As always, Piglets, it is a fair comment that you make. I understand what you are saying and accept responsibility for the fact that I was in on the act at the time.
The thing that grates on my mind is the fact that when she told me, she kept referring to 'we' and 'us' and how one particualar person at work would be 'thrilled for us'. It was as if we are a strong family unit, with a history and strong relationship to fall back on. Perhaps also something that bugged me since this started is the fact that I had to take her to the pharmacy as she was going to simply just go home. Of course, maybe it was her intention to go but I would normally have thought that most women would be the ones insisting on going, rather than then men. Maybe I am naive and making generalisations here; however, knowing that it the women who carries the child, I would have thought she would have been up at the crack of sparrows, insisting to get to the chemist rather than it being the other way around.
The way I see it is that on here I can speak anything on my mind, even suspiscions. I purposefully haven't spoken to her for a few days as I didn't want to say anything I would regret. I was very calm when she told me. I went to the nurse the next day, and that's when I began to feel that I couldn't get my head around some of the facts. For that reason, I haven't spoken to her as I don't think it would be helpful to start making accusations and let my emotional response lead, instead of allowing a thoughtful and mature reaction to prevail.
As you will have seen from a previous posting, I know that I need to take responsibiltly; partly the reason I am here. I feel that I need to be informed and, so far, it has been a real education. I have learnt a lot about pregnancy that I never knew. I am trying to do the right thing but I know that whatever decisions are made by everyone in this whole thing, there will always be elements of doubt, guilt and regret. That's probably the tragedy of such situations. I completely agree, too, that it is not the baby's fault. That's the real sadness: a little baby whole life is being mapped out and big decisions made before it even enters the world. It is causing stress and conflict, yet that's not its fault. I feel guilty about that fact.
Thanks for your post.
