I have to say, from personal experience, I understand Jen's point...
I'm going to find my post and quote it again as I can't remember exactly what I said
nappy brain!
But with regard to the perserverence issue and that people give up too easily..
Miss Evie was OK for maybe, the first 2 weeks of BFing... She was gaining weight (I always said that personally, if she loses and doesn't gain as she should, then I'd go to formula). BF for me got a bit obsessive. It was a case of breastfeeding became more important to me than Evie screaming. She couldn't have given 2 hoots where the milk came from!
But her poor little belly was telling her she was hungry and needed food - and fast!
Then, I started to dread each feed. I'd cry in the night, literally SOB because of the pain and I'd just pick her up, put her on my boob and put her back again. No cuddles. I didn't even really WANT to cuddle her in fear that she'd smell my milk and want more food.
It got to the point where I was only enjoying her for a maximum of about an hour each day. I started to resent her and get angry with her for crying for food. It would take me about 10 minutes to mentally prepare myself to put her to my breast
I would leave her screaming and if she pulled off, I'd say "for F*CK'S sake Evie!!! OMG I'm NOT a dummy!!" and she'd just look up at me with her little eyes and I'd feel terrible, so then I'd cry for being horrible and it was just not good for either of us.
So yes, I am part of the "Happy Mummy - Happy Baby Brigade" as DebbieM put it!
But I'm proud to be!
Now, I KNOW that BFers who are still BFing and perservered also experienced this because I started a thread on it and got replies saying that they got through that stage of BFing. My fear was that we'd get passed that particular stage, but it might then lead to bonding issues etc and I wasn't willing to take that chance.
I hope my posts aren't misconstrued but I have to admit, when a lady is really desperately struggling and feels she can't BF anymore, I'd love to give her a big ol' hug and tell her that it's ok to switch to formula
if she'd prefer to... I'd never suggest it before going through all the other points ie growth spurt etc. But how many growth spurts can a kid have ay?!
Evie must've had about 5 "growth spurts" in the space of 5 weeks!
I understand most post their worries and concerns about BF to get supportive replies and to hear the words "you can do it" and that's why I don't reply mainly, but also through fear that my reply may be considered as not supportive and taking the "easy" way out (don't know how else to word that it
). I also feel that you can either be pro breast or neutral. I don't feel like anyone's able to be pro formula. I'm neither btw, I'm pro-"whatever's best for Mum" because let's face it, babies aren't neglected if their not breastfed.
I do think that the saying "breast is best" is taken too strongly sometimes. It
is best, undeniably! But not by
miles. It's the bigger picture like I said in my experience. I'm ashamed to say it, but the importance to breastfeed successfully definitely overtook the importance of forming a healthy & happy relationship from the off with my beautiful daughter.
With future babies, I definitely want to try and BF again, and I will definitely come to PF ladies for support because that's one thing you are FAB on, and that's support. I also really admire those who breastfeed through the tough times. Ones who can see the light at the end of the tunnel and persevere
I really, truly hope that came across ok. I am more than happy to explain any points I made that may have offended anyone. I sincerely hope no-one was offended by my post.
LOL!
