Why would you NOT breastfeed?

[DebbieM]

Sleepless nights for a breastfeeding Mum are normal. It's going to happen. I'm afraid I'm not part of the 'Happy Mummy, Happy Baby Brigade' as I have seen on many forums. As a new Mum, you are going to be tired, feel low, be sore etc, but it's something that I guess in my eyes, you need to expect really.

I have FF my son since day two of his life and I have to say that I also had sleepless nights, I was very tired, low and sore. Just because I FF him does not mean I did so to avoid the above. Unfortunatly, babies who are FF DO wake in the night and on top of dealing with the baby you have fresh bottles to prepare at daft o'clock in the morning!

I'm not having a go Debbie, I think you and all other BF mothers deserve a big So WELL DONE

What I meant was, soreness from your nipples feeling like they are being sucked off and stung by a million bee's.

I respect that FF'ing is hard work too and I did mention that, well, touched on it in a round about way when I said about thinking it would be 'easy' to FF but realise that it is far from easy when you have to sterilise etc all the time. What I mean is, that when you BF, you are the sole feeder (if you don't use EBM) so you can be up several times in the night and no-one else can help. At least with a bottle of formula, if you have a partner, he/she can take over if required.

 

[Full of hope!]

I obviously didn't have the soreness of the nipples but my boobs were still very sore along with other parts after giving birth, ouchy!

I understand what you are saying Debbie, I was lucky, my hubby did help out but I know that many women are single mam's or just don't have the support from their partners

I normally stay quiet on here and don't give my opinions on anything so I apologise if I don't word things properly

 

[Jen & Her Men]

I keep reading your post Debbie and turning it off and then coming back to it again cos I really dont want to sound like im trying to heat things up cos im really not but i really need to comment about your post. Im not making this personal, or Im trying very hard not to because im not singling you out, its just that to me, a few things that you have said completely pinpoints why ff's feel like they are looked down upon on the forum.

You said that you think that people who give up after 1 week have given up too soon. That is a judgement! Its a judgemental statement. It would be a factual statement if you knew every single mother who had swopped to formula after 1 week and had sat there with them and gone through their week and known their exact circumstances and all the extenuating circumstances that made them come to the decision that they did. But there is no way you can do that. So all that statements like that serve to do is make all the ff's that gave up after 1 week feel like crap and feel like a bad mum for giving up.

Thing is, we all have one thing in common in that we are mums. And therefore we tend to think that we all experience similar problems etc etc which is true to an extent. But when you say how difficult your first 6 weeks were, whose to say that the initial weeks for other mums who didnt continue bf were not even worse? You cant say that because you dont know. That IN NO WAY detracts from the fact that you should feel proud of your achievements and that for you, the pain was bloody awful etc but you persevered and hats off to you for that. BUT because YOU did doesnt mean that everyone else is going to be able to too and they shouldnt be made to feel bad because of that. You had your own set of problems and adversity to overcome but "problems and adversity" and "pain" is a very individual thing and you cant expect to understand the unique problems etc of every mother so to say that to give up after one week is too soon and that you managed to get through the pain really does make others feel like sh*t cos they didnt.
Now Im not saying you shouldnt big up your achievement - of course you should. But making statements like "giving up after 1 week is too soon" doesnt celebrate your achievement it just makes other people feel like sh*t and it makes a healthy debate into something more personal because now all the mums reading this who gave up after 1 week take it personally. Which of course they are going to do. And i dont think thats fair because you cant know or understand all of their circumstances.

Also, whether you meant it or not, the inference of the statement " I'm afraid I'm not part of the 'Happy Mummy, Happy Baby Brigade' as I have seen on many forums. As a new Mum, you are going to be tired, feel low, be sore etc, but it's something that I guess in my eyes, you need to expect really" is that ff's give up bf to get a good nights kip or for an easier life!! that is just not true! Not every partner is supportive and many work away. My husband does and I think since James was born he has done 2 night feeds. So its not a case of being able to share the responsibility if you ff. I fully expect to be in pain, discomfort, knackered to the point you want to extract your eyeballs and wash em out BUT i dont expect to be crying continuously day after day, feel so isolated and lonely as i have no one around me, with a baby attached to my boob who is never satisfied no matter how much milk he gets, with boobs so huge i cant put my arms by my side whilst trying to get in a comfy position with a c section scar etc etc etc. Thats just my personal experience and one i battled with for 6 weeks but im sure other people had even worse problems and circumstances than me and thats why they chose to switch to formula....

I suppose what im trying to get at in all of this is that BFers say that they feel bad about celebrating their achievements. There aint NOTHING wrong with celebrating your achievements, but because you were able to do it doesnt give you the right to judge others because they were not able to do it, or chose not to do it. (again im not saying ALL BF's do this but i just found this post a little on the sweeping statement/judgemental side) There are sooo many different facets to bringing up a healthy and happy baby. Feeding it formula / breast milk is a tiny part of that and to my mind although the difference DOES exist between the quality of the two, its not a huge enough margin to be a miserable mummy for...and i think that point is lost sometimes in a bid to be super-mummy and do everything "perfectly"...

 

[Morganuk]

What a very interesting thread. I'm glad that people here can be adult about a subject that is obviously very controversial. We all have opinions and I think we should be able to express them, which brings me on to mine

When I was pregnant, and for many years before, I swore that I would NEVER breastfeed. I had witnessed my sister feeding 2 of her children and I thought it was a massive inconvenience, not one that I would want to go through. She wouldn't/couldn't feed in public, one of her boys would feed for 90 minutes at a time and the thought of it was horrendous. I couldn't bear the thought of something sucking for hours on my nipples. It freaked me out.

When I got a few months into the pregnancy, I changed my mind and decided that I would give it a go and that if it didn't work out, then I wouldn't beat myself up about it.

Breastfeeding for me in the first 6 weeks was like living in hell on earth. It was horrible. I was in pain. I had no sleep. I was in a very bad place at feeding times if I'm honest to the point of biting my own hands and pulling my own hair. I screamed at my helpless little baby and felt like the shittest person on the face of the earth. I dreaded nursing Luke and sometimes felt like switching to bottles for, what I thought at the time would be "ease" (far from it with sterilising etc as I now realise)

I felt I didn't have any support and it wasn't until week 6 where it all clicked into place. I wasn't in excruciating pain anymore and I actually enjoyed feeding Luke and I knew he was enjoying it too.

Now, my honest opinion, and it is my honest opinion, is that I personally feel that every baby deserves the best start in life. I believe, that, is to be breastfed by his or her Mother. I also believe that in some cases, people give up too easily. I know that the support isn't out there for new mothers and here in Peterborough, we are very lucky (or soon to be lucky) that there is a lady who is so keen to help out new Mums that she, herself, has taken on board recruiting people like me, to become peer supporters so we can go to the Maternity Unit, Baby Cafe's, you name it, she will send us, to help these new Mum's that have problems and need help. I know that it isn't available everywhere and I also know that in the early days/weeks, you can feel extremely isolated. I always felt like I was the only one going through it at the time. Little did I know I was in a majority, rather than a minority which is unfortunate.



I've come to find out that there are very few women who are able to successfully breastfeed straight away. It takes a lot of determination and it is hard work. Again, being honest, I feel sad when people try for a week and then give up. A week isn't long enough. It's a skill that needs to be learned and it's not one that can be learned overnight. (I wish it was). Sleepless nights for a breastfeeding Mum are normal. It's going to happen. I'm afraid I'm not part of the 'Happy Mummy, Happy Baby Brigade' as I have seen on many forums. As a new Mum, you are going to be tired, feel low, be sore etc, but it's something that I guess in my eyes, you need to expect really.

I'm not saying that formula is poison. It's not. I have chosen not to feed Luke formula. I don't want to. I know that my milk is better for him and I can honestly say that unless there is a medical reason, then I don't think he will ever taste formula, and I am proud of that.

I do feel that sometimes I am scared to say how proud I am as a breastfeeding Mum in case of upsetting people here. At the end of the day, I have done a marvelous thing for my son and I AM proud, Christ, I am REALLY proud. It has been the toughest challenge, yet, the biggest achievement of my life.

I want to just end with the fact that I KNOW that not everyone is able to breastfeed, whether it be for the Mother's medical reasons (medication, previous surgeries, etc) or baby's medical reasons (tongue tie, premature, etc), but, I do believe that other than that, it's certainly worth a go and a good go at that.

I think I am done now. Thanks for reading

="DebbieM"] also believe that in some cases, people give up too easily.

Looking back on myself I have to agree, I could have pushed harder for help.
With Jaeda I said from the start that I would formular feed because of the stress and sitting back for a few days I am starting to regret this choice as I could have tried again
I think when I have another one will try breast feeding again as things are much better now then they were when I had Ben.
I certainly commend you ladies throughout this post as you have struggled and still pushed on.
I cerainly can not and never will look down upon FF as I am one myself but I now believe that if you are able, emotionally and physcially that ts worth a go right?
This thread has certainly been interesting and have made me look at myself and my own reasons and in this case my reasons I believe are not good enough for not at least having another go at it?
I'm sure i'm not the only one to have questioned myself in relation to this topic ?

Has anyone else took a good look at the choices and reasons behind it?
Has anyone like myself changed there mind on the matter?

 

[CoreysMummy]

Ahh, I love those blinkies!! I think I need one in my sig!

I FF after about a week mabey. Anyways because of his allergy/intolerance he needs prescription formula - what can I do..

I will try again with number 2!! But if it dosent go to plan then I will FF. My son has never even so much as caught a snuffle never mind a cold!!! *touches wood* So the formula must be doing something for him! So long as hes happy and healthy thats all that matters!

 

[Becky]

I had a really bad time with breastfeeding, due to so many different factors. DD was born on the Friday morning and fed initially really well while I was on the painkillers for my (emergency) section but by the time Saturday night came I had blood blisters on my nipples, hadn't slept for 4 days/nights and couldn't understand why this baby wanted to be permanantly attached to my boobs. I was in a right state emotionally as I felt I'd already "failed" my daughter because of the section and now was on the verge of giving up BF.

I had gone into the whole pregnancy thing with a very rosy view and had no concept of just how hard labour and birth and feeding were going to be. I couldn't believe I was going to fail my daughter for the 2nd time before she was 48 hours old. Thankfully I had the support of some good midwives who convinced me that formula was not going to do DD any harm but that if they took DD and gave her a bottle it would give me a chance for a rest and I could make a decision from fresh in the morning. This worked for me. I got some sleep and DD never had formula again but I did wean at 4 months (which I know is against the ideal) and I've done many other things that aren't viewed as the "right" way.

I know how hard it is and I know the feelings that come with that sense of doing less than the best for your child. I know how guilty you feel when you think or are made to feel that somehow you've put your own convenience before your child's needs. No-one should feel that, it's awful.

The thing is no-one is in your shoes and only you can know what's right for your baby, at the end of the day only you have to live with the decisions and if it's right for you then go for it. And ultimately what's right for you isn't going to right for me. No-one needs to justify their choices, so long as the child is happy why does it matter?

I'm lucky, I'm on the "nicer" side of this debate but if this was a debate about sleeping positions I'd be on the other side as I put DD to sleep on her tummy from quite early on. Does this make me a bad mum? Does hearing that change your opinion of me? Maybe, but I'm happy that it was the right choice for us.

 

[poppy160]

I will try again with number 2!! But if it dosent go to plan then I will FF. My son has never even so much as caught a snuffle never mind a cold!!! *touches wood* So the formula must be doing something for him!

Same here! Ella was exclusively breastfed for 5 weeks, then was fed formula full time from 6 weeks onwards and has only just got her first proper cold, and that was probably down to swimming on holiday. I admit, I do get offended because of peoples statements (and not just on this particular thread) that breastfeeding is the reason their child hasn't been ill.

 

[fran_23]

I keep reading your post Debbie and turning it off and then coming back to it again cos I really dont want to sound like im trying to heat things up cos im really not but i really need to comment about your post. Im not making this personal, or Im trying very hard not to because im not singling you out, its just that to me, a few things that you have said completely pinpoints why ff's feel like they are looked down upon on the forum.

You said that you think that people who give up after 1 week have given up too soon. That is a judgement! Its a judgemental statement. It would be a factual statement if you knew every single mother who had swopped to formula after 1 week and had sat there with them and gone through their week and known their exact circumstances and all the extenuating circumstances that made them come to the decision that they did. But there is no way you can do that. So all that statements like that serve to do is make all the ff's that gave up after 1 week feel like crap and feel like a bad mum for giving up.

Thing is, we all have one thing in common in that we are mums. And therefore we tend to think that we all experience similar problems etc etc which is true to an extent. But when you say how difficult your first 6 weeks were, whose to say that the initial weeks for other mums who didnt continue bf were not even worse? You cant say that because you dont know. That IN NO WAY detracts from the fact that you should feel proud of your achievements and that for you, the pain was bloody awful etc but you persevered and hats off to you for that. BUT because YOU did doesnt mean that everyone else is going to be able to too and they shouldnt be made to feel bad because of that. You had your own set of problems and adversity to overcome but "problems and adversity" and "pain" is a very individual thing and you cant expect to understand the unique problems etc of every mother so to say that to give up after one week is too soon and that you managed to get through the pain really does make others feel like sh*t cos they didnt.
Now Im not saying you shouldnt big up your achievement - of course you should. But making statements like "giving up after 1 week is too soon" doesnt celebrate your achievement it just makes other people feel like sh*t and it makes a healthy debate into something more personal because now all the mums reading this who gave up after 1 week take it personally. Which of course they are going to do. And i dont think thats fair because you cant know or understand all of their circumstances.

Also, whether you meant it or not, the inference of the statement " I'm afraid I'm not part of the 'Happy Mummy, Happy Baby Brigade' as I have seen on many forums. As a new Mum, you are going to be tired, feel low, be sore etc, but it's something that I guess in my eyes, you need to expect really" is that ff's give up bf to get a good nights kip or for an easier life!! that is just not true! Not every partner is supportive and many work away. My husband does and I think since James was born he has done 2 night feeds. So its not a case of being able to share the responsibility if you ff. I fully expect to be in pain, discomfort, knackered to the point you want to extract your eyeballs and wash em out BUT i dont expect to be crying continuously day after day, feel so isolated and lonely as i have no one around me, with a baby attached to my boob who is never satisfied no matter how much milk he gets, with boobs so huge i cant put my arms by my side whilst trying to get in a comfy position with a c section scar etc etc etc. Thats just my personal experience and one i battled with for 6 weeks but im sure other people had even worse problems and circumstances than me and thats why they chose to switch to formula....

I suppose what im trying to get at in all of this is that BFers say that they feel bad about celebrating their achievements. There aint NOTHING wrong with celebrating your achievements, but because you were able to do it doesnt give you the right to judge others because they were not able to do it, or chose not to do it. (again im not saying ALL BF's do this but i just found this post a little on the sweeping statement/judgemental side) There are sooo many different facets to bringing up a healthy and happy baby. Feeding it formula / breast milk is a tiny part of that and to my mind although the difference DOES exist between the quality of the two, its not a huge enough margin to be a miserable mummy for...and i think that point is lost sometimes in a bid to be super-mummy and do everything "perfectly"...

I am in agreeance because actually i completely applaud brestfeeders well done i think you should all be proud of your achievments, i know its hard work and i would have loved to breastfeed myself and Debbie i know you didn't say certain things to antagonise anyone here and i don't want to heat things up either its just that comments such as "every baby deserves the chance for the best start" that get to me..of course they do but it is a mothers choice at the end of the day..you have your child and you have breasfed i think thats fantastic but i really see why formula feeding mums feel looked down on when brestfeeders say things like that because its not just saying "breastfeeding is the best for your baby if thats what you want to do and you are stuck we can help support you" its saying "you have failed your child" not directly but thats what i read sometimes! I couldn't breastfeed for medical reasons and it upset me a lot, i have never before entered into a breastfeeding/formula debate on here because i was upset but my child is healthy and thriving and bright and i don't feel that i have poisoned him by feeding him formula. But i want to say i thought i had let it go but i don't like feeling that people might think i took the easy route or something like that by using formula, my partner worked nights when Hayden was born so i was the solo feeder anyway and i was blessed with a good baby but in the first weeks i was still doing all the night feeding alone and that means getting up to prepare a bottle, the whole steralizing shebang etc..i know you recognised in your post that FF involves work with all of that but just to generally state again that FF isnt actually "an easy/lazy route". I think i have lost sight of why i started writing this now TBH..but basically your post was good and i wouldnt like to think any breastfeeding mums were worried to say they are proud for risk of offending FF mums, that is not what offends me actually, its the fact that sometimes comments are made the make FF mums feel that "you" (generally) think we are inadequate, lazy and couldnt be bothered to give our babies the best. When i think you know that isnt the case some girls tried very very hard and struggled until they said enough is enough, i'm unhappy and my baby is unhappy something has to give..so yes i do believe happy mum leads eventually to a happy baby its just common sense really and dont think for one second that changing to formula automatically cures the sleepless nights and tired new mum syndrome because it does not, we still have sleepless nights same as any new mums regardless of what is being fed. And not to mention soreness from stitches/c-section scar..and blocked ducts etc when milk is drying up, which sometimes takes a while.

 

[DebbieM]

I keep reading your post Debbie and turning it off and then coming back to it again cos I really dont want to sound like im trying to heat things up cos im really not but i really need to comment about your post. Im not making this personal, or Im trying very hard not to because im not singling you out, its just that to me, a few things that you have said completely pinpoints why ff's feel like they are looked down upon on the forum.

You said that you think that people who give up after 1 week have given up too soon. That is a judgement! Its a judgemental statement. It would be a factual statement if you knew every single mother who had swopped to formula after 1 week and had sat there with them and gone through their week and known their exact circumstances and all the extenuating circumstances that made them come to the decision that they did. But there is no way you can do that. So all that statements like that serve to do is make all the ff's that gave up after 1 week feel like crap and feel like a bad mum for giving up.

Thing is, we all have one thing in common in that we are mums. And therefore we tend to think that we all experience similar problems etc etc which is true to an extent. But when you say how difficult your first 6 weeks were, whose to say that the initial weeks for other mums who didnt continue bf were not even worse? You cant say that because you dont know. That IN NO WAY detracts from the fact that you should feel proud of your achievements and that for you, the pain was bloody awful etc but you persevered and hats off to you for that. BUT because YOU did doesnt mean that everyone else is going to be able to too and they shouldnt be made to feel bad because of that. You had your own set of problems and adversity to overcome but "problems and adversity" and "pain" is a very individual thing and you cant expect to understand the unique problems etc of every mother so to say that to give up after one week is too soon and that you managed to get through the pain really does make others feel like sh*t cos they didnt.
Now Im not saying you shouldnt big up your achievement - of course you should. But making statements like "giving up after 1 week is too soon" doesnt celebrate your achievement it just makes other people feel like sh*t and it makes a healthy debate into something more personal because now all the mums reading this who gave up after 1 week take it personally. Which of course they are going to do. And i dont think thats fair because you cant know or understand all of their circumstances.

Also, whether you meant it or not, the inference of the statement " I'm afraid I'm not part of the 'Happy Mummy, Happy Baby Brigade' as I have seen on many forums. As a new Mum, you are going to be tired, feel low, be sore etc, but it's something that I guess in my eyes, you need to expect really" is that ff's give up bf to get a good nights kip or for an easier life!! that is just not true! Not every partner is supportive and many work away. My husband does and I think since James was born he has done 2 night feeds. So its not a case of being able to share the responsibility if you ff. I fully expect to be in pain, discomfort, knackered to the point you want to extract your eyeballs and wash em out BUT i dont expect to be crying continuously day after day, feel so isolated and lonely as i have no one around me, with a baby attached to my boob who is never satisfied no matter how much milk he gets, with boobs so huge i cant put my arms by my side whilst trying to get in a comfy position with a c section scar etc etc etc. Thats just my personal experience and one i battled with for 6 weeks but im sure other people had even worse problems and circumstances than me and thats why they chose to switch to formula....

I suppose what im trying to get at in all of this is that BFers say that they feel bad about celebrating their achievements. There aint NOTHING wrong with celebrating your achievements, but because you were able to do it doesnt give you the right to judge others because they were not able to do it, or chose not to do it. (again im not saying ALL BF's do this but i just found this post a little on the sweeping statement/judgemental side) There are sooo many different facets to bringing up a healthy and happy baby. Feeding it formula / breast milk is a tiny part of that and to my mind although the difference DOES exist between the quality of the two, its not a huge enough margin to be a miserable mummy for...and i think that point is lost sometimes in a bid to be super-mummy and do everything "perfectly"...

I don't have time right now but I don't think my post was at all judgmental or sweeping. I thought long and hard about it in fact. My opinion, Jen, is that I feel a week is not long enough to give BFing a go. That's MY opinion and I thought that's what we were doing here? Voicing opinions.

 

[DebbieM]

And also, just for the record, I never said ANYWHERE that FF'ing Mum's are lazy. I think BF Mum's have it easier once BF'ing is established because we don't have to sterlise and make bottles etc. I've always said that.

 

[Squiglet]

I think what people confuse with breastfeeding is the long term and short term benefits. Its not necessarily true that breastfeeding prevents coughs and colds... Generally breastfeeding doesn't prevent them.... babies and children share germs and have no clue they are doing it... so among children they spread like wild fire... Infact babies who have siblings tend to have more illnesses regardless of their feeding than babies on their own with parents who don't work. Its the isolation factor.

Now what breastfeeding does protect against are long terms issues and serious illness... ie:

• have a lower incidence of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS)
• are less likely to suffer from infectious illnesses and their symptoms (e.g., diarrhea,7 ear infections,7,8 respiratory tract infections, meningitis7)
• have a lower risk of the two most common inflammatory bowel diseases (Crohn’s disease, ulcerative colitis)9
• suffer less often from some forms of cancer (e.g., Hodgkin’s disease,10 childhood leukemia)
• have a lower risk of juvenile onset diabetes, if they have a family history of the disease and are breastfed exclusively for at least 4
months9
• are significantly protected against asthma and eczema, if at risk for allergic disorders and exclusively breastfed for at least 4 months11,12
• may have a lower risk of obesity in childhood and in adolescence13,14
• have fewer cavities and are less likely to require braces

http://www.usbreastfeeding.org/Issue-Papers/Benefits.pdf

In the same way that putting a baby to sleep on its back helps reduce the risk of SIDS, it doesn't prevent it and not every baby placed on their front to sleep dies, but the medical profession have put the seed of doubt into us and now everyone thinks that this will happen. Not everyone who smokes gets lung cancer yet many people who have never touched a cigarette do... Breast feeding isn't a miracle cure, it just lowers the risk factors.... Its taking a set of risk factors, and making a decision based on those risk factors. You know if you smoke and quit then you reduce the risk of developing cancer, but its no guarantee... you can breastfeed, but its no guarantee your baby won't get sick...

I think a lot of people get confused in the sense that they believe that breastfeeding makes healthier babies... but thats not necessarily true.... its the benefits it provides in later life and the reduction of serious illnesses and symptoms that can cause death in childhood...You might have a perfectly healthy baby who is fed on formula and an unhealthy one breastfeeding... but we make choices everyday that put our kids at risk... such as driving too fast or just getting in the car... but then we do things to counteract it like putting them in a good car seat and trying to remember to drive more safely....

As I said... give the parents all the information... the real truthful information about formula and breastmilk and let them decide.

 

[fran_23]

And also, just for the record, I never said ANYWHERE that FF'ing Mum's are lazy. I think BF Mum's have it easier once BF'ing is established because we don't have to sterlise and make bottles etc. I've always said that.

If that was aimed at me then i didn't quote you as saying we were lazy, i actually wrote that you had stated in your post the extra work what goes with FF and said just to state again (by which i meant for everyone) thst FF mums are not taking the easy route!

 

[fran_23]

And also, just for the record, I never said ANYWHERE that FF'ing Mum's are lazy. I think BF Mum's have it easier once BF'ing is established because we don't have to sterlise and make bottles etc. I've always said that.

If that was aimed at me then i didn't quote you as saying we were lazy, i actually wrote that you had stated in your post the extra work that goes with FF and said just to state again (by which i meant for everyone) that FF mums are not taking the easy route!

Fran_23 but in the first weeks i was still doing all the night feeding alone and that means getting up to prepare a bottle, the whole steralizing shebang etc..i know you recognised in your post that FF involves work with all of that but just to generally state again that FF isnt actually "an easy/lazy route".

 

[beanie]

I agree Squiglet, informed choice is needed.

People disagree, that's life. What one person thinks is right for their child is not for another person's child. This debate has centred around formula feeding mums feeling that they are being judged and that sweeping generalisations are made etc etc but how is that different from any other part of this forum or parenting? Take the MMR jab, I have read so many posts from people who say that mums who don't immunise their children against MMR are selfish and irresponsible (if I said that about someone who was feeding their child formula there would be hell to pay - btw before I get flamed, I don't think that). I haven't given my girls the MMR and I don't think I am either of those but tbh if people disagree with me about it I really couldn't give a toss, I know my reasons for not doing it and those that matter to me know I would never endanger my children on a whim. Same with not having a routine (because all children need a routine apparently), BLW (I am increasing the choking risk apparently), sling wearing (my children will never walk), self weaning (bitty is a favourite comment). teething necklaces (hippy nonsense), cloth nappies (again will interfere with walking). I feel just as judged as other mums.

 

[Misslarue]

As as failed BF (for various reasons stated in my previous posts) I would just like to add my 2 cents as regards to FF mums feeling offended.

As a FF mum, I have never felt inferior or offended by any breastfeeding mothers on this forum. I have never felt looked down upon or judged in anyway. When I see blinkes or sigs celebrating achievements, it doesn't make me feel bad or guilty about my own failings. My own guilt is directed at myself by me. I judge me. It's a private thing between me and my son and is not effected by anyone else.

 

[mrs_tommo22]

This is getting rediculous - i can see both sides of the arguments Debbies and Jens and each both have their good points and bad.

Why can we not celebrate breastfeeding and formula feeding? Both are hard work in there own ways. Either way providing child is happy and fulfilled and mother is at peace of mind.

What is the big fooking deal - both parties get over it.

 

[poppy160]

Sorry I really am, it's because when I did stop breastfeeding my babies fell ill (it was really the best thing for them, but I should have respected not for everybody).

Sorry to bring up Scouts previous posts, but this is one of the ones in particular I was referring to. Of course I realise the very best thing for a young baby's immune system is breastmilk and I accept that, it can help to prevent infections, etc that formula milk can't. But I was just talking generally about coughs and colds because like I said, I've noticed that a few people seem to think a breastfed baby is a lot less likely to fall ill with those types of illnesses when that simply isn't true. My FF baby is proof of that.

I found your post quite interesting, Squig..I didn't realise that long-term BF'ing could help to prevent those types of illnesses later in life..I was breastfed as a baby so that could be the reason why I have no cavities and didn't need braces

 

[fran_23]

Yeah i agree with you mrs_tommo i'm just not gonna post anymore, i couldn't breastfeed for more than 5 days but formula hasn't done Haydey pops any harm, Hes a very clever 2 year old so i am over it, lol! I didnt really want an argument i just wanted to say lets not put others down and make them feel bad we all make OUR OWN choices for OUR OWN babies, its nothing to do with each other unless we need help and support so come on girls lets not argue anymore!!

 

[Misslarue]

Fran completely off topic, I want your drink it looks delicious!
What is it?!

 

[beanie]

this is a debate, not an arguement. If you don't want to take part then don't (I am saying that in a nice way) but I for one have found this a great thread and I think it will hopefully help everyone.