Why would you NOT breastfeed?

Sorry, have to split posts as am on my phone...
This was my first experience of the bottle and breast debate and so i therefor thought that breast feeders loved their children and bottle feeders were lazy, selfish chavs, of course this isn't the case, and i know that because of this forum. I will however, never forget being told by a lass as green bean's massag class that she didn't breast feed because her husband likes to suck on her nipples and he didn't want there to be milk there when he did it! Lol!
 
KJ said:
I replied to this thread earlier this morning and my reply has disappeared. Can any of the mods please tell me where it went, and why?
no idea? what time did you post?

monster munch, what a place to split a post :rotfl: the reason I wasn't going to breastfeed with Seren was because I had only ever seen bottle feeding babies, and breastfeeding was just not common where I live. It wasn't until I had a breastfeeding class and read more about it I decided to give it a go. I think bottle feeding is seen as a "norm" almost as opposed to breastfeeding. Seren will feed her doll with a bottle more then boob, and she has never seen Cally take a bottle so I can only guess she is getting it from nursery and watching other children play. She also likes to feed her doll beans - looks great on me doesn't it :rotfl:
 
beanie said:
KJ said:
I replied to this thread earlier this morning and my reply has disappeared. Can any of the mods please tell me where it went, and why?
no idea? what time did you post?

monster munch, what a place to split a post :rotfl: the reason I wasn't going to breastfeed with Seren was because I had only ever seen bottle feeding babies, and breastfeeding was just not common where I live. It wasn't until I had a breastfeeding class and read more about it I decided to give it a go. I think bottle feeding is seen as a "norm" almost as opposed to breastfeeding. Seren will feed her doll with a bottle more then boob, and she has never seen Cally take a bottle so I can only guess she is getting it from nursery and watching other children play. She also likes to feed her doll beans - looks great on me doesn't it :rotfl:

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: My eldest daughter (who's 5) has dolls and bottles. She never uses the bottles tho, if she says they want their milk she lifts up her top and puts the doll to her boob :D
 
:oops: i didn't do it on purpose! I just ran out of characters! It's a good job it didn't crash, can you imagine the replies i would have got if i hadn't posted the 2nd part!
 
monster_munch said:
:oops: i didn't do it on purpose! I just ran out of characters! It's a good job it didn't crash, can you imagine the replies i would have got if i hadn't posted the 2nd part!

it wouldn't have been pretty.....
 
monster_munch said:
:oops: i didn't do it on purpose! I just ran out of characters! It's a good job it didn't crash, can you imagine the replies i would have got if i hadn't posted the 2nd part!

Yeah i read it and was like....er and what? and i was thinking uh oh shes gonna get some hatemail for that one!
when i read the second one i was like...OHH i get it!!!
 
beanie said:
monster_munch said:
:oops: i didn't do it on purpose! I just ran out of characters! It's a good job it didn't crash, can you imagine the replies i would have got if i hadn't posted the 2nd part!

it wouldn't have been pretty.....
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
 
fran_23 said:
[quote="monster_munch":1vsnc91v]:oops: i didn't do it on purpose! I just ran out of characters! It's a good job it didn't crash, can you imagine the replies i would have got if i hadn't posted the 2nd part!

Yeah i read it and was like....er and what? and i was thinking uh oh shes gonna get some hatemail for that one!
when i read the second one i was like...OHH i get it!!![/quote:1vsnc91v]

Me too! I read it and thought 'well this is going to go down well!' :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
 
Just catching up on this thread and this. . . .
Some people quite clearly feel that giving breast milk is much more important to them than the other factors and battle through regardless, I have even seen threads about babies losing weight cos they arnt feeding etc but the mum keeps battling on with bf...I guess thats their decision and not for me to judge.

Might be the whole guilt factor here again but if i said anything like that about ff then i think all hell would break loose, i dont know if im reading your post wrong but it seems as though your insinuating that battling on with breastfeeding, maybe having to go through weight loss and get it back up again, persevere with latching on etc is a bad thing to do :think:

By putting i have EVEN, sorta seems as though you are judging, i personally applaud those who battle through initial weightloss of their Los to carry on breastfeeding and come out the other end of it with a happy baby !
I dnt think iv heard a story yet of anyone letting the health nor wellbeing of their child suffer in order to breastfeed, so im not really sure how the "Some people quite clearly feel that giving breast milk is much more important to them than the other factors" comes into it either, i dont wanna have a go or even really get involved, but it seems as though negativity towards ff's has been highlighted throughout the thread and i dont see why negativity towards bf should go otherwise :?
Pooing my pants as i send this, deleted it twice but what the hell its the way it seems to me if not anyone else . . . .
 
dannii87 said:
Debbie: Another thing, I just wanted to add that I think the reason some Mums give up after a week is because they are not well enough informed that all babies need in the first 24 hours is 5ml of colostrum.

I had NO idea but was sooooo scared that something was wrong with Miss Evie! I didn't know why she wouldn't feed? Was it me? Where was my milk? Why wasn't I leaking? If I had been allowed home within a few hours like most women who have normal births, Evie would have been on formula from that evening. I can almost guarantee it.

How was I to know!? I only knew because ONE midwife took the time to explain it to me. :roll:

:hug: x

I didn't know that. Would have helped me avoid the 8 hour non stop feeding marathon when it was my 2nd night in hospital :think: I always looked back and thought that was unecessary. i realise now that was comfort feeding...rather than feeding proper. :think: I know now for next time!

I have nothing to add to this thread really but it's been really interesting hearing it from everyone's point of view. I always had it in my mind I would BF, nothing else was an option. I don't know why, I can't remember when I made that decision, I guess it was something I always assumed I'd do. The only thing that kept me going with BF at one point was remembering hearing many of my friends say to me when I was pregnant that they regretted giving up BF and wish they'd asked for help. I didn't want to regret anything. Some of them did say it was the best thing they could do, but a small part of them still regrets it. I wish they didn't regret it but that's for them to work out, I just have to give them lots of :hug:
 
MagicMarkers said:
Just catching up on this thread and this. . . .
Some people quite clearly feel that giving breast milk is much more important to them than the other factors and battle through regardless, I have even seen threads about babies losing weight cos they arnt feeding etc but the mum keeps battling on with bf...I guess thats their decision and not for me to judge.

Might be the whole guilt factor here again but if i said anything like that about ff then i think all hell would break loose, i dont know if im reading your post wrong but it seems as though your insinuating that battling on with breastfeeding, maybe having to go through weight loss and get it back up again, persevere with latching on etc is a bad thing to do :think:

By putting i have EVEN, sorta seems as though you are judging, i personally applaud those who battle through initial weightloss of their Los to carry on breastfeeding and come out the other end of it with a happy baby !
I dnt think iv heard a story yet of anyone letting the health nor wellbeing of their child suffer in order to breastfeed, so im not really sure how the "Some people quite clearly feel that giving breast milk is much more important to them than the other factors" comes into it either, i dont wanna have a go or even really get involved, but it seems as though negativity towards ff's has been highlighted throughout the thread and i dont see why negativity towards bf should go otherwise :?
Pooing my pants as i send this, deleted it twice but what the hell its the way it seems to me if not anyone else . . . .

tbh you have COMPLETELY misread what i was putting. I was just talking about CHOICE. Its the choice of a mother how they feed a child and if they want to persevere with breast feeding then thats up to them, (and I wasnt talking about initial weightloss, i understand BF babies lose weight at first, James did but then started to gain again), as its up to ff's not to persevere if they dont want to. Im saying that we are all lucky in having choice and that as mothers we do place different personal emphasis on whats important for their child but thats fine too cos we are ALL DIFFERENT!! Thats my point!
TBH im getting a bit tired of all this now. I have done NOTHING but stick up for BF through out my posts and say I AM PRO BREAST FEEDING!!!!!!!!! BUT i also feel that FF's get a short shrift sometimes and some comments are a bit thoughtless and look down upon FFs WHETHER Its intentional OR NOT!!!! But all I keep getting is people picking up on the negative stuff I say and not taking any notice of anything else or construing what I say in the negative sense.
:wall: :wall: :wall:
When I said about giving breast milk being more important than other factors im talking about how hard it is to go out and have any sort of life, especially in the beginning. Again, the fact that some women choose to stay in and be a walking boob for x amount of weeks is AMAZING and i applaud that!!! All im saying is that that doesnt suit everyone and we are LUCKY to choose whether we do this or not because we have formula! Why is that negative???? All breast feeders say that initially its so hard cos your life is all about feeding - and it is i did it for 6 weeks. One of the reasons i stopped is that i desperately needed to get out and to socialise. I was becoming severely depressed and i couldnt get out because james fed CONSTANTLY and even if i could go out i didnt want to BF in public because my boobs are too ginormous and i was just too self concious. SO it was my decision that my quality of life was being affected too adversely and outweighed the benefits of BF> THATS ALL IM SAYING!!!!!!!!
If use of the word "EVEN" has led you to this conclusion Im very sorry about my use of the english language and i shall go and delete that one tiny word from the huge post cos clearly it has given the wrong impression

and when did i even mention about latching???? :think:
 
Right, I'll try to remember what I posted earlier!

I basically said...

I agreee wholeheartedly with DebbieM in her post of a few pages back.

Mum's who stick at breastfeeding have not necessarily had a better time of it than those who choose to switch to formula. It seems to be being implied that if you switch to formula, you've had a worse initial time with birth and breastfeeding than those that continue to breastfeed. And that those of us who did continue could not possibly understand what those who didn't went through. Well, the fact is that some of us can, and most probably had a similar experience.

I know what it's like to not sleep for 3-4 nights after giving birth. To have blood blisters on my nipples. To not even be able to sit myself up properly due to labour complications, to cry through every feed and dread the next time my LO wakes.

Belive it or not, those of us who continued to breastfeed did on the whole, have a hellish first few weeks and like Debbie said, we were certainly not "happy mummies" for a long time. We're just stubborn!

Again, I'm not slating formula, I just think that I would love to be able to be alongside some of those other mothers in the early days when they were considering giving up breastfeeding, to just say "keep going, just a little bit longer and it'll all be worth it".

K.xxx
 
Obviously my sense of doom when sending that was unfounded :doh:
Im sorry i really wish i hadnt said anything, i probably did read far too much into it :oops:
 
Belive it or not, those of us who continued to breastfeed did on the whole, have a hellish first few weeks and like Debbie said, we were certainly not "happy mummies" for a long time. We're just stubborn!

Again, I'm not slating formula, I just think that I would love to be able to be alongside some of those other mothers in the early days when they were considering giving up breastfeeding, to just say "keep going, just a little bit longer and it'll all be worth it".


I remember like you crying everytime l/o was latching on and counting to 3 to brace myself. In Midna's post about bf one of the things she put in there was perserverence.
You need to be bloody stubborn lol and if people had someone to give them guidance and support I think bf would become a little easier - even if its just on the emotional side.
 
MagicMarkers said:
Obviously my sense of doom when sending that was unfounded :doh:
Im sorry i really wish i hadnt said anything, i probably did read far too much into it :oops:


Why are you sorry for posting? Personally I don't think you have a reason to be sorry :hug: :hug:
 
I have to say, from personal experience, I understand Jen's point...

I'm going to find my post and quote it again as I can't remember exactly what I said :doh: nappy brain! :lol: But with regard to the perserverence issue and that people give up too easily..

Miss Evie was OK for maybe, the first 2 weeks of BFing... She was gaining weight (I always said that personally, if she loses and doesn't gain as she should, then I'd go to formula). BF for me got a bit obsessive. It was a case of breastfeeding became more important to me than Evie screaming. She couldn't have given 2 hoots where the milk came from! :( But her poor little belly was telling her she was hungry and needed food - and fast!

Then, I started to dread each feed. I'd cry in the night, literally SOB because of the pain and I'd just pick her up, put her on my boob and put her back again. No cuddles. I didn't even really WANT to cuddle her in fear that she'd smell my milk and want more food. :oops: It got to the point where I was only enjoying her for a maximum of about an hour each day. I started to resent her and get angry with her for crying for food. It would take me about 10 minutes to mentally prepare myself to put her to my breast :lol: I would leave her screaming and if she pulled off, I'd say "for F*CK'S sake Evie!!! OMG I'm NOT a dummy!!" and she'd just look up at me with her little eyes and I'd feel terrible, so then I'd cry for being horrible and it was just not good for either of us.

So yes, I am part of the "Happy Mummy - Happy Baby Brigade" as DebbieM put it! :lol: But I'm proud to be!

Now, I KNOW that BFers who are still BFing and perservered also experienced this because I started a thread on it and got replies saying that they got through that stage of BFing. My fear was that we'd get passed that particular stage, but it might then lead to bonding issues etc and I wasn't willing to take that chance. :talkhand:

I hope my posts aren't misconstrued but I have to admit, when a lady is really desperately struggling and feels she can't BF anymore, I'd love to give her a big ol' hug and tell her that it's ok to switch to formula if she'd prefer to... I'd never suggest it before going through all the other points ie growth spurt etc. But how many growth spurts can a kid have ay?! :rotfl: Evie must've had about 5 "growth spurts" in the space of 5 weeks! :lol:

I understand most post their worries and concerns about BF to get supportive replies and to hear the words "you can do it" and that's why I don't reply mainly, but also through fear that my reply may be considered as not supportive and taking the "easy" way out (don't know how else to word that it :think: :doh: ). I also feel that you can either be pro breast or neutral. I don't feel like anyone's able to be pro formula. I'm neither btw, I'm pro-"whatever's best for Mum" because let's face it, babies aren't neglected if their not breastfed.

I do think that the saying "breast is best" is taken too strongly sometimes. It is best, undeniably! But not by miles. It's the bigger picture like I said in my experience. I'm ashamed to say it, but the importance to breastfeed successfully definitely overtook the importance of forming a healthy & happy relationship from the off with my beautiful daughter.

With future babies, I definitely want to try and BF again, and I will definitely come to PF ladies for support because that's one thing you are FAB on, and that's support. I also really admire those who breastfeed through the tough times. Ones who can see the light at the end of the tunnel and persevere :hug:

I really, truly hope that came across ok. I am more than happy to explain any points I made that may have offended anyone. I sincerely hope no-one was offended by my post. :hug:
 
Kelsey, can I just say I think it's BRILLIANT that you are training to be a breastfeeding counsellor, I think you'll do a marvellous job and I wish I'd had more people like you around when I first gave birth to tell me things were or weren't normal.

I also think part of mine & Miss Evie's problem was that her tongue tie was diagnosed too late (3 weeks!) by that time, she'd decided her latch was fine and she wasn't going to try and learn to do it properly :doh: :shakehead: LOL!

xx
 
dannii87 said:
Kelsey, can I just say I think it's BRILLIANT that you are training to be a breastfeeding counsellor, I think you'll do a marvellous job and I wish I'd had more people like you around when I first gave birth to tell me things were or weren't normal.

I also think part of mine & Miss Evie's problem was that her tongue tie was diagnosed too late (3 weeks!) by that time, she'd decided her latch was fine and she wasn't going to try and learn to do it properly :doh: :shakehead: LOL!

xx

Firstly thank you.

Secondly I can empathise with the tongue tie, my l/o still has it coz they dont do the procedure around here. When she was on milk only she used to fall off the breast at every feed after around 20 secs or so, and boy it made it difficult. Since she's been eating solid food it has stretched somewhat and we do exercises daily for her to practice sticking her tongue out. In a bid to try and stretch it.
 
monster_munch said:
Completely random now, but i just wanted to share something with you all. When i was pregnant with my daughter i went to an anti natal class and the midwife running it went around the table and asked everyone how they intended to feed their babies. It was split almost 50-50 but the intended breast feeders were all the 'mature, marrieds' and the bottle feeders were the chavs. I distinctly remember one lass, who always had a fag outside first, saying she was looking forward to getting p*ssed after the birth..
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
 
monster_munch said:
Sorry, have to split posts as am on my phone...
This was my first experience of the bottle and breast debate and so i therefor thought that breast feeders loved their children and bottle feeders were lazy, selfish chavs, of course this isn't the case, and i know that because of this forum. I will however, never forget being told by a lass as green bean's massag class that she didn't breast feed because her husband likes to suck on her nipples and he didn't want there to be milk there when he did it! Lol!

YUK :puke: :puke: :puke:
 

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