Emotionally scarred by having a baby in SCBU?

[Constantstar]

Owen was 39 weeks a nd spent one week in scbu as bumped his head on way out and had bleeding between skin and skull- I missed those first moments too but I know it was best for him but it's a very difficult thing to deal with and I do feel I missedbthe bonding but as soon a I saw him properly ( next day) I was in love x

sent from my Samsung Galaxy S3

 

[Princess81]

L/o was born at 36+6 with transient tachypnea.
Also I had an infection during labour and they rushed through two set of antibiotics but I progressed so fast at the end they didn't have chance to give the third. So he was kept on antibiotics 5 days after birth.
Also he was quite badly jaundiced so had phototherapy for a few days.
I got to hold him immediately after delivery whilst o/h cut the cord - he was whisked straight off to scbu and I was calling for him and crying as my arms just ached to hold him, I got no skin to skin etc but I knew it was for the best.
I hated seeing all these tubes over him and he had to get a feeding tube put in as he was finding it too hard to breathe so he couldn't feed it was awful seeing his tiny chest heaving with effort
What also got me is that he had bruises all over his tiny hands and feet from the iv antibiotics, in the end they had to put it in his head

This pic is the day before he was discharged and was able to feed. But look at his poor little hand
It upsets me to this day, I try to block it out. You'd never know to look at him, he's a big chunk now

 

[Andreabrad]

Aww he is beautiful!!!!

Until you have experienced something like this you can't truly appreciate how hard it is.

Giving birth is one of the most precious moments in your life. It should be treasured. But when your baby needs some help it becomes one of the most traumatic events ever. The hormones make it so much worse.

My baby had iv antibiotics too and had several needles put in place and it was horrific.

He needs his blood taken tomorrow and I feel sick at the thought. Our babies are so precious and were programmed to protect and care for them. In situations like this total control is taken away and mums are left helpless.

It's such a awful experience xxx

 

[Princess81]

What we can be thankful for is that they will never remember a single thing about it. Whereas we'll never forget. Just focus in the positives eh, they made it earth side ok and now we get to have a hundred cuddles per day xx good luck tomorrow xx

 

[fresh]

We look back at pictures now and cringe too; he just looks terrible and now you'd never know he had anything wrong
Charlie wasn't a fan of the needles but worse still was when they squeezed his foot for the bm tests and took his epidural plaster off... It covered his entire back

 

[tweetyfoo]

Aaron was like a pin cushion, he was getting blood tests for his sugars, then for jaundice, then for his oxygen levels.

His poor feet were black and blue, and he screamed every time, I felt so bad for him

I'm more mad about the fact that I felt like I couldn't take pictures of him till about 3 weeks in when a nurse asked me if I was getting lots of pics of him.

I think that parents need more information about how the place works, who does what and what the rules are.

I personally did all the cares myself for Aaron, as it was my personal opinion that it was my job. The nurses quite often told me to get some sleep, but I had to get up to express anyway. Changing his nappy and feeding him was all I could do for him.

 

[fresh]

We stayed in 2 hospitals; the first dud everything for us and there was no need to be there at all. Changing, feeding, cuddling..In fact we were the only parents in our section who were there pretty much all of the time.
The second hospital did nothing except clinical stuff it was one extreme to the other

 

[fresh]

Must add that we didn't let the first one do everything though; perfect opportunity to practise our nappy changing techniques

 

[tweetyfoo]

I was the only mum who was at the hospital full time, they tried to kick me out but I put my big mammy foot down!

 

[Andreabrad]

I didn't leave. I couldn't. It broke my heart going to my bed for the night!! If I hadn't been given the family room to stay in I would have slept in the car!! There were some babies on the unit and I diddnt even see any parents visit I found it really strange. I couldn't keep away. But I suppose people cope differently.

Ollies feet are a mess from all the squeezing and needles. He screams. So I've been rubbing his little feet and massaging them to try and relieve the discomfort but to also let him know that every time his feet are touched that it doesn't mean pain. Don't want him getting a fear of his feet poor little thing.

xx

 

[fresh]

Of the babies in our ward, after scbu

one family had to rely on buses but I think it was an excuse; I heard nurses gossiping asking which bloke the dad was as she brought a different bloke every day
The other went away for the weekend which we thought was odd , however after finding out baby was born with its tummy outside its body, he was 3 months old and half the size of Charlie and spent its first 10 weeks in hospital out for 2 weeks and back in...you kind of understand what a crap time mum and dad had had of late

 

[Andreabrad]

I think you imagine if someone has a new baby in special care you think they are going to be by their side 24/7 but I suppose life still continues I had a 7yr old and I was very lucky it was school holidays and my mum had him. And sometimes parents need a break.

My oh took me to Pizza Hut for lunch, and I felt so guilty for leaving the hospital. But at the same time felt much better for getting out into the 'normal' world and having a proper meal.

xx

 

[fresh]

It does feel like you are in a dark tunnel and the exit was never getting closer, every time we saw the light they would find something else and the light would be further away
We got out a couple of times, we celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary so went out for dinner in Oxford and it was great just to get out for the evening

 

[Kate1985]

I feel awful right now because I'm waiting for my midwife! She's late and all I keep thinking is I've got to get to the hospital to see my little boy! It's really winding me up. She's always late. His cares are at 11 and I'm going to end up missing them today Harry's heels are the same black and blue from needles. Good idea about massaging them though. I will try that when I finally get him home xxx

 

[Andreabrad]

Ollie enjoys it now getting his feet rubbed it seems to send him to sleep!!

How awful ur mw being late. Have you said something to her like you needed to get to hospital?!

Thinks will get easier you know. Sounds mad but it will. I kind of got used to the NICU way of life and got into my own routine. The hardest part was the first few days when my hormones were all over!

Keep strong and keep smiling your little boy needs his mummy to be stron
Sending my love xxxxx

 

[Kate1985]

Thanks Andrea. Nice is getting like home now. Today was nice. Hey let me go into the parent flat for the day and spend all day with my boy to myself. It was lovely. He still won't take my milk though so I'm facing a really hard decision. Do I keep trying my best and stick it out a bit longer, or do I give in an key him have bottles in hope we will go home quicker? Only thing is obviously because of the situation, breastfeeding is the only thing I feel I can do for him that no one else can so it seems especially important to do it if that makes sense xxx

 

[Andreabrad]

Do what I do Hunni, and express put it in a bottle and that way your killing two birds with one stone!! Feeding is what held me back so I decided to express and bottle feed. Once your home you can work on getting him to latch on. It's hard work but so worth it xxx

 

[Kate1985]

I am expressing or his tube feeds at the moment? Do you still bottle feed or hashe started to latch on?xx

 

[Andreabrad]

I still express and bottle feed. He has latched on a couple of times but I got really sore so had to go back to expressing but I don't mind. It gives me some time to relax!!! xx

 

[Kate1985]

Thankyou. I think I'm goin to try bottle with expressing. Hes Jaundice again right now so thats holding us back too xx