I am a mess

[rachaellouise]

Thankyou!

 

[nadine]

Technically.. yes you can.

Really? No. It will just mean they note that you are uncooperative, and un willing to engage. If they have that, plus what they percieve as legitimate concerns, they can take the case to a child protection case conference. And that makes things a whole lot more difficult.

hahah i no your only telling it how it is and from your dealings which is good advise, but u have terrified me let alone this poor girl who had the day from hell haha lol

i dont no to much iabout social from personal situation but i work in a family solicitors and we do deal with it day in day out and i dont think rach has to worrie to much into it due to the fact she is in a stable relationship with what sounds like a good family support network around her,

my only advise i can give is your not alone ..............EVERY woman who is pregnant weather it be your 1st 2nd or 578 baby worries like mad from the day she finds out to the day the baby is born, you just need to take each day as it come and realise alot of the feelings you are feeling are due to your little bubble playing with your hormones -

i hope you n bubs are fine as i no you will be and one work RELAX

also just remember the doctors you see can some times be arses as they deal with this thing day in day out and dont realise that a little people skills gose along way to worries first time mum, they just think they have to tell you the info and it some times come out cold and blunt, take it with pinch of nothing

mwah x big hugs

Hi Nadine thankyou so much for your message, I would be lying if I said that what Momma Kat said had not frighten the living poo out of me, I did have some more tears about it, but I understand it is from her experience I just hope that we do not have just a bad time with them.
But like you say I am in a good relationship and hubby has said he will make sure he is here when ever they are to give me the support I need.

I feel really let down by the OBGYN yesterday, she has really made me feel like there is no point getting excited about this baby because I probably wont even have it.

aw sweetie this is my second baby and some times you do come across people who are as suttle or as helpfull as a brick, my doctor is absolutally rubbish and makes me feel rubbish, when i went in the first time to tell him i was pregnant, (6 test later and 2 cb ) he made me do one of his tests and told me he thought i was testing a little to early to show a positive test hahhaahh i come out douting i was pregnant even tho id done loads of test pmsl,

if i can give you any advise take it with a pinch of nothing and take each day as it comes, you come across some really lovely people, some dippy people and some very unhelp full, just know your not alone hahah

 

[Merfairy]

Hi it seems some doctors are sympathetic and others are not? You should be able to get an early scan at a local hospital I would advise you ring around or check the net, though 4 weeks might be to soon for the bean to be seen even with an internal scan. I would give it another week or two before I looked for an early scan; if there is any sign of blood go to your GP or ring the NHS helpline, it is hard to know whether you will carry or not at 4 weeks. I MC between 6 and 7 weeks, I knew I was MC; your body will know. Listen to your own instinct and try not to let irrational fear beat you down, though it is hard to do and when you want a baby badly the last thing you want is to lose it!! I can understand your fear as I have the same one and there are a lot of women on here who have the same fear and who have MC more than a couple of times even. You are not alone; try to relax and let nature do its thing. People do MC, but a lot of people carry though; so just go with it would be the only advice I could offer. Take your folic acid; quit smoking (if you do), limit your drinking; eat healthy; avoid raw fish, home made mayo and uncooked meat etc and just try to let nature do the rest. I am sorry for your grief but remember your little bean feels what you do, so try and bare in mind the bean. Use this forum I have found it useful... I wish you all the best xx

 

[rachaellouise]

Thankyou Nadine and Merfairy I am just such a state I have even postponed the get together we were planning for tomorrow to tell our Family as I am just too upset and all my excitement has been replaced by stress and worry, I am meant to be seeing my sister in 10 mins and can not stop crying

 

[Momma`Kat]

That letter looks fab, Sorry if i scared you hun, but so many people tried to sugar coat social services to me, even though it is harsh, i wish someone had told me all that before it started. x

 

[nadine]

That letter looks fab, Sorry if i scared you hun, but so many people tried to sugar coat social services to me, even though it is harsh, i wish someone had told me all that before it started. x

very true momma kat

i do hope things sort them selfs out for you asap, x x x

 

[pinkymum]

That letter looks fab, Sorry if i scared you hun, but so many people tried to sugar coat social services to me, even though it is harsh, i wish someone had told me all that before it started. x

You scared me too lol. I actually called my midwife cos I started getting really worried again. I honestly wasn't trying to sugar coat things. I was my best friends birthing partner, she also has mental health problems and we both grew up in an abusive religious cult. The social worker was excellent, and she did help her with support. I guess every situation is different
X


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[pinkymum]

Letter reads well hun, you'll have to let us know what the response is.
X


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[rachaellouise]

I have just been on the phone bawling to a doctor
I can not get passed the negatives and it is upsetting me so much!!
I am also upsetting hubby with how upset I am too which is only upsetting me more, he does not seem happy now and when I asked why he said 'the joy has kind of been sucked out due to how you are feeling'
What am I going to do? I am convinced will loose this baby and I can not get past it!

 

[tinytoes]

I think you letter is great hun x Im sorry I have no useful advice

 

[Applecider]

Rach chick u need to get past this and go maybe for for CBT (congitive behvaiour therapy) try and be as positive as you can with him, why are u looking at the negative so much? Get to the core of this worry,
1.have u MC before?
2. Have u a family history?
3. Have u tried to sought help?
4. Have people around u MC?
5. Is your mum/guardian a worrier?

please try n see how lucky u are right now hun, you deserve happiness enjoy it xxx

 

[rachaellouise]

I know how lucky i am i just wish i knew how to get the joy back.

1. No i have not mc before but this is my 1st pregnancy and i have been told the risk is higher with ur first.
2. I dont think there is any family history if it, but thst doesnt mean it wont start with me.
3. I called and spoke to the out of hours doctor and have an appointment gor next week to talk to my doctor
4. Yes i know peole who have mc'd
5. I dont think my mum is half as much of a worrier as i am

 

[Applecider]

My mum is a worrier so I know where my worries have stemmed from, also im a muppet and dont do things properly so Im always doing things wrong!!

Glad u spoke to the docs, whats ur next step then?? Ohh off topic a bit but dya think its a boy or a girl xxx

 

[rachaellouise]

I am going to talk to my gp and explain my concerns then get the early scan booked in.
I am do windy so probably a boy!

 

[Applecider]

awwwwh have u booked ur reassurance scan? what is that by the way?x

 

[rachaellouise]

You can pay for an early scan, they have different times when they can see different things we want to see if there is a heart beat so you have to be 6 weeks (4 technically) gone to be able to see the heart beat.
Ours is booked for the 29th December! I there is a heart beat! The sonographer said that once you see the heart beat the chance of misscarriage goes down almost daily!

 

[Lexusno1]

With reference to your dates, there isn't a 'technical' date. I would ignore the 'from conception date' and if you've had a positive test result then you would have been around 4 weeks from then.