can you actually afford to have a baby?

[redbear]

just because you earn min wage doesnt mean you cant save, my oh was redundant for the forst year we lived together and i earned 12k a year thats less than 1000 a month and my rent is 500. But i had a dream of a baby and i saved for it.

now 4 years on i have my security, and oh has a job.

I just had to wait for it thats all.

and i a,m glad i did, i didt go out, i didnt have new things, i didnt have anything but now i will have eveyrthing for my baby when it comes.

We do have everything for my baby because surprisingly i find it easy to pay for what she needs on the £20 a week (that everyone gets) I buy in sales or second hand because a baby doesn't care if the pram is expensive or new.

 

[shootingstar22]

When I was pregnant with my LO I had to save money every month in order to be able to afford to be on maternity. I then had to go back to work early as I needed the cash I had saved to help us move.
Now I am back at work nearly all my money goes on childcare. I would LOVE to have a second baby, but I can't affor it..and won't be for awhile. I will need to wait for one of us to get a pay rise, then save some money...or wait until LO goes to school so I can transfer childcare on to the new baby. Even with this in mind...I might not be Blw to have a second as though saving lieu to cover being of maternity is a short term plan, I have to think of the long terms. Would I be able to afford having two kids on our salaries?

The above though process should be going through everyone's mind before they ttc...whether you are on benefits or not. If your not thinking ahead, then you are being a little naive.

 

[becciboo26]

I still think some are missing the point here

Me and my OH are both on low wage (despite me being a department manager - terrible pay) and I havent taken any offence!

At the risk of being lynched, maybe people are biting because there is truth in what is being said here??

AGAIN - the main point is many people feel it is irresponsible to ttc while on benefits with no intention of ever working

I fail to comprehend why this is even debatable tbh, its a no brainer to me!

 

[cosmicgirl]

I don't think I could actually handle the stress of being pregnant and having a new baby when I couldn't afford it so I don't understand it when people put themselves in that position on purpose???
I have a good job but I still saved for this baby for the very reason that I don't want to have to be worrying about money, I want to enjoy my pregnancy and my baby when he comes.
I'd just find it all very stressful more than anything else x

 

[tinytoes]

And that's great ! Not everyone has the sense to do that . The thread isn't a personal attack on you or your situation nobody is trying to dictate who should or should be a parent
but If you don't have the sense to save or budget what happens when your child starts school and needs something what happens if god forbid you find yourself in my situation and suddenly your home is dangerous for your child and needs massive changes and new safety and medical equipment how would I have coped if I hadn't saved . A pay heck check to pay check situation would have been a disaster .

 

[littlemiss83]

I wish we could all lose that whole attitude of "oh I have a womb - I MUST Have a child- everyone else is" everyone gets broody, I get broody all the time and I know I wont be having another, I was broody 3 days after having my 2nd and cried because I might have to wait to get pregnant again, then my sensible side kicked in and I thought...no, I cant afford it, its not the end of the world if I cant have another....I want it but I cant. Whereas someone on benefits might not have the same attitude, they can pretty much have as many as they want because the money increases the more they have but for working mums our money de-creases as we have to pay for a bigger house with no housing benefit, pay for nursery fees ect. So its always gonna be a bit unfair!

 

[cosmicgirl]

I still think some are missing the point here

Me and my OH are both on low wage (despite me being a department manager - terrible pay) and I havent taken any offence!

At the risk of being lynched, maybe people are biting because there is truth in what is being said here??

AGAIN - the main point is many people feel it is irresponsible to ttc while on benefits with no intention of ever working

I fail to comprehend why this is even debatable tbh, its a no brainer to me!

My feelings exactly x

 

[cosmicgirl]

I wish we could all lose that whole attitude of "oh I have a womb - I MUST Have a child- everyone else is" everyone gets broody, I get broody all the time and I know I wont be having another, I was broody 3 days after having my 2nd and cried because I might have to wait to get pregnant again, then my sensible side kicked in and I thought...no, I cant afford it, its not the end of the world if I cant have another....I want it but I cant. Whereas someone on benefits might not have the same attitude, they can pretty much have as many as they want because the money increases the more they have but for working mums our money de-creases as we have to pay for a bigger house with no housing benefit, pay for nursery fees ect. So its always gonna be a bit unfair!

It's the whole attitude of entitlement again isn't it.
I want therefore I'll have and you can pay for it! x

 

[diane]

I think the only reason some people are getting offended is that people started mentioning ttc on minimum wage on a thread about ttc when on benefits as if the 2 are comparable.

 

[netty]

ttc on minium wage is fine, as long as you are comfortable you have the equity to support a child in it for the next goodness knows how many years.

TTC anytime is fine, if you have thought ahead and considered the costs etc.

what isnt fine is knowing full well you will struggle badly, but doing it anyway.

 

[redbear]

Luckly i have my parents if anything happened they would be there for me we are all very close. I do try to save but everytime we get somewhere the car breaks down or the washing machine goes or the dryer or all three so we always end up back at square one

 

[tinytoes]

ttc on minium wage is fine, as long as you are comfortable you have the equity to support a child in it for the next goodness knows how many years.

TTC anytime is fine, if you have thought ahead and considered the costs etc.

what isnt fine is knowing full well you will struggle badly, but doing it anyway.

Yes !

 

[cosmicgirl]

ttc on minium wage is fine, as long as you are comfortable you have the equity to support a child in it for the next goodness knows how many years.

TTC anytime is fine, if you have thought ahead and considered the costs etc.

what isnt fine is knowing full well you will struggle badly, but doing it anyway.

x

 

[redbear]

I think the only reason some people are getting offended is that people started mentioning ttc on minimum wage on a thread about ttc when on benefits as if the 2 are comparable.

This exactly! xx

 

[cosmicgirl]

Luckly i have my parents if anything happened they would be there for me we are all very close. I do try to save but everytime we get somewhere the car breaks down or the washing machine goes or the dryer or all three so we always end up back at square one

Oh yes, been there.
I'm sure there is some higher power that knows when you have savings

 

[Happyfeet]

I don't think anyone is taking it personally, everyone is just putting their point across. Whether everyone agrees with it or not is a different matter entirely - But that is the point of a debate after all!

I don't think anyone on this thread has come along and said that they are up for people ttc whilst on signing on etc.

The baby I am currently carrying has been in the making since January 2010, my Husband was made redundant during this time, and guess what, we didn't ttc as we couldn't afford it! We are in a much better position now, so we're doing it, whether or not it was a happy accident (we were avoiding ttc whilst waiting for testing at the RMC).

We're saving like everybody else to get everything that baby needs as well as our other expenses and Chrismas etc. I don't think being told that it's not responsible to have tried for our baby is useful though.

 

[Froslass]

I agree, minimum wage needs to be in line with the cost of living. But until it is, I think people have to tailor their aspirations to their financial capabilities.
What's wrong with waiting to be in a better financial situation before you start your family? I was 33 when I had my son and 38 when I had my daughter in Dec. I don't consider myself a geriatric but as a result of waiting, we have a lovely family home, savings, disposable income and whatever else we get stressed about it's not about putting food on the table or paying for the kids classes or school fees.
Don't get me wrong, we have to budget like everyone else, we're dairy farmers and have overheads to meet and bank managers to keep happy!
But my point is we had to wait to start our family until we were in a financial position to do so, and I struggle with the idea that people can't do the same. I want to do the best for my family ( as i imagine we all do) so bringing children into a situation where I would be relying on benefits and vouchers to feed and clothe them would not sit well with me. Especially when it can be avoided.
Life happens, none of us knows what's round the corner and we could all end up on benefits at some stage to get us through a tough time. As an emergency measure. But I strongly believe that nobody is entitled to be on benefits long term simply by virtue of the fact that their income can not meet their expenditure once children enter into the mix. The state doesn't have any responsibility for the conception of children why should we expect the state to provide for them?

Oh so you're moaning about people getting tax credits top ups now! When we started our family we got no help what so ever from the benefits system but we put a lot in, and now that we get some tax credits as we have a lower income, it's wrong? So people who are legitimately entitled to help shouldn't be taking it?

The fact is, some people don't want to be in their thirties when they have babies. I'm sorry you can't get your head around low income workers having families, not really my problem. I'd suggest that you look why it bugs you so much. Not everyone can earn loads of money these days, there simply isn't the work for everyone!

I don't see where she's mentioned tax credits?

I don't think she's meaning low income families. I think she means people who solely rely on benefits. Low income families will have to budget and save to have kids just the same.

Me and OH are low income, but he works two jobs and our LO wants for nothing! We have savings, and live within our means.

We save to go on a meal out etc...and we will save for our next baby.

I don't see what else she could be talking about when saying things like this:

*But I strongly believe that nobody is entitled to be on benefits long term simply by virtue of the fact that their income can not meet their expenditure once children enter into the mix.*

She may not have called it tax credits, but it's obvious she is referring to a top up of earnings of some discription.

I think she was referring to those who have no intention of ever working, and intend just to live off benefits because they are available to them.

Tax creds are different, they are credits against tax you have paid. My dad has his own ( quite successful) business. He earns a very good wage, and they are still entitled to child tax credit. They claim it and my mum uses it to help run a mothers and toddlers group.

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

I think the ttc on minimum wage thing was meant as in, yes it's doable as long as you budget for a baby, there is a culture of well I want this, I want that, I should be able to have what I want when I want it! I wasn't earning much more than minimum wage when I was ttc, but I budgeted, saved and for a long time ate beans on toast for evrty meal so I could provide!

For some reason there's a view floating round atm (not just on here) that the world owes you something and your every whim should be catered for! This isn't true, noone owes you anything, you're in charge of your own destiny!

 

[Iriki]

Thank you ladies! The voice of reason prevails
At the end of the day all any parent wants is to provide for their children.

 

[littlemiss83]

I don't think anyone is taking it personally, everyone is just putting their point across. Whether everyone agrees with it or not is a different matter entirely - But that is the point of a debate after all!

I don't think anyone on this thread has come along and said that they are up for people ttc whilst on signing on etc.

The baby I am currently carrying has been in the making since January 2010, my Husband was made redundant during this time, and guess what, we didn't ttc as we couldn't afford it! We are in a much better position now, so we're doing it, whether or not it was a happy accident (we were avoiding ttc whilst waiting for testing at the RMC).

We're saving like everybody else to get everything that baby needs as well as our other expenses and Chrismas etc. I don't think being told that it's not responsible to have tried for our baby is useful though.

Who said that?

You dont fall into any of the category's mentioned so why are you saying that?

If you have saved for your baby then where is the problem

I dont get it