May mummies and rainbows to be :)

[lisey]

Betty I would be furious!! With OH especially and brother too.
My OH hasn't come to all my scans as had quite a few early ones and I said to save his days off. He has been for the big ones though. The fact that he didn't ask how it went would be disappointing.
People's attitude to down syndrome is so dated, of course they have quality of life. Yes it would be harder, I have a child with a disability so I know how hard it can be but would I go back and change things? No!
I hope that your OH does some apologising xx

 

[BettyHoop]

He knows he's in the dog house- he asked if he needs to come home early from work to sort it out!! Xx

 

[snowbee]

Cute bump lisey!

Glad you finally got a scan Betty. I can't believe your oh forgot! I hope he can make it up to you.

 

[snowbee]

Some people are afraid of disabilities and just don't know how to cope or react so although it isn't ok to rant at you like that sometimes it is just from lack of understanding or fear. Downs is a tricky one as it has such a huge spectrum, some live very normal lives and can be independent, others don't and have serious health problems. I've known people from across the spectrum and while I could easily live with some, others I couldn't. My sister has special needs so I have first hand experience of how difficult things can be and the huge impact it has had on the whole family.

 

[kabuk1]

Betty, I'm glad your scan went well and that you've now got a dating scan booked within the time frame for the NT scan. I hope all goes well then.

As for the comments from your OH and brother, boy would I be furious. I swear they just don't think. Downs children are so lovely, have some of the biggest hearts I've known. People could learn a thing or two from them.

 

[lisey]

I agree snowbee, it the other issues that can come alongside it, ie the heart/health problems xx

 

[lisey]

Betty, I'm glad your scan went well and that you've now got a dating scan booked within the time frame for the NT scan. I hope all goes well then.

As for the comments from your OH and brother, boy would I be furious. I swear they just don't think. Downs children are so lovely, have some of the biggest hearts I've known. People could learn a thing or two from them.

I agree kabuk, I feel the same about autism, there is an honesty with people with autism that others could take on board and an innocence. My son would never do anything to hurt someone's feelings or be mean, I would much rather him the way he is than some horrible bully xx

 

[Eryinera]

I'd be angry too! Glad you got a date now though let me know if your due date needs updating on the front page x

 

[kabuk1]

On another note, we need an 'I'm currently feeling: Bloated' option. I think that would be my permanent status.

I've also asked some people about some must haves and I think I'm going to get a sleeping pod instead of a moses basket. I'm not overpaying for a sleepyhead, but looking at alternative brands. It's been recommended time and time again to me.

 

[Emily0505]

Glad you girls have had good news at scans and low risk results too

I think the decision to proceed with a pregnancy where you know your child will have extra needs is a very personal thing and everyone is entitled to their opinions on it. I don't believe either is right or wrong, it's down to each couple to decide what their family can and want to deal with.

Just as a little mention to share the knowledge and what not, I have heard that you should not refer to it as 'downs children' or 'downs person', it should be a child or person with downs as their condition does not define them

We picked up our crib today!! A friend of mine bought it brand new for her daughter (who is now six months) and she only used it for three months! It's in great condition!!! Eeek!!! Baby stuff is just the best!!

XX

 

[lisey]

Very true Emily, it is a personal thing. I wouldn't judge anybody for their decision. I do wish people would be more open minded to people with disabilities though, there is still so much stigma to it and the looks we get when my son is behaving a way that people don't perceive as 'normal' is frustrating. And agree completely about how you address and person with down syndrome. I never refer to my son as autistic, he has autism. There is far more to him than his disability. So I make sure I do the same for people with other disabilities. Even people at my work (in a school) will refer to a child as a 'downs boy/girl'. I don't like that.

Exciting about the crib, our moses basket arrived today I love baby stuff xx

 

[kabuk1]

I was not using the terminology to define the child. I've seen both used in research and various literature. Yes, the latter is less defining, and maybe we should all move that direction, but using other terminology doesn't mean the person see someone as his/her disability. This is the case with a lot schools because the terminology is used interchangeably in education and psychological literature.

Yes, everyone has a right to make their own decisions, but just as a decision should be respected, when approaching the subject with a partner, family member, friend, etc. they should remember that the person they are talking to may have a different view instead of talking in certainties. Every situation is different.

 

[Emily0505]

I think there is a growing awareness (although perhaps slow growing) of certain conditions, Autism being one of them. I've seen quite a few stores advertising autism friendly shopping days. I suppose with anything it takes time to change people's perceptions. I have the utmost respects for parents who have children with extra needs. It must be very tough and challenging at times.

I can't wait for hubby to get home from work so he can bring the crib in from the car!! Cam has already asked if he can have the crib in his bedroom and keeps referring to baby as his baby! Lol!

XX

 

[Emily0505]

Agreed Kabuk1, it's a subject that really needs approaching with sensitivity and care regardless of who you are talking to.

Hubby and I had a discussion about it all and thankfully we were on the same page, but it must just be the worst being unable to agree on such an important decision.

XX

 

[Eryinera]

Lol aww bless. We have "roof raisers" at work and the there is a national winner. Basically anyone that comes up with a good idea for John Lewis stores can be nominated. The national winner this year was a lady in our Cheadle store. Her idea was to have autism friendly shoe fitting area. It's gone down so well and it's had great feedback.

 

[Eryinera]

Aww bless was about cam''s baby lol this chat moved so fast I don't want that to sound odd and out if place lol

 

[Emily0505]

This thread does move fast! I can't keep up some days!

So, headaches!! The current bane of my life!! Have had one ever day last week and so far this week too!!!

XX

 

[Pebbles05]

lovely bump lisey glad everything went well at the scan Betty.

got home from work starving so lunch consisted of chilli con care, poppadoms with a jar of mango chutney and a buttons yogurt lol I can't be allowed to go to the shop unsupervised!

Glad you got your scan sorted Betty.

I'm with you Nikki, I shouldn't be let loose in the shop either.
For lunch today I had a pasta n sauce followed by a picnic of carrots, hummus, smoked salmon and cream cheese on crisp breads with grated cheese, and I'm feeling pretty full still.

 

[Emily0505]

We've got chilli for tea tonight!!

Yummmmm!!

XX

 

[lisey]

There definitely is more awareness and more efforts are being made but it's people in general. The comments I have had are unreal. I don't get how people think it's acceptable, I am very open about it and will just tell people, sometimes I wish they would just ask rather than staring or making comments.
It must be hard when making the decision, myself and OH didn't really have a discussion, I think it was more a wait and see then discuss thing. I don't think you can truly know how you would go until really faced with the prospect xx