Just found out my baby has died......

[Katkin72]

Had my D&C yesterday - don't feel up to talking about it right now but just had to put it into words. Feel empty, numb and in physical pain

 

[mumsy4]

I'm sorry hunni, sending lots of love xx

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk 2

 

[Pudds86]

hugs hun xxxx

Sent from my shit hot phone! Fo shizzle home girls.

 

[dyscochick]

So sorry hun xx

 

[Sunshine_1]

So sorry you feel so terrible hun

 

[Katkin72]

The hospital are going to carry out tests on the 'remains' removed in the D&C - will they be able to tell me the sex of the baby at such an early stage? I know this sounds morbid but it really hurts to not even know if it would have been a boy or a girl. Don't know if finding out would help me or make things worse. I don't know whether to say 'I was a mummy.....' Feel like a fraud to even be thinking this.......... My head is all over the place.

 

[Louise80]

I really really don't know what to say katkin but I didn't want to not say anything. I'm so sorry for what you've been through, I cannot begin to imagine the strength needed to get thru it but I hope you have good support and people to help you thru this terrible time. Lots of love xxxxx

 

[H16]

Oh Katkin hun I know how you feel about if you can say you were a mummy or not.
I'm going to repeat to you what Lynette said to me when I had a mmc as it really helped me...."You will always be a Mum, even angels need Mummies."

That comment helped me sooooooo soooo much and I can't thank Lynette enough for it.

It made me realise that every woman that has lost a child will forever be a Mum as that baby grew inside their body, it was a part of them, it was their child. As much as it pains me that I will never get to hold my baby in my arms I take great comfort from knowing I have a child in heaven who I will be reunited with one day. (Sorry if that sounds morbid, don't mean it to be). I can't wait to try for another baby in time but they will always be my second child, I will never forget my little angel.

Hope you are doing ok

xxxx

 

[Happyfeet]

I'm so sorry Kat

 

[BunnyN]

You may not have had the chance to care for a baby as other mothers do but you were carrying it inside of you. Bonding between baby and mother starts very early and I'm sure you had already made changes in your plans/diet/routine to care for your baby, doctors visits etc. So unfortunately you didn't have the same experience of motherhood that many get but you were already looking after your baby and bonding with it and making plans for it's future, you were it's mother. Not everyone grieves a miscarriage in the same way, and that is okay, you don't have to feel or not feel a certain way but you are a grieving mother and you need to give yourself time to grieve. You won't feel like you do now forever but I'm sure you will always remember your baby.

If you want to know if it was a boy or girl I would ask the doctor. They may not be able to tell so early physically if it was a boy or a girl but if they are doing genetic tests they can know it's gender through DNA.

I'm so sorry for you loss.

 

[Katkin72]

Thank you everyone for your kind posts and well wishes - makes me feel a little less alone. Still don't feel up to talking about it but I guess it will take time before I can write it all down. I'm sure when I do it will help.
Just been out for the 1 st time since my operation. I went to Tesco with my OH lol. It's only a 5 min walk which I thought I could manage but my OH insisted he drove us there. I am SO glad he did, I was only in the store for about 10 mins but the energy it took to walk around nearly finished me off. My abdomen was cramping so much I could hardly put one foot in front of the other and I was exhausted when we got back in the car. Now I'm back on the sofa in front of the TV feeling sorry for myself as I obviously can't do very much without suffering

 

[BunnyN]

You body has been through a lot as well as your emotions, you'll get there a little at a time. A hug for you.

 

[Katkin72]

Feel like I'm drowning in emotions and tears my heart is so heavy...........

 

[crazycatlady]

Oh hon. It's all too unfair. Hugs and more hugs. I hope you physically feel better soon and that you and your oh get through this together xx

Sent from my GT-S5830 using Tapatalk 2

 

[jojo3972]

katkin i want to jump into lappy and give u a massive hug bless ya, and of course u are a mummy ,they would not test what they took from me on either time only test they did was to see if it was all mc tissue or watever they call it retained products horrible way to describe it my hospital wont do it unless its 3 mcs :-/. im not sure if they can tell the sex i like to think of mine been 1 of each,it does get easier my heart ached for weeks and weeks only wen i got that -hpt and my body was returning to post bfp that i felt i was getting over it a bit better , take care and take it easy and maybe u are anemic and this is why ur so very tired i was and needed tabs fr it i felt like u did, be thinking of you xxxxx

 

[Katkin72]

Well these past few days have been pure hell - physically I am exhausted and can't do very much. I've had very little bleeding since my D&C on Saturday and the cramps have pretty much stopped. The pain in my heart and my head won't go away though, and I feel like I'm on an emotional rollercoaster. I have no motivation, no interest in anything, and can't face seeing people. Everything makes me cry and I can't pull myself put of it. My mum took me out for a coffee today at a local garden centre and I ended up sitting in the car in floods of tears. We had only been out for just over an hour and I couldn't wait to get home. I'm constantly rushing to the loo as I keep expecting to start bleeding heavily but there is only slight spotting. I don't know whether that is it or if it will suddenly start in the next few days/weeks. Is it possible they got everything out and I won't have a heavy bleed?
Even after my surgery I still feel in limbo. I just want to feel 'normal' and happy again

 

[jojo3972]

what ur feeling is normal katkin i didnt go out for over a week after my erpc i just couldnt face no one outside my house i didnt even want my mum or mil here and i cried all the time my heart was like it had been ripped out and my head was mush but slowly but surely it got better,and after my erpc i bled for 1 day that is it they said that they did a gd job with everything :-/ but i bled a lot and needed iron tabs as blood was low,its a hughe thing to go through and we have t grieve like if we had lost a close relative its the same and crying is part of it all, i realy hope u are ok bless ya take care xxxx

 

[Katkin72]

Thank you jojo - I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy

 

[smac]

Try not to worry about not bleeding much, I had what could only be described as a light period after my d&c . It will take time but I promise it does get easier. Do t be hard on yourself, give yourself as long as you need to grieve. Sending you hugs.

 

[H16]

Big hugs Katkin, really sorry you are having to go through this.

I know it doesn't feel like it now but you will gradually start to feel a little bit better and a little bit more like yourself. It's been 6 weeks since I found out I mc and I am finally starting to feel as though I can cope a lot better. Got my first AF this week and for me that has been a big factor in being able to "move on" from what has happened. I am having more good days than bad now.

I hope you start to feel a little better soon too, just take each day as it comes and look after yourself xxx