PLEASE HELP: Does this sound likely?

[BevG]

it is a pretty definite that you wouldnt hear a heartbeat at 3 weeks, probably not even at 5 weeks. unless you have a good reason (multiple mc's, bleeding...) most places wont give you an early scan and at 3 weeks there would be nothing to see, too small to detect then so if she says she heard the hb or even doctor heard the hb at 3 weeks that is a definite lie.
thats all i can say for sure on the matter, tho i hope you get some kind of resolution. i wouldnt have got preg unless i wanted to , i was always really really careful about it and i wouldnt have done it without full agreement of my OH either, which is why ive waited til im 29. time and circumstances (relationship wise) never allowed, theres never an ideal time and never enough money but a stable relationship with a good guy was always my must have for starting a family

 

[titch]

did she actually say she'd heard a heart beat? Cos its a fact that the heart does start to beat very early on but its so tiny its not detectable. Perhaps shes just been googling about the development of a foetus and that fact stood out to her?

She mentioned that the doctor had told her. That's why I wondered as she saw the doctor before it was 3 weeks. Hence, you'd presume that the baby was older than 3 weeks.

could she have had a conversation with the doctor about abortion? Im just considering all possibilities and playing devils advocate really, Im not sure if Id buy this, but if she'd discussed abortion with the doctor she may have asked about the fetal development? For a lot of people knowing that the baby has a beating heart makes all the difference for thinking of it as 'a bunch of cells' vs an actual life. Does that make sense? That is the maximum stretch of the benefit of the doubt!

 

[R2D2]

You sound very sensible. I hope all goes well

 

[R2D2]

I don't really know. I doubt it's crossed her mind as an option. I know we are not really meant to talk about this here - so probably should move away from that point. What I will say though is that if only 3 weeks old, the doc probably wouldn't imply that as, like you say, it makes you view things very differently.

Thanks for your support

 

[FebMum2Be]

Sorry I've just read the first page, I got the morning after pill and didn't have to take it infront of the pharmacist, this was when I bought it, but another time when I was the the family planning clinic they did make me take it in front of them.

When I had my doc appointments they made me take a pregnancy test, every appointment until I was about 10 weeks..

All I can say is, try your best to support her in whatever decision she makes, don't try to persuade her to do anything, let her have time to think and try to look at things from her point of view. Don't feel ashamed, you went to get the MAP and it seems like it hasn't worked. It does happen, I hope you get some answers, there is always support on here and there is a Blokes Board bit too if you feel like you would like to talk to some other guys, where you can go for advice and a chat. Good luck

 

[x.Lilly.x]

i went andf got the morning after pill once in boots and had to take it infront of the person giving it to me or i couldnt have it.

Also I am 7 weeks pregnant and my last period was on the 22nd of june. if you take it from my period dates, yes i should be just over a week foward so I SHOULD be 8 and a bit weeks but i think i most of ovulated later as i had an early scan and am now only just over 7 weeks.

she could be anywhere from around 6 1/2 -8 1/2 weeks im guessing depending on when she ovulated in her cycle.

Good luck, but i dont think you should pressure her too muchinto what she should do as your as fault as much as she is and its her body at the end of the day.
Not trying to sound hard you just have to see it from her point of view as well.

Good luck with everything x

 

[xcitedmum2bex]

a havent had time look at every1s replies but sorry if a sound bad a dont know much abiout conception dates stuff like this but if she wanting to keep it it is her choice wether u support her or not but thing a dont understnad is u were willing to step in to bed with her few times but now comes this outcome of it and ur willing wo walk away correct regardless circumstances shouldnt have that been thought about before yous had sex a clearly cant get me head around that part

 

[R2D2]

i went andf got the morning after pill once in boots and had to take it infront of the person giving it to me or i couldnt have it.

Also I am 7 weeks pregnant and my last period was on the 22nd of june. if you take it from my period dates, yes i should be just over a week foward so I SHOULD be 8 and a bit weeks but i think i most of ovulated later as i had an early scan and am now only just over 7 weeks.

she could be anywhere from around 6 1/2 -8 1/2 weeks im guessing depending on when she ovulated in her cycle.

Good luck, but i dont think you should pressure her too muchinto what she should do as your as fault as much as she is and its her body at the end of the day.
Not trying to sound hard you just have to see it from her point of view as well.

Good luck with everything x

But she can't be 61/2 to 8 weeks and it be mine - We were only together 4 weeks ago. It would be impossible?

 

[R2D2]

a havent had time look at every1s replies but sorry if a sound bad a dont know much abiout conception dates stuff like this but if she wanting to keep it it is her choice wether u support her or not but thing a dont understnad is u were willing to step in to bed with her few times but now comes this outcome of it and ur willing wo walk away correct regardless circumstances shouldnt have that been thought about before yous had sex a clearly cant get me head around that part

You're, of course, correct. I wasn't really asking about that so much - more whether it seemed likely it was mine.

We all do stupid things in the heat of the moment and I certainly will not allow myself to be in this situation EVER again. You never think it will happen to you and despite knowing that it seemed to be a bad choice at the time, it's easy to forgot the implications of actions sometimes. Irresponsible, I would agree.

 

[FebMum2Be]

You may have slept with her 4 weeks ago, and if the baby was conceived then, they count the pregnancy from approx 2 weeks before then, it's strange lol have a read on google on how they work it out to help you understand it a bit better

 

[R2D2]

You may have slept with her 4 weeks ago, and if the baby was conceived then, they count the pregnancy from approx 2 weeks before then, it's strange lol have a read on google on how they work it out to help you understand it a bit better

Oh OK - this is all so confusing! Haha - how is a bloke ever meant to understand all these rules and caviat clauses.

SO technically, she could be 6 weeks - still a two and a half week deficit to 8 weeks which she was apparently on Wednesday

 

[redsugar]

hi there just read your post, the minute i saw the dates you slept with her and the date she found out i thought it was too early for her to know. so no i dont think your being selfish, i think she is by lying to you.It's completely unfair for someone to manipulate and guilt trip you into keeping a child that is not yours, also it would be wrong for you to stay with a girl that you dont want to be with baby or not.do you remember the date that you first started sleeping together and if she was permiscuous(cant spell that word sorry!). i would definately recommend dna testing to be sure,and if it is yours at least giving her money wont feel so bad!sorry if that sounded very harsh to her but it all sounds a bit dodgy!

 

[FebMum2Be]

The babys gestational age would be 4 weeks, but the pregnancy would be 6.. The only way you will know dates for sure is at a scan.. Sorry if I have missed it but does she have a date for a scan yet?

 

[R2D2]

hi there just read your post, the minute i saw the dates you slept with her and the date she found out i thought it was too early for her to know. so no i dont think your being selfish, i think she is by lying to you.It's completely unfair for someone to manipulate and guilt trip you into keeping a child that is not yours, also it would be wrong for you to stay with a girl that you dont want to be with baby or not.do you remember the date that you first started sleeping together and if she was permiscuous(cant spell that word sorry!). i would definately recommend dna testing to be sure,and if it is yours at least giving her money wont feel so bad!sorry if that sounded very harsh to her but it all sounds a bit dodgy!

That's what I don't understand. Just been reading up. I guess it could be possible but sounds so unlikely. It's the fact that less than 3 weeks later she was announcing it to a mutual friend. She apparently hadn't been with anyone else around that time, but who knows. She had a miscarriage at 17 (I found that out at the appointment - god, think she is too young now at 22!). Her plan had been to keep it. Anyone wanting a baby that early, effectively not an adult themselves, is obviously desperate to have a baby. I think that's followed her. I don't really blame her if that's what she wants so much. I can't say that I think the circumstances for her at the moment are right but she has obviously considered this. My thing is that I hope I am not being tricked into this. It's not what I want and if it is mine, and she ahead and gives birth to a baby, I will need to provide for it. It's not ideal but, like others have said, it's my doing that it's here. It just wasn't planned and I would never want this with someone I was not in a relationship with or intend to be.

I definitely would INSIST on a DNA test. That sounds harsh to think that some poor little baby has the dice of the gods being rolled to see if a man wants to be its father.

 

[R2D2]

The babys gestational age would be 4 weeks, but the pregnancy would be 6.. The only way you will know dates for sure is at a scan.. Sorry if I have missed it but does she have a date for a scan yet?

Hasn't had a scan yet. Haven't spoken since Friday and now I am dreading it. Know I must do it soon, though. Needed time away so I can not say anything without making an informed decision. Easy to regret saying or not saying at the time.

 

[FebMum2Be]

It sounds like you are a very sensible person, you are handling the whole situation so well

 

[titch]

i went andf got the morning after pill once in boots and had to take it infront of the person giving it to me or i couldnt have it.

Also I am 7 weeks pregnant and my last period was on the 22nd of june. if you take it from my period dates, yes i should be just over a week foward so I SHOULD be 8 and a bit weeks but i think i most of ovulated later as i had an early scan and am now only just over 7 weeks.

she could be anywhere from around 6 1/2 -8 1/2 weeks im guessing depending on when she ovulated in her cycle.

Good luck, but i dont think you should pressure her too muchinto what she should do as your as fault as much as she is and its her body at the end of the day.
Not trying to sound hard you just have to see it from her point of view as well.

Good luck with everything x

But she can't be 61/2 to 8 weeks and it be mine - We were only together 4 weeks ago. It would be impossible?

they just mean from her last period. Regardless of when you were together, if it was after 22nd june then it would be recorded as 8 weeks. I know thats really confusing but they will measure the fetus and adjust the dates at the 12 weeks scan.

 

[titch]

hi there just read your post, the minute i saw the dates you slept with her and the date she found out i thought it was too early for her to know. so no i dont think your being selfish, i think she is by lying to you.It's completely unfair for someone to manipulate and guilt trip you into keeping a child that is not yours, also it would be wrong for you to stay with a girl that you dont want to be with baby or not.do you remember the date that you first started sleeping together and if she was permiscuous(cant spell that word sorry!). i would definately recommend dna testing to be sure,and if it is yours at least giving her money wont feel so bad!sorry if that sounded very harsh to her but it all sounds a bit dodgy!

but thats assuming she conceived bang on her ovulation dates, week 2 of her cycle.

From the date of her last period she wouldve been expecting her period very soon after they were together, possibly on that day. If she conceived at this stage of her cycle then she wouldve known within the week that her period was late and like most of us do when our period is late, is do a pregnancy test.

Its possible that he is the only man shes been with since her last period. If this was the case her 12 week scan would adjust the dates of her pregnancy as when the doctors consider her to be 12 weeks, she'll actually only be about 9-10 weeks. It is possible, and if this were the case it makes it more likely that the morning after pill wouldve failed as the egg wouldve already been released.

The truth will come out at the 12 week scan, if they dont adjust the dates at her scan then Id smell a rat, but until then, I think its only fair to assume she's innocent, imagine what she must be going through, finding out shes pregnant after a one night stand, considering having to move back to her family (which doesnt sound like somewhere she wants to be) and give up her career. Imagine being accused of lying on top of that, imagine being asked to have an abortion with the scars of a previous lost baby still raw. I think you have to assume innocence, as it IS possible to get these dates. If dates dont get adjusted at the 12 week scan then you can kick off and accuse her, but its not fair to do that before then.

 

[titch]

http://www.estronaut.com/a/morning_after_pill_what_is.htm this website reckons the success rate of the morning after pill is 75%

I imagine most people dont like those odds!!

 

[piglets]

Im sorry but you still keep saying you feel she tricked you...i really dont think thats fair. If she had put holes in a condom or something like that i wouldve said she tricked you as you would have thought you were being careful. You slept with her without contraception therefore no tricking involved. Why do you think she tricked you i just dont get that? So did you trick her in the hope she would get pregnant because you didnt put something on the end of it? No!! You got carried away and so did she. And i dont think someone who was willing to keep a baby at the age of 17 means she is desperate to have a baby!!! If she was desperate to get pregnant why did she sleep with you with contraception the first time? Why do you think she is trying to trap you anyway is she showing signs of being obsessed with you? Does she say she loves you? I just dont see why she would say a baby is yours if its someone elses unless she was in love with you and wanted it to be yours or you were actuallyu together. Please stop thinking these things you cant do anything about finding out if baby is yours just yet and you are just stressing yourself out. I certainly wouldnt let her know you think shes lying as thats really not fair on her. But please get this into your head- you were not tricked you and her BOTH did this and you now need to man up and take responsibility. Its not the babys fault this happened remember.