*** November 2014 Mum's ***

[nicejuicypear]

I would think Downs would have been picked up earlier too. If it's any consolation I know a couple of people who have eyes a bit like Downs people and they don't have it. So even if your husband thinks he's seeing that it doesn't mean anything.

We didn't put in a formal complaint but we did let the teacher know how stupid her comments were.

I've been trying to make fleece liners for Frankie's nappies. Fleece is a right pain to cut straight! It's got a stretch in it so it's easy to make it wonky. I don't have the patience for this. I'm going to end up making them rectangular rather than shaped.

 

[mellie_88]

Can't believe a teacher said that, was she old or young? I kind of assume its an older person for some reason. Better to have no male role model than a bad one!

I'd have thought downs would have been picked up earlier too. I reckon it'll be nothing.

You still trying the reusable nappies then, hows it going?

 

[Staceylou27]

That's true mellie better to not have a bad male role model. Us women can do all the things a man can do anyway!

I know I think it will be nothing, I was telling my parents tonight and they were saying there's nothing wrong with her and can't believe she said anything about her eyes.

The only way to find out will be a blood test so will see what the dr says. I'll also be asking the dr what the health visitor has asked her to look for.

 

[Kaa286]

Arrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhh wrote huge reply and it went off at last min Grrrrrr
Here's a short version....
Stacey that's a worry hope ur ok good luck for thurs hope all ok sure it will be. Bad of hv not discussing properly with u though!

Njp how's that award achieved? Interested as not heard of it before.

Apple don't worry I doubt she realised it would upset u she probs done it as been closer with other one longer and even though insensitive don't think it was personal. Imogen is beautiful!!

I love my groups and they're all on this week which I thought was strange to be honest.
I'm lucky though all the ladies are lovely

I don't want to go party at all now as just dawned on me I'll need to feed her whilst sat in a close group of his family and not up for that AT ALL!!!!!! So either feed then go and leave when she kicks off for next feed (after ten mins probably...yay ...ha!) Or just not go and feign illness of myself or baby :-/

 

[nicejuicypear]

Mellie she was young but quite religious in an old fashioned way. Stupidly, my FIL agreed with her - his grandfather! To which I replied 'well isn't that you then?' which shut him up, haha.

Not sure how the school stonewall award is achieved. It's on their website like the 'investors in people' type things. I've never seen a school have one before, be interested to know why they pursued it.

The reusable nappies are getting better! I've worked out how to wash them effectively and they're not leaking much now she's a bit bigger. Get the odd wet leg but none of the horrible poosplosions up the back that disposables have us. I've got all sorts of patterns, ladybird, bee stripes (with matching leg warmers), rainbows, owls, monkeys, giraffe print... I can't wait for the warmer weather so she can go trouser less and wear them to match outfits. I've spent about £80 and won't be buying much more now, hope they'll last until potty training.

Kaa, I don't blame you. I feed in front of my in laws but they're nearly all female & breastfed their kids so it's easy.

Is anyone breastfeeding out and about? I used the John Lewis breastfeeding room last week but that's as far as I've got, except families' houses.

 

[Applecrumble]

Im bf everwhere, exeter racecource grandstand, probably my most bizarre location...yesterday was a pub garden in dartmoor..the day before inside a pub, with oh relatives.. Im determined that if im bf, its not going to stop me going about my daily business...id like to think i am discreet...but its never 100% ...the thing that worries me most is my belly flab not so much bare nipple.

I highly recommend john lewis and m &s facilities.

I wrote a long reply yesterday evening before bed and lost it so this is an edited version.
Stacey...the strongest indicator that nothing is wrong with Ruby is that your gut says nothings wrong! I think mothers gut is so accurate mostly, i think you would know! Xxx so i feel confident ruby will be ok.

Thanks for being so lovely and supportive. I definately think i am going through a low patch at moment...i neverplanned really to bf and am a creature who likes routine, so phoned a few friends ( friends from uni for example, non nct, non baby world) who did or are bf there babies for advise..and all say they are not really in a routine and if you want to be in a true routine you almost have to stop socialising.vwhich not prepared to do...

 

[Goat]

Apple I totally agree with that. You have to be quite strict and stay indoors for the baby to pick up on the routine and at this age it just isn't that important. When they get a bit older I would say more structure is important else they turn info little overtired demons but that after weaning I think. Also that could just be my toddler!!

I've been breastfeeding anywhere I need too aswell soft play, park bench, wedding reception, restaurants etc. I've not actually taken advantage of facilities like John Lewis as I always forget they have them.

NJP that's interesting about that award. My sister is about to marry her girlfriend in July and I know they want to plan a family soon after so I'll pass that sort of info onto her.x

 

[mellie_88]

I've been breastfeeding pretty much amywhere and everywhere too, I have been from the start though. I even fed him walking round Asda about a month ago! Haha I tend to use the feeding rooms if there is any though, just because it's easier, quieter and I don't feel like I have to buy a drink.

I feel really fortunate in that none of mine or OHs family seem to be bothered by it. I've fed at pretty much every restaurant we've been to since Jake was born. Including the one we went to on Christmas day. Pretty much all of my family bf so its the norm, but in OHs family formula feeding seems to be. Although MIL bf for 6 weeks before giving up, dont blame her though my OH is a greedy one! Haha

One of the big appeals to me about reusable was the lovely patterns. In a way I wish I'd have done a bit of both, but all the washing was what put me off. I seem to be washing none stop as it is.

 

[Kaa286]

Oh believe me I bf everywhere too doesn't bother me at all but they were all formula ppl and at Xmas I had to go upstairs as nice little bro was home and mil n fil weren't keen for me doing it in case he walked in. I've never fed there since but saying that only been couple times. It's also awkward as me and mil had a fall out and now she not speaking to me so really any excuse not to go and spend an evening Sat on my own feeling awkward and having to try to find yet another party outfit that is suitable for feeding in!!

Haha good one njp bet he hadn't thought of that silly man!!
Going to look into that I'm intrigued.

Bf is unpredictable at any time they could require a drink or snack so it's not even them feeding every 2/3 hours is it. Don't think ppl get that when they continuously ask me "is she due a feed?" I mean how the hell do I know! Haha.

 

[nicejuicypear]

Apple it sounds like you're doing great, you are really getting out and about. I think the nct group might be what's dragging you down?

I've not really gone out enough to breastfeed out. When I do go out it's either to friends & family's houses or it's in short stints so no feeding needed. I find it physically awkward to feed which doesn't help. Frankie is heavy and is fussy when latching. My boobs are massive and need propping up and aren't at all obscured by her head! So need an armchair and a cushion otherwise it's tricky. She seems to need feeding less when out & about which helps. She'll go 4 hours if out and asleep in her pram, yet at home it's much more frequent.

Goat, if your sister needs advice on ttc, there's a good forum called Fertility Friends. It's for people who need help to conceive, for all sorts of reasons, whether it's medical or because they're single or gay. It has people going through every type of treatment and is quite active so always someone to ask about stuff. They have an lgbt section but it's quiet because they moved to fb but you can request access to the fb group if you wish.

Kaa, what happened with your mil? Don't have to say, I'm just being nosy & love a good mil story.

I'm so tired today, only had 4 hours sleep. Just deleted a big rant about my wife because it got too long (and there was no end in sight!) but I feel like I'm doing it all here. She's off work for 2 weeks and tbh, I'm looking forward to her going back. She is in my way and not helping out much. I honestly think she has completely forgotten what it is like having a baby because I expected a lot more support from someone who's already been through it.

 

[Applecrumble]

Thats such a shame that she is not supportive NjP...is there any little tasks you can ask her to do? Even though for me its completely uncalled for (oh is brilliantly supportive and pitches in) I still get irritated when he watches footie or anything non baby related.

i put it down to a bit of jealously that he is able to switch off...i find the only time i can literally switch off from baby is when i have a bath with the ipad on iplayer!

You have nailed it NJP...we went to the races at Exeter last weekend with NCT people and I said to partner that i always feel crapper when I have been with them, he says i am being paranoid and cant see anything. He thinks i should perserve with friendship and that things will settle down as month pass by. Its like everyone (strike that a couple) are wrestling for friendships..Going out with one of the NCT girls today (she is nice, not necessarly my next bff) but she doesnt make me feel crap about myself or make me feel judged about my parenting technique. (for the record , I think its half and half, half of me being paranoid and half something to do with these two girls)

The other thing is my apparance/diet i slob in my pjs allday...I would desperately like to loose weight...but I feel food is the only thing I can enjoy during the day... i have spent most of my morning thinking about a strawberry milkshake.

Whilst i am thinking, i have at least 2 cans if diet coke a day, had it all through pregnancy and no other caffine..do you girls think diet coke may be affecting the wind/fussyness of baby in the evening. Keep feeling guilty as well everytime i have diary, that its making me down. ...writing all this down i think i need to speak to a hv/or someone as im such a mess at the moment! Maybe thats whats making her so unsettled??

 

[Applecrumble]

nJP..i know what you mean as imogen is growing, i do find its getting harder to hold her and breastfeed. i am always looking for chairs with arms!

 

[nicejuicypear]

I just feel I shouldn't have to ask her to do things, she should just do stuff. She's changing the baby now though, so that's a bit better.

I feel a bit irrational anyway, she offered to take the baby out for a walk so I could have a sleep and I said no because I don't want to sleep during the day but really it's because I don't want her to take the baby out of the house without me! So I'm not really helping myself. I think the lack of sleep is making me unreasonable.

Try not to stress out about how you look, it's so easy to expect to look normal afterwards, especially with all the pictures of celebs with brilliant post-baby figures but it does take a while for normal people. I saw a picture of Rebecca Ferguson today, dressed up performing but with a post-baby belly, nice to see a woman in the public eye like that. She looks miles better than me but she looked miles better than me to start with! I can live with my mummy tummy for now, but I do hate my double chin, wish that would go away.

I eat loads of crap and my weight is stable because of breastfeeeding but I keep thinking, if I just ate normally it would all fall off! But I'm like you, I need my sweet treats. It's almost like a pregnancy craving though, I can eat a huge plate of healthy food and be technically full but not be satisfied until I find some chocolate or biscuits.

I was in Aldi the other day and they were selling bags of chocolate Christmas tree decorations off for 9p so I bought, er, 19 bags... For the stepkids, you see. So far, I have given them one bag each and stashed the rest under my bed for emergency rations, haha! Yesterday I wanted chocolate but didn't want to share so I went upstairs and surreptitiously shoved half a Bounty in my mouth and hid in the bathroom to chew! I really need to rein myself in a bit!

 

[mellie_88]

Apple,I look like a massive slob too. I get dressed most days but I always wear a baggy jumper because it's easy to feed in. And my belly is still horrible, so saggy and my stretch marks are awful. They have faded a little bit but they're so dark and horrible. Plus I barely get to wash my hair anymore (I have very thick hair and our shower is pathetic so only wash it if someone else is home to watch Jake) Oh and I think I've worn make up about twice since he was born, plus I now have to wear glasses all the time so that makes me feel ugly too. I don't tend to mind unless I see someone who knows what I used to look like pre baby, but oh well.

Sometimes Shane is good and helpful, other times he's just not. I don't think he realises how hard it is being home with a baby all the time. Plus he manages to sleep through it when he cries. If he's off or on lates and Jake cries at about 7am then I hit him and make him get up to settle him back. But don't think he realises how fortunate he is that I BF so don't expect him to get up in the middle of the night.

 

[Staceylou27]

I feel so lucky my oh is great he helps when he can. I get my time to go dancing twice a week and my oh baths Ruby and settles her to bed. He enjoys his weekend time with get and will take her out places for an hour or so without me. It easier for is though as I'm not breast feeding. I don't have to worry about where to feed or what I wear.

Apple I would suggest getting dressed and doing your hair it will make you feel so much better. I was wearing baggy clothes for a while and felt awful actually getting dressed made me feel much better.

Njp you have a problem-19 bags?!?!

 

[Applecrumble]

I agree i always feel better if i straigten my hair ...sadly because im bf none of my tops fit...weirdly i can back in my jeans but all my tops are size 10 and i am a 14 ontop at the moment, so cant see the point in buying new clothes...that with bf...its so my easier to wear lounge /pj tops at home...to be fair pre pregnancy i used to always wear pjs at home as soon as i got home from work, first thing i would do is change.

I had a much better day yesterday, we went and met a nice NCT friend, and Imogen was on good form i have also had two nights decent sleep..its amazing how sleep makes a difference.

We have changed our system at night now...where previously we tried to settle imogen from 7pm with the hope of having a couple of hours of time together with me and oh..which worked only a handful of times. Last night as soon as oh came home we, ate (pancakes for desert watched tv with imogen on the boob and then 9ish we took her upset and did our bedtime regime...leaving oh to settle her and me i went to bed. Worked much better.

I really into strawberry milkshakes at the moment...and completely hiding the amount of chocolate that i am having from oh...

 

[nicejuicypear]

I've got to sat, I'm showing restraint with actually eating the chocolate decorations, I just couldn't resist buying them at such a cheap price!

I feel a lot better today, I went to bed early and have managed to sleep for a 10 hour span, though that included 2 feedings, but still a much better sleep. Needed it as I'm doing a 200 mile drive with Frankie tomorrow.

I might have been a bit irrational yesterday, my wife was a lot more helpful, so she's back in the good books again!

Apple, I know what you mean about clothes. Most of my pre pregnancy clothes are tatty because I was making them last until maternity clothes, so r really I need some new stuff. Not even sure what fits. I'm still living in leggings and baggy jumpers but they are looking tatty too. I just don't fancy clothes shopping at my current size as it'll depress me. It's belly for me, boobs aren't much different to before, but my belly is showing the effects of my insatiable pregnancy sweet tooth!

Mellie, don't know if this would work for you, but I take Frankie into the bathroom while I shower. I either lay her on a towel on the floor out in her bouncy chair. She just watches me and I talk to her, or play some songs on my phone for her (she has her own play list on my Spotify! She has terrible taste in music!)

 

[Applecrumble]

Haha need to know Frankies playlist...

I wait till Imogen sleeps and drag crib into bathroom, while i have a bath.

Imogen hasnt had a nap this morning and is over tired....bless her she doesnt know what to do with herself...oh has the car so we have no pram or car to help...boob it is!

 

[nicejuicypear]

She likes high pitched cheesy pop with a beat. We've got Mmmbop, spice girls' Wannabe, bang bang by jessie j, livin la vida loca... That sort of stuff. When I put the music TV channels on, she waves her arms to stuff like that!

Can you rock her in a bouncy seat? We don't seem to have a problem getting her to sleep, quite the opposite!

 

[Applecrumble]

She got to sleep about 12:30 and still asleep, she usually has a nap around 90am. i have been able to put a flat pack ikea furniture together, have a bath nice lunch...and now watching call the midwifes...can not watch with out making me cry,..so grateful for Imogen.

Wow that is a mix of music! Imogen likes row row your boat...so much we have made up more verses...to keep it entertaining.