Why would you NOT breastfeed?

[mrs_tommo22]

As far as breast feeding and formula go, my thoughts are that breast milk is superior to formula milk. It's been scientifically proven. That does NOT mean that I think BF'ing Mummies are superior to FF'ing Mummies. Far from it. I think the majority of people on this board are great Mums and I have the utmost respect for most members here too.

I think thats nice and i think if it had been said before Debbie you may not have been jumped on. You know what us defensive mothers are like - and i feel i get defensive over it as well.

I am calm now!

When i am pregnant with number 3 i am not even going to try - my body didnt produce enough milk the last 2 times so i aint going to bother this time - lazy, definitely not. Hear my reasons before you bf mums jump me!

I cannot put myself or my kids through it again. I cant physically sit there for hours trying to get it right when i have a autistic son to care for and a lively daughter - if i had got it in the bag with stephen i would be bf without a doubt. I would love for all my heart to breastfeed my future child - but it really isnt going to happen. I am happy though with my choice of formula as it has set my son and daughter in good stead.

 

[dannii87]

KJ, Asher was born on my birthday!

I'd have been a "Breast Buddy" too but I'm not much advertisement for it lol

x

 

[Bee]

Wouldn't it be great if we could allocate a breastfeeder to Tri3 ladies who are serious about breastfeeding like we have Text Buddies! xx

Thats a fab idea Dannii! I'd love to support someone else who wants to bfeed

 

[DebbieM]

As far as breast feeding and formula go, my thoughts are that breast milk is superior to formula milk. It's been scientifically proven. That does NOT mean that I think BF'ing Mummies are superior to FF'ing Mummies. Far from it. I think the majority of people on this board are great Mums and I have the utmost respect for most members here too.

I think thats nice and i think if it had been said before Debbie you may not have been jumped on. You know what us defensive mothers are like - and i feel i get defensive over it as well.

I didn't feel I needed to, to be honest.

 

[mrs_tommo22]

As far as breast feeding and formula go, my thoughts are that breast milk is superior to formula milk. It's been scientifically proven. That does NOT mean that I think BF'ing Mummies are superior to FF'ing Mummies. Far from it. I think the majority of people on this board are great Mums and I have the utmost respect for most members here too.

I think thats nice and i think if it had been said before Debbie you may not have been jumped on. You know what us defensive mothers are like - and i feel i get defensive over it as well.

I didn't feel I needed to, to be honest.

Ok I give up on this thread!

 

[Neev]

Wow what a healthy debate. It took me 3 days to read all the replies haha

I have been breastfeeding and it is coming up to 7 weeks. Loving it but have had to use the odd top up in the early days. Well done to all us BF mums and well done to all FF mums..

Actually - CONGRATULATIONS ON BEING A MUM...

 

[Llys]

Completely random now, but i just wanted to share something with you all. When i was pregnant with my daughter i went to an anti natal class and the midwife running it went around the table and asked everyone how they intended to feed their babies. It was split almost 50-50 but the intended breast feeders were all the 'mature, marrieds' and the bottle feeders were the chavs. I distinctly remember one lass, who always had a fag outside first, saying she was looking forward to getting p*ssed after the birth..

Must be the area you live in. That certainly wasn't the case in my area. My class was made up of probably 95% professional women and was probably split the same way.


I better go to a class "I'm a bottle feeder, ergo I am labelled a chav"


(whoops, I better hand back that masters degree and Law Society certificate then, after all, that wouldn't be fitting of the chav image would it!)

 

[purple13]

Completely random now, but i just wanted to share something with you all. When i was pregnant with my daughter i went to an anti natal class and the midwife running it went around the table and asked everyone how they intended to feed their babies. It was split almost 50-50 but the intended breast feeders were all the 'mature, marrieds' and the bottle feeders were the chavs. I distinctly remember one lass, who always had a fag outside first, saying she was looking forward to getting p*ssed after the birth..

Must be the area you live in. That certainly wasn't the case in my area. My class was made up of probably 95% professional women and was probably split the same way.


I better go to a class "I'm a bottle feeder, ergo I am labelled a chav"


(whoops, I better hand back that masters degree and Law Society certificate then, after all, that wouldn't be fitting of the chav image would it!)

um, i think you need to read the rest of the thread - mm split her post...!

 

[Llys]

Completely random now, but i just wanted to share something with you all. When i was pregnant with my daughter i went to an anti natal class and the midwife running it went around the table and asked everyone how they intended to feed their babies. It was split almost 50-50 but the intended breast feeders were all the 'mature, marrieds' and the bottle feeders were the chavs. I distinctly remember one lass, who always had a fag outside first, saying she was looking forward to getting p*ssed after the birth..

Must be the area you live in. That certainly wasn't the case in my area. My class was made up of probably 95% professional women and was probably split the same way.


I better go to a class "I'm a bottle feeder, ergo I am labelled a chav"


(whoops, I better hand back that masters degree and Law Society certificate then, after all, that wouldn't be fitting of the chav image would it!)

um, i think you need to read the rest of the thread - mm split her post...!

I couldn't see the rest of the post after that bit.... it all just went red


(edited: no need to incite more flames than necessary!)

 

[Bubalu]

What an interesting thread....I have been reading it but as I've had LO attached most of the time, haven't had hands free to type.

Here's my tuppence worth....

I breastfeed and supplement with formula so I have plenty of opinions given to me from both sides of the debate. Mostly folk are positive but I do get well-meaning but ill-informed advice too.

From the occasional exclusive breast feeder I'm told it's supply and demand - ditch the formula and my supply will catch up and of course feed feed feed. Well that's right up to a point but some people really just don't make enough milk - it's a fact but one that is seldom written about. I had my LO permanently attached, her latch and sucking was checked and found to be fine but she still got dehydrated, lost more than 10% weight and did not show any recovery of that weight in 2 weeks. Resulting in a distraught mum who'd had next to no sleep and a poorly baby. I now feel that I waited too long before giving supplement because I really thought that my milk would eventually catch up. There was really nothing wrong other than I just can't make enough milk - ditching formula would be a disaster for me.

Now I'm doing everything I can to keep my breastmilk flowing at the level that it is and even got some improvement by taking herbs and following other advice. But it's hard work and means that I don't get out much. Breast feeding in public would be very difficult as I have to keep swapping sides very regularly to keep her sucking. I'm just about content with the situation and while the only thing that I wish for is to see her content after a feed with no supplement...it happens occasionally and that's lovely. The reason that I keep going is not only the benefits of breast milk which are undisputed but also the lovely bond that exists in the breast feeding times (when she's getting milk it's so lovely to look watch her eyes looking up at me). Formula only mums have tried to persuade me to give formula only as my baby would get more sleep, I'd be freed up and I'd have piece of mind that she was getting enough. If I say I like breastfeeding and want to give her as much breast milk as possible they have taken it as an insult to their way of doing things...it's not, it's personal choice.

So....in my situation I cannot see formula as poison - it is a life saver. While I would love to exclusively breastfeed I can't and so I have to be grateful that there are companies that have invested in research to make it as close to breastmilk as possible...so I am also grateful that there are exclusive formula feeders out there too that make it financially worthwhile for these companies to invest in formula development.

I will not be made to feel inferior by anyone regarding my choices.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt, 'This Is My Story,' 1937

Well done to all the mummies out there who are doing the best they can for their LO's what ever their feeding choice

 

[choklatemunky]

Wouldn't it be great if we could allocate a breastfeeder to Tri3 ladies who are serious about breastfeeding like we have Text Buddies! xx

Ive been reading this thread with interest (as someone PG with their first baby and who wants to BF) and just wanted to say that Dannii's idea seems like such a good one - I think that many people have highlighted that the professionals (and sometimes families) aren't as supportive as they could be with new mums trying to BF and it does seem from what I've read as though more people might have BF for longer if they had been given vital basic info from the start from someone (such as when your milk comes in and the fact that, actually, despite what books tell you, BF can hurt, even when you're doing it right, but that in a lot of cases if you persevere that goes away). Admittedly this isnt true for everyone, some people just can't BF, or it just isnt right for them, but for those who feel they found out information too late, it seems this is where this 'guilt' thing is coming from, and it's those who think 'if only....' that seem to be feeling bad about what they have or haven't done. I don't think anyone should be feeling bad about things, if you've tried something and it just didn't work out, at least you tried.....if you made a choice based on what was best for you from the off, then you did the right thing....if you couldn't do what you wanted to do, it doens't IMO mean you failed, it just means that you had to adapt and that you are a strong person for having done so.

I think as a new mum there is a ton of things to worry about and if you aren't told certain info then it can cause extra unecesary worry - for example, I only know because of this forum that milk doesnt usually come in until a few days after birth (if its going to that is, as I know it doesn't happen for some people). No-one else has told me that, maybe if I hadn't been a member on here I would be spending the first few days of my LOs life stressing that they weren't getting anything......I think that whatever choice you make on feeding, the key is support, information and reassurance that you just don't always get from those who are meant to be caring for you (Midwives etc).

I think that a lot of people on this thread have said sensible things, in that, everyone is different, and what's right for one person isnt right for another, but it doesnt make anyone better than anyone else, just different - its a cliche, but lets be honest, if we were all the same the world would be a pretty boring place.

 

[Becky]

I think that a lot of people on this thread have said sensible things, in that, everyone is different, and what's right for one person isnt right for another, but it doesnt make anyone better than anyone else, just different

Exactly. It's easy to judge ourselves against someone else's achievements but while we're busy looking at how well another mummy is doing we often overlook our own achievements.

 

[Tangerinedream]

I wish this thread was in existance when I was pregnant/when Jake was newborn. I have learned so much from it. I do think I gave up too early. I have my excuses, some that dont seem so valid over a year on, some which today still make me think "no wonder". I will give it another go next time and use some of the things I have learned from this thread, I might not think what I am experiencing is so abnormal next time.

Can I just big up all mummies on here, BF or FF, for doing a wonderful job of bringing up our babies in safe, loving homes

 

[monster_munch]

Completely random now, but i just wanted to share something with you all. When i was pregnant with my daughter i went to an anti natal class and the midwife running it went around the table and asked everyone how they intended to feed their babies. It was split almost 50-50 but the intended breast feeders were all the 'mature, marrieds' and the bottle feeders were the chavs. I distinctly remember one lass, who always had a fag outside first, saying she was looking forward to getting p*ssed after the birth..

Must be the area you live in. That certainly wasn't the case in my area. My class was made up of probably 95% professional women and was probably split the same way.


I better go to a class "I'm a bottle feeder, ergo I am labelled a chav"


(whoops, I better hand back that masters degree and Law Society certificate then, after all, that wouldn't be fitting of the chav image would it!)

um, i think you need to read the rest of the thread - mm split her post...!

I couldn't see the rest of the post after that bit.... it all just went red


(edited: no need to incite more flames than necessary!)

This is my fault - I'm sorry, I honestly didn't split the post there on purpose. When posting from my husbands phone (which is 90% of the time,) I only have a set amount of characters and the 1st post was 1 short of that limit.

 

[Freya]

Just wanted to post my reply here. Although with a thread 23 pages long I doubt anyone will read it.
I tried bfeeding with both my children. I did not lose a drop of milk with either (but maybe I didn't perservere for long enough). With my first I was scared about becoming a mother anyway, wondering if I would be able to cope and know what to do. I think this led to me giving up BF quickly and starting to FF. I did know that formula milk was inferior and I used to be embarassed when I told people how I fed.
I think that in the beginning people feel that the way they feed is an indication to others of how good a mother they are and indeed the language used in regard to BF (eg being a successful BF, or failing at it) - makes some people feel bad and like a poor mother. This is how I often felt.
This debate a few years ago would have had me feeling angry, upset and p'd off. However, now I realise that feeding (as important as it is in the early years) is just one aspect of being a good mummy - and I am a blooming brilliant mum!!!!
Hats of to all. Just remember we all try to do our best and what suits one does not suit all!! TBH when I look back I can't understand why mums who are clearly in distress and pain would continue with BF - A bit like someone said they couldn't understand why someone would not have a go or give up. I think you can't judge anyone until you walk in their shoes and there are far bigger issues to worry about.
To me the way I fed my children was a bit like my exams. GCSE's were the be all and end all until I got my A'levels and by the time I got my degree - no one cared about my GCSE's anymore. And now I am working people just care about how I am doing in the job at the present moment.

 

[BabyMagic]

What a thread

I breastfeed because for LO and me it came very naturally. We had no probs (or I just can't remember?). I am also lazy as I found it so much easier without having to do the whole sterilising thing.

BUT aren't we so lucky that we can choose? And, that formula is such a good quality these days? I respect everyone's choice. My heart particularly go out to those who would like to breastfeed but can't for some reason.

 

[lea m]

OMG I wanted to go bed an hour ago lol! What a thread!!

In general I think this thread is a very good one! Yes people have gotten upset at times but generally people have been able to voice their opinions and such in a proper way!
One thing I want to say though is,
Im a feeder! Im not a BF or a FF Im just a feeder! My 3 children are happy, their healthy, they are all very smart (and will brag now the 2 eldest are on the gifted and talented register) they have grown well and that's all Im concerned about! I don't care how others feed their child as long as they feed them! If you BF then that is brilliant! If you FF then that is brilliant! If however you don't feed then well..... lol that's my point! Every mum has choices on how they bring up their own children and as long as the children get to where they should be (i.e healthy etc) then how they get there is irrelevant!
Be proud that you BF because its hard work! Don't feel ashamed if you FF because there is nothing to be ashamed off!

I don't know if everyone will take this the wrong way and I will come on tomorrow with a load of angry ladies replying but I hope not! I don't want anyone to be offended as there's no offence meant!

 

[SarahH]

i breast feed not just for the sake of connor's health, but for my own too. evidence shows a reduction in breast cancer for those who extended breast feed - the statistic is something like 40% fewer cases for women who have bf-ed past one year. my mum died from breast cancer and her mum had it 3 times; even without my family history, 1 in 3 women will get breast cancer (which is one of the few cancers that is incurable), and i like to know that i've done something to help reduce my risk.

I wish it helped with my Mum - she BF all 4 of us

I am well up for Dannii's idea of a breast feeding buddy as when I fall pregnant again I would like to try to BF again, hopefully this time straight off the boob rather than expressing it all!

 

[SarahH]

i breast feed not just for the sake of connor's health, but for my own too. evidence shows a reduction in breast cancer for those who extended breast feed - the statistic is something like 40% fewer cases for women who have bf-ed past one year. my mum died from breast cancer and her mum had it 3 times; even without my family history, 1 in 3 women will get breast cancer (which is one of the few cancers that is incurable), and i like to know that i've done something to help reduce my risk.

I wish it helped with my Mum - she BF all 4 of us

I am well up for Dannii's idea of a breast feeding buddy as when I fall pregnant again I would like to try to BF again, hopefully this time straight off the boob rather than expressing it all!