I've had a few problems with my OH sicne becoming pregnant, baby wasnt planned and we hadnt been together long, after running away from me and hiding his head in the sand for a month hes been back for just over a month, things had been going quite well and we'd talked a lot about the chanes he would need to ake to his life if he seriously wants to be a part of the babies life and a partner to me.
Anyway, wednesday we went to my midwife appointment and it was a prefect day, we chatted for ages and spent the entire day together, went to the gym and he took me out for dinner and cuddles after, he told me that he'd been thinking seriously and was going to cut down his drinking (its a bit worrying as he grasps any oportunity to drink atm) and start talking to me more instead of ignoring me for days. So anyway everything was great and i seriously thought he was going to try.
Thursday he went out for his mates B'day (i knew about this) and friday morning work rang me asking if i knew where he was as he'd not turned up wouldnt take calls and was going to be sacked if he didnt ring with a good explaination. SO it turns out he went out got so wrecked he got in a fight (again) has a black eye and bruising, and to make it worse he'd met up with some girl from work he knows i dont like the idea of him seeing (she had a HUGE thing for him). he makes me look so stupid, i dont care if he goes out and gets drunk, it the fact i have to deal with the fall out afer wards. All weekend at work everyones been asking if he has a problem and interfearing. He thinks this is normal 19yr old boy behaviour but i dont know anyone else who gets in fights everytime they go out, im not sure i want him around my child if hes going to be like this and he has a history of drugs as well, he promises me he hasnt touched coke since i've known him but i know hes been smoking weed again.
When i tried to talk to him about this yesterday he got really annoyed and wouldnt talk, saying he didnt care and why was i so bothered what he did (should be fucking obvious that i care cos i love him) then after about an hour of not talking he appologized, but its not good enough anymore. Hes hurting me and god knows what i should do.
I do beleive he loves me in his own way, he's just not used to showing emoitons, and when he tries to say he loves me he obviusly feels a little uncomfortable, he also got really upset last week as some bitch in work thought it would be fun to tell him im using him and intend ot leave him and bring up his child with someone else, i know he cried it upset him so much and some people saw him.
rant over for now lol,. though im sure he'll do more this week! Dont know what to do abotu him anymore
Clare x
Anyway, wednesday we went to my midwife appointment and it was a prefect day, we chatted for ages and spent the entire day together, went to the gym and he took me out for dinner and cuddles after, he told me that he'd been thinking seriously and was going to cut down his drinking (its a bit worrying as he grasps any oportunity to drink atm) and start talking to me more instead of ignoring me for days. So anyway everything was great and i seriously thought he was going to try.
Thursday he went out for his mates B'day (i knew about this) and friday morning work rang me asking if i knew where he was as he'd not turned up wouldnt take calls and was going to be sacked if he didnt ring with a good explaination. SO it turns out he went out got so wrecked he got in a fight (again) has a black eye and bruising, and to make it worse he'd met up with some girl from work he knows i dont like the idea of him seeing (she had a HUGE thing for him). he makes me look so stupid, i dont care if he goes out and gets drunk, it the fact i have to deal with the fall out afer wards. All weekend at work everyones been asking if he has a problem and interfearing. He thinks this is normal 19yr old boy behaviour but i dont know anyone else who gets in fights everytime they go out, im not sure i want him around my child if hes going to be like this and he has a history of drugs as well, he promises me he hasnt touched coke since i've known him but i know hes been smoking weed again.
When i tried to talk to him about this yesterday he got really annoyed and wouldnt talk, saying he didnt care and why was i so bothered what he did (should be fucking obvious that i care cos i love him) then after about an hour of not talking he appologized, but its not good enough anymore. Hes hurting me and god knows what i should do.
I do beleive he loves me in his own way, he's just not used to showing emoitons, and when he tries to say he loves me he obviusly feels a little uncomfortable, he also got really upset last week as some bitch in work thought it would be fun to tell him im using him and intend ot leave him and bring up his child with someone else, i know he cried it upset him so much and some people saw him.
rant over for now lol,. though im sure he'll do more this week! Dont know what to do abotu him anymore
Clare x
maybe it hasnt sunk in with him yet, or maybe he needs a good shove up the ass 
its so hard but at the moment it sounds like he would be better off not in your life doubley hard when you work with him tho he's in your face all the time. you need to be focusing all your attention on you and your growing bump not on your fella that really sounds like he needs to grow up!.. like fran says set him free if he comes back... xx
(maybe I am being unkind to peanuts here 
) If he wants to be part of your life and your child's, he needs to hold on to his job and put his obligations FIRST, non-negotiable, not maybe, not sometimes, not when it is convenient, a bd party is great, you go out have a drink with mates, go home, sleep, go to work the next day. No exceptions. I know this is hard and that he, as you say, thinks it is normal 19 yr old behaviour, but think of two things: One, he is going to be a Dad - which maybe isn't common 19 yr old behaviour, cant have it both ways and Two; if he gets this bad when he drinks now, what will he be like in five, ten years time. It is progressive, I promise you, I lived with this for fifteen years, and I CANNOT stress enough how important your decision is now. 
. Thing is hun, dont want you to find yourself three years down the road from now with a toddler hanging on to your knees and saying "no daddy, no daddy", trying to get away from him. It is something I will never forget, and although she has no concious memory of this, she hates the smell of alcohol on someones breath... 
