*** November 2014 Mum's ***

[nicejuicypear]

Goat, that nap pattern sounds similar to ours except the last one is more into the evening, giving her quite a late bedtime. But they're not very long and I just kind of expected her to have longer naps for some reason. And they would be useful so I could fit in an episode of Eastenders and some housework, because at the minute it's the episode of EE that takes priority and then she wakes up before I get anything useful done!

I feel quite disgruntled with my wife about my supposedly picking the baby up too much. I always believed that you shouldn't pick a baby up as soon as they start to cry and I do try not to run to Frankie straight away but if she keeps crying, which she usually does, I do eventually go and see to her, either to move her from her current place, give her a dummy or give her a new toy, if not pick her up. I only give it a few minutes though, not too long. But last night, she came to bed really late and woke the baby so I picked her up to settle because I was tired and didn't want to be the one to sit up and wait for her to resettle herself. Often, I do let her settle herself (by shoving a dummy in, closing my eyes and hoping for the best!) but I didn't last night because I'd only just managed to get to the point of sleepiness myself and didn't want to be sat up for ages. My wife started going on about picking her up and spoiling her and how I don't give her a chance to settle herself. It really irritated me and I ended up going to sleep in a huff. She hardly ever wakes up in the night so she doesn't see the amount of times I do let the baby self-settle.

Tonight I've just walked in on her and her sister talking and they stopped when I walked in, quite obviously. They said they were talking about parenting styles and gave each other a look. I just ignored it and went to feed the dog, but I am sick of it, she acts like I never leave the baby alone and keeps saying to me 'sometimes you've just got to let them cry' and 'she'll just keep crying if you keep picking her up'. What is annoying me is that I don't pick her up immediately all the time, it's just she's not here to see what I do.

She makes a lot of comments about spoiling the baby and I really don't think I am, but then I feel like I end up justifying things that I do.

 

[mellie_88]

NJP try not to let your wife get to you. I understand it must be hard though, especially as she's already raised her children so she believes what she did is best. It's a lot easier for me as OH has no other children so I can easily mould him to be how I want. When Jake was little he made a comment saying "it's good for them to air their lungs." I told him about the studies about leaving babies to cry and emotional difficulties and he quickly changed his tune. You're doing a great job raising her. I pick Jake up whenever he cries and I don't believe that can be classed as spoiling them, I think it's just loving them.

Jake doesn't nap well either. On an ideal day he'll have a short one in the morning then a long one at lunch time and another short one at about 4pm. But some days he manages all day on about 30 minutes worth of naps!

I'm contemplating giving Jake solids, I really didn't want to until 6 months but he's showing all the signs he's ready. He can sit up, and bring toys etc to his mouth easily. Plus he really wants to participate in meal times. We can't eat anymore without him crying. The moment he sees we have food he cries and cries. So we pick him up and he still cries and just stares at the food as we're putting it into our mouths. it's 16 days I think until he's 6 months and I really don't think he'll let us wait that long. :/

 

[nicejuicypear]

I just don't want to feel like a hypocrite because I used to say the same before I had Frankie as that's the kind of thing my mum believed in, typically of her generation. My wife says I'll do the same to the baby as I did to the dog but that's not true, I purposely mollycoddled the dog because I wanted to, haha! I think I find it more frustrating because she's quite hands off in practical terms. Lots of fun & cuddles with the baby but I do all the parenting so to have it criticised bugs me.

They say to hold off for allergy reasons, are there a lot of allergies in your family? I'm doing my best to hold off until 6 months because I sneeze and wheeze at everything but if I didn't I would start earlier if she was showing signs of wanting to eat. 16 days isn't much early really.

I think she's curious now. I was trying snack while breastfeeding one day recently and every time I put a bit of food in my mouth, she'd unlatch and stare at my food!

 

[Kaa286]

Hey guys busy busy busy here!! Have moved house as finally had enough of our horrible landlady. The new house is a bungalow and literally just across the road from old house but different landlord and we love it the garden is huge and the house is much brighter even faith is happier here.not been a smooth transition though still not completely organised and still waiting for our deposit to be released as old landlady keeps disputing stupid things the nasty cow. Cant wait to be 100% rid of her!

Nige and i went to the lakes stayed in mums static at weekend lovely break and starting to feel happier and a bit more like the old us again.
Faith now has breakfast and an evening meal...porridge or weetabix and all she had so far is mash which she loves. Trying sweet potato tonight then will start introducing veg. Been told by hv to just give mushed food til she can sit unaided and then introduce finger food.
We also have our first tooth!! Think the second one will be with us in a matter of days too :-/

Njp tell her to sod off. She had her chance to raise her babies how she wanted to and this is yours so she needs to respect ur choices and decisions. Plus things have changed a lot since she last had a baby!

Hope ur all ok and all the babies are doing well. Faith still not sleeping through but think teething is awful for them so let's hope they all settle down soon haha x

 

[Staceylou27]

Njp I agree with kaa and your wife should help more with parenting if she dislikes your style so much.

If my oh doesn't agree with something we will discuss it and find a compromise he does sometimes say it always has to be my way but if I say to him ok we will try what you think he always says no.

Kaa what are you making her weetabix with? Her formula or milk?

Ruby seems to have got the hang of veg and might be getting a bit fed up so wanted to introduce other things. I didn't know what the guidelines were for dairy foods such as cheese and butter/flora I was going to try her with some Toast with flora or cheese spread on to make them softer. I also read that they can have well done scrambled eggs...?

Great about the house move I hope you settle in soon.

Mellie 16 days is not much at all you know jake the best go with what you think.
We started Ruby around 19 weeks I think it was and she's been fine with it and seems to be enjoying it

As I'm typing this im really fancying weetabix! Ha might have to have them for breakfast

 

[Kaa286]

Stace i bf but from 6m u can mix their food with whole milk anyway so thought id rather just crack on with that than expressing as i find it a chore with my hand held and i am starting to think thats how i acquired my tendon damage in my thumb!!

I often have the same as faith but always put sugar on or in mine after putting her portion out haha.

As far as im aware as long as it's full fat dairy and u get unsalted products (like lurpak) then it's fine. I mix mash with with a bit of butter to soften the potato a bit more and that's ok.
Glad ruby is enjoying the veg

 

[nicejuicypear]

I read that it's good to introduce some meat early so how about some chicken breast?

Aww I really want to wean Frankie now! Oh just remembered, I found 2 highchairs I'd been looking at on display in M&S so I decided to try Frankie out in them to see if they were comfy for her and managed to demolish the display! I nearly tipped one highchair over when she was in it and had to be helped by an old woman to stop Frankie falling on the floor. Then I knocked another one over when putting the first one back. I felt like a right tit.

I generally tend to ignore my wife or just give a non answer then do what I want anyway.

We are going away for a couple of nights tomorrow, hopefully will help us feel a bit more connected again. Frankie is coming but a couple of days without the teens will be good. One is being a nightmare at the minute, won't go into it because I'd be here all night!

Kaa, I think faith has the first tooth of the thread! Glad you've got through the move, you'll be rid of the old landlady soon. We lost all of our deposit when we left the last place, I was really pissed off. So many landlords are arses. I've only had one nice one.

 

[Staceylou27]

Thanks kaa going to the supermarket later now! And think I will try some chicken breast too. I had all these ideas of what she would eat but then I've stalled giving her them all think I worry if I'm doing the right thing. There's so many guidelines that say diff things it doesn't make it easy.

I don't envy you with the landlords we've bought our house so havnt had to deal with one.

Oh dear njp you had to try the high chairs tho I think we've all done something like that at some point it is embarrassing tho 😳 a few nights away sounds good a hope you enjoy it

 

[Kaa286]

Yes strips of chicken breast are ok for them and fish u can make fish pie or cook salmon in butter and flake it over pasta with a bit of philadelphia mixed in. Friend passed that one on to me sounds yum!! Going to try fish pie with faith soon
Yay first tooth haha keep trying to get a pic but her tongue is in the way!

Ah hahaha that is something that sounds like only you could do haha!! Funny. Glad u didnt drop frankie though!
Hope u have a nice couple days away. Where are u off to?
My mum is taking faith for a couple hours on friday so that we can finish sorting the house out and get rid of all the boxes in the garage. Nervous but know she be fine in day.

It isnt easy stacey is it :-/ so much advice and conflicting things and then family members being like pfffttt we did it all and nothing wrong with mine / you lot etc. Im like i want to do it this way so shut up ha.

 

[Staceylou27]

Yea it is hard. Our families have been really good actually my dad did try give her ice cream but when I said she didn't need it he was ok about it.

I don't like raw meat I struggle to cook it and I really for like fish unless its battered or breaded I do like tinned tuna so I could try her with that.

Aw bless faith with her first tooth was she grumpy with it coming through? I really dislike unpacking best that faith isn't there you will get it done quicker.

Njp did u buy the high chair?! Ha

Ruby's had lots of poos these last 2 days yday she had 5 and today she's already had 3 since 8am. She usually has 2 maybe 3 a day. There quite wet too (sorry tmi!) I don't think it's anything she's eaten cos she's only eaten veg and fruit that she's used to and porridge at dinner time. The only thing new was Sunday she actually ate a bit of broccoli rather than licking it but that came out Monday! Lol. And she had a very small bite of parsnip Monday evening which she hasn't don't before. We've got health visitor this aft so going to ask her. She seems ok in herself just refusing to nap grr!

 

[nicejuicypear]

No stacey I didn't buy one after all that! I liked the chicco polly but it's heavy, as I found when I had to pick it up, and expensive. My other like is now the Red Kite Feed Me HiLo. They both have adjustable foot rests which is why I like them. Need to find the red kite on offer somewhere, £60 is more than I wanted to pay.

We're going to Yorkshire, or Lancashire, somewhere between Manchester and Leeds. With using cloth nappies, Frankie's suitcase is bigger than mine!

Frankie has had a couple of random poo days and that's just on milk, I think it just happens sometimes.

 

[mellie_88]

I've managed 2 more days without giving him food so it's slowly getting closer and closer to the 6 month mark. We don't have that many allergies in the family. Only really my niece who can't have dairy or eggs. But we believe that was due to formula not food anyway. I am really excited about starting food though, we have the highchair already.

NJP I'm sure I saw that one on offer somewhere will have a little look later and see if I can find where it was. It was a while ago though so it might have stopped now.

We're still waiting to move house, it's taking ages. Really not looking forward to actually moving all our stuff though. I imagine the new place is just going to be covered in boxes for ages afterwards.

 

[Kaa286]

Their nappies can go bad when teething hun so maybe they're moving around in her gums
Faith struggled with her tooth coming through kept crying out in the night and wouldnt settle. Just waiting for the next one to poke through now as i can see it just underneath. She slept lots better last night so hoping once next one through we can have better nights again!

I have the antilop high chair from ikea. I went to see my gma one day and she just handed it over. She buys so much haha. We havent bought nappies since faith born. My nan just ordered the red kite walker from mothercare so get that fri. Has feeding tray and folds away so can take with me when go to others houses like my mums n then can feed her easily in that. Only 30 quid too.

Ooh nice njp hope u have a lovely time

Stacey let us know what hv says. Hope it's nothing.

 

[Kaa286]

Did your offer go through on that house then mellie?
Don't envy you it's a right pain in the butt!

Well done on persevering. Is he still crying when u eat?

Also stacey even if you dont like fish you could maybe just cook a bit for ruby and split it into ice cube trays to freeze as meal portions. Or cook the fish u like in batter etc and give her a taste of the inside?!

 

[Staceylou27]

It could be teething she has been dribbling a lot more than usual these last few days and has been grumpy.

Just tried her on toast for dinner she seemed to really enjoy it and didn't gag. Yea I didn't think about taking the middle out of the battered one for her.

I don't blame you njp I wouldn't spend that much. There's a few baby events on at the minute do any of them have the red kite one? Sounds like your coming up my way njp for your few nights away

 

[Staceylou27]

I mean i did think about talking the middle out! Lol

 

[Staceylou27]

Ruby now weighs 14lb 7 1/2oz she's put on more than her usual pound a month which I thinks down to weaning, she's almost double her birth weight. They were happy with her and she's gone back up a centile now.

She said the poos could be due to teething cos she's also not taking her bottles too well.

 

[mellie_88]

Yea offer went through on the house, it got delayed because it had to habe a flooring inspection but that's all fine so now it's just the solicitors sorting all the other bits out. So hopefully soon, just want to be in there now!

Yep he still cries, a lot, every time we eat. Sometimes even when we drink! It's a nightmare. On one hand I'm like its only 2 weeks I may as well give him something now and on the other hand I'm saying it's only 2 weeks surely I can wait that long! Just taking it day by day so we'll see how long it is till I cave in and give him some carrot!

Was talking to some of the mom's at baby group about weaning poos today. They sound delightful. Apparently if you give them bolognese it comes out red and looks like it has blood in it! :/

 

[Applecrumble]

Mellie if he is crying when eating..i think its time to feed him bless him. I think 6months is a guideline, think of the weight chart ..the guidelines have to cover the whole spectrum of babies so will be on the conservative side.

Imogen also de-latches when i snack or drink, njp. Sorry njp about your wife...its amazing gow many people have opinions. You cant spoil a baby and sure you are finding the balance. Once someone (ie your wife) has a bee in there bonnet about something thats all there look for and they will ignore the times when you do let her self settle.

Thanks fir your lovely comments on Imogens first breakfast today that i posted on fb. She only had a cup of water, just wanted to get her use to family meals. She enjoyed it though..maybe on saturday she may get food.

For protein someone told me fish fingers are good. (Take the breadcrumbs off , which comes away easily and its just pure fish). My hv also said wait till 6months to give solid food but before 6months purees.

Sure i have missed loads.. Have again had a tough couple of nights sleep and with oh off work its been tricky. Imogen naps between 8:30-9:30 and then 110ish and then one between 2-3:30 only 30mins each time unless i can add on a car journey to stretch it out. Bedtime is 6:30-7pm

 

[Staceylou27]

Yea I thought about fish fingers without the outer part. Ruby tried toast with dairylea she seemed to like it and also pasta quills she just sucked them. She did have a piece of cucumber and she seemed to love it but I think it was partly because it was cold on her gums

Apple the naps sound like Ruby she will only do half hours unless we've been out in he car and pram and she might sleep for an hour. The last we times she's slept for 2 hours tho after a walk in pram!

Aw mellie have you given jake anything yet? You could just sit him in the high chair with you at the table and Give him some water in a tippee cup? That's what we were going to do this Ruby before we decided to try her on baby rice