OH is a weed smoker... advice please.

[AugustMum]

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[Constantstar]

In my opinion who cares if she is Wake or asleep that's your child and your choosing your vices over her. Who cares if oh hasn't smoked it. It's on you, your clothes, your breath and u want to bring your child into a house hold like that? Sorry but I don't agree. As I say it's my opinion and you can hVe yours too. X

 

[AugustMum]

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[FebMum2Be]

OP I'm so glad that your OH is willing to give up I'm sure you can't wait for the 12 week scan x

Can I also point out that if you are co-sleeping that it's not advised if a parent has been taking drugs or alcohol. Also I agree that it does affect the childs life "sorry baby daddy can't hold you because he stinks of weed" "sorry baby daddy can't play he's been smoking weed" "sorry baby I can't give you a hug/kiss - I've been smoking weed"! Even if you keep a baby away from the smoke and fumes of it, yes the child will still be affected. After a smoke (out the back) I come in, wash my hands, take my jacket off and use mouthwash and or chew chewing gum, when you get used to the smell of weed, it's hard to detect, you need to be very, very careful.

This is really off topic, but I remember holding this brand new, pink, delicate bundle in my arms at the hospital, I wouldn't even use spray deodorant because I thought it would be too strong for LO, I used roll on and no perfume for months, and the smokers in my family were warned if they had been smoking they wouldn't be holding him. It's a natural instinct to want to protect your kids, wether it be from strong smells or harmful fumes. I personally wouldn't get into a car with someone who had been smoking, nor would I leave my child in their care. Many moons ago I smoked it, and it's not "nothing" there is a difference, you are slower, have less concentration and can be very easily distracted. It's also common for people to be sick/feel sick after using it.

Apologies about the size of that lol I respect everyones opinions, but I feel like I have to point out that this isn't just a lifestyle choice, it's something that is proven to be harmful and addictive.

C used to smoke, and he kicked it when I was pregnant, if you want to PM me you can anytime hun x

 

[kirstymichelle]

I just stewed over this in the bath and a thought popped into my mind, have any of you ever had aglass of wine and still taken care of your children, or your OH had a pint and still taken care of your LO's? it is the same difference you are still under the influence of a drug that may affect your capabilities and no rubbish about alcohol not affecting judgements or reaction times very in depth studies have concluded this, but we all asume this is ok as its LEGAL

 

[cosmicgirl]

I just stewed over this in the bath and a thought popped into my mind, have any of you ever had aglass of wine and still taken care of your children, or your OH had a pint and still taken care of your LO's? it is the same difference you are still under the influence of a drug that may affect your capabilities and no rubbish about alcohol not affecting judgements or reaction times very in depth studies have concluded this, but we all asume this is ok as its LEGAL

Erm, no. I dont drink anyway unless I'm at an event of some kind and in that case my mum has my children over night and my oh is T total anyway - always has been. So no.

 

[cosmicgirl]

and I know your breathe stinks of booze when youve had a drink but to my knowledge poisonouse fumes and toxins are not exhaled or stuck in the fibres of your clothes after a drink.
I personally dont think its a which is worse competition between drugs and drink - you shouldnt have either if you're looking after a child.

 

[DaisyPurple]

Kirstymichelle
Why are you stewing over this still? And in answer to your question, I can't answer for anyone but myself, but I personally gave up smoking new years eve 1990, I still had the occasional drink at birthdays, weddings, Christmas etc... The minute I found out i was expecting my son I made a decision that I wouldn't have alcohol in my life and I'm proud to say that I never have and never will have a drink whilst I am in charge of my child, he is 9 years old now, my husband who was a smoker for years gave up smoking of his own free will before our son turned 6 months old, because he realised he didn't want our child to know his father as a smoker, before he gave up he always smoked outside like your oh, and never in the house, but he still realised that it was not really something he should be doing, and not a lifestyle he wanted to bring our child up with. I'm only answering this so you know as you asked, x

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[Piglet10]

first of all i can honestly say if my oh has a drink i dont and vica versa! and same goes for weed, i would never take it full stop, i dont need it to relax and have a good time, if my child were to get sick in the night i wud like to be fully competent to be able to bring her to hospital!

also i went on an all inclusive holiday last year, lots of family and i stayed sober practically the whole holiday, the only time i drank was when there was someone else staying sober!

im outraged by the comments bout speeding etc, because no i dont speed, i dont take drugs, and i dont drink when i should be watching my child, and no i am not a perfect parent or anything

i dont even know how to argue this topic because im in shock people are even coming out with some of the ridiculous comments people are saying, and in my opinion , when you have a child their needs and best interestes come first until they are 18+ and if that doesnt suit certain people they shouldnt have children!!

also, when my child is my age id like to be able to say i done this that or the other when i was young and naive, but id like to be able to advise her, at the end of the day children lead by example and i would not want my child thinking weed or speeding or drinking alcohol while being the carer of a child is acceptable so im sorry that i try and do my best and follow the law.... so shoot me

xx

 

[cosmicgirl]

Say what you want about speeding, alcohol etc trying to justify the use of weed but at the end of the day - DRUGS AROUND CHILDREN IS WRONG!!!! End of!

 

[cosmicgirl]

I cannot believe that you actually have an argument FOR the use of drugs around children

 

[DaisyPurple]

I believe that children are our future, they need nurturing, protecting and loving, until you are prepared to put them.above and beyond everything else then the time.is not right for you to have them... Society today is full of people.who were neglected as children.in one way or another and look how fucked up the.world is, thank god for the decent people who are trying to make things better than.the generation before them, I admire the families who have been brought up with solid values and respect for eachother there sent too many of them out there but when I meet them it gives me hope for the future

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[FebMum2Be]

Can I just point out, alcohol is a controlled substance, it's measured in units and tests have been carried out to work out how much is a safe amount. People are allowed units and still be allowed to drive. Weed has no measures, and you aren't allowed to drive after smoking it full stop.

 

[shootingstar22]

Drink and drugs are never a good thing, an they usually go hand in hand.

I am not pro weed as it is illegal at the moment. Even if it was legal i still wouldnt want anyone smoking it around my child, much like i dont let anyone smoke tobacco round her.

 

[FebMum2Be]

Can I add onto the above, you aren't even allowed to have weed in your possession never mind drive under the influence of it

I would love to see you be so relaxed about it if your perfect daughter came into your perfect home with a joint in her hand, just sayin'

 

[Froslass]

Can I add onto the above, you aren't even allowed to have weed in your possession never mind drive under the influence of it

I would love to see you be so relaxed about it if your perfect daughter came into your perfect home with a joint in her hand, just sayin'

WSS^^^^.

 

[Hayley1608]

I believe that children are our future, they need nurturing, protecting and loving, until you are prepared to put them.above and beyond everything else then the time.is not right for you to have them... Society today is full of people.who were neglected as children.in one way or another and look how fucked up the.world is, thank god for the decent people who are trying to make things better than.the generation before them, I admire the families who have been brought up with solid values and respect for eachother there sent too many of them out there but when I meet them it gives me hope for the future

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I completley agree! I also think that it is rediculous to try to justify the use of weed by saying that it is a way of your oh relaxing... surely if you make the decision to create a life you should do everything that you can to make sure that the child has the safest and healthiest environment possible to be born in to and to grow up in. If he wants to relax why doesnt he have a relaxing hobbie that is legal and not dangerous?!

If in however many years time my child came up to me and stated that taking weed was their way of relaxing i would be horrified and no matter what any of you say who dont seem to think weed is an issue... if the thought of you child taking illegal drugs does not horrify you then you should probably reconsider your morals.

I know that every body has a difference of opinion... this is just mine.

 

[Froslass]

It's illegal for a reason..

Alcohol can be taken in moderation, not necessarily to get drunk or feel relaxed....(although in saying that, I wouldn't drink at all) weed can't.

I don't know why anyone would think taking weed around a child is an acceptable thing to do?!

OP, I'd maybe see if your OH manages to quit after the 12 weeks scan, if not, maybe seek professional help for quitting? Maybe meeting others in a similar situation would be helpful xxx

 

[cosmicgirl]

Can I add onto the above, you aren't even allowed to have weed in your possession never mind drive under the influence of it

I would love to see you be so relaxed about it if your perfect daughter came into your perfect home with a joint in her hand, just sayin'

Agree x

 

[cosmicgirl]

I believe that children are our future, they need nurturing, protecting and loving, until you are prepared to put them.above and beyond everything else then the time.is not right for you to have them... Society today is full of people.who were neglected as children.in one way or another and look how fucked up the.world is, thank god for the decent people who are trying to make things better than.the generation before them, I admire the families who have been brought up with solid values and respect for eachother there sent too many of them out there but when I meet them it gives me hope for the future

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Couldn't agree more, I'm glad that this post has caused such outrage as it shows the majority of us would walk on broken glass to protect our precious children x