Men say the funniest things

[Wills_Mrs]

Other night hubby was in about starting going out running again as he hasn't been is months due to other things going on.. Asked if I wanted to come along with him, but I said No cause I think running is boring and would only do if I was running something..

He then pipes up "what, like a pasty tied to the back of a bus?!'

I jut looked at him speechless for a minute and then said "no I meant like training for a marathon or something"..

He was like oh cr@p!! Hahaha eejit..

 

[LilyMac]

Pahahahahaha!!!

 

[tweetyfoo]

 

[Pippa1703]

Loving this thread! Im always mocking my oh because es 13yrs older but he does himself no favours when t comes to the senior mOments..

While discussing where I'd like to go on holiday:
Me: ooh, what about Croatia, it's beautiful there
OH: nah, full of bloody midgets
Me: eh?
OH: yeah, when my dad went he got covered in bites all over his legs!
Me: either your dad must have provoked them, or you actually mean midges??
OH: oh.....yeah, my bad!

 

[LilyMac]

Midgets!!!!!

 

[Emily0505]

Driving home the other evening after a nice family lunch and hubby had had a few drinks...

OH: Ah, your turning left
Me: Yes dear, its the way home
OH: Yes, but some may choose to go right
Me: Not if they were coming to our house as they would be going the wrong way!!

XX

 

[vinandbella]

midgets

Brilliant thread girls

 

[CARNAT22]

OH last night asked if we'd had any trickle treaters...

It must be a regular mistake though as my sister said the same to me yesterday?? She calls them trickle treaters as well !!

xxxxxxx

 

[tweetyfoo]

I was upstairs expressing last night when DH came running into the room in a blind panic ...

because there were kids at the door!

He asked me to "pause" expressing and go deal with them, as he didn't know what to do!

I told him to open the door and give them sweets - he replied

"who says trick or treat? me or them?"

He continued to hop from one foot to the other in a blind panic until I shouted that he was a dad now he needed to learn to deal with kids!

 

[tweetyfoo]

On me needing a stronger perscription for my glasses

DH: I have really good eyesight, optician said it was 40:40 vision




Please excuse any typos from my fat fingers!
Tapatalk madness!

 

[tweetyfoo]

Oh yeah ... After a 20 min coversation about weaning today he said

"What's weaning"


Please excuse any typos from my fat fingers!
Tapatalk madness!

 

[Pudds86]

Hahha he's on a roll tweety

Sent from my shit hot phone! Fo shizzle home girls.

 

[HopesDreams]

"who says trick or treat? me or them?"

I love him. That gave me SUCH a laugh, much needed.

 

[Asd1]

My oh said " babies can survive on just milk ? That's good I thought you had to give them that jar stuff from day one " I don't know how our poor child will end up with a dad like this! He was quite impressed that we would save that money tho

 

[Spammy]

I just read this thread from start to finish and nearly wet my pants. Sooo funny.

I am sure my hubs says stupid stuff all the time. Now I know there's a thread for I I will keep them in mind!

 

[tweetyfoo]

After eating the news that John barrowman fell off the horse in his panto

(Fab panto it has a real Iive horse)

Hubby looks it up in the news ... Points to the screen and says

"Is that the horse he fell off"

My response

"Now that's a cow"




Please excuse any typos from my fat fingers!
Tapatalk madness!

 

[tabbi]

flipping heck...hahahaha
to be fair years ago they used cows and painted them to look like horses lol x x x

 

[Andreabrad]

I am sat expressing trying to be quiet as its only 6am and I've literally LOLLED!!!!
Midgits ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!

Bless these men!!

xx

 

[Little_angel]

Brilliant! I've not had a good day, but just read this thread again and I feel so much better!!

 

[twinkles]

This one cracks me up every time...

When oh does 'this little piggy' on lo's toes, this is how it goes....

This little piggy went to market,
This little piggy stayed at home,
This little piggy went to the ABATTOIR?!?!?!

What?! He was being serious! The last 2 toes don't get any part because I'm so weak laughing at him he sulks off realising a slaughter house isn't in the nursery rhyme!!

Don't know the words? Just make it up!!!! Bless! X