***September 2018 Testing Thread***

[Vintageling]

It's a awful isn't it piglet to be fair I'm quite happy when AF comes because I have no sex drive at all so OH does leave me alone but I just don't want it but in fertile window all bets are off I'm awful.

You in chattychar

 

[pathy]

congratulations for all September mothers xxx

 

[Vintageling]

Fingers crossed we get plenty of continue the augest luck streak started by the lovely crumble

 

[baby.3]

Morning lovelies so according to ff I'm 2dpo. I could test the end on this month but will attempt to hold off til 3rd Sept. Purely because I usually have a long luteal phase.

Will attempt to not symptom spot, will likely fail at that

 

[cfjs]

Test date for me will be the 10th

until at least the 8th - if I can withhold that long... haha

 

[Maximus17]

for me 2nd of September please good luck to everyone

 

[Piglet30]

Aarghhhhh, I’m already getting impatient and it’s only CD3!

 

[SmithyBaby]

I know what you mean piglet! Feels like it's forever away but it will get here. We just gotta keep ourselves super busy!

 

[Maximus17]

Soooo annoyed as husband started drinking every night again. It’s only cd4 and I tried to have sex but he couldn’t perform I told him that this can’t happen as I get closer to ovulation but he was like oh maybe ... I know he wants this but just can’t help with the drinks. I feel so lonely in this and already stressed out and feels like it’s never going to happen because of his drinking so sad

 

[Maximus17]

And also I think all this vodka must be killing his sperm. I wish he had the same drive as me and it would happen than but he just won’t do it and the more I complain he drinks more as he thinks I am controlling him. I can’t win

 

[night owl]

And also I think all this vodka must be killing his sperm. I wish he had the same drive as me and it would happen than but he just won’t do it and the more I complain he drinks more as he thinks I am controlling him. I can’t win

Oh maximus I can understand you being stressed, it’s frustrating when they are not on the same page as us and not playing ball when they need to be, I wish I had some useful advice to give you, the only thing I can suggest, which I’m sure you have already done, is have a serious heart to heart with him, he’s got to think about his health anyway at the end of the day, have you both been the docs to have fertility checks done, I believe if you are over 35 and been trying more then 6 months nhs guidelines are to speak to gp, maybe that would give you an idea as to whether it’s affecting his sperm or not x

 

[Maximus17]

Thanks night owl. Doctors won’t do anything as we got pregnant once but miscarried so they said we have to be trying over a year again and we have one child it’s very unlikely they would do anything. I tried heart to heart so many times he says he will try but he is too weak. He hates when I tell him what to do. When we got pregnant he was on a detox for 3 months so it just shows that it could be down to his drinking. If I think about I get very stressed and than I try to talk to him and than he just does what he wants anyway. I have no idea how to convince him. I also think there is no way he needs to decide for himself. I am just getting used to do idea that we would never have another child

 

[Piglet30]

I feel frustrated for you too. He can drink more after you have conceived without it affecting you so much but if he doesn’t get a handle on it soonish then I suppose you are worried that there might not be an ‘after we have conceived’.
In the short term, and possibly not helpful, could you catch him in the mornings for some BD once the performance decreasing effects of the alcohol have worn off a little?

 

[baby.3]

Maximus, sorry your having these troubles with your husband. I'm not really sure that I have any useful info for you. But I can share your concern for him health wise. It's not the same situation but my mum also has an issue with drink she's been to meetings but doesn't see herself as having an issue as 'she only drinks every other day'.. But fails to see that necking 2 - 3 bottles of wine in a day/night is not normal and just as bad as drinking daily. She also hides the amount she's drinking from me, but my sister still lives at home and she tells me what's happening. I'm concerned hit have no idea how to help her.

I would suggest that maybe instead of asking the doc to test his sperm for motility maybe ask if he can have a full MOT. Maybe the doctor will be able to give your hubby info on the damage he could be doing to himself. Would that shock him into taking action do you think? It's not directly tackling the fertility issue, but would improve it and his overall health in the long run? Maybe as support you could ask for an MOT also? Then it won't seem like he's being singled out?

Best of luck to you, and sending lots of hugs xxx

Sent from my SM-G960F using Tapatalk

 

[Maximus17]

Thanks girls. I tried talking to him his morning and again ended up him getting frustrated with me and said it’s so annoyingly that I keep repeating the same thing. He said he wants me to back off and he knows what he is doing. It was a very thin line to go on to a very big argument so I said I will leave it and it’s because I love him. I really don’t think there is anything I can do other than let it go and just wait. In the meantime hope I can get pregnant. But I also worry about his health anyway thank you again and I am sure I will come here again to share my frustrations x

 

[Maximus17]

Oh and he said I am worryig for nothing and it’s not affecting his sperm. Now I need to convince him to have that test

 

[Maximus17]

One more thing he said he will only have one drink when we need to TTC at least that’s something

 

[IVW]

One more thing he said he will only have one drink when we need to TTC at least that’s something

Oh Maximus i totally feel your frustration, its like they make the whole ttc journey even harder with their defensive / negative attitude

Best thing to do, reverse psychology, worked a treat with my oh literally didnt talk anything pregnancy and just told him when we would need to do the deed so he was aware. Unfortunately my fertile window was in the mega heatwave so was even harder. The one day i knew we needed to go, he didnt want to, so i just played it cool, 'ok, thats fine, if you dont want to, i cant force you' - worked a treat, in he came 'ok, come on then'

Does he drink alot in the week? my oh thought his swimmers were no good due to his alcohol binging at weekends and other antics, but turns out, that didnt effect him at all.

FX that if you do the above approach, it might work

 

[night owl]

Oh and he said I am worryig for nothing and it’s not affecting his sperm. Now I need to convince him to have that test

It’s a difficult one isn’t it because if he’s anything like my fella the more you push something with him the more he becomes stubborn and does what he wants anyway, some people need to
come to realisations in their own time, I did see a home male fertility testing kit in Superdrug for about 30 quid, no idea if it’s actually any good or how it works I’m sure there will be some online reviews, I seen them when I was about to start ttc and looking for opks and mentally filed it away incase we had any difficulties, if it’s any good it could be worth having a look at it so you would know for sure if and how much alcohol is affecting his sperm xx

 

[Maximus17]

Exactly that night owl. He makes his own decisions about anything and won’t consult anyone. When he went on detox for 3 months he didn’t even have a sip. If I keep talking about it than it will never happen. This was the case when I wanted another baby and he didn’t. It took him 2 years to decide what he wants. There was no talking to him and it was the same as alcohol subject. It’s very hard for someone like me extrovert to let it go and not talk about it lol. He is very into his thoughts and he won’t share much. So only thing I can do is wait and see. If I don’t get pregnant in 3 months than I will start talking about the sperm test. It’s just that I have no time to wait being 40 but there is no other option. I need to thread it very carefully otherwise if I push him too hard he won’t even try for a baby as once he said if he feels like I am controlling his life he can’t live like this. Men ey arghhhh