Just found out my baby has died......

[berit87]

Just wanted to say again how very sorry I am you are having to go through this, it is so cruel and so unfair Sending you tonnes of love and hope the nightmare will end soon. Lots and lots and lots of love xxxxxxxxx

 

[MissJuly10]

I am so sorry for your loss Katkin. x

 

[russellmuscle]

Awwww Kat, I am so sorry to have read this my thoughts are with you xxxxxx

 

[SmallPurpleCat]

I had a medically managed mc so can't offer any experience/advice but wanted to give you a hug x Take care x

 

[claire23]

i cant offer any advice but just wanted to say im so sorry for your loss xxx

 

[Jem1]

Just want to say sorry again firstly. When I had my mmc last year I had a d&c as I felt this that the best option for me. The staff will speak to you about your options and do what's best for you. Massive hugs. Xxx

 

[Katkin72]

Thank you again to everyone who has posted here and sent me their best wishes.
Just had a sleep for an hour as I'm so exhausted. Well, semi-sleep as I was unable to rest fully. Still no bleeding as such, just pink discharge when I wipe Got up half an hour ago and feel worse than before - emotionally I feel numb or flat, few tears but not the floods like yesterday. Physically, my stomach is cramping a bit more - sounds crazy but I wish I would start bleeding!! I've just been trying to explain to my OH how I feel but I can't....... it almost feels like someone's blowing up a balloon inside my head and it's going to explode with the pressure, and my body feels so tired and drained of energy a bit like when you are coming down with flu. My poor OH is worried sick as he doesn't know what to do and feels he should know as he is nearly fully trained to be a nurse (qualifies in September). Are all these 'symptoms' normal? Or am I oing into meltdown??!!

 

[netty]

Its all totally normal hun if it helps here what happened to me

Went for scan no heartbeat went home, 5 days later I started with immense cramping I had felt bloated anyways more and more throughtout that week. The cramps came in waves as my body passed it all now for me it was excruciating but don't forget I was 14wk so don't panic sweets I ended up going to hospital and they scanned me wheb it had all passed and that was that all done.


I felt dead inside totally dead, that turned to anger then eventually acceptance

Feel how you need to feel and do what you need to to heal from this sweety

 

[Katkin72]

Thank Lynette it's so heartbreaking what we have to go through isn't it
My stomach feels more bloated today and I look huge!

 

[knopk@]

I am so sorry hunni, its a horrible experience to go through, i had a mc at 6 weeks and passed naturally, the hospital was horrible though. I had to sit with pregnant ladies waiting for their antenatals and wait for mu scan to confirm. Make sure you have ibuprofen and paracetamol at home just in case. Physical pain will pass relatively quickly but emotionally its much harder, give yourself time to grieve. Men can be a bit weird about it, it hurts but they sometimes prefer to just brush it off like it never happened

Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk 2

 

[Katkin72]

Thanks for your message knopk@. I'm so sorry to hear about your mc
I'm dreading my follow up appt at the EPU next week - it was hard enough being there yesterday before my mc was confirmed. It will be heartbreaking sitting with all the happily pregnant ladies again I wish they would have a separate area for women who have lost their babies. It feels like rubbing salt into the wound
My OH isn't handling things well this evening - he has just gone upstairs to be on his own for a while as he is so upset and angry. He says he wants to punch something I'm really worried, I have my family and friends around me to support me, he only has me!

 

[knopk@]

Thanks for your message knopk@. I'm so sorry to hear about your mc
I'm dreading my follow up appt at the EPU next week - it was hard enough being there yesterday before my mc was confirmed. It will be heartbreaking sitting with all the happily pregnant ladies again I wish they would have a separate area for women who have lost their babies. It feels like rubbing salt into the wound
My OH isn't handling things well this evening - he has just gone upstairs to be on his own for a while as he is so upset and angry. He says he wants to punch something I'm really worried, I have my family and friends around me to support me, he only has me!

I am sorry you have to sit with everyone else, at the other hospital i was in EPU was separate, fortunately second pregnancy was viable but its horrible sitting there.
Give your OH a hug, its perfectly normal to cry, some men think its not and i think its much harder if you dont.
Its horrible time, just want to give you a big hug. Although i now have a bouncy baby boy, i still remember my other bubs that wasnt meant to be, so does my husband. There is a site where you can light a star i think and write a message.
Take care of yourself and hoping its over quickly now, being in limbo is horrible

Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk 2

 

[Happyfeet]

Oh Kat, I'm so sorry. There's no right or wrong way to come to terms with a loss, all you can do is let your OH get his frustration out and then be there with open arms for him. Woman typically cry out the grief and men seem to take it into themselves. The only important bit is that you both support and listen to each other.

I remember that feeling of waiting for a scan, knowing your baby is probably gone and seeing happy couples coming out of the U/S room smiling from ear to ear with little scan pictures. It's so awful. My Doctor actually asked me why I'd chosen to do a few of my MC's at home without scans or appointments and such. Isn't it obvious Mr Dr?

I really hope for the best for you hun, keep supporting each other and keep resting xxx

 

[Katkin72]

I am sorry you have to sit with everyone else, at the other hospital i was in EPU was separate, fortunately second pregnancy was viable but its horrible sitting there.
Give your OH a hug, its perfectly normal to cry, some men think its not and i think its much harder if you dont.
Its horrible time, just want to give you a big hug. Although i now have a bouncy baby boy, i still remember my other bubs that wasnt meant to be, so does my husband. There is a site where you can light a star i think and write a message.
Take care of yourself and hoping its over quickly now, being in limbo is horrible

Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk 2

Thank you, yeah it really isn't an ideal situation is it? But I guess I dont have much choice so I'll have to take a deep breath and go in with as much dignity as I can gather

Oh Kat, I'm so sorry. There's no right or wrong way to come to terms with a loss, all you can do is let your OH get his frustration out and then be there with open arms for him. Woman typically cry out the grief and men seem to take it into themselves. The only important bit is that you both support and listen to each other.

I remember that feeling of waiting for a scan, knowing your baby is probably gone and seeing happy couples coming out of the U/S room smiling from ear to ear with little scan pictures. It's so awful. My Doctor actually asked me why I'd chosen to do a few of my MC's at home without scans or appointments and such. Isn't it obvious Mr Dr?

I really hope for the best for you hun, keep supporting each other and keep resting xxx

Hi Happyfeet - I totally understand why you would prefer to deal with your mcs at home rather than having to sit in the EPU. I hope I can pass everything naturally as I just want to get it over and done with now and move on. The thought of being admitted to hospital for a D&C really scares me

I've started bleeding slightly more this morning (though still not much), so hopefully this is the start. My OH went out to get me some Ibrufen and large pads yesterday so I'm as ready as I can be!!
We had a chat and a cry together last night and I told my OH to talk to me about his feelings and not bottle things up. He is sad but ok - we are strong and will get through this together. It will just take time.

 

[netty]

i was booked for a d&c but they wouldnt do it for me for 5 days after the mc! it was disgusting i had to carry my child for that long, in the end i ended up MC naturally anyways.

pads and painkillers are what i used hun! and a big bottle of vino! xxx

 

[flisstebbs]

I must admit, i had a similar experience last year Lynette, they told me i'd have to wait 6 days for the erpc until DH mentioned he had private insurance....

I've always tried to be a champion for the NHS, but that day i completely lost faith with being an NHS patient. How I've been treated by my EPU since has helped a bit though now...

Katkin, I hope they treat you well, I'm so so sorry your having to go through this, its horrible. The ibuprofen, big pads and bottle of wine doesn't sound like a terrible plan b to me though.... that's what i did after the ectopic. xxx

 

[Katkin72]

Arghhh, it sucks that the NHS drag out such a painful experience. Once you know you are going to miscarry, you just want to get it over and done with!! Grrrrr. I hope I have passed everything by the time I go back on Wednesday. My OH bought a bottle of wine yesterday, but I didn't really fancy any last night. He drank most of the bottle himself lol. I think tonight a bottle of wine may be just what I need

 

[netty]

i was treat like shit and ended up MC on a commode in a&e with no privacy and no OH. The doctor stayed and held my hand but that was it. the whole thing was a total farce!

there is not enough done to help women who mc at all, like i had to go wait in the EPU centre with all the happy pregnant mums for over an hour after the scan! to see a doc for 2 seconds and go home!

so much more shoud be done

 

[jojo3972]

must say i think they realy should not have ladies wait my wait was 6 days it was horrible i kept thinking maybe they got it wrong cos i had symptoms i had dreams nightmares more like it was horrific that wait,i just wanted it over with, i just hope it happens for u and soon katkin bless ya take care and u drink that wine tonight i sure as hell got trashed wen i was on my wait for erpc to be done xxx

 

[Katkin72]

i was treat like shit and ended up MC on a commode in a&e with no privacy and no OH. The doctor stayed and held my hand but that was it. the whole thing was a total farce!

there is not enough done to help women who mc at all, like i had to go wait in the EPU centre with all the happy pregnant mums for over an hour after the scan! to see a doc for 2 seconds and go home!

so much more shoud be done

Awww Lynette I am so sorry you were treated so terribly nobody should have to go through what happened to you at a time like this women need to be treated with care and dignity, not made to feel even worse xxx