Ttc shit boat - long term ttcers

[snowbee]

Sorry Syd. It is awful isn't it. Hopefully removing your fibroid will make the difference. I'm struggling to come to terms with not having children it is all I ever wanted. At the moment fostering and adoption just isn't an alternative for us either so I am not sure where to go from here. I've not told my oh I'm on CD1 he is still so hopeful this will be the cycle. Argh I hate breaking his heart each time

 

[Sugarpop]

Snowbee is IVF not an option?

 

[phonixgirl]

It's not really an option for us either (not because we don't want to - we might try anyway) and I'm struggling to come to terms with that. Our next FET will be our last. It's something you think happens only to other people. Breaking OH's heart is the worst part and the reason we are stopping.

I'm about 8dpo I think if FF is right about my ov. Been having a few aches and pains today but trying not to read anything into it.

 

[stacesl3]

Sorry the chlomid hasn't worked snowbee

I dont know why some of us have harder journeys than others, it really sucks. I dont want to give up yet as all I want is to be a mum, there are so many bloody pregnant women and babies around me I could scream sometimes. The pregnant girl in my office is ALWAYS sat there stroking her belly, does my head in I know thats mean as if it were me I would probably do the same thing lol. But its hard to see though, I cant wait until she goes on maternity leave (god Im so horrible!)

CD12 today, not had a positive ov test yet which is really unusual for me, usually get one CD11 or 12? there is a faint line there so maybe tomorrow. I'm wandering if it had anything to do with having reflexology? I have my seconc appointment later...

 

[snowbee]

Did you get your positive opk stace?

Fingers crossed for you phonix.

Sugar I do get one IVF on the NHS but at the moment I'm not eligible as I'm over their weight limit, not by much I just really struggle to lose any weight at all, I tend to drop fat and put on muscle and then I'm even heavier than when I started! Ridiculous. I'm not sure what I'm going to do to get it off. My GP has let me try metformin and I've put on 0.5kg!

 

[stacesl3]

Hey snowbee, yes finally got a positive on the Friday CD13 and another on CD14! In TWW now......yet another one lol, I've actually lost count now!! Hope you're okay x

 

[Syd43]

Hi ladies, hope everyone is doing ok.

I've just been for reflexology, my therapist specialises in fertility and has an amazing track record. She's fairly convinced I had a chemical pregnancy last month, she treated me on day 21 of my last cycle and said she was positive something was going on, it's written all over my notes. She didn't say anything at the time, she never does because implantation so often fails. I did actually feel like something was going on last month, nothing major in the way of symptoms other than slight nipple pain as opposed to full boob pain which is what I normally get, I kept feeling dizzy which is unusual for me but put that down to not drinking enough water, I thought I felt what could have been implantation cramps although no real way of knowing. Also had my shortest amount of pre-af spotting in over a year.

Typically I didn't test last month so no way of knowing but I'm going to choose to think something was happening. The thought of even getting that close is exciting at the age of 44 having never had a positive test. Can't ttc now until mid-August as I'm having surgery to remove a huge fibroid but feeling positive right now. Maybe all those vitamins and the fortune I'm spending on reflexology and acupuncture is helping

Staces - fingers crossed for this tww!

Snowbee, I really need to lose some weight too. Not going the IVF route but know it will be better if I can lose about a stone, just don't feel motivated right now.

 

[Sugarpop]

Did you get your positive opk stace?

Fingers crossed for you phonix.

Sugar I do get one IVF on the NHS but at the moment I'm not eligible as I'm over their weight limit, not by much I just really struggle to lose any weight at all, I tend to drop fat and put on muscle and then I'm even heavier than when I started! Ridiculous. I'm not sure what I'm going to do to get it off. My GP has let me try metformin and I've put on 0.5kg!

Im on metformin too and havent lost any weight. I dont know whether the hospital will give me clomid yet. Im waiting for my appointment to come through.

Sent from my SM-T230 using Tapatalk

 

[stacesl3]

Hey Syd, It's crazy isn't it what they can tell you just by your feet! I cant say its made me relax anymore (although only had 2 sessions so far) but I did have spotting for a couple of days after I went the first time (it was CD6) my periods have usually finished by then. I told her and she said it was a good sign as could be my body's way of having a proper clear out.... !! second time i went it was cd11, I hadn't had a positive OV yet which is unusual for me and she could actually tell i wasn't ovulating yet.

Does your lady not advise yuo to come at certain points in your cycle? Mine says best time is after period but before ovulation...?

Well fingers crossed the next one will take, eek! It's mad to think you could have had a chemical, but then I reckon they are more common than people think.

 

[Syd43]

Thanks Staces. I think they are pretty common and there really is no way of knowing but I'd like to think it was true I do find it amazing the things they can tell, I remember a lady I used to go to years ago always knew when I was ovulating.

My lady does it at any time of the cycle and just adjusts the treatment accordingly. She was telling me recently that there is no specialist reflexology training as such, people just do a reflexology course and from there every specialisation is "self taught". There is one lady that offers a course in fertility reflexology for qualified reflexologists and she believes in only treating at certain times but really different people do different things. I think before ovulation is a good time to go to help produce a good strong ovulation but also my lady loves to treat on day 21 in order to try and help a budding pregnancy I don't find it relaxing as such, probably because I chat all the way through, I do love it though.

I've also heard that a good clear out is a good thing - from both my reflexologist and my acupuncturist (is that a word??). Could it be that you're getting into a more regular cycle and may ovulate closer to day 14? How long is your cycle normally?

 

[phonixgirl]

Syd, that's so good! I'm wondering if the same happened to me... although I know I definitely had a chem last month. I've finally started ovulating on cd14 and only getting a day of spotting now with cramps nowhere near as bad as they used to be. That's got to be better, right?!

Saying that, I think we've both decided to move onto other things - look for a btl house and look into adoption. I'm starting to come to terms with the fact I might not be a mum and I'm beginning to be ok with that. Ish.

 

[Syd43]

Definitely better! How have you managed to sort out ovulation, spotting, cramping etc? You may well find that focussing on other things makes you relaxed enough for everything to work

I'm giving myself to the end of the year but can't start again til mid August and don't see oh every month so really only a few more cycles. I'm definitely not coming to terms with it, really worried about becoming very bitter.

Excited for you re adoption, it really has worked out so well for friends of mine and there's a great thread on the long term ttc thread about a lady that adopted if you haven't already seen it.

 

[Syd43]

I'm an idiot, of course you've seen it, we spoke on that thread

 

[phonixgirl]

Oh I'm bitter alright! There's a very realistic chance we might not be able to adopt and I'm fully aware of that so trying to think of the benefits of a childless life...

Well I read chromium was good for PCOS and the first month I took it my spotting was sooo much better. I take it all the time now. Maca and inositol have helped my cycles go to 28 days instead of 24 I believe so I am continuing taking them.

I used to be dry, never used to have ewcm and had crazy af with spotting... now my cycles are pretty textbook! I'm just not pregnant!!!

 

[Syd43]

Hopefully your body is just finishing getting itself fully sorted out ready for a lovely healthy pregnancy. I don't get EWCM, my acupuncture lady is working on that and giving me lots of tips.

 

[stacesl3]

Thanks Staces. I think they are pretty common and there really is no way of knowing but I'd like to think it was true I do find it amazing the things they can tell, I remember a lady I used to go to years ago always knew when I was ovulating.

My lady does it at any time of the cycle and just adjusts the treatment accordingly. She was telling me recently that there is no specialist reflexology training as such, people just do a reflexology course and from there every specialisation is "self taught". There is one lady that offers a course in fertility reflexology for qualified reflexologists and she believes in only treating at certain times but really different people do different things. I think before ovulation is a good time to go to help produce a good strong ovulation but also my lady loves to treat on day 21 in order to try and help a budding pregnancy I don't find it relaxing as such, probably because I chat all the way through, I do love it though.

I've also heard that a good clear out is a good thing - from both my reflexologist and my acupuncturist (is that a word??). Could it be that you're getting into a more regular cycle and may ovulate closer to day 14? How long is your cycle normally?

Lol Syd, no chatting for me! The lady I has really 'gets into the zone', there is nice relaxing music in the background, candles, and a nice fleecy blanket.... I sooo nearly fell asleep last time

My cycle is usually around 26-29 days, most commonly 27 or 28 days and I usually ovulate from CD12-14. Hopefully the reflexology will help!

 

[phonixgirl]

Sounds like my acupuncture! I only had it during ivf due to cost but I fell asleep most times lol. Would like to give reflexology a go though just to see! Xx

 

[snowbee]

I'm going to look into reflexology and acupuncture. What sort of prices are normal?

We should rename this the bitter boat! I'm not in any way ready to come to terms with not having children but I can't see it ever happening now. This journey is so so hard.

 

[Syd43]

It is. I keep just wanting t scream out "this is so bloody unfair"! I have no idea who I would be screaming it too and it feels so childish but it's just not fair...

I always £40 for reflexology which I think is about average and £55 for acupuncture which I think is slightly high. Initial consultation is always more expensive, I think my acupuncture one was £95.

 

[Emily0505]

Well, here I was thinking I might get to disembark but nope!

Miscarriage number three in progress!

Dunno about disembarking, I'm feeling like throwing myself overboard!!

I didn't even know I was pregnant!!

XX