can you actually afford to have a baby?

[mumsy4]

My friend claims single but has the father of her 2 kids living with her. And he's on 25k a year but shes at collage and says if they were to be legit she couldn't afford college or the childcare.
That pees me off a lot, me and my other half couldn't afford to live together either, but when we had a child together we had to make it work, so he went from from being responsible for himself, to being responsible for me, his child AND 2 other kids who were not his.
So it does piss me off when she claims single for the 2 kids that are his..IYKWIM

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He earns £25k and she still claims as single with him living there?! Im not saying £25k is a huge amount but surely it would be enough to live together and her go college? They might just have to sacrifice things. My partner isn't on much more than minimum wage but has huge travel costs so we would literally have pennies left to buy my LO clothes etc. Once I've got a part time job (although hopefully full time) he'll move in and that's been planned regardless of me going to college next year. We just need to sacrifice things.

they both run a car, which obviously they NEED -_-
Both pay for gym memberships, and he Spends a few hundred quid a month at the casino. Sometimes he wins sometimes he loses. There are no sacrifices at all and none they are willing time make.

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[Iriki]

What's disgusting about doing voluntary work to give back a little of what you're receiving?
!

My thoughts exactly.

 

[mumsy4]

A car each I mean!

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[Froslass]

I don't think they meant the voluntary work was disgusting, but that companies get paid to take volunteers on which is sad iykwim?

 

[dyscochick]

I've really enjoyed catching up on this thread, DH and I are in a fortunate position but were discussing the fact that even on a good salary if we have a second while the first is in childcare it won't be worth him working. Mumsy4 your friend is a great example of people that pee me off, not wanting to make sacrifices and feeling that they should have everything, lying to make sure they can get it. There are few people who don't have to give stuff up when children come along to ensure that you afford to give them as much as you can.

My hat is off to you natasha, working nights and looking after a LO during the day must be exhausting, and you aren't the first person I've seen do here do similar. There is also a balance, now that our OHs are entitled to a share of SMP it should be more about the family unit doing what is best financially, which might not be the traditional 'mum at home, dad at work' but Dad can have SMP for some of the time and perhaps it makes more sense financially to do it that way. I do think that some women (not necessarily on here) feel a sense of entitlement about them being the ones that should stay at home, in this day and age we should be more flexible in our thinking and many people are. DH will be taking some of my SMP as I am the higher wage earner to strike a balance between childcare costs and income. So we'll balance what we can how we can.

 

[littlemiss83]

There was a case recently that went to court. A young girl had been studying something to do with museums (sorry i cant remember the exact name of the course) but it would have got her a good job in a museum. After she qualified a museum offered her a voluntary role, which if she done for a number of months she would have been given a full time paid role, she tried to apply for part time work while doing the voluntary work at museum, and couldn't find any so went onto JSA to feed herself, the job centre told her she wasn't allowed to work voluntarily in the museum any more & told her she had to take a voluntary role in poundland. She took it to the courts, her argument was - yes, voluntary work is fine for benefits, but it should be for genuine places that need volunteers, not shops like poundland. Because she had to go to the state to survive (money for food) she had to sacrifice a good job, she got put into poundland eventually as she had to eat & she wasn't given a role as such, they didn't even need people unpacking boxes or stacking shelves, she was left hanging about, when she asked the manager what she could do she was told to look busy. I'm sure even the most hardened person would find this un-acceptable.

There is numerous charities that could do with volunteers. But poundland?? lool I have to admit when I first heard of this volunteer scheme I thought....great, get them doing something usefull, but I never thought in a million years they'd put them in poundland doing something that doesn' t need done!!!!

It just doesn't make sense.

 

[dyscochick]

I didn't know about the poundland thing, that is appalling, especially if they get paid to have unpaid staff! And even worse that that court case even got to that point, that finding valuable voluntary work doesn't qualify you for JSA, unbelievable the system here! You gotta think there is something dogdy going on behind the scenes, how can that be justifiable?

 

[MrsCow]

Hi all, I dont post on here very often, but have read this thread with interest.

My husband and me are the middle road people. We recieve no tax credits only cb. We really struggle, I am an Asda person!! I work partime, three eves a week 6-midnite and a sat afternoon. I do not earn very much and and I get cross when Im slogging my guts out till 12 oclock at night and then getting up early with my 2 small boys while others seem to be sitting cosy, drawing there benefits and have no intention of getting a job.

I work these hours because we cannot afford childcare, we have no family near us, so there is just us to look after our children, we have no choice. My husband works full time, just to clarify. I would just like to say that it seems to me that the harder you work to support yourslevs and your family, then the less you get? How about rewarding the workers in this country and not those that dont work? This goes way beyond child care, what about the elderly who have worked all there lives and if they own there own home have to sell it to pay for there care? Yet they could be sitting in a chair next to some one who had no savings etc and yet government would pay for there care! WRONG!!!


Sorry I know Im waffling now, but would just like to end by saying that when I was a child my mum worked partime in a hospital doing nights, my parents had no childcare costs and it topped up family income, Im now doing the same.

Question was, can you afford to have a baby? Not really, but it was our dream to have our boys, so we just had to work really hard, dont expect someone else to pay for them, there our children and I think by working hard is setting a good example , you want something , then you work hard. Simple

 

[AugustMum]

Whoops pressed submit lol

 

[MrsR]

DH is loving his volunteer work AND it's at a charity he can put them down as a reference and they've been really helpful-perhaps he just lucked out?

 

[cosmicgirl]

Hi all, I dont post on here very often, but have read this thread with interest.

My husband and me are the middle road people. We recieve no tax credits only cb. We really struggle, I am an Asda person!! I work partime, three eves a week 6-midnite and a sat afternoon. I do not earn very much and and I get cross when Im slogging my guts out till 12 oclock at night and then getting up early with my 2 small boys while others seem to be sitting cosy, drawing there benefits and have no intention of getting a job.

I work these hours because we cannot afford childcare, we have no family near us, so there is just us to look after our children, we have no choice. My husband works full time, just to clarify. I would just like to say that it seems to me that the harder you work to support yourslevs and your family, then the less you get? How about rewarding the workers in this country and not those that dont work? This goes way beyond child care, what about the elderly who have worked all there lives and if they own there own home have to sell it to pay for there care? Yet they could be sitting in a chair next to some one who had no savings etc and yet government would pay for there care! WRONG!!!


Sorry I know Im waffling now, but would just like to end by saying that when I was a child my mum worked partime in a hospital doing nights, my parents had no childcare costs and it topped up family income, Im now doing the same.

Question was, can you afford to have a baby? Not really, but it was our dream to have our boys, so we just had to work really hard, dont expect someone else to pay for them, there our children and I think by working hard is setting a good example , you want something , then you work hard. Simple

I agree, there should be more rewards to those who work hard, I dont know how this would be done but it seems to me that the government should do like a yearly bonus or something. For example, i would be made up if I got December free council tax wise or NI wise to buy Christmas presents.
Some little "thanks for working hard" gesture. Or even one months free childcare, now that would be great! x

 

[Titch85]

My OH's brother was told to do voluntary work at a British Heart Foundation shop, the way I tried to explain it to him was:
he could do the voluntary work for 20 hours a week to ensure he could keep his JSA, or he could take a part time job at ASDA or Tesco or a similar minimum wage job (of which there's quite a few) and be earning more than he gets on JSA. He didnt understand my point at all, and just moaned about being made to do the voluntary work.

 

[misscrazycooki]

By the way its a grand each for each person that does the work experience in what ever business. As i was working in a care home and we had a girl come in who was on job seekers doing a full weeks work of 12 hour shifts for her benefits. To be honest i thought it was appalling at the time as she was useless and just stood there watching you all day and got in the way. And the fact she was being used for a 60 hour week job for peanuts.

20/06/2012 - Elliott born at 129 x

11/02/2011 - Leo born at 11:37 x

 

[misscrazycooki]

Do think this is off topic now though as it was can you afford a baby not what do you think of the system or is it just me.

20/06/2012 - Elliott born at 129 x

11/02/2011 - Leo born at 11:37 x

 

[Froslass]

Don't think it off topic, as the reason most people have to save so much is because of the system x

 

[misscrazycooki]

You get trapped on benefits its quite easy plus when you really want help to get out you got shot down in flames. My partner has asked for training so many times we have lost count. Social services are actually trying to help him more than the job centre to find work.

20/06/2012 - Elliott born at 129 x

11/02/2011 - Leo born at 11:37 x

 

[netty]

Do think this is off topic now though as it was can you afford a baby not what do you think of the system or is it just me.

20/06/2012 - Elliott born at 129 x

11/02/2011 - Leo born at 11:37 x

its all part of the same debate?

 

[lisey27]

I agree, its all part of the same debate but the debate has evolved, yes the question was; can you afford to have a baby which has lead to a discussion about income and benefits.
I was under the impression there was a fair amount of help available to get parents back to work, including working tax credits, child tax credits-which offers help with childcare along with grants for clothes to start a new job, these were brought in with the intention to get parents back to work and therefore reduce and in time eradicate child poverty. This is why these benefits were introduced, as a top-up for lower income families. I know its not easy to find jobs at the moment but I do feel there is some help available for when people do find a job to make the transition from benefits to working life a little easier. Its not solely down to the job centre/government to find jobs for people, there are websites, adverts in shop windows, agencies etc.

 

[netty]

i think the jobcentre is terrible for finding you work!

not once has it ever helped me, i have always found jobs off my own back

 

[lisey27]

i think the jobcentre is terrible for finding you work!

not once has it ever helped me, i have always found jobs off my own back

Same here x