*** November 2014 Mum's ***

[mellie_88]

Jake seems to be showing teething signs too. He's a massive dribbler and keeps ending up with a dribble beard and he's always chewing his hand. He also likes chewing our finger or his sophie the giraffe, although it'll be a lot easier once he's learnt to pick things up himself.

Apple, we don't get an evening either. But its not majorly bad for us as my OH gets up for work at 5am so goes to bed early. I normally join him too. Jake tends to cry and cry on the evening, someone tried to tell me it was evening colic. But I'm 99% sure it's not, as he's terrible at sleeping in the day time so I think its just over tired ness. He does tend to cheer up instantly the moment we put him in the bath, he loves a good splash about

Other mum's definitely don't always tell you the bad bits. I think many like to think of parenting as a competition, and like to brag at what age their child achieved what milestones. Most of the people at my baby groups are ok, the one is full of older babies. So most of the mum's spend their time telling me that Jake is making them broody again! Haha

 

[Applecrumble]

Ok here is a senarero for you all.(god i cant spell, situation as an alternative word)

In our nct group there are three boys and two girls..imogen being one of them. We have a fb group set up for us! On saturday morning i woke up to see one of the mums had posted a valentines pic, of her boy and then a message next to it saying, "happy valentines Hannah' hannah is the other girl in our group. Whilst i pressed like next to the image i was really sad and made me cry. Obviously i can see its banter and except that people are going to be closer to other mums, its natural. But despite logic, i felt so left out and wrongly i know it made me question Imogens looks i think it was such a mean thing to do when there was two girls in the group, but then that could just be me. This whole nct thing, is like bding back at school. Whilst i dont feel its competetive i do feel like its very clique..but that could be my group. Everything you dont need when your the biggest and neglected you have ever been.

Yeah i quite often think its over tired, as the days she is funny in the evening is usually the days shes been over stimulated and not slept much and would co inside with a longer nights sleep. Not tonight though i have been up twice, but suspect oh didnt give her a dream feed at 11!:-/

 

[nicejuicypear]

Apple I do think stuff like that is thoughtless, if it was a bigger group with more girls and boys, not so bad, but to single one girl out of two isn't nice. She probably didn't mean anything to Imogen by it, she's just been insensitive but I can see how you'd feel put out. Some mums at the school gates can get like that too. We never mixed with the mums at my step kids' primary because apart from about 3 if them, they were terrible for one-upmanship. One used to have a different outfit on for morning, lunch and afternoon drop off/pick ups! Specially dressed too, not just like, uniform then casual, three proper outfits and she'd strut around throwing her hair about.

Of the 3 who weren't like that, two were nice and one had a child riddled with lice and wanted people to come live with her in a commune...

I am choosing Frankie's school on a) lack of wankery parents and b) the school's response to the question 'how often do you insist on stupid costumes and how much notice do you give of needing them?' haha!

Going back to the colic thing (saw your post in your thread too), she sounds very like Frankie, very whimpery and farty. Frankie's bum could be used as a space rocket sometimes, she does ones that sound like adult ones! I stopped eating sprouts because she screamed for ages after a sprouty feed before turning into a bum trumpet. She's getting better at burping but needs a mid feed burp. At night I feed her to sleep and try to sleep burp her but nothing happens. Then 10 mins after putting her back in her cot she'll start thrashing her little arms around and I sit her up, she'll do a massive burp, and go back to sleep again. I don't know if that's colic, is colic just wind? My wife says she's just like me because I can clear a room in seconds, ahem!

Kaa, could you pop along to the 30th for a bit and leave early & leave nige to it? Or just use the baby as the excuse, say she's in a crucial place with evening routines and you don't want to keep her out late & risk disrupting it. Though if the in laws would criticise you for it, saying you're I'll might be easier.

Ugh I need to go back to sleep, have that horrible pre-cold headachey sore throat thing, hope it doesn't develop.

 

[Applecrumble]

I guess the whole valentines post issue is just the start of things to come...just need to toughen up and protect imogen from it..

Imogen does adult size farts, they are soo loud, interestingly she also seems to get farts in the morning... May try and be super health this week myself and see if that makes a difference. No soda or diary! ...half hoping it is colic, as thats meant to stop at three months, shes 12 weeks today...so i only have eight days till she is non colic-ie and in a perfect routine right?

 

[nicejuicypear]

Yeah I think those age guidelines are exact and the day she turns 3 months the colic switch will automatically turn off!

Have you noticed any links to foods? I didn't, it was the wife who pointed out the sprouts link to me, I'm quite unobservant like that.

Don't think I'm getting any more sleep, she's spent so long flapping her arms about, has only just burped and settled now. I'm wide awake but with that horrible tiredness eye-headache. She slept 11-6.30 and I slept one hour less than that, but it's not enough for me. I can't seem to nap in the daytime any more. I loved naps when I was pregnant!

Oh, she's started flapping again!

 

[mellie_88]

Jakes still asleep, I don't know whats going on. I put him down about 5 and then he's normally really unsettled from about 6 but today he's slept right through.

Apple, that's really selfish about the valentines. Was going to say the same as NJP would be different if it was a big group with lots of babies. Don't ever question her looks, she's beautiful. I actually think all our November babies are, which is strange as sometimes I see very unfortunate looking babies in the street (i know i shouldn't say that.)

NJP the moms at your step childs school dont sound that good, thats one thing I'm dreading about school. Was hoping we'd have moved by the time Jake has to go qlas they're all rough round here. But now hopefully we should have. Hopefully he'll be able to go to my old school (a church school) the parents are less rough there, and its not overly religious so a nice balance.

Someone told me its an old wives tale that certain foods makes some babies windy. I honestly think they can though. i hate stuffing and Jake was a right farter after that!

 

[Staceylou27]

Ruby's only just got up too. She had a good night but I couldn't sleep-typical!

Certain foods make us windy so it will be the same for babies.

I wouldn't say it was colic from my experience, we had 3/4/5 hours of constant crying and lots of winding techniques before a burp and sometimes we wouldn't even get one Ruby would just eventually fall asleep probably worn herself out. The colic usually gets better around 12 weeks it's when there able to self wind. We stopped the infacol almost 2 weeks ago and havnt had a problem with wind since stopping it. Ruby would spit out the infacol when we have her it so we took her cue and stopped it.

That's insensitive with the valentines she could have sent them both the message for what it's worth. Your baby will always be the most beautiful to you so don't ever question their looks!

Not really sure what happened to the wall sticker we tried to put in bathroom, a friend suggested we should have heated it up so the glue sticks better and we didn't do that so maybe that's why.

That's the thing with schools. There's a lovely one a short car ride awAy but I think we will be just outside of the catchment area, we might get in if there was less people applying that year. There is a school right around the corner that I went to, it's not a bad school but I wonder the type of kids that will go

 

[Goat]

Oh Apple that is so thoughtless of them as the others have said. One thing I've learnt from being a mum is that the job is tough enough without being made to feel inferior by other mums comments or actions. It'll happen so often about any decisions we make: bottle/breastfeeding, early/late weaning, leaving them overnight, sleep training etc etc The best thing to do is what's right did your family and if anyone has anything unconstructicve to say on it and in turn makes you feel like crap - cut them out of your life. You don't need that nonsense! I did NCT and didn't click with the mums, instead I met some lovely ladies at a baby massage group and am still close to them now.

NJP I'm dreading the schools for that reason too!!

Mellie, did you say Jake has his 12 week jabs recently? It could be that making him sleepy?

I honestly don't know when were going to get an evening to ourselves ever again! Lol. We spend it with bubs downstairs then I head up at 9 to put her in her cot then I pass out too!
Xx

 

[mellie_88]

He had his jabs on Thursday, he was sleepy on the day but he's been normal since. So I don't know how long it can take for them to affect them.

All my baby groups aren't on this week because of half term. Don't know what me and Jake are going to do with ourselves.

 

[nicejuicypear]

I seem to be having great difficulty getting out of bed today. I haven't managed to go back to sleep but having Frankie asleep on my chest making snuggly noises is just too nice and I can't seem to put her down to get up.

Goat I agree about other people's opinions. Sometimes it's just as easy to agree with them and then go off and do what you want. Other times I feel the need to argue back.

My stepdaughter caught my MIL trying to pull the dummy out of the baby's mouth the other day. She keeps telling me how awful little babies look with dummies - she used them on all her kids! I'm going to get one of those dummies with giant goofy teeth just to piss her off, haha.

I have provisionally picked out a school. It's within walking distance and has a Stonewall award. Stonewall is a gay rights organisation and I want her to go to a school that will be supportive if she experiences any bullying for having two mums. It looks like a nice school in other respects too.

 

[Staceylou27]

I've not heard of that award njp sounds a great thing tho and great there's a school like that near you.

I've just been to see the health visitor to talk About weaning and a general chat about my mood, she then said 'I don't know how to say this so I'm just going to say it, what do you think about Ruby's eyes?' She said she has seen her a few times now and she thinks they have changed. I'm not really sure what she was trying to suggest and I didn't ask. I kinda wish id have asked but I don't think they had changed. I agreed to a dr app tho so will see what dr says. I think the health visitor was thinking her eyes are big... But mine are quite big and blue same as Ruby's so I'll just have to wait and see what the dr says.

 

[Applecrumble]

Stacey...how bizarre...has anyone else mentioned..her eyes to you? Does her vision seem normal?

My first reaction if anyone said that too me would be to worry, goggle and cry on repeat...but my general experience with babies is that doctors , midwifes and hv , are always over cautious and in all the things that were pointed out to me as possible problems/concerns nothing came of it, so please try not to worry. Easier said than done so book a doc appointment asap to get reassaurnce and ask friends for there honest opinion. Im sure its nothing xxx

 

[Staceylou27]

Were going to drs Thursday afternoon, apparently it's the shape of her eyes that she was concerned about and not that they were big. I don't think she liked to say what she thought incase she was wrong.

My first thought was downs childrens eyes are very prominent.

I've spoken to my mil, SIL (she's got the same hv! And also thinks she's over cautious!) and my best friend and they all say the same as us that her eyes havnt changed.
My husband isn't happy we have to go to the drs again thotgh, first they are concerned about her weight and now her eyes.

I'm happy for her to be checked though then we will know for sure. I'm not worried but I know my husband will be on google and worrying himself!

If I could upload pics I would post one of her

 

[nicejuicypear]

I think it was pretty irresponsible of her to bring it up but not explain what her concerns were, thought hvs were meant to minimise worry not cause it. Hopefully the doctor will reassure you

 

[mellie_88]

Best to be safe than sorry, its probably nothing though. But better that the hv wants you to get it checked just in case.

I'd never heard of that award either. Good that they have it though. You'd think in this day and age kids wouldn't be so mean about gay parents as there's so many different types of families out there. Suppose it will just depend on what sort of children are in her class and what their parents tell them.

 

[Staceylou27]

That's what I said better to get it checked than ignore it. I will let you know what they say.

 

[Staceylou27]

Njp she said she couldn't put her finger on what it was, she couldn't explain why she thought she needed to see the dr just that she had seen a lot of babies and she felt something was different about Ruby.
All babies are different anyway so who's to say what she's supposed to look like

 

[nicejuicypear]

That's so vague for a health professional! She's meant to be medically trained! What are you meant to say to the doctor? I'm all for using instinct but she should at least say what she means.

Yeah the school thing shouldn't be a big deal hopefully. Having said that, it was only about 5 years ago when our son's teacher suggested that his poor behaviour in the classroom was due to having no positive male role model, without even asking what males he had in his life aside from his errant father.

 

[Staceylou27]

They shouldn't make comments like that! You should have put in a complaint.

The health visitor got us the appointment so I thought she would have told the dr what she suspected so the dr knows why we need up see her. She will probably send her a message/note as the dr has sent the health visitor a message before about having Ruby weighed.

My husbands thinking she means she looks like she's got downs and keeps saying how he can see it when he looks at her. I don't know if I'm just not wanting to see it? It hasn't been too ed before though and surely someone would have picked up on it or we would have noticed. Thursday can't come quick enough now

 

[Goat]

Oh Stacey that sounds stressful for you. If it's any reassurance when my eldest was born the midwife thought she had something wrong with her eyes, something about them not aligning properly with her ears, not sure what she meant. When the consultant came to see her (due to other health reasons) he quickly dismissed whatever it was the midwife thought was wrong. She's 2 now and looks perfectly healthy!
Good luck for Thursday, I'm sure she's being very cautious and its all ok.xx