Why can't I breastfeed? UD pg 2 - I'm doing it!!!

[Daffodil]

Firstly, I'm sorry if you're all totally sick of me and my threads recently.

I REALLY want to breastfeed and its killing me that I can't.

Meadow actually latched a few days ago and fed, but since then hasn't!!! I'm so down about it.

I've followed advice. I'm expressing to keep up / build up supply. She is getting expressed milk for some feeds but I have to feed mostly formula because my supply is still low.

I've tried nipple shields. She sucks and screams because no milk was coming out through the shields. I think I'd need to really increase my supply before the milk would flow through the shield enough for her.

Normal latching - she will latch and then suck, but then gets really upset and screams cos the milk isn't coming out like it does from the bottle.

I've just bought this online and hope it will work: what do you think?
http://www.expressyourselfmums.co.uk/de ... ing-System its supposed to help Meadow feed from the breast whilst being supplemented.

If I didn't want to breastfeed so much I wouldn't be doing all this. I'm so fed up that someone like me who REALLY REALLY wanted to breastfeed hasn't had success and other people seem to just do it so easily.

I'm going to have to make this my last breastfeeding thread because how long can I go on about this?

Dawn

 

[LisaJ1986]

Have you tried staying in bed for a couple of days? Just you and baby, plenty or drinks and dvd's. Just constant skin to skin, keep trying to latch and let her suck, even if it's just comfort sucking.

 

[NickyB]

I don't feel 'qualified' to answer most posts in this section because I'm new at this. I really want to say, don't stop posting for support though, its why its here!

As for supply, I've read lots of comments about perseverance and prolonged skin to skin to increase your supply but I know others know more.

Lastly, if you just cant do it, it's not the end of the world, you've tried really hard and that counts.

 

[Snuggle]

I cant give any advice as I'm a failed breastfeeder but just wanted to offer hugs

 

[Charlie:-)]

I love your determination so keep positive and keep focused and you will get there.

The "thing" (not quite sure what to call it) you have bought looks great in theory it shoudl work and I really hope it does.

Have you tried expressing the boob first before you put Meadow on to try and get the milk flowing then she might not get as frustrated and she can take her few sucks and the milk will be there for her?

Good luck, let us know how you get on

 

[Daffodil]

I'm doing my best having skin to skin contact....I really enjoy it BUT I simply cannot stay in bed all day long I find that staying in bed all day just depresses me and makes things nearly impossible....

E.g. this morning I'm in bed with meadow skin to skin....she starts crying and I try to latch her...she doesn't latch and screams like crazy. I am then trying to get a bottle out downstairs half naked holding a screaming baby feeling crap because she didn't latch...

Sitting in bed all day in a pig sty of a house with noone to talk to will just help bring on my depression more I think, if I am honest. Sometimes putting her down in her moses basket or pram whilst I do things a bit during the day will help. I find it wierd that some people are in bed all day long with their babies - but hey they are the ones who are successfully breastfeeding I suppose.

I have ordered a sling though. This will hopefully help so that I can have her skin to skin with the sling on.

I actually feel stressed when its coming up to her feed....having a bottle to hand because she screams....feeling really really down if she doesn't want to breastfeed. she must pick up on my stress somewhere, I need to calm down but I can't get out of my head how much this means to me.

Dawn

 

[Daffodil]

I've tried expressing a few times and then trying to latch her. It seems that she still thinks the milk isn't enough?! Not 100% certain but I think that might be it because why else would she latch, suck, then pull away and scream?



and I had a blissful 1 hour where she fed from me all those days ago.

Dawn

 

[LisaJ1986]

I know it sounds difficult but try to relax. Maybe start trying a few minutes before you think she's due for a feed (if you time them that is)
Like suggested try getting the flow going like with the pump, put some milk on your nipple so she knows it's there.

You need to be so proud of yourself for trying this long!!! Your determination is amazing, even if you don't succeed.

 

[kalia]

It sounds that, like me, you panic when your baby cries and do everything to stop it. This is natural of course but your baby is learning that if she cries she will get a bottle. I have no advice about how to get round that as you know my strange feeding situation!

I'm sure I read that babies cry because they are in pain from the hunger so trying to breastfeed when she is hungry and therefore crying will be hard. Maybe try expressing a little to get the flow going and offering the breast about half an hour before she is likely to be hungry, with a nipple shield on if that helps her latch. With DD I would have o hold my breast in the right shape for her.

Are you getting professional help? I really would recommend it if you can go. There is a support group on Mondays from 1-2, details here:
http://www.alwpct.nhs.uk/Health%20Devel ... groups.pdf
And there are even more support groups here:
http://www.breastfeedingcommunity.co.uk ... h_west.htm


Don't stop posting - keep asking for advice if and when you need it! After all, this is actually quite a slow board And let us know how things are going too.

 

[purple13]

firstly your determination is more than half the battle. you're doing brilliantly and should be rightly proud of yourself.

secondly - don't stop posting - bfing is not easy and you need lots of support. we're all here to help

thirdly - i'm intruiged by the sns - let us know how it goes!

i would recommend the following:

* keep with the bed-ins, no matter how boring. housework can wait! take your phone to bed and call people if you're lonely. or transfer to your sofa if you want - the important thing is resting with skin to skin contact. i get down when the house is a tip too - maybe ask a relative or a friend to come and hoover/dust for you? slinging will help, but just make sure you don't do too much

* the more you feed formula, the less chance you have of increasing your supply. the only way you can will your supply up is to live with your LO on your boob, whilst expressing if you feel that you need to top up. eat lots of oats, take fenugreek, drink fennel tea & blackthorn juice. if you think that you are not producing enough/any milk despite this, talk to your GP as there are medications that you can take to increase milk supply.

* ditch the bottles - hopefully your sns will reduce the need for them anyway, but feed any expressed milk from a cup instead. your LO isn't going to be any keener to feed from the boob if she knows that the easy option is readily available.

* as kalia suggested, go to a support group. i went to mine when connor was 4 days old and we were struggling, and i still go now. they're great.

* see if your PCT have a breastfeeding councillor who can visit you at home. and talk to LLL and/or an NCT breastfeeding councillor - http://www.laleche.org.uk & http://www.nct.org.uk/info-centre/helplines


stick around and don't be afraid to post honey. you're doing a very special thing by persevering with breastfeeding.

 

[cloud9]

When i was in hospital with Dylan i had to top up his feeds as he had jaundice but i topped up with giving him sips expressed from medicine tots...so he wasn't confused.

i would certainly echo what the others are saying get some milk on your nipple so she knows what she is looking for ...also maybe try a bit of relaxation before feeding...

also try a support group you will not be alone with what you are going through

well done for all the effort you are putting in but make sure it isn't at cost to your realtionship with you Lo....While breastfeeding is premoted as the most important thing it is when it works

one thing that helped me was my sil told me it isn't you its how the LO latch on and she manged better with the first than the second as her little girl latched on better than the boy

big hugs to you

 

[MummyJess]

Can't add much to all the really good advice you've been offered here but did want to just add my support.

When I was trying to establish breastfeeding with my oldest daughter I was so ready to just give up but I was very lucky to have my mum supporting me and pretty much refusing to let me offer her formula or give up. I thought she was being harsh at the time but once my supply was established and Chloe figured out what to do then it was so much easier.

I managed to exclusively breastfeed her for 6 months and eventually stopped at around 10 months. I have since managed to breastfeed my other 2 daughters as well. I have found the first couple of weeks the hardest but then after that it was so worth it.

Hope you manage to persevere but if not, then well done for getting this far and giving your daughter such a great start

 

[Mildly]

I can't add much especially as I'm very new to this myself but just wanted you to know that you aren't alone. It hasn't been plain sailing for Oscar and I either. With his tongue tie he doesn't seem to latch onto the breast all that well so my midwife suggested nipple shields. Because we had used formula top ups in hospital he was very resistant at first to the shields as he preferred the bottles where the milk came out with no real effort on his part. We did persevere and now he is quite happy when faced with a nipple shield, the length of the shield is much more productive to him latching and staying on. I must admit, his sucking still causes my eyes to water as it feels like hot knives at first but I keep telling myself that it won't last forever

I would definitely recommend expressing a bit first so that the milk is right there and ready to go. Hopefully it will stop your LO having to suck for too long before she gets anything. My midwifes are great and today they said how well we were doing which really helped I would recommend some sort of outside assistance re breastfeeding, they should be able to come to your home to give you a hand.

Wishing you the best of luck and remember if you do decide to switch to formula, don't beat yourself up, breastfeeding isn't for everyone and there are a million different reasons why it might not work for you

 

[beanie]

I completely aree with all that Purple13 says. It sounds like there is nipple confusion happening, bottles are so much easier to get milk out of. I found DVD'sand some good books got me through the early weeks, that and walks in between as Cally seemed to sleep better when being carried and it just gave my boobs a rest. Is there a local breastfeeding group or baby cafe near you? They are great for meeting other mums, getting support and just getting out of the house.

 

[keli]

Just to echo what everyone else has said really. It does sound like your getting really stressed about it baby will know that if she screams she'll get the bottle which you've got 'ready'. Like has been said you really need to try to give her the breast ALL the time to get your supply going. You could really do with ditching that bottle. I'd def start feeding her before she's hungry so she won't be screaming. Get the milk flowing. In them early days Cooper could be on the breast for hours, he'd have a nap then say 10 mins alert time then on the breast for an hr or so then it would start all over again! lol. Good luck xx

 

[happy-chick]

Some really good advice given Have you been to a support group as you may find that really helpful too? Your doing really well, stick at it hun

 

[valentine]

Hi Daffodil,

Oh honey, I really feel for you.

I definitely agree with all the above - it sounds like you need to ditch the bottles, just put up with the screaming until she realises that she can ONLY be fed from the breast. Easier said than done though, I know. The SNS sounds like a great buy.

It sounds like you are really really stressed to be honest (and I absolutely understand why) and that this fact is crucially not helping matters. I would also be tempted to try the 48/72 hour skin to skin again (being really strict not to offer the bottle, but use the SNS if need be).

Determination is 90% of the battle with b/feeding and you've got that in spades, please please keep going. Please keep posting too, we really want to hear how you are getting on and there is certainly no limits to how many times people can post on any issues.

I wish I lived nearer and I'd come round and help you - I know from your other posts that you're not getting a lot of family support either which really really won't be helping as at this point, it is absolutely crucial that everyone is supporting you - practically by doing housework, letting you do your skin-to-skin but also emotionally too.

I know you can do this petal, I'm so so proud of you for getting this far - keep going.

Valentine Xxx

 

[Squiglet]

Purple13 is right...she's confused between boob and bottle. The thing is the milk comes out much more easily from the bottle than the boob... rather than there is no milk in there. Booby babies have stronger jaw muscles than bottle babies because of this. Like all humans a baby will prefer to get something with little effort than to get something with too much effort.

You need to ditch the bottles and start feeding from a cup or beaker, but only after you have put her to the breast. She will scream and she will cry, you will scream you will cry but you will crack it eventually.

You've already got most of the battle done... your sheer determination is a huge must towards breastfeeding...

Do keep posting...99% of the time people give up breastfeeding because they don't have the support needed. And remember, that you will never EVER say...I wish I'd spent more time cleaning my house, but you will say I wish I had spent more time with my baby if you do. Housework is relative...

 

[Redshoes]

I just wanted to say that no matter what you eventually do/decide, it will be for the benefit of your daughter and so don't be hard on yourself for trying to do what you believe is best for her, you cannot do more than you are, you are a fantastic Mummy

 

[Daffodil]

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YYYAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm breastfeeding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meadow latched on last night and fed. She screamed at first quite a lot but I tried to keep offering her the breast. So I didn't give her a bottle....and she carried on feeding!!!!

She was at my breast last night (with just a few minutes breaks) from 8pm till 2am! So tiring but I'm ecstatic.

She was very very tired and seemed very hungry - probably because my milk isn't quite enough yet - so we syringe fed her a small amount of formula at about 3am.

This morning she woke and intially screamed and refused the breast again. But I persevered and she eventually latched and fed for half an hour before falling asleep. She then went on the other boob for another feed but only lasted 15 mins before falling asleep. She is asleep now but the plan is to offer her the breast all day and NO bottle. I will supplement with a syringe if absolutely needed.

.....she has just started crying....

wish me luck

Dawn
x