why did you not BF or stop BF early?

[Becky&Willow]

Hi firstly dont beat yourself up about it it really annoys me when people say thing like that as not every woman can breast feed, i know there is quite a few people on here that breastfed for ages or are still doing so and i think that is amazing but i know how you feel as i was planning to breastfeed but i had an emergency c section and it was just to painful i didnt even manage 1 feed so Willow was bottle fed from the very start i sometimes felt as though what i was doing was wrong and that i should be breastfeed but when i look back on i now im happy and proud hat i bottle fed,for 2 reasons one being that i knew excatly how much formula Willow was getting and 2 it ment my Oh could bond with her also.

Willow is now 17 months and doing perfectally fine in every aspect and i dont regret my decision one little bit.

 

[Babylicious]

2 1/2 weeks, stopped due to low blood sugars and getting admitted to hospital!

 

[clarey]

You will feel guilty no matter what you do hun, I am learning that so fast, its the first rule of motherhood i reckon!
If you breastfeed for 1 day or 1 year you have done something great for your baby, there is so much pressure to feed for this many weeks/months etc and then at the other end of the scale you get people criticizing when you are 'still' breastfeeding an older baby, so you cant win!
Dont feel bad though hun, you have done brilliantly and your LO will be happy as long as you are,

 

[sparky]

I only breastfed for 1 week and then expressed up until a few days ago and now LO is nearly 8 weeks and completely formula fed. I couldnt breastfeed because i found it soooo painful and couldnt carry on and just wondered if anyone else couldnt breastfeed for whatever reason?
I feel like everyone else out there is breastfeeding for months like they are supposed to and i feel like a quitter and like im the only one who couldnt manage it. The nurse/midwife woman i saw at the doctors the other day practically told me women should be able to breastfeed for 6months-1 year and so basically made me feel like crap and that i shouldnt of 'given up'.
Is anyone elses baby still very young and only formula fed?

I know exactly how you feel
My son was born 4 weeks premature so had no sucking reflex. I pumped my breast for the first few days and feed him with a pipette. He developed low blood sugar and jaundice so I was encouraged to bottle feed him but also to continue to try to breast feed. After a week I took him home and kept trying.

At about 10 days old he was blue lighted back into hospital with breathing difficulties. He was placed in a oxygen box, put on a drip and diagnosed with bronchilitis. It was such an awful worrying time that I did not pump my breast for nearly a week.

By the time we got home my milk supply had dropped to almost nothing. I went to numerous breast feeding clinics. I took fenugreek. I brought an electric pump and I expressed my breasts 8 times a day as recommended but still there was little improvement. I just couldn't get him to feed by myself.

I felt like I had failed him completely and still feel guilt now. It got to the point where I dreaded him being hungry. I finally gave up mid April and my son was born on 3rd Jan. The only consultation I have is that he did have colostrum and I did managed to feed him quite a few times, but nothing to the levels that I had planned.

Sounds like my story

Isla was born 4 weeks early and had no strong sucking reflex combined with the fact she fell asleep within seconds on the boob...hand expressed colosutrum for the first couple of days and fed it to her with a siringe. Day 3 when my milk came in she still wouldnt suckle...her latch was quite good as we'd spent 2 days solid with her on the boob, but she couldnt get enough nipple into her wee mouth to get the reflex going.

So i expressed for her, she was on 2 hourly feeds and in order to keep the supply up i had to express 6 times a day, try her on the boob for 15-20mins before giving her a bottle which could take half an hour a time as she was sooooooooo sleepy. Kept it up for 2.5 weeks by which time i was exhuasted, without the baby suckling on a boob its very difficult to keep up a good supply and all i was getting in the end was fore-milk so she was quenching her thirst but very little else...and getting regular green poo. So i then started expressing off the first 30mils off each tit before expressing a feed..this was the final straw, i was affectively chucking half the milk i was expressing, was shattered from the regime and not enjoying my daughter.

She still hadnt made it back up to her birth weight last thurs and had lost a wee bit so, she went on formula. After a couple of days of every type/colour poo under the sun and some puking she settled down nicely and will now take a bottle relatively easy. Shes sleeping more as she's feeling satisfied.

I too beat myself up over it, felt a failure and found it especially hard every time my boobies leaked and i couldnt feed her. Its taken a week for her to take a bottle sat on my lap but she will now.

Anyone who tries gets my respect, but you need the combination of boobies that work, babies that work and the support from partners/family/health professionals.

DH was shocked at the way that breastfeeding is promoted, theres soooo much pressure on women now, but little in the way of practical sustained support.

 

[Becs]

I expressed every 4 hours religiously for 6 weeks while Austin was in hospital after being born prematurely and until he had developed a sucking reflex enough to breast feed. The hospital were keen to get him bottle feeding because they generaly leave hospital sooner. But I was even more determined to breast feed given that I was bringing him home weighing just 4Ibs 6oz's. At 4 months his silent reflux had become a nightmare. He would only feed for 5 mins before screaming and pulling off the breast and refused any more. This went on for a week and he lost a lot of weight. Then when he didn't have a wet nappy for 6 hours we decided we needed to try to administer his gaviscon in a bottle with his feed as it clearly wasn't working giving it just before or after a feed. So I expressed and bottle fed for 2 weeks before my supply started dropping off. In the end I was expressing for an hour and a half for just one feed. It was grueling!! Needless to say Austin is now fully formula fed.

I don't feel guilty, I think I did everything I possibly could and when occassional smug mothers look at me as if I am filth I just think how lucky they must be to have a baby who feeds normally. My little one will still only takes tiny feeds but takes more in a bottle. His whole day I try to sneak more food in him and he is only just putting on enough weight with all the work I do. He won't be sleeping through the night anytime soon as just doesn't get enough during the day to leave him content for a long sleep.

that this little bean in my tummy doesn't suffer reflux, and is born near his/her due date

 

[sparky]

becs congrats on the bfp!

 

[Becs]

becs congrats on the bfp!

Thanks Sparky!!!

 

[lisa&alex]

i think that most women find it hard.. and to most women it doesnt come naturally at all..

we had problems from the start.. but i was determined.. ted lost weight in the 1st 3 days due to attachement.. we sorted that out and he was exclusivly bf'd till aobut 8 weeks.. then i started topping up with expressed milk or formula which effected my supply.. he stopped gaining weight...peads told me i HAD to give him formula.. so i did half and half.. and he slowly started refusing the breast.. and stopped comming to me at 5 months..

most mums feel guilty for stopping.. but thats natural.. breastfeeding gives off hormones which are addictive. the bond between you and your baby when feeding is amazing.. i feel a pang of jealousy every time i see someone feeding.. its such an amazing gift to give a baby... even if its jsut colostrum.. xx

 

[scaredbuthappy]

Thanks for everyones replies. Most people are very supportive and understand completely. My HV has been lovely and makes me feel like im not a failure but i guess its just with all the things you hear about breastfeeding and how so much better it is and that you should do it for at least 6 months and formula is 2nd best blah blah blah and i feel like the need to explain myself if someone questions it. The nurse at my doctors the other day did exactly this and then went on to say women should be able to breastfeed for 6 months to a year. I just felt like i needed to have a really really really good reason as to why i didnt carry on.

Anyway though i do feel much happier now. I did dread everytime i had to feed her, i tried nipple shields aswell which didnt help. She is so happy though at the moment and coo's and smiles at me and she is putting on weight all the time so i know she is getting enough milk from her bottle. I feel like things are more settled now. Its nice that other people can feed her too and she feeds every 3/4 hours and sleeps through until about 6:30am without waking up.

Thanks everyone it does really help knowing that other people are the same and that its not simple and straight forward for everyone like the books tell you.

 

[Squiglet]

I expressed every 4 hours religiously for 6 weeks

That just amazes me... Knowing how hard expressing is, I don't know if I would have had the sticking power

most mums feel guilty for stopping.. but thats natural.. breastfeeding gives off hormones which are addictive. the bond between you and your baby when feeding is amazing.. i feel a pang of jealousy every time i see someone feeding.. its such an amazing gift to give a baby... even if its jsut colostrum.. xx

Lisa's 100% right even just giving colostrum is an amazing gift....

 

[flowergirl]

breastfeeding should be a pleasant experience for baby adn mummy. If it isn;t then it is the right decision to stop. You have done brilliantly getting to 6 weeks it is a real milestone and will have given your LO a fantastic start.

Lots of people on here have had the experience of stopping because of low milk supply, my SIL stopped for the opposite reason, she produced way too much milk and even though she tried feeding often and expressing she still ended up getting mastitis really badly three times in 5 weeks. She was in constant agony and dreaded feeding her LO. She moved to formula and it was like she'd just been handed her newborn son- she started to bond from that point. HE was happy she was happy and they both started to thrive.

 

[Jollypops]

Because Calum was born 11 weeks prem i had to express from day 1 as this is what the SCBU asked for as it was the best for him, so this is what i did every day the same as Becs ever 3/4 hours, when i was in hospital with him a breastfeed when i could, as time was going on and i had to leave hospital and travel to see him everyday my milk supply deminised, then picked up again when i felt alittle more settled and then i couldnt keep with with the amount Calum wanted so went to the doctors and got prescribed Domperidon tablets (Anti Sickness) which also helps to increase breastmilk! this worked for me for about another2 weeks, then i was getting 10ml if i was lucky so gave up and he went straight to formula (so breastfeed for about 4.5 weeks). I dont have any regrets and give myself a pat on the back for doing what i could for him. I dont feel anyone should feel bad for a little or not breast feeding but i understand thats easier said then done.

 

[debecca]

I never breastfed as I'd had a breast reduction and was told I wouldn't be able to.

I have had HUGE guilt issues as my milk came in at 5 days or so and was squirting everywhere for weeks and then Connie developed digestive problems etc which I blamed on myself for not breastfeeding her.

But there are plenty of people on this forum (Manda, Tilly, me, DSL, Jade) who bottlefed right from the beginning or near enough.