Why would you NOT breastfeed?

[fran_23]

I dont want to argue or judge anyone else i think most people have just answered the actual question the poster asked but as has already been stated the question doesnt really apply to 99.9% of the forum as most women have tried to BF first.
I just wanted to say one thing, even if there is a person who decided to bottle feed from the start and not try breastfeeding for whatever reason, who cares it doesnt affect us..its not your baby, so how does it affect your life and whats the point in commenting on it? doesnt change there mind and to be honest it wouldnt make one iota of difference to any of us if they did! its none of any of our business! To be honest i just do what i think is best for my child and expect others to do the same, if the choices are not the same who cares it isnt my child its theres and as long as they are happy cest la vie..i mind my business as long as they arent hanging them over a balcony or neglecting them!!
If someone asks for help fine help them but if they are happy bottle feeding or breastfeeing what the hell is it to do with any of us??

 

[Suzie and Faith]

My sister chose not to breast feed AT ALL. Not once with either of her 2 children. She just didn't like the idea - the thought made her squeamish.


and fran_23 nicely said. We don't have the right to judge anyone else's choices because everyone and every baby is different!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

p.s. i have found this whole thread quite interesting

 

[Jen & Her Men]

I dont want to argue or judge anyone else i think most people have just answered the actual question the poster asked but as has already been stated the question doesnt really apply to 99.9% of the forum as most women have tried to BF first.
I just wanted to say one thing, even if there is a person who decided to bottle feed from the start and not try breastfeeding for whatever reason, who cares it doesnt affect us..its not your baby, so how does it affect your life and whats the point in commenting on it? doesnt change there mind and to be honest it wouldnt make one iota of difference to any of us if they did! its none of any of our business! To be honest i just do what i think is best for my child and expect others to do the same, if the choices are not the same who cares it isnt my child its theres and as long as they are happy cest la vie..i mind my business as long as they arent hanging them over a balcony or neglecting them!!
If someone asks for help fine help them but if they are happy bottle feeding or breastfeeing what the hell is it to do with any of us??

Well then whats the point in discussing anything?? Why have threads on what people think of euthanesia or whatever it is we are discussing?
Its not to JUDGE people that others are asking the question - its because as fellow mummies we are INTERESTED - and hearing about the experiences of others helps us formulate our opinions on things and maybe make us a bit more open minded to try new things. Like I said, if i had had the experience i had of BF James I probably would go straight to bottle with Pumpkin, the only reason why Im going to BF again is because of this forum and the ladies on here have convinced me that to try again would be of greater benefit to baby even if i only manage a couple of weeks.

I didnt have access to that sort of info before and was very much shooting in the dark, so for me, (however outspoken i am about my opinion! lol) I will ALWAYS take on board other peoples views and if i think they make sense i will give em a go and see if they work for me. That to me is why this forum and discussions are so bloody ace and very helpful and why I think its good to hear from other people and why they made the decisions they made, cos who knows i may go "you know what i never thought of that" and it may help me be an even better mummy.

 

[fran_23]

I never said we shouldnt discuss it, thats fine most people have just discussed there own experience and that is fine it gives others a chance to read about different options open to them and has not led to arguing, but to say what someone else does is wrong and tell them they should try it this way or that is self righteous, its narrow minded and i'm just saying so what if someone wants to bottle feed from the off it is there baby they are bottlefeeding so it is up to them, why put them down for it and make them feel bad? and i wasnt talking about anyone in particular just generally.
If something doesnt affect us directly why get so het up about it? we all have our own choice it would be nice if no one was put down because someone else thinks its the wrong one.

 

[Jen & Her Men]

I never said we shouldnt discuss it, thats fine most people have just discussed there own experience and that is fine it gives others a chance to read about different options open to them and has not led to arguing, but to say what someone else does is wrong and tell them they should try it this way or that is self righteous, its narrow minded and i'm just saying so what if someone wants to bottle feed from the off it is there baby they are bottlefeeding so it is up to them, why put them down for it and make them feel bad? and i wasnt talking about anyone in particular just generally.
If something doesnt affect us directly why get so het up about it? we all have our own choice it would be nice if no one was put down because someone else thinks its the wrong one.

Sorry i misunderstood your point. I do agree with what you say about telling them how to try something is self righteous etc.

So I will shut up and go and have a much needed lie down...

 

[fran_23]

Lol nah i know what you meant though, its great that this forum is so diverse we can all get a good idea of how different ideas and techniques can work and try out what best for us/our babies, but lets not put each other down is what i was saying i guess..we are here to support each other!! aww lovey dovey stuff!!

 

[Jen & Her Men]

Yup I agree. Just cos a method doesnt work for you doesnt mean its the wrong one! Lets spread the lurve!! Lol

 

[keli]

Phew... that was hard going!

I sort of agree with the original post why would someone not BF if there was no difficulties etc but thats just my opinion i never had any doubt in my mind that i would BF and was that it would work for us luckily enough it did Don't get me wrong it was bloody hard work in the beginning and still is now. Cooper has always been a frequent feeder and still feeds every 2 hours day and night and can feed for upto 2hrs..great if i wanna watch a film ..and i still find it painful my nips still hurt on that first latch sometimes. But the way i see it is he's only small once and where else would i want my LO other than next to me. Again this is all my opinion and i don't look down on anyone else because they do it differently. I do think its wrong that sometimes us BF'ing mummies feel we aren't allowed to show how proud we are of ourselves and eachother for fear of hurting other mummies who FF look at whats happened with ABCD1234 leaving the forum. Sorry if i'm back peddling a bit but posting my take on it all. I think this forum is a great place for support whatever peoples choices are and i feel we should all be proud of the decisions we make becos as mummies we've all got the best interest of our LO's at heart xx

 

[nori]

LOL.. i think my idea of slightly "bitchy" replies is different to other peoples.. Maybe its me looking at this too sensitively then.. interesting

If im honest i cant say im used to forums like this... absolutely brilliant for advice but, as i said in another thread, i do tend to feel like im walking on egg shells at times (could well be my issue and noone elses so please dont attack me for saying it! )

I think i may stay out of this topic from now on.. you are right, its been interesting at times..

Happy feeding mummys! Only a few week and i'll be posting and crying out for advice about the booby feeding!!!

Claire x

 

[Jen & Her Men]

Phew... that was hard going!

I do think its wrong that sometimes us BF'ing mummies feel we aren't allowed to show how proud we are of ourselves and eachother for fear of hurting other mummies who FF look at whats happened with ABCD1234 leaving the forum. Sorry if i'm back peddling a bit but posting my take on it all. x

I dont think its very fair to bring up that example hun. Im not having a go at you but the lady in question is very very ill with PND and has been hospitalised for it so I think its a very extreme example and it makes everyone whether ff or bf feel sad because of her situation. If you read the whole thread where that was posted she also did apologise and said she knew it was probably her being ultra sensitive because of her PND so I think we need to keep it in context...

Loads of people (me included) have stated very clearly on lots of occasions that BF should feel proud of their achievements within this thread. ANd so you should.

 

[Tadpole]

This is a really interesting thread. And yes it has got a bit heated at times - but debates have a habit of doing that...makes 'em interesting! It shows passion.

Anyhoo, my take.

Right from the off I decided I wanted to bf. I read all the lit, checked out the latching vids and stocked up on lansinoh. It still was much harder than I ever anticipated and as I said in the bf support thread if it wasn't for ladies on this forum sharing their experiences I may well have given up. Luckily it began to get better just at that point of quitting. So I certainly think more support is needed from the medical profession - all I got was a leaflet saying it may sting a bit. (Sting a bit my ar*se )

My sister however decided she was going down the ff route. For her own reasons she didn't want to bf - mainly because she just didn't like the idea of it. (Whether people think that is right or wrong, it is her feelings on it for her - she fully supports my bf). In the end it was lucky she had made this decision as she had a fairly traumatic time and problems afterwards and so the cocktail of painkillers & antibiotics she has been on has meant she wouldn't have been able to bf anyway. And on top of everything else that went wrong it would have been just one more thing not going to plan. And while I think she could cope with the pain, headaches and not being able to move for a week, not being able to feed her baby as planned would have been much harder and may have lead her down the pnd route.

I have to say as well - one of the cons of bf is that my OH loses out on the feeding bond. I do express occasionally but tbh it is a bit of a faff. Whereas my BIL gets that time with his daughter.

And while the medical profession push breast - they all seem quite surprised that I am still bf at 2 months so I imagine that the majority of people still ff anyway.

 

[AnnaR2B]

Can i also point out, that lots of people got 'het up' initially, because the original post was worded a lot less sensitively than it is now!

Scout was big enough to realise she worded it in a slightly offensive way and apologised...

 

[Jen & Her Men]

Can i also point out, that lots of people got 'het up' initially, because the original post was worded a lot less sensitively than it is now!

Scout was big enough to realise she worded it in a slightly offensive way and apologised...

Oo yeah!! I never noticed that! No wonder we are all coming across as a bunch of Drama Queens!!!

 

[fran_23]

Can i also point out, that lots of people got 'het up' initially, because the original post was worded a lot less sensitively than it is now!

Scout was big enough to realise she worded it in a slightly offensive way and apologised...

Oo yeah!! I never noticed that! No wonder we are all coming across as a bunch of Drama Queens!!!

Yeah but i wasnt talking about that, i mean't why do people get annoyed in general on forums and make comments because someone else has made a different choice from them.. i didnt say why did people get annoyed at Scouts post!

 

[AnnaR2B]

No no not aiming that at you Fran ... just saying generally...

It has changed hasn't it... i thought i was going mad... i thought, why did i get so wound up over that? It definitely reads better now...

 

[fran_23]

Oh ok sorry.. yeah it definitely sounded much nastier before!

 

[Jen & Her Men]

I wasnt aiming my response at you either Fran. ANd yeah Anna your not going mad! lol unless we are both going mad together!!!

 

[AnnaR2B]

Hey lady you got the preggo hormones as your excuse...whats mine?
PS - congrats on baby being a boy...so happy for you

 

[keli]

Ive just re-read too. I'm sorry using ABCD1234 as an example and i know Bex is ill but my point is still the same as a BF mummy i do feel we who do BF sometimes have to play down how proud we are in fear of upsetting people. I don't want to upset anyone myself or cause anything i'm just saying how i feel xx ..i think this has all been resolved tho earlier on in this thread as i said in my post i was back peddling just wanted to put my take on it down.

 

[Jen & Her Men]

Hey lady you got the preggo hormones as your excuse...whats mine?
PS - congrats on baby being a boy...so happy for you

thanks hun

when are you trying again????? lol