August 2017 babies! The final thread!

[MissCharli]

Aah I love it Rach! The wallpaper is awesome

I think I'm just scared I'm gonna be rubbish and not know what to do! Worrying about what it'll be like when OH goes back to work after 2 weeks. He thinks I'm just being silly! X

 

[Rachlaidler94]

Aww thanks misscharli I think it needs that something in the middle
Of the wall on the paper but I can't think what. It would be dark blue maybe I'm not sure probably being silly now and no I think they are very reasonable worries and I get anxious thinking about it that's why I try not to think about it and hope I know what to do!

 

[MissCharli]

I'm not sure if this is what you mean, but this is what my OH has started to go up on the wall:

It's a box frame from the range with 3 smaller ones inside, we bought some backing paper and some scrabble letters from eBay! Once he's here we can put photos in the other two frames.

Something like that might work to break up the wall a bit?

 

[PeanutButter]

Lovely room Rach! You could buy a canvas or 3 little squarw ones to go across. We finished her room yesterday to. Pics look abit shit just awkward to get a decent pic lol.
Thanks for the bottle idea, I think I might just wait and see and send hubby for some if i give up BFing.

I might buy a cardigan then, cos the weather here has been changing so much. I did have 2 but they're both size up to 7lbs pmsl I think she'll be abit big xD

Charli, it's not silly. But I think maternal instincts would take over. And your mum's midwife trained so you could just call up and ask for help when hubby's at work? I'm probably gonna be on the phone to my mom alot like is this normal? Aha. X

 

[MissCharli]

Ah we have about 400 knitted cardigans that various people have given to us! What is it about new babies and people knitting haha.

Would love to see a pic of the finished nursery I love seeing what people choose.

I'm really hoping so. I've never had a young sibling or anything before so it's totally new to me! Yeah I'll definitely need my mum I reckon, but she goes on holiday the day my OH goes back to work! Talk about timing haha. But as OH keeps reminding me there are other people, just not ones I'd be as comfortable asking for help. I'm pretty crap at asking for help tbh! X

 

[Rose83]

I've given birth in December, in Scotland and still only dressed my baby in a babygro and a vest. I've never used a cardigan at all! But to be honest I think they are one of those clothing items that people just associate with dressing a new baby in so do it because they think they should. I suppose you'll probably dress a newborn in summer in a short sleeve babygro so you might want a cardigan if their arms seemed cold. I'd go for the pack just in case rule of thinking if you own them already!

Bottles - definitely wouldn't bother to take bottles or milk because the hospital will give you their little pre-mixed bottles with disposable teats if you need them and then someone could bring them in after that if the hospital said you weren't allowed anymore. That's what I've seen happening each time I've give birth - ladies just ask the midwives/nurses in the ward to be brought a bottle. What I would say though (as someone who has breastfed two babies and seen friends and family give up) is that if you are serious about breast feeding then you wouldn't be giving up while you are still in hospital. It takes about 3-5 days for your milk to come in so you should be home by they point. In the first 48 hours I'm not going to lie, it's tough, they want to feed all the time because they have tiny stomachs (the size of a cherry) so they don't need much but as breast milk/colostrum is designed exactly for your baby it is absorbed by the body straight away and doesn't sit in the stomach for long. This is why a breastfed baby will want to be attached almost constantly to you at first whereas a bottle fed baby's stomach gets filled with formula and the formula takes longer to digest so sits in the stomach longer and they'll go longer periods without eating. If you are definitely wanting to try breast then get yourself some Lansinoh nipple cream and put it in on after every feed from the moment they are born as this will keep your nipples from getting too sore and cracked. And I know how frustrating it is when you're having trouble trying to work out if they've latched on properly so make sure you ask for help from the midwives/any feeding experts in the ward as a poor latch will cause you pain and you might not even realise that's what's wrong - that's what happened with my first baby. My experience has been that both babies have lost 10% of their birth weight in the 5 days after birth while they were waiting for my milk to come in and then they rapidly gained weight after that. So a baby can be perfectly healthy and happy losing like that without you needed to give them any formula so that's why I wouldn't bother thinking about taking milk/bottles unless you are certain you are just going to formula feed.

Dummies - a lot of people say they cause nipple confusion so don't try them in the first 6 weeks of attempting to breast feed. I followed that advice with my first for two weeks then gave her one. With my second I took the dummy to hospital as I knew it was the only way I might get a bit of peace from feeding all night. It never caused any confusion with either of them and I'll be taking them this time - you don't have to use them just because you've packed them either! There are two shapes and my children and only taken to opposite shapes so you might want to take one of each - the flatter orthodontic shape and the cherry teat shape x

 

[Rose83]

Sorry for that essay! X

 

[MissCharli]

Don't apologise! Info like that is definitely useful for us first timers! There's so much conflicting stuff out there it's crazy.

The health visitor at the antenatal classes kept banging on about nipple confusion etc but lots of people like my mum say it's complete rubbish. Sometimes I kinda feel like they say all this stuff to try and make people breastfeed only. Whereas I would like to combi feed ideally. I know breast feeding is best but I just think i would like a break sometimes and just let OH do it? I guess we'll see what he's like!

 

[PeanutButter]

Thanks rose! Very useful. I wanna use a dummy to stop her trying to get to my boobs constantly... I'm gonna stick out the bf as long as I can i just worry she'll be really hungry and I'll feel bad D:
My in laws are weird about me giving her a dummy for some reason but idc if she's wants one she'll have it. I had mine until I was 3 or 4 aha!
I thought about combi feeding to Charli... which I think is good to give you a break! But I'm more of a if I'm doing it it's only this way person aha. Hubby is doing nappies and burping after I feed her cos I've read that can take a while hehe.
None of my family have ever breast fed, nor has hubby's so I don't know how they react to me having to take her away to fed often. My mil has already tried to argue with me about the fact mill doesn't come in for days... she was basically saying I'm full of shit and it comes in straight away (not as harsh) so I was like yeah ok. (She knows nothing about it) so I'm just waiting for someone to say something horrible xx

 

[Hoping4Rainbow]

Brilliant advise Rose xx

MissCharli, there shouldn't be a problem combo feeding as long as you introduce formula after breastfeeding has been established in the first few weeks so that you do not interfere/reduce your milk supply too early just as baby is trying to establish it. You could also express so that OH gives your own milk to baby in a bottle

I agree about dummies. In my case a dummy "taught" my baby how to feed. He was an intensive care baby who couldn't feed from mouth for 3 weeks after being born as he had major surgery on his intestines, so his recovery was strict 'nil-by-mouth' and was instead fed artificially through his heart.

The FIRST thing his nurses asked our permission for was to put a dummy in his mouth straight from birth. When his life was not threatened anymore and he was steadily recovering after surgery, Hubby made a light hearted comment about how we'd thought our baby wouldn't need a dummy (just like he and his sisters were not allowed one by their mum), the nurse quickly gave us a very informative "lecture" lol on latest research on benefits of dummies for intensive care babies. As the baby -who can't feed from mummy yet- is sucking the dummy whilst his tummy is feeling content due to artificial nutrients making him feel full, a dummy basically teaches him to relate the sucking motions with a full tummy. So actually gives him vital experience to help him to go on the breast when that time finally comes! Needless to say hubby was left speechless xx

 

[MissCharli]

Ah it's none of their business PB how you feed her, what you feed her or if you want to use a dummy! Do what you think is best

I'm sure OH will be very good at doing everything required, I can't imagine him not being hands on at all. But for both of our sanities I think I can't be the only one feeding him every night!

 

[MissCharli]

Yeah I will definitely look into expressing if I want to stick with BF there are lots of things about using formula that I don't like so I think it's just about finding a balance and what works for us all.

 

[Hoping4Rainbow]

I agree with MissCharli ^^ PeanutButter! xx

Best attitude for sure MissCharli xx Stick to your guns and your wants and your instincts re. BFing, and also at the same time go to it open-minded and be kind to yourself in order to avoid unnecessary disappointment purely because of what others could think or expect. It's about finding your own balance as you said. Always, always remember that mummy knows best and, my favourite: "happy mummy means happy baby" As simple as that xx

 

[PeanutButter]

I think the first night home with baby will be the worst with bf.. you have no one to ask for help.
When my mom had my little sister, she gave up on the first night cos all my sister did was scream cos she was hungry so my mom gave up and sent my brother to asda for formula lol. This is what is scaring me the most!

You can buy a thing from mothercare a starter pack I think it's on sale atm actually, has a steriliser, beast pump, bottles and accessories. I bought it when I was just gonna pump but changed my mind! I thought it was good to just get you going to see which way you wanna go with Bf, pumping and formula lol.

On another note, my hubby is being a dick I finally gave in and said his family can come and see us at the hospital (at first I was saying no, unless I'm in there for more than 2 day's) now I've finally said yes... but I want time to shower and try to BF at least once before they come in. Which I'd say wild take 2-3 hours for this after birth but apparently it still isn't good enough so we had an argument, all I want is to be clean and try to feed my baby fgs. After everything I'm gonna go through he can't even ask them to give me time for a shower?! He said that my mom's gonna be there so what's the difference, my mom will probably leave after she's born and come back when we're home... idk what else to say to him, any advice? sorry long post x

 

[Rose83]

Oh PB the last thing you need is the stress of worrying about all of that! If you are trying to breast feed then literally as soon as baby pops out the midwives encourage you to try to get them to latch on. Also I can't really stress this enough, that baby will be on your boob about 90% of the time after birth and they want to be next to you. They've been inside you for 9 months and they know who you are, they aren't comfortable away from you for more than a few minutes if they are hungry so you really don't need other people forced upon you. The other thing is that you don't just pop a baby out and immediately get taken to a ward, for example say you've had a forceps delivery in theatre (like I did with my first) you get taken to a recovery area as you've been in theatre and that can be two hours and then they have to find space in a ward for you. Even a straight forward birth (like my second) I was in the delivery room for about an hour before they got me up to the ward and then you want to settle. If you give birth in the middle of the night then no one is allowed in anyway. Also everywhere has visiting times (most even for partners too). Where I am partners aren't allowed into the ward before 10am and have to leave at meal times and finally at 8pm. Visiting hours for anyone else are two slots which are something like 1-3pm and 5 - 7pm and they are strict about this because they know how overwhelming it all is. Also it's usually strictly 4 visitors to a bed (including your partner). Without being rude about your OH he is being very unrealistic and very unfair to force that upon you, he has not idea what you are going to go through and you should be able to dictate exactly what happens when.

As for interfering families about how you feed, I despair. It's no one's business except yours. My OHs family all weren't breastfeeders and although they would never be openly rude about it they quite clearly think I was a bit odd for carrying on through problems, didn't understand why they needed to be fed so often and were obviously a bit uncomfortable about it. One of my friends was also the first person to breast feed in her family and had to endure her own mother asking her 'when are you going to start feeding that baby properly?' (Meaning with a bottle of formula). She also poured away some of her breast milk when she was given it to use when looking after the children because she decided it had gone off despite knowing nothing about breast milk!

I'm just back from midwife who says although I'm big I'm following the line (just above it) so they won't scan me for growth and I'd just be left until 12 days past due date if I didn't go into labour naturally. I'm horrified! If I'd been left 12 days over with my son he could have been a 12lb baby! I'm just praying my body goes 'that's plenty and shoves him out on time!' X

 

[MissCharli]

Ah how annoying PB, do they have far to travel? We haven't made any plans for our families yet, but no one lives more than a 10 min drive away so they can just pop up when they're allowed. Like rose suggested check the visiting hours as well, the ward here only allows visitors (excl OH) between 4-7! So you might have a get out clause there depending on when you give birth. It doesn't seem fair the unnecessary pressure they are putting on you, they'll have the rest of their lives to visit her, what's a few hours I might not even tell people he's here until I'm ready for visitors tbh. Can you try and explain this all to your hubby calmly?

Ah rose I hope he doesn't come late! Aren't 2nd and 3rd babies usually on time? X

 

[spuds]

Hi Everyone. Wanderer returns - so sorry. I will catch up, I promise. All going well here - bump is growing by the day, baby movements back to normal after a small blip a few weeks ago (and the heat wave that nearly finished us off). Can't believe I am nearly 34 weeks now - time is flying and baby is getting close. Still team yellow but my bet is on a boy - we shall see.
Found rib cage with bum and feet the last week or so - not exactly the most elegant bump to be carrying around with a bum under my chest lol - so funny! No other news really other than growth scans seems to think baby is on track for at least 8lb. Gulp! I am feeling the need for some salad all of a sudden!! lol

 

[spuds]

Back from scan today and again my fluid had dropped more. They are just keeping a watch but the worry is horrible to live with, just wish baby was here now, alothough I know would be a little early, at least I could see they were safe hope all you mummy's are getting on okay, and babies are behaving. Xxx

My sister in law had the same problem but went full term and has a healthy baby girl. As long as they are keeping an eye on it, that's the main thing. Try not to panic (says she that would be frantic if if were me!!).

 

[PeanutButter]

Thanks ladies. Really hope it happens in the night now aha. I feel better knowing it takes time to get taken to the ward. All I wanted was no blood and baby goo all over me lol and a chance to bond before she's snatched away by people.
My hubby doesn't listen.. he keeps saying everyone is excited so why not :/ I told him if I have to have an emergency if he dares let anyone see her before I wake up i will be so mad, and I wouldn't speak to him weeks.
They won't try and make me stop BF but they won't understand why I have to do it so often and why I have to take her away so much.

Charli I love your idea of not letting anyone know until baby is actually here. So jealous that your OH would allow that lol but it'd be great to have time to bond just the three of you x

Rose that makes me squirm, ouch!! Gosh I hope he gets here on time! I would be so worried and beg for another scan x

Good to hear you and baby are well spuds. Not long left. There's actually an episode of one born and she gave birth at 34 weeks and he was fine! Can't wait to see some birth announcements from our August mums x

 

[spuds]

Good to hear you and baby are well spuds. Not long left. There's actually an episode of one born and she gave birth at 34 weeks and he was fine! Can't wait to see some birth announcements from our August mums x

Thank you. :-D
Was there? OMG, albeit organised and ready as we can be, it would still be a bit of a shock if the baby came this week!! haha.

OH is saying we won't tell people we're at the hospital until we are close to the end / once it's born but allow a limited amount of visits whilst there, leaving most until are home.