May mummies and rainbows to be :)

[lisey]

Betty, I am so sorry, really not what you need right now. I found my sons Dad slept with other people when I was pregnant. I never forgave him as it was even more of a betrayal as I was carrying his baby. I didn't find out for sure until after he was born and we broke up as I just saw him in a different light.
Have you confronted him about it? I would be pretty suspicious if they have met up but I really hope nothing has happened between them xx

 

[Dovekie]

I'm really not having a great time. I found a load of naughty messages between my partner and a woman he met at work. Bit gutted is an understatement. Feels worse as it's happened whilst I'm pregnant. I don't know if he's actually done anything physical with her or not but I know they've met up. None of my neighbours are home and there's no one I can go and talk to right now. Not sure what to do. Xx

That's awful. It's truly disrespectful in any relationship, let alone when you're pregnant. It sounds like your intuition was right, when you said you weren't happy recently. I'm not sure what to say that could help, but you'll need to confront him about it asap, and go from there. Good luck xx

 

[nikkix86]

I've always been paranoid about my oh and his girl friend at work. he's changed his password now so I can't go through his phone. how f you know they have met up? we're the messages really bad? my youngest dad was messaging other girls when I was pregnant and I ended it I couldn't forgive him for it I really hope your ok

 

[BettyHoop]

I haven't confronted him yet. I'm trying to work out how I feel about it first. I trusted him, even after experiencing this before in previous relationships and now I know I never will again. When I first met him people said not to go there as he is a womaniser, he even agreed but asked for a chance. So yes my intuition was right and I was going through all that and he wasn't being entirely faithful.

It's a bit complicated, I'm not entirely sure how they met - as much as she is a woman from his work place they don't work together or for the same people. My oh said something about how he has been since the last time he saw her. And the rest of it was bad at points. More bad from her side - as far as I can tell she sent him naughty pics but it looks like he didn't send one back. They haven't spoken since Sunday. Xx

 

[lisey]

By bad, do you mean dirty/suggestive? Its not on, even if he is not responding as much as she is, he is allowing it to happen and continue. She may just work in the same building as him rather than it being for the same company. There are various companies that work from the same building at my OHs place, I think its the same in a lot of places. Have you noted her number down? I would, because I would be telling her what I think of her too, esp if she knows you're pregnant.

It is still possible to trust again, after my sons dad, I said all men were cheaters and it wasn't until I met my OH that believe otherwise, it might be because I knew him for two years before we got together and saw that he wasn't that type of person but it is possible to trust someone after going through that xx

 

[BettyHoop]

Yes, dirty/suggestive. I've re-read it all and it really is worse coming from her side. He tells her he has a non existent sex life due to me expecting in may and after a congratulations from her she sends him a half naked photo!! What kind of person does that?! I have pictures of their conversation and I'm going to name and shame her on Facebook. He's the fool for entertaining her messages but she goes beyond that. Xx

 

[nikkix86]

I'd be messaging her I can't hold back on something like that I think it's disgusting on both their parts that they could do that to someone who is pregnant. I'm waiting to see something pop up on my ohs phone. all I've seen in the past is her telling him what a great boyfriend he is and inviting him over to smoke weed with her but I'm pretty sure he's never been to her house id go mad if he did when we had a break tho I asked him to stop talking to her if we were going to make things work and he said no. I'd talk to him hun if you don't it's just going to eat away at you just get it all off your chest

 

[lisey]

She sounds horrible. The fact that he even mentioned your sex life is out of order and suggestive in itself. It's initiating a certain type of interaction. Some men really annoy me, it sounds like you work really hard and take care of everything in the house, plus you are growing his baby and he moans about sex xx

 

[Loubalouba]

She is well out of order Betty!! You get your revenge Hun, totally deserved I am afraid!! Esp when he texts saying it's because you are pregnant!! Is she young?

Leigh that is scary! Glad all ok and good you have a clear answer for the bleeding xx stressful though! Stressful day for you ladies!

Xx

 

[missyeovil]

Aw Betty you poor thing! I don't really have any advice, just sympathy! I would be so gutted if my DH did that. X

 

[Emily0505]

Big hugs Betty.

Such a tough situation to be in.



XX

 

[snowbee]

Betty what a nightmare, have you asked him about it? At least he hasn't sent pictures back, maybe he just doesn't want to tell her to f off.

Happy 16 weeks Leigh!

20 week scan done! Little one all ok which is a massive step forwards for me mentally, it may now sink in that this is happening.

I've had no internet since Thurs, currently borrowing from the holiday let I clean! Not sure when I'll be back online again but good luck to everyone having scans while I'm offline! At least I've managed to get the phone number to call about it now so next job is to go home and call them. I don't have mobile internet so once the landline is down I'm screwed.

I've seen the pram I was hankering after with 36% off. Only issue is it is in a colour I probably wouldn't have gone for (purple) and my oh doesn't like it. What to do...

 

[lisey]

Glad all was well at the scan snowbee. Personally, I wouldn't get the pram if OH didn't like the colour, regardless of the money off. Its something you will use for a couple of years so you want to love it xx

 

[Eryinera]

Glad all went well snowbee!
Leigh that sounds terrifing I'm glad they found an answer for it!
Betty oh my word I would be mortified. Me and hubby's sex life has diminished somewhat but I would never expect him to anything like that! She sounds like a total b!tch who would do that?

 

[Leighwiltshire]

Betty that's awful. Tell him straight you and the baby are priority now! You don't need the extra stress.

I think I might go buy a Doppler to put my mind at ease especially if the bleeding will be throughout. It's more spotting than a bleed but still terrifying. Dreading going to the toilet every time.

Our sex life isn't the same but I'm pregnant I'd go mad if I found out anything I'd be straight home to my mums. Xxxx

 

[BettyHoop]

Thanks for your support everyone. I've been awake since 4am thinking about everything and my options. I feel like I just want to leave as I promised myself if anything like this ever happened again I wouldn't keep making the same mistakes. I seem to be attracted to men that this happens with! There was an incident about a year ago too that I almost left over but forgave him for so I feel like this should be it, but now I am pregnant it's not so simple. In all fairness if you only read his side of the conversation it's not that bad and it could almost be that he didn't want to tell her to find off but was kind of enjoying the exchange. So unless they have actually met up or are planning to I don't feel he has been unfaithful, just been a bit flirty which is forgivable really.

I'm worried that they may try and meet up over Xmas, so I'm going to be keeping a close eye. We're each going to our parents which live 7 hours away so we are apart over Xmas for a week. I sound like psycho girlfriend and I can't believe I'm having to spend my energy on this but I need to know how far he will go. I feel so rubbish but pretending everything is fine. Hope everyone else is ok xx

 

[lisey]

We haven't had sex since before the IVF and my OH is fine about it. We were advised once pregnant not to by the midwife though because of our history plus I was too sick anyway.

It is more complicated when you're pregnant and not so easy to make snap decisions as there are more consequences. I really feel for you, I wouldn't be able to keep quiet and pretend things are ok but I can be hot headed if I feel disrespected! Do what ever is best for you and your baby. I hope you manage to have a lovely Christmas regardless of it all xx

 

[BettyHoop]

Thanks Lisey. I've been through this enough to know that the patient long game is often the best way to work out how to proceed. Also I don't want to get into an argument with oh and stress the baby out. And to be honest I'm more angry with the woman sending these kind of messages to someone she knows is engaged and has a baby on the way, so I'm more thinking I'll print posters of the exchange and stick them up at her place of work one day. Disgusting behaviour and the kind that I feel I've not punished far too many times before, in previous relationships, difference this time is I'm pregnant, don't mess with pregnant women!!!!! My oh did say at one point in their conversation that we make a good team, and as much as what he did was wrong it does look like he was backed into a corner somewhat.

I will have a great Xmas - I'm going to stay with my family for a week and we all get on really well and I haven't seen them for ages so I'm really looking forward to going there and also to having a break xx

 

[lisey]

Glad you have nice plans for Christmas Betty xx

Ladies, are cot bumpers a no no now? I am sure I remember hearing or reading it a while back? Xx

 

[Loubalouba]

Sounds like a good approach Betty! Time will tell if he is in it for the long haul.. Well done for being so patient and sensible! You have the upper hand! X

Yes cot bumpers are a no but you can get ones that just go on the bars.. Have a look at mamma and papas for an example xx

I feel so sick today.. Started wrapping presents but had to stop to eat before I started vomiting, I hate feeling so sick, I had forgotten what it's like!! Lisey I hope ur not still feeling so sick! I couldn't cope with it constant... I hope it goes off, feel rough today! Took the dog for a 40 minute walk and felt fine then.. I hope it means a growth spurt, we need this baby to grow! Properly! Felt lots of movement in bed this am but the kicks or movements are sooo subtle! I think it's the placenta cushioning them as feels different to Harrison like its cushioned... Hubby could feel most of them though so that's good!