August 2017 babies! The final thread!

[Rose83]

Aww congratulations bex! What weight was she? Are you breast feeding (I'm assuming that's what caused the jaundice?)
My son is the same, he is three weeks today and I starting to go longer between feeds at night now and will sleep in his cot between feeds but the first 12 days or so we're absolute hell, he fed almost constantly through the night and would wake as soon as I put him in the cot and I didn't want to co sleep so was staying awake all night (and day for my toddlers). The thing that seemed to help the most was trying to trick him into thinking the cot was as snuggly as my chest. So I wrapped a hot water bottle in one of his blankets and put that in his cot while he was feeding from me. Then when he is done I put him in the cot where the water bottle has been and put that in my bed until the next time I need it and put the blanket over him that was wrapped round the hot water bottle so basically he is going from warm and snuggly to warm and snuggly rather than to a cold cot. The midwife suggested this to me and explained it: think about when you get in bed on a cold night or if you get back into bed after going to the toilet, the bed is cold and and you have to warm it up before you feel comfortable and sleepy x

 

[Hoping4Rainbow]

Awww well done Bex!!! Congrats, she is lovely!!! x

Up for the 2am feed here...it's been so quiet, how is everyone? Are all you girlies on the FB group now?? Missed you all Is the group secret MissCharli??

Love to everyone xx

 

[MissCharli]

Awww well done Bex!!! Congrats, she is lovely!!! x

Up for the 2am feed here...it's been so quiet, how is everyone? Are all you girlies on the FB group now?? Missed you all Is the group secret MissCharli??

Love to everyone xx

No, you're welcome to join

We're good thanks, you?

 

[Elspeth]

Congratulations Bex.
Fabulous that you avoided the induction too.
I bet all those days of waiting are a distant memory now.

 

[Elspeth]

It has been rather quiet. I suppose we are all getting on with life with a new baby.

I'm pleased to say we are doing well. I think it's mostly as I'm getting some sleep plus getting plenty of bonding time with Ru as DH still isn't working. This is how I always imagined having a newborn would be.
I had a horrible time with my daughter in those early weeks, I loved her so much but I was so sleep deprived and anxious. I felt like I was on the edge of losing my mind.
Plus I felt a real need to prove myself as a mother, I just wanted someone to tell me I was doing a good job. I'm over that now.

Hope you Mummys and babies are doing really well
Xxx

 

[BexTez]

Thanks ladies
Rose she was 8lb 8oz, so a good healthy size! I am breastfeeding yes, I'm not sure what was the reason but her levels have dropped enough that she can stay out of the baby sunbed which is a relief, seeing her in there was horrible!!

I tried the hot water bottle and it worked a bit but she still stirred, until I found the white noise app! It plays heartbeat sounds and honestly when it's on she's sound asleep, it really soothes her!

Elspeth it's silly how upset I was over it now, it seems such a distant memory! Tomorrow marks a week since they told me my induction wouldn't be that day and I cried for hours! Seems a lifetime ago!!

I get what you mean about the relaxing thing too, I was really stressing in the early days about feeding every 3 hours and going through the routine of undressing her, stimulating her and then changing nappy and trying other boob, the routine was taking nearly 3 hours!! Today I decided to give us both a break, feed her when she's hungry, still stimulate and try both breasts but let it be if she's not bothered and not push her into it and I have to say we've both been much more relaxed and it's been a much more peaceful day!! I feel like the midwives put a lot of pressure on for it to be done a certain way but if it's stressing me out she's never going to enjoy feeding! Today I just did as and when, some only lasted 15 mins and some lasted an hour but it's on baby's terms! Has anyone else had this experience or should I be persevering with the 3 hourly?

I'm in the bath right now and every time I hear a stir downstairs I'm on edge texting hubby to check she's okay!
xxxx

 

[Rose83]

I've missed you all too, also my friends that were off with their second babies at the same time as my second are all back to work now so there are no constant text messages throughout the day - feels a bit lonely sometimes with only two toddlers and a newborn to talk to!
OH is back to work this week including doing extra work in the evenings too so having to do it all on my own a few times a week e.g tonight he got home at 6 and was back out at 7.15 and won't be back until 4am. But I'm coping ok, feeding is going great and Taylor gained a whole pound last week. Just need him to regulate his sleeping at night a bit more as he wakes from 4 to 5am and just cries - I think probably with wind.

Can't remember who it was who talked about getting married after having their baby - was it you misscharli? But me and OH got into a conversation about weddings at the weekend that turned a bit ugly - well I spent about 12 hours crying over it and still feel sad. Basically the very condensed version of it was that we both want to get married but he thinks it will be years and years before anything else doesn't take priority over a wedding in terms of spending money. I don't exactly disagree but I had no idea he really didn't see it on the cards in the next couple of years. I would go for a shoestring wedding or even just a registry office and a party but he knows that's not what I've grown up thinking I would have and it isn't what he thought he would have so he doesn't want to do that. It's a bit of a vicious circle though because I'd rather one of those options than having a big traditional wedding when I'm in my 40s or even older - that's definitely not what I want. I also mainly got upset because I felt like the conversation took all the romance out of it, he has never asked me to marry him and I felt like what he was saying was that he never would, we'd just sit down and logically try to work out if it made financial sense to do it at any given time. We argued quite a lot about why he has never asked and then he said that now whenever he does we'll both be wondering if he just asked because I'd got so upset about it - which made me more upset! In the end though I ended up feeing stupid and really bad because it turned out he has been thinking about it for longer than I imagined as he had secretly applied for a don't tell the bride TV show over a year and a half ago. He showed me the email application because I said I didn't know if I believed him and then obviously that explained a lot of things he has never said to me himself about how much he wants to marry me but it's mainly not being able to give me the wedding he thinks I deserve that's stopping him obviously he never got anywhere with his application to them though.
So anyway that whole issue has just been sort of put to bed now as there's nothing we can do to change that unless we win the lottery or something - guess I'll just have to start buying tickets more often! X

 

[Rose83]

Bex that's the same weight my first was (my daughter)! She lost 10% of her body weight due to trying to establish breastfeeding and the midwives really did try to bully me into formula top ups etc after a while because they want the weight To go up but I kept holding out for my milk to come in and once it did she put on weight well but they also tried to enforce the 3 hour thing on me to get the weight up and I don't think it works. With my two boys they also lost 10% of their body weight and I just fed on demand with both of them and although that was maybe only 5 minutes it would be very frequent 5 minutes and with them as soon as my milk was in they piled the weight back on. I think feeding on demand is the key, although in the first week it's so frequent it feels like it might kill you! At 3 weeks I'm still feeding him as soon as he shows any sign of wanting food, even if that's only half an hour after the last time and it's working well for me and he is now starting to go 2-3 hours during some parts of the day but by his choice and not some midwife theory! X

 

[MissCharli]

Yes I've missed everyone too! Obviously we were such chatterboxes before when we were all waiting and now we're all busy with our babies understandably we have less time for this! But I feel like I have so much time now that I've got in the swing of things and I was missing you ladies haha. It's weirdly lonely actually, I didn't really expect it to be? I've been on babycentre a lot, is anyone else on there?

 

[MissCharli]

I've missed you all too, also my friends that were off with their second babies at the same time as my second are all back to work now so there are no constant text messages throughout the day - feels a bit lonely sometimes with only two toddlers and a newborn to talk to!
OH is back to work this week including doing extra work in the evenings too so having to do it all on my own a few times a week e.g tonight he got home at 6 and was back out at 7.15 and won't be back until 4am. But I'm coping ok, feeding is going great and Taylor gained a whole pound last week. Just need him to regulate his sleeping at night a bit more as he wakes from 4 to 5am and just cries - I think probably with wind.

Can't remember who it was who talked about getting married after having their baby - was it you misscharli? But me and OH got into a conversation about weddings at the weekend that turned a bit ugly - well I spent about 12 hours crying over it and still feel sad. Basically the very condensed version of it was that we both want to get married but he thinks it will be years and years before anything else doesn't take priority over a wedding in terms of spending money. I don't exactly disagree but I had no idea he really didn't see it on the cards in the next couple of years. I would go for a shoestring wedding or even just a registry office and a party but he knows that's not what I've grown up thinking I would have and it isn't what he thought he would have so he doesn't want to do that. It's a bit of a vicious circle though because I'd rather one of those options than having a big traditional wedding when I'm in my 40s or even older - that's definitely not what I want. I also mainly got upset because I felt like the conversation took all the romance out of it, he has never asked me to marry him and I felt like what he was saying was that he never would, we'd just sit down and logically try to work out if it made financial sense to do it at any given time. We argued quite a lot about why he has never asked and then he said that now whenever he does we'll both be wondering if he just asked because I'd got so upset about it - which made me more upset! In the end though I ended up feeing stupid and really bad because it turned out he has been thinking about it for longer than I imagined as he had secretly applied for a don't tell the bride TV show over a year and a half ago. He showed me the email application because I said I didn't know if I believed him and then obviously that explained a lot of things he has never said to me himself about how much he wants to marry me but it's mainly not being able to give me the wedding he thinks I deserve that's stopping him obviously he never got anywhere with his application to them though.
So anyway that whole issue has just been sort of put to bed now as there's nothing we can do to change that unless we win the lottery or something - guess I'll just have to start buying tickets more often! X

Yeah that was me Rose... that sounds awful That's basically the same reason we have never got married but because I've never wanted the fairytale he's happy to do the registry office thing. It was so sweet of your OH though to apply for don't tell the bride, but I think it might have been more helpful if he had actually had a conversation with you about it bless him. Men are so sweet and their hearts are in the right place, but they can be useless at communication!

Plus, if it's what you really want you can have all the trimmings on a budget. You just need to do more of it yourself/rope other people into it if possible! Maybe have another conversation with him about it a) when things are a bit more settled and b) when you don't have a teeny newborn!

But yes the first stage is for him to actually propose I guess! In time I'm sure you'll both forget (or at least be able to laugh about) this fight and you won't second guess it when he does. Orrr you could be a modern woman and propose!!

 

[Rose83]

Hahaha I dont think I could ask him and have him take me seriously! We would actually want to do a lot of it ourselves because I'm really crafty and a mega control freak and he is an events manager so basically should be able to organise the whole thing standing on his head. He is convinced he could make £10k look like we had spent double that but of course we don't have that money and he was saying he wouldn't even want to spend £2k any time soon because that could pay for all sorts of other things in our house that have a higher priority. Hopefully we'll come to some sort of compromise eventually! X

 

[MissCharli]

Haha no I wouldn't want to propose either but it's always an option

Ahh yeah I bet you could do something really special then with a budget. My mum's second wedding hardly cost anything in the end, I think most of the cost was the honeymoon! But it was lovely, it was at a yacht club with lovely views and just a buffet type thing for food. It really all depends on what you want I guess, obviously a castle and the 3 course sit down dinner will be a lot more. What is your ideal wedding?

 

[BexTez]

Rose that is rubbish, my cousin is in the same boat with her OH! It's ovelybtgat he wants to give up that ideal wedding though in front of everyone, but money rose they are expensive!! We ended up going £3000 into debt from our wedding, which from what I hear isn't actually a huge amount but we're still paying it off 18 months later and I often wonder if I wouldn't have been just as happy with a tea and cakes type reception! But it was a lovely day, just annoying that I let us go into debt over it, after all it is only one day!!
Funny side note, we didn't invite children and one of my friends really kicked off saying she wouldn't come then and how it was really rude! She did come in the end and actually got married in secret herself so couldn't moan after that, but now I have Isla I'd be the same! Can't ever admit that to her though lol!!

With the BFing, she only lost 6% of her weight so really not too bad, she's being weighed again today so will see how she's doing! The pressure to do it a certain way is silly, it's no wonder so many women give up because trying to make a baby feed when it doesn't want to is near to impossible!! When I realised hat sometimes she'll feed twice in an hour and sometimes not for 4 hours I relaxed a lot and started enjoying it!!

 

[Rose83]

My brother and his wife borrowed £13,000 for their wedding! And they definitely spent more than that - her dress alone was £3000 but her mum paid for it. I thought that was pretty ridiculous, no way would I borrow that kind of money. One of my cousins spent £25k on theirs and another £6k. In all honesty the £6k one was probably the most enjoyable.
Do you know I really don't know what my ideal 'if money was no object' wedding would be. I like traditional buildings etc but I'm not really religious so I often feel like I'd be a bit of a hypocrit to get married in a religious environment, there is an abbey in my OH's home town which is lovely but that alone costs £1000 to get married in. Or the university I went to and my OH was working at when we met has a lovely chapel but again costs £1000. I suppose in all honesty I did picture a church wedding or at least a very ornate building of some kind. We once sat and talked about who we'd invite and even being super strict we came up with 100 guests who were either family or very close friends and I always envisioned the full sit down at big round decorated tables type affair. I do like a wel decorated marquee too although with Scottish weather that could be a mistake!
But honestly thinking about all these things makes it seem so silly - the most important things to me were probably always the love of my life proposing to me and getting married (as in the actual being married) and not the wedding. And I guess I just wanted it to look pretty and be a big celebration but you can definitely do that without spending anything like the amount some of the family i mentioned above have! X

 

[Rose83]

Bex do you track feeding on an app or anything? I have an app on my phone and it's brilliant as I log every feed and so I can see patterns developing of quieter periods in the day and other times where he cluster feeds so it's really easy to see when he is getting enough x

 

[BexTez]

Rose I don't, that sounds great, I'll get one!

We had her weighed today and she's put on 10g, which midwife said is low as she would have expected 40g in 2 days. It left me a bit down tbh and I had a little cry (seem to have a lot of those these days!) cause I thought we were doing better and she was feeding well and the MW just made me feel a bit crappy about it. She said I don't need a feeing plan but it's now made me masssivwly anxious that if she doesn't put it on faster we'll be back to the stressful every 3 hours routine and not basing it on what she wants which I don't want! I'd rather express and bottle feed than try to ram my boob in her mouth every 3 hours when she doesn't want to take it!

I'll get the app though, I feel like it'll build my confidence hat she is feeding well. I suppose the jaundice doesn't help as it makes her very sleepy so she quite often falls asleep during feeds or is too drowsy to latch on.

I can't believe that for something meant to be so natural, it's so damn hard!! xxxx

 

[Rose83]

Oh Bex that's rubbish, and the midwife doesn't sound like she has given you that much support. It really is very hard and they should maybe be suggesting some help from feeding specialists to make sure her latch is ok. Has she been checked for tongue tie as that can affect effectiveness of feeding and therefore of weight gain? Also something I started to do this time when he seemed not to be putting on the weight as quickly at first was to do two feeds from the same side before switching, I found he wasn't properly emptying the breast in a feed so wasn't really getting to the good high fat stuff and therefore not gaining but once I did two feeds from same side he definitely was and his weight shot up. The app should help you feel better though and don't let them get you down, feeding truly on demand is way better than forcing the 3 hour thing x

 

[MissCharli]

Omg I couldn't imagine spending that much at all! Crazy. I've just never seen the need haha, I'm quite simple really. I would no way get into debt either, which I guess is why I'm still waiting! I don't do debt haha.

But I would like to get married somewhere nice/pretty in an ideal world, somewhere I can have nice photos taken. But that can be anywhere I guess, even just a local park or beach. But I'm fairly certain that if my OH gets his usual bonus in March we will get married next year. But I don't plan on spending more than £1000 max (though the one thing OH is fussy about is rings, so might be more than that - that's up to him!).

I hope you do get to grips with BF Bex, I wish that I had tried harder! Good luck

 

[Prrrfect]

Hi girls,
Hoping some one sees my message..

Can’t find the Facebook page Misscharli has set up

How can I find you?

Xxxx