wage needs to be in line with the cost of living. But until it is, I think people have to tailor their aspirations to their financial capabilities.
What's wrong with waiting to be in a better financial situation before you start your family? I was 33 when I had my son and 38 when I had my daughter in Dec. I don't consider myself a geriatric but as a result of waiting, we have a lovely family home, savings, disposable income and whatever else we get stressed about it's not about putting food on the table or paying for the kids classes or school fees.
Don't get me wrong, we have to budget like everyone else, we're dairy farmers and have overheads to meet and bank managers to keep happy!
But my point is we had to wait to start our family until we were in a financial position to do so, and I struggle with the idea that people can't do the same. I want to do the best for my family ( as i imagine we all do) so bringing children into a situation where I would be relying on benefits and vouchers to feed and clothe them would not sit well with me. Especially when it can be avoided.
Life happens, none of us knows what's round the corner and we could all end up on benefits at some stage to get us through a tough time. As an emergency measure. But I strongly believe that nobody is entitled to be on benefits long term simply by virtue of the fact that their income can not meet their expenditure once children enter into the mix. The state doesn't have any responsibility for the conception of children why should we expect the state to provide for them?

 

[Froslass]

Minimum wage is different completely IMO.

It's money that has been earned.

The problem in my eyes isn't the amount of money required to raise a child, but the sense of entitlement. I'm not talking about people who are trying to get a job, or trying the better themselves. There are people on benefits who are desperately trying to get off them.

I think the girls were referring to women who never have any intention of ever working, think its okay for them to have kids despite having no earned income. It's completely different to those who fall on hard times, unexpected pregnancy, on benefits whilst at uni/studying etc...

It's not that these ladies don't have a right to have children, I just think that TTC whilst intending to always be on benefits out of laziness is wrong. The are, some women who try to get pregnant so they can get a bigger council house! It's that kind of behaviour that upsets me.

My OH works two jobs, and does to uni Because we couldn't afford child are for me to go back to work at the moment. We get by without benefits, but would use them if we needed them.

The system is flawed! There's no help for us because OH is a student, and none for me to go back to uni.

I'm not saying we should be entitled to help or anything, just that it's a rubbish system.

 

[Jaxx01]

Hey ladies

Unfortunately I get branded as 'one of those women' who scrounge and sit on my bum all day! When I was pregnant I was put into the catagory of 'having a child to get what i can' just because i was single and pregnant and Ihad a 4 year old. I even once got asked if i knew who the father was fact is I was in a long term relationship and fell pregnant but he left me when i was 6 weeks pregnant. People just assumed i was after the benefits. Ive worked siince I was 16 and I even had 3 jobs when i fell pregnant with Stanley ....I am privately renting and yes I am getting help BUT its not forever. Its not as easy as everyone thinks and i am not entitled to a council house, not for 6 years anyway lol

I do completely understand and can see the frustration its just that there seems to be a complete generalisation of 'benefit' people when infact some of us dont choose to be in this situation

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

Someone once found it appropriate to ask me if my kids had the same dad after finding out I was a single parent it's not something you ask someone who's married so goodness knows why she thought she could ask me!

 

[diane]

I'm 34 and having my first child. My husband is 36. Not everybody gets to have savings, disposable income etc... No matter how hard one works. We rent our flat and pay our rent ourselves, we budget, we pay our own way. How long should we have waited for a better wage that might never come along? Some people are always on minimum wage. We get no "hand outs".

 

[Froslass]

Hey ladies

Unfortunately I get branded as 'one of those women' who scrounge and sit on my bum all day! When I was pregnant I was put into the catagory of 'having a child to get what i can' just because i was single and pregnant and Ihad a 4 year old. I even once got asked if i knew who the father was fact is I was in a long term relationship and fell pregnant but he left me when i was 6 weeks pregnant. People just assumed i was after the benefits. Ive worked siince I was 16 and I even had 3 jobs when i fell pregnant with Stanley ....I am privately renting and yes I am getting help BUT its not forever. Its not as easy as everyone thinks and i am not entitled to a council house, not for 6 years anyway lol

I do completely understand and can see the frustration its just that there seems to be a complete generalisation of 'benefit' people when infact some of us dont choose to be in this situation

that's an awful situation to be in.

I agree there is a stigma surrounding those on benefits.

Your situation however, is exactly what benefits are meant to be for.

You're doing what you can in the situation you're in iykwim?

 

[Happyfeet]

I agree, minimum wage needs to be in line with the cost of living. But until it is, I think people have to tailor their aspirations to their financial capabilities.
What's wrong with waiting to be in a better financial situation before you start your family? I was 33 when I had my son and 38 when I had my daughter in Dec. I don't consider myself a geriatric but as a result of waiting, we have a lovely family home, savings, disposable income and whatever else we get stressed about it's not about putting food on the table or paying for the kids classes or school fees.
Don't get me wrong, we have to budget like everyone else, we're dairy farmers and have overheads to meet and bank managers to keep happy!
But my point is we had to wait to start our family until we were in a financial position to do so, and I struggle with the idea that people can't do the same. I want to do the best for my family ( as i imagine we all do) so bringing children into a situation where I would be relying on benefits and vouchers to feed and clothe them would not sit well with me. Especially when it can be avoided.
Life happens, none of us knows what's round the corner and we could all end up on benefits at some stage to get us through a tough time. As an emergency measure. But I strongly believe that nobody is entitled to be on benefits long term simply by virtue of the fact that their income can not meet their expenditure once children enter into the mix. The state doesn't have any responsibility for the conception of children why should we expect the state to provide for them?

Oh so you're moaning about people getting tax credits top ups now! When we started our family we got no help what so ever from the benefits system but we put a lot in, and now that we get some tax credits as we have a lower income, it's wrong? So people who are legitimately entitled to help shouldn't be taking it?

The fact is, some people don't want to be in their thirties when they have babies. I'm sorry you can't get your head around low income workers having families, not really my problem. I'd suggest that you look why it bugs you so much. Not everyone can earn loads of money these days, there simply isn't the work for everyone!

 

[Froslass]

I'm 34 and having my first child. My husband is 36. Not everybody gets to have savings, disposable income etc... No matter how hard one works. We rent our flat and pay our rent ourselves, we budget, we pay our own way. How long should we have waited for a better wage that might never come along? Some people are always on minimum wage. We get no "hand outs".

Exactly, you live within your means and you budget to have your children.

Its completely different to TTC whilst having no earned income.m

 

[Froslass]

I agree, minimum wage needs to be in line with the cost of living. But until it is, I think people have to tailor their aspirations to their financial capabilities.
What's wrong with waiting to be in a better financial situation before you start your family? I was 33 when I had my son and 38 when I had my daughter in Dec. I don't consider myself a geriatric but as a result of waiting, we have a lovely family home, savings, disposable income and whatever else we get stressed about it's not about putting food on the table or paying for the kids classes or school fees.
Don't get me wrong, we have to budget like everyone else, we're dairy farmers and have overheads to meet and bank managers to keep happy!
But my point is we had to wait to start our family until we were in a financial position to do so, and I struggle with the idea that people can't do the same. I want to do the best for my family ( as i imagine we all do) so bringing children into a situation where I would be relying on benefits and vouchers to feed and clothe them would not sit well with me. Especially when it can be avoided.
Life happens, none of us knows what's round the corner and we could all end up on benefits at some stage to get us through a tough time. As an emergency measure. But I strongly believe that nobody is entitled to be on benefits long term simply by virtue of the fact that their income can not meet their expenditure once children enter into the mix. The state doesn't have any responsibility for the conception of children why should we expect the state to provide for them?

Oh so you're moaning about people getting tax credits top ups now! When we started our family we got no help what so ever from the benefits system but we put a lot in, and now that we get some tax credits as we have a lower income, it's wrong? So people who are legitimately entitled to help shouldn't be taking it?

The fact is, some people don't want to be in their thirties when they have babies. I'm sorry you can't get your head around low income workers having families, not really my problem. I'd suggest that you look why it bugs you so much. Not everyone can earn loads of money these days, there simply isn't the work for everyone!

I don't see where she's mentioned tax credits?

I don't think she's meaning low income families. I think she means people who solely rely on benefits. Low income families will have to budget and save to have kids just the same.

Me and OH are low income, but he works two jobs and our LO wants for nothing! We have savings, and live within our means.

We save to go on a meal out etc...and we will save for our next baby.

 

[Happyfeet]

Someone once found it appropriate to ask me if my kids had the same dad after finding out I was a single parent it's not something you ask someone who's married so goodness knows why she thought she could ask me!

That's so awful! I've been married for nearly 7 years and still got asked if mine had the same Dad by my midwife lol.

 

[Jaxx01]

Im trying my best lol it is hard when people just assume never thought i would be in my situation but hey ho!!

MMG&I - I was mortified when they asked me i didnt know what to say...even now i swear my neighbours think im some kind of wrongun

 

[Froslass]

I got told off a few weeks ago for being too young to be a mother! I'm 21!

 

[Iriki]

I agree, minimum wage needs to be in line with the cost of living. But until it is, I think people have to tailor their aspirations to their financial capabilities.
What's wrong with waiting to be in a better financial situation before you start your family? I was 33 when I had my son and 38 when I had my daughter in Dec. I don't consider myself a geriatric but as a result of waiting, we have a lovely family home, savings, disposable income and whatever else we get stressed about it's not about putting food on the table or paying for the kids classes or school fees.
Don't get me wrong, we have to budget like everyone else, we're dairy farmers and have overheads to meet and bank managers to keep happy!
But my point is we had to wait to start our family until we were in a financial position to do so, and I struggle with the idea that people can't do the same. I want to do the best for my family ( as i imagine we all do) so bringing children into a situation where I would be relying on benefits and vouchers to feed and clothe them would not sit well with me. Especially when it can be avoided.
Life happens, none of us knows what's round the corner and we could all end up on benefits at some stage to get us through a tough time. As an emergency measure. But I strongly believe that nobody is entitled to be on benefits long term simply by virtue of the fact that their income can not meet their expenditure once children enter into the mix. The state doesn't have any responsibility for the conception of children why should we expect the state to provide for them?

Oh so you're moaning about people getting tax credits top ups now! When we started our family we got no help what so ever from the benefits system but we put a lot in, and now that we get some tax credits as we have a lower income, it's wrong? So people who are legitimately entitled to help shouldn't be taking it?

The fact is, some people don't want to be in their thirties when they have babies. I'm sorry you can't get your head around low income workers having families, not really my problem. I'd suggest that you look why it bugs you so much. Not everyone can earn loads of money these days, there simply isn't the work for everyone!

I think you've misinterpreted my post, I haven't mentioned tax credits at all. I have no issue with low income workers, as long as someone can afford to pay for their lifestyle they can crack on.
I accept that people have different values and expectations from life and that everyone is entitled to their opinion. I really don't think there is any need to become personal.

 

[tinytoes]

I hate that question. I think we are almost all in agreement that the system needs to be looked at ? And that the problem with benefits is that people who news it ti get by are being looked down on because of people who choose to use benefits as a lifestyle ?
Honestly I think someone who works for minimum wage and who tries their very best is to be congratulated its not possible in some cases because of child care coats being unbelievable and it's a terrible shame there is no support for people relying to function as a self sufficient family unit.

The fact still remains if you can't feed yourself then realistically should you actively try to being someone else to feed into the world ?

 

[Iriki]

I agree, minimum wage needs to be in line with the cost of living. But until it is, I think people have to tailor their aspirations to their financial capabilities.
What's wrong with waiting to be in a better financial situation before you start your family? I was 33 when I had my son and 38 when I had my daughter in Dec. I don't consider myself a geriatric but as a result of waiting, we have a lovely family home, savings, disposable income and whatever else we get stressed about it's not about putting food on the table or paying for the kids classes or school fees.
Don't get me wrong, we have to budget like everyone else, we're dairy farmers and have overheads to meet and bank managers to keep happy!
But my point is we had to wait to start our family until we were in a financial position to do so, and I struggle with the idea that people can't do the same. I want to do the best for my family ( as i imagine we all do) so bringing children into a situation where I would be relying on benefits and vouchers to feed and clothe them would not sit well with me. Especially when it can be avoided.
Life happens, none of us knows what's round the corner and we could all end up on benefits at some stage to get us through a tough time. As an emergency measure. But I strongly believe that nobody is entitled to be on benefits long term simply by virtue of the fact that their income can not meet their expenditure once children enter into the mix. The state doesn't have any responsibility for the conception of children why should we expect the state to provide for them?

Oh so you're moaning about people getting tax credits top ups now! When we started our family we got no help what so ever from the benefits system but we put a lot in, and now that we get some tax credits as we have a lower income, it's wrong? So people who are legitimately entitled to help shouldn't be taking it?

The fact is, some people don't want to be in their thirties when they have babies. I'm sorry you can't get your head around low income workers having families, not really my problem. I'd suggest that you look why it bugs you so much. Not everyone can earn loads of money these days, there simply isn't the work for everyone!

I don't see where she's mentioned tax credits?

I don't think she's meaning low income families. I think she means people who solely rely on benefits. Low income families will have to budget and save to have kids just the same.

Me and OH are low income, but he works two jobs and our LO wants for nothing! We have savings, and live within our means.

We save to go on a meal out etc...and we will save for our next baby.

Thank you
You've got it in one!

 

[Happyfeet]

I agree, minimum wage needs to be in line with the cost of living. But until it is, I think people have to tailor their aspirations to their financial capabilities.
What's wrong with waiting to be in a better financial situation before you start your family? I was 33 when I had my son and 38 when I had my daughter in Dec. I don't consider myself a geriatric but as a result of waiting, we have a lovely family home, savings, disposable income and whatever else we get stressed about it's not about putting food on the table or paying for the kids classes or school fees.
Don't get me wrong, we have to budget like everyone else, we're dairy farmers and have overheads to meet and bank managers to keep happy!
But my point is we had to wait to start our family until we were in a financial position to do so, and I struggle with the idea that people can't do the same. I want to do the best for my family ( as i imagine we all do) so bringing children into a situation where I would be relying on benefits and vouchers to feed and clothe them would not sit well with me. Especially when it can be avoided.
Life happens, none of us knows what's round the corner and we could all end up on benefits at some stage to get us through a tough time. As an emergency measure. But I strongly believe that nobody is entitled to be on benefits long term simply by virtue of the fact that their income can not meet their expenditure once children enter into the mix. The state doesn't have any responsibility for the conception of children why should we expect the state to provide for them?

Oh so you're moaning about people getting tax credits top ups now! When we started our family we got no help what so ever from the benefits system but we put a lot in, and now that we get some tax credits as we have a lower income, it's wrong? So people who are legitimately entitled to help shouldn't be taking it?

The fact is, some people don't want to be in their thirties when they have babies. I'm sorry you can't get your head around low income workers having families, not really my problem. I'd suggest that you look why it bugs you so much. Not everyone can earn loads of money these days, there simply isn't the work for everyone!

I don't see where she's mentioned tax credits?

I don't think she's meaning low income families. I think she means people who solely rely on benefits. Low income families will have to budget and save to have kids just the same.

Me and OH are low income, but he works two jobs and our LO wants for nothing! We have savings, and live within our means.

We save to go on a meal out etc...and we will save for our next baby.

I don't see what else she could be talking about when saying things like this:

*But I strongly believe that nobody is entitled to be on benefits long term simply by virtue of the fact that their income can not meet their expenditure once children enter into the mix.*

She may not have called it tax credits, but it's obvious she is referring to a top up of earnings of some discription.

 

[redbear]

I'm 34 and having my first child. My husband is 36. Not everybody gets to have savings, disposable income etc... No matter how hard one works. We rent our flat and pay our rent ourselves, we budget, we pay our own way. How long should we have waited for a better wage that might never come along? Some people are always on minimum wage. We get no "hand outs".

I know not everyone can get a big wage no matter how long you work there my husband is a maintenance man now because he couldn't find a joinery job there is not step up on the ladder or anything so how long should we have waited?

We have a house (my mum and dad bought) a car, he works, im qualified so can go back when the children is in childcare, we dont have savings or anything but we buy our stuff second hand or at baby sales we go on english holidays we live to our income. We wanted babies and waited 6 years before we decided it was never going to be an ideal time lol xx